Her Surprise Cowboy--A Clean Romance

by Claire McEwen

  Trisha drew in a deep breath, trying to steady herself. “I’m just so anxious about all this. I don’t know how to explain it except to say that Henry is my world. He’s been my world since I got pregnant. And when you have a baby, the most enormous protective instinct takes over. It’s kind of primal. So I guess you coming into our lives has me on edge. I don’t really know you. I don’t even know if you’re safe for us.”

  “Hey.” Liam put out a hand, his warm gentle fingers resting on hers. “I would never hurt you. Or Henry. Please trust me on that.”

  “I’m trying. It didn’t help that the first thing you did when you got into town was pull out a gun.”

  “I’m a Texan. There are guns everywhere back home. I’ve now learned, the hard way, that they are a way bigger deal out here in California.” He opened his hands in a helpless gesture. “I can’t undo what I did.”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry. This is a lot to get used to.”

  “You’re telling me. I barely slept last night, trying to get my head around this. Trying to figure out if I’m even fit to be a dad to Henry.” He was silent for a few moments, stacking blocks again. Henry let go of the ball and crawled over to knock them down.

  “Captain Destructo,” Trisha murmured, tickling Henry’s tummy. He giggled and hit at the blocks, so they tilted and rolled on the rug.

  Liam’s voice was so quiet, she barely heard it. “I was a drug addict, Trisha.”

  A clammy feeling crept over her skin and settled cold and heavy in her stomach. “What happened?”

  “I was a bull rider. I competed in college and for over a year afterward and it was all going pretty good, until I got stepped on by a bull. My leg was smashed and I was in a whole lot of pain. I got addicted to the painkillers they gave me after surgery.”

  Trisha remembered the medications from her own accident. The alluring sensation of drifting above the pain. “That happens to a lot of people. The doctors are supposed to wean you off.”

  “I didn’t want to be weaned off. I just wanted that numb feeling again and again. I don’t know why. My mom died while I was in college, from cancer—maybe I never really dealt with that. For whatever reason, I kept finding new ways to get the drugs. Going to different doctors, even buying pills on the street. I lost everything—whatever money I had, my friends. I even broke the trust of my family. I stole from the ranch.”

  Henry crawled over to say hello. Trisha picked him up and set him in her lap. She handed him a stuffed lamb that he liked to shake, taking comfort in his warmth and sweet wiggly presence. “What’s going on with you now?”

  “I’ve been off them for almost two years. I went to rehab, came home and worked on my family’s ranch until I came out here.”

  “So this is the first time you’ve lived away from your family since it happened?”

  “Yup. I think they figured it was time I proved to everyone that I could head out into the world and not run into any trouble.”

  “And you ran into a baby.” It was a lot to take in. Too much. She almost wanted to laugh. A few minutes ago she’d been worried because he was young. That seemed like the least of her worries now.

  He smiled ruefully at Henry. “I sure did. I want you to know that I don’t crave the pills anymore. Or any drug. I don’t drink or smoke or anything. But addiction, well, they say it’s a lifelong battle. I could go back to it someday if I’m not careful. You’re letting me into Henry’s life, so you have a right to know who I am. Who I was. And who I could become again.”

  Trisha kissed the top of Henry’s head, feeling the weight of Liam’s words as further responsibility. “This is so complicated, Liam. It’s my job to keep Henry safe.”

  “That’s why I was sitting out in the truck today. I was trying to decide if I should even come in. Maybe I’m not the dad Henry needs.”

  Knowing that Liam had doubts increased her own. “I appreciate you telling me. I’d like to say it’s no big deal. But of course it is.” Suddenly it was all too much. He was a twenty-six-year-old former drug addict who was quite possibly here in Henry’s life solely out of guilt and a sense of duty. When she strung it all into one sentence like that, their little playdate today seemed like a terrible idea.

  “Can we just try this again another time? This is all a lot to process.”

  She saw the disappointment in his eyes before he hid it with his usual self-deprecating demeanor. “I’m not much of a catch—I understand that. But I will do my best to be what you and Henry need. Okay?”

