“She said something else in Romanian over the pot, and then she scooped some out. We all had to dip our fingers in it, then touch it to our lips. I was scared—I kept thinking that I had no idea what she was giving us. So I didn’t actually touch it. It was dark, and I figured no one was really going to notice.”
Amber took a long drink of her tea and closed her eyes over the mug. I could feel her exhaustion.
“Amber, was what they were doing—was it like a Wiccan ceremony?” Marly was doing an admirable job of keeping her voice steady.
Amber shook her head. “I don’t really know anything about that, but I asked Nell once if we were Wiccan, and she said no. What Marica taught us was ancient magics, from her homeland. Marica said that her family had been powerful for many generations, and they had passed on their secrets. We didn’t worship anything; there was no mention of demons or anything like that. And I know that wiccans usually worship the elements, right? We didn’t do that.”
“How often did you have these ceremonies in the woods?” Luke too was remaining calm.
“Every other week or so. Marica would tell us when we were meeting. Of course, the Chem. club was happening almost every day after school. My parents were starting to get worried, but then, on the other hand, for the first time I was happy and involved, so they didn’t tell me I couldn’t go.”
“What else happened at the meetings in the woods?” Michael asked.
Amber pursed her lips. “Well, they all pretty much started like that, then after we would chant over the potion, each girl would perform something—Marica called it proof of power. It could be something small, like creating fire, or bigger—levitating or whatever. And then after that we danced around the circle, and then we’d chant again, and sometimes Marica would talk, then we would leave.
“I mean, I know it sounds lame. But being part of it… and Marica telling us how our power was growing exponentially… and how we had to keep silent about it, because that was part of the power. She told us we could be unstoppable. She said that we were all her daughters, that she had foreseen that she would come to this place, which was a mystical spot, and that she would pass on her secrets to us.”
I caught Michael’s eye. “That would be exactly what Nell’s looking for—someone who calls her a daughter. I can see how Ms. Lacusta drew her in.”
“Yeah,” Amber agreed with me. “I could tell that Nell was really… almost possessive of Marica. From what I heard from the other girls, Nell had started messing with witchcraft —they call it the power—about a year ago. I think in the beginning, in her mind it was a link to her mom. She had her mother’s books, and of course she probably knows people from her family who still practice it. But she didn’t get very far, and she wasn’t happy with the spells she’d found. Julie said they thought Nell was getting bored with that and was finally going to stop making them play along. She had started dating Kyle, and they were all relieved.
“But then Marica arrived. She sought Nell out, spent time with her, and convinced her to help start up the chemistry club. Nell was… I think it was Liza who said that Nell had been infatuated with Ms. Lacusta from the beginning. She was—and is—possessive of her, even among all of us. She hated her to give attention or time to anyone else.”
“That’s one of the reasons Nell hated me right away—Ms. Lacusta was nice to me that first day.”
“It was more than that,” Amber said slowly. “Marica talked about you that first day, too. She said there was power in you. She didn’t know what it was, but she was excited. She wanted Nell to be your friend, to get you to join us. And Nell—that was the first time I saw her freak out. She screamed at Marica, she said she hated you and there was no way you were joining us. Nell said that if Marica brought you in, all of the rest of us would leave.”
My heart accelerated. Ms. Lacusta sensed power in me? Was that just a coincidence, or did she really know something?
Michael frowned and tightened his grip on my hand. I could feel his protective nature leaping forward, and I heard him think darkly that Ms. Lacusta would never get near me again.
“After that, things got worse. Nell wasn’t the same nice person she had been. Well, to be honest, she had been getting kind of snappy even before you got here. I think Marica might have been—I don’t know, almost getting bored with Nell? Nell followed her around like a puppy sometimes, and although Marica probably liked that at first, Nell was maybe getting too demanding. It might have been that you were just a convenient excuse for her to start to make a change.”
“Amber, about two weeks ago you came into English all upset. I could hear you—your thoughts were so panicked you were practically yelling. That was when I started worrying about what Nell was up to with you. What happened that day?”
Amber knit her brows. “So much happened so fast there… two weeks ago. Well, things started getting scarier to me about a month ago. Nell started talking about what could be done to… threaten you. To keep you away from Ms. Lacusta and the chemistry club. And she wasn’t just talking about being mean to you—she kept saying she had the power to make it happen.
“That was enough to make me second-guess everything that had happened in the past two months. Then Casey said something to Nell, totally off-topic, about Marica. Nothing important, just like Marica had told her something. And Nell freaked out on her. She wanted Casey to just stay away from Marica, and Casey—she’s braver than the others, braver than me, definitely. She told Nell to shut up. I saw the look Nell gave Casey after she turned around, and it was just awful. It scared me to death.
“And I guess it probably was the day you’re talking about when Nell grabbed me outside of class. She told me she had plans, and I was part of them. She said we were going to do something, just the two of us, that the others couldn’t know about. She told me, ‘Just be ready,’ and then she smiled—but it was the worst thing I’d ever seen. And I was really frightened.”