  She stood up, setting Henry on her hip. “Thanks for that.”

  Liam stood, too, and picked up the books from the coffee table. “Still okay if I borrow these?”

  “Of course.” Maybe her reaction was over-the-top. Lots of people had problems with pills after major accidents. But her mind was reeling. It felt like she’d gone too close to the edge of a cliff and was scrambling back to safety as fast as she could.

  He reached over and picked up one of Henry’s little hands with his first finger. “Bye, Henry. Great hanging out with you today.” Henry’s fingers curled around his. “Look at that. He’s got a good grip.”

  Father and son had a little finger shake until Henry released him.

  Liam’s warm hazel gaze held Trisha’s for a moment. “I’d like to talk to you soon. I hope this won’t change everything.”

  “I don’t know what to think.” Emotion added a raw note to her voice.

  “Let me know when you do.” And then he was out the door.

  Trisha watched him from the living room window as he pulled his boots on, clapped his hat on his head and went to his truck. He let Ranger out of the back and put him in the cab, and then dog and owner drove off down the street.

  Trisha kissed Henry on the head and tried to believe she’d just done the right thing, taking a step back. What could be wrong with needing a little time to think? They had time. They didn’t need to rush this.

  Just because Liam had ended up here in Shelter Creek didn’t mean Trisha had to bend over backward to make everything okay for him. Or put Henry in a situation that she wasn’t comfortable with.

  Except Liam wouldn’t be in Shelter Creek for that long. So maybe she should figure out what she wanted sooner rather than later.

  She carried her son to the kitchen and filled a bottle. “Let’s tuck you up for a nap, little one.” In the bedroom, they cuddled in the rocker while Henry drank his formula. Then she changed his diaper, put him in pajamas and set him in his crib. Exhaustion crept over her and she lay on her bed next to the crib, watching Henry watch his mobile. His eyes closed, then opened, then closed again. He huffed out a little sigh and slept.

  Trisha closed her eyes, too—so, so weary. Maybe, if she slept, she’d wake up with more clarity than she had now. Or maybe sleep would just give her a much-needed break from her turbulent, troubled thoughts.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  LIAM TRIED TO focus on what Jace was saying but it was tough. He kept scanning the hills beyond the pasture. It had become a habit now, looking for that coyote. Hoping it might show up, miraculously healed.

  “We’ve got to rotate this pasture sooner than we might otherwise,” Jace was saying. “We want the grass to regenerate quickly and if the cattle cut it too short, or trample it to mud, that isn’t going to happen. When you’re raising grass-fed cattle, hay is always your last resort, used for emergencies.”

  Liam willfully dragged his focus back from his coyote search. “So basically, you’re trying to give the cow the most natural life possible, start to finish.”

  “Right, but you can’t just try. Not if you want to be able to market your beef as certified grass-fed. You have to make it work, and that takes a lot of planning.”

  “Okay.” Liam saw a faint motion in the brush beyond the pasture. Could it be the coyote?

  “But as a result of all the work,
you’ll sell your beef for a whole lot more than you might have otherwise.” Jace paused. “Are you still following me?”

  “I’m sorry.” Liam forced his eyes away from the brush. No more branches had moved. Maybe he’d just imagined an animal going through.

  “You’re thinking about the coyote again?”

  Busted. Liam’s face heated. “Yup. And it’s weird. Back home, I never gave much thought to killing animals who hassled the cattle.”

  Jace nodded. “It’s different out here, isn’t it? In Shelter Creek, we’re surrounded by so much wild land, it sometimes feels like we’re the trespassers.”

  Liam smiled, relieved that Jace understood. “It’s true. Also, it bugs me that firing my gun was such a knee-jerk reaction. I guess I didn’t realize it was so ingrained.”

  Like reaching for another pill. In rehab he’d vowed to become someone who thought things through. Someone who asked for help, instead of following every impulse.

  “You’ve just found out you have a kid. That must make everything seem different. I know I had to examine a lot of my own behavior when I took on my sister’s kids.”