“That makes sense,” I mused. “And it was about then that Nell was thinking about… hurting you, Amber. I saw her thinking about the knife that afternoon.”
Amber shuddered, and Marly moved to put her arms around her. “Poor thing,” she murmured. “You’ve been through so much. Let me warm up your tea.”
We were all quiet until Marly returned and perched on the arm of my chair. She put her arm around my shoulder and drew me to her, kissing the top of my head. “It must have been so frightening for you, seeing and hearing what you were, and not knowing what to do.” She leveled a gaze at Michael. “You know you could have come to us.”
It was Michael’s turn to look uncomfortable. “I know. But it would have meant telling you how we knew what we did, and that would have meant betraying Tasmyn’s confidence. I couldn’t do that.”
I turned to look up at Marly. “It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you,” I explained. “But I’ve never told anyone on purpose. Michael guessed. My parents don’t know that he knows—it would really upset them. They’ve been protecting my secret all my life.”
Marly smiled at me. “I’m not upset at you,” she assured me. “And I’m not mad at Michael either. I can see why you thought you had to do this, but the mom in me is not happy that I couldn’t protect either of you.”
“Speaking of moms and so on, it’s getting pretty late. We should probably take Amber home—and Tasmyn, too.”
I turned to Amber. “If you want, you can stay with me tonight, and I’ll take you home in the morning.”
Amber hesitated, and then shook her head. “I appreciate it, more than I can tell you. But—I kind of want to see my parents. I’ve been less than honest with them in the past few months. I want to be truthful now.”
“What will you tell them?” Michael asked.
“As much of the truth as I can. I’ll tell them that Nell really wasn’t my friend. I’ll tell them that she hurt me—emotionally. And I’ll tell them that they were right all along about her.”
I touched Amber’s shoulder. “I ho
pe you can tell them that you made some new friends tonight. You don’t have to go back to being lonely, Amber, just because of what’s happened with Nell.”
She wasn’t sure, I could tell. And who could blame her: between what had happened to her when she did trust someone and now what she had learned about me tonight, she had to be completely freaked out. Which reminded me… I opened my mouth, but Michael beat me to it.
“I agree with Tasmyn, Amber. I hope we’ll see you at our lunch table on Monday. But there’s one thing. Please remember no one can know about Tasmyn’s gift. This is really important. Especially not Nell or any of her group, or Ms. Lacusta.”
Amber’s eyes were wide. “Don’t worry. I won’t say a word. I’m not planning to talk to any of them ever again if I can help it. I just want to go back to being normal.
Normal would have been nice. And actually, I did have one day of it. I made it home on Friday before my curfew, even with all of our extracurricular activities. Michael and I decided on the way back into town with Amber that telling my parents loosely the same story that Amber told hers would be the safest way to go. The only difference was that I admitted to my parents that I had actually heard Nell planning to humiliate Amber but assured them that my secret was still safe.
My mom and dad were more surprised than angry, at least initially. I was so tired that I barely knew what I said to them before I shuffled off to bed with the promise to explain more the next day.
I slept until nearly noon on Saturday and stumbled out into the kitchen. My mother must have heard me poking around for something to eat because she came out of her office and sat at the kitchen table.
“I was just about to go in and make sure you were breathing,” she commented.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “I’m not used to being up so late… or all the excitement, I guess.”
“Yes, it sounds like you had quite the night,” my mom observed.
“You know me. Never a dull moment.”
“I’m sorry that your first dance turned out this way, though.”
I picked up my bowl of fruit and joined my mother at the table. “You know, it was fun. I did have a good time. The part with Nell and Amber didn’t ruin it for me.”
“Well, good, I’m glad to hear it.” She was toying with a napkin, a frown on her face, which I knew meant she had something to say. I picked at my fruit and waited.
“Your dad and I are worried. You heard something from that girl’s mind, and then that you acted on it. That was a real risk.”
I didn’t answer right away. I knew this was coming. What I had done, or at least what my parents knew I had done, went against everything they had taught me about controlling and concealing my gift.
“I don’t know how else I could have handled it. I couldn’t have let Amber be hurt—in any way.”
“But Tasmyn, we’ve talked about this so many times before. What you hear people think—you cannot base judgments or actions on that. And you’re not even supposed to be putting yourself in a position to hear those thoughts. You know how to protect yourself from hearing things. How did that happen?”
I cast my eyes down unhappily. “It’s been harder lately. It seems like the happier and more relaxed I am, the more difficult it is to keep up my guard.”
My mother sighed. “Well, that’s a dilemma. Obviously, your dad and I are glad that you’re happy, and we don’t want you to lose that. It’s been very gratifying for us to see you make real friends here. We felt that you were finally old enough to have those friends and still keep your secret. But you’re going to have to work harder, Tas, to learn how to maintain your mental block even while you’re more relaxed.”
“But what if I can’t? What if this is just the way I was made and I’m really supposed to be using this gift, not trying to suppress it?”