  “How did you do it?” Liam felt dumb asking, but he had to know. “I mean, one minute you were traveling from rodeo to rodeo, the next you had three kids to look after. I can’t even wrap my head around having one.”

  “Well, I guess I was a little less surprised than you. I knew my nieces and nephew a little, and I knew that my sister had some big problems. But it was still hard. I had to learn parenting fast—way faster than the folks who do it the normal way. I messed up a million times.”

  “The thing is, if I mess up, Trisha will just keep Henry away from me.”

  Jace shook his head. “Trisha is one of the sweetest people I know. She’s scared right now, and trying to figure out how to do right by both you and Henry, but you two will work it out. Just take it slow. Give her some space.”

  “I told her about my past. That I’d been addicted. I assume my dad mentioned something to you about that, before he sent me out here?”

  Jace nodded. “He did.”

  “It doesn’t bother you?”

  “You’re not still using, right?”

  “No, sir. Absolutely not.”

  Jace nodded. “You seem all right to me. Look, Liam, we’ve all had problems we had to overcome. You know me—I was always drinking and fighting when I was younger. And my buddy Caleb won’t mind me telling you that he’s sober and goes to AA. In fact, he’d probably be happy to take you to his next meeting. Might not be a bad idea...and it would show Trisha that you’re serious about maintaining your recovery.”

  “That would be great. I’d appreciate it.” He’d do whatever it took to show Trisha he’d changed. That he took his role as a father seriously.

  “I think it’s better if we all judge each other on our present selves, rather than our past.” Jace fixed Liam with a stern look. “But...if you hurt Trisha or do wrong by her and little Henry, then that will be a problem.”

  “I want to do the right thing.” Liam remembered the shock on Trisha’s face when he’d told her his age. “She thinks I’m too young.”

  Jace laughed. “She doesn’t know the way you were raised. Your dad gave you the responsibilities of a full-grown man when you were still in grade school. I was there—I saw it.”

  “Well, if it comes up, feel free to mention it to her.”

  “I could, but it would be better coming from you. Talk to her. Let her get to know you. She’ll see your age isn’t an issue. Unless...it is. Being a dad is not something to take lightly. If you get involved in Henry’s life, you have to commit to stay in Henry’s life.”

  “I’m just not sure how that’s going to work, since I live in Texas.”

  “People have been known to move.” Jace glanced around the pasture and then put a hand on Liam’s arm. “Hang on, what’s that?”

  He pointed toward the bushes Liam had been watching before. “I’m pretty sure I just saw a coyote over there.”

  “I knew it.” Liam wanted to jump up in the air, pump a fist, but he forced himself to stay calm, squinting at the bushes. “I thought I saw something over there earlier. I wonder if it’s my coyote.”

  “I don’t see it now. Don’t get your hopes up. There are plenty of them out there, waiting to move into new territory if it opens up. Did you know that if you kill off a bunch of coyotes, the ones left over will just start having bigger litters? You’ll end up with more coyotes than you started with.”

  “I didn’t know that.” Liam had lost count of all the things he didn’t know. It seemed to be the theme of his life right now. “Come on. Want to go closer and see if we can spot it?”

  Jace grinned. “You’re done with my lectures on grass-fed certification...and parenthood?”

  “For now. I truly appreciate all that you’re teaching me, Jace. I’m learning a lot, being here on your ranch. I guess I’m just a little distracted today.”

  “Well, it’s not like you have much on your mind.”

  Liam smiled at his sarcasm. “Yeah, just a few things.”

  They walked quietly toward the edge of the pasture where they’d both seen the bushes move. It was difficult to spot, but the coyote was there. Staring at them from behind bushes the same gray-brown color as its fur. Golden eyes, big ears and a front paw it was holding up off the ground, just a little.

  Liam’s chest ached with relief and something else. A deep current of joy and admiration. It had gone to ground, licked its wounds and survived. And now it was back—a wild embodiment of strength and courage. Silently, fiercely demanding that they return the pups.

  I didn’t realize what you were, when I pulled out the gun, Liam told the animal silently. I didn’t understand.

  They watched it for a few minutes, then