My mom’s mouth dropped slightly, and she stared at me. “Tasmyn, that idea is very frightening to me. That’s why what happened last night scares us. You cannot go around interfering with lives just because you think that your talent gives you that right.”
My temper was rising, and I struggled to remain calm. “I wouldn’t say it gives me any rights. I look at it more as an obligation. If I heard someone planning a crime, wouldn’t I be right to do something about it?”
“But the question is, where do you draw that line? How do you determine that someone is merely considering versus someone who is seriously planning?”
“I can tell the difference,” I insisted. I remembered Nell’s first vague idea about blood sacrifice and then her very specific planning of this past week. It was quite clear to me.
My mother shook her head. “We need to talk about this more, when your dad can be part of the conversation.”
“Mom, look at this way: you’ve raised me right. You taught me how to manage this talent of mine. Now in less than two years, I’m going to be leaving home anyway and making my own choices about how I adapt my life to my particular circumstances. Wouldn’t you rather I start doing that now, when I can come to you for advice and guidance, than when I’m completely on my own?”
She reached out and laid her hand over mine on the table. “Tasmyn, as long as Daddy and I are living, you’ll never be alone. We’ll always be here for you. And I don’t think I agree that there are choices to be made. It’s just a matter of controlling your mind…”
“Then you’ve lied to me all along. In your eyes, it’s not a gift or a talent, like you and Daddy have always said. It’s a handicap. A curse.”
Something flickered in her eyes, and I knew I had hit on a nerve. But her voice was steady. “Don’t be ridiculous. We don’t think of it that way.”
I stood and picked up my empty bowl. “You’re right that we need to talk about this, all of us. But today, I’m still too worn out. I need a little peace and quiet.” My first instinct was to call Michael and ask him to come take me to the nursery, but I knew that wouldn’t work. This was the last weekend of October, one of the busiest days all year. And I doubted my parents would be very enthused about me leaving at this point, either.
Instead I spent the better part of the day in my room, working on homework and doing laundry. I carefully folded my dress from the dance and put it in a bag for the dry cleaners. It gave me a pang of regret to think that my first dance would always be associated with Nell.
Late in the afternoon, I heard the phone ring and hoped it would be Michael, offering to come and rescue me. And my mother did come to my room, carrying the cordless handset. But when she handed it to me, she whispered, “It’s Amber.”
Surprised, I took the phone and settled on my bed, the door closed behind my mom.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Tasmyn? Hi… it’s Amber.”
“Hey! How are you doing today? Did you sleep okay?”
“Well, once I got to sleep, I pretty much passed out. I was up for a long time, talking with my parents.”
“How did that go?” I wondered, thinking about my own recent conversation.
“It went… well, it was incredible, actually. They were so understanding, and worried… we talked a long time about how I can change things in my life, so I’m not so easily taken in by someone like Nell again.”
My heart warmed. “I’m so glad, Amber. It sounds like your parents are pretty terrific.”
“They are. I never really thought about it until now. I’ve always felt so sorry for myself because of how bad things are at school, but lots of kids don’t have parents like mine. That’s a good thing, right?”
“It’s a very good thing,” I agreed. “And I don’t think things will be so bad at school anymore. You know Michael and I were serious about wanting you to hang with us. You’ll be surprised how fast Michael’s friends accept people. Hey, they took me in, didn’t they?”
“As long as none of them are into… other stuff, I’m in.”
I laughed, without too much humor. “No, I can assure you that no one in that crowd is into anything wacky. Just the
typical stuff. You’ll like them.”
“Okay, good, I’m looking forward to Monday. Isn’t that weird? Probably the worst Friday night of my life, ever, and I’m excited about Monday.”
I laughed. “I’m glad you called, Amber. I was thinking about you today. What are you doing tomorrow?”
“Well, my parents have been going to that new church outside town. You know Cara, that girl in our class whose dad is a minister? It’s his church. So I was thinking I would go with them tomorrow. They’ve wanted me to go, but Nell always made fun of it, so I didn’t go. If Nell doesn’t like it, I figure it’s probably a good thing.”
“Yeah, I think you’re onto something there. I know Cara. She’s really nice. You’ll like her too—she sits at our lunch table.”
“Cool! I’m going to go help my mom with dinner. I’ll see you Monday?”
“Definitely,” I promised, hanging up. The conversation had made me thoughtful about my own situation. I knew that my parents only wanted the best for me. The tricky part, I decided, was that at some point my opinion of what was best and theirs were going to part ways. Could I handle that gracefully, so that my mother and father realized that it wasn’t them I was rejecting—just their view of my talent? I wasn’t sure yet.
Dinner that night was subdued. Our conversation stuck to the generalities, and I could feel the unease that both of my parents were experiencing. I realized that what I had said to my mother this afternoon went counter to everything they wanted for me, which was only a normal life. I needed them to understand that maybe I wasn’t designed for normal.
King Series Box Set Page 25
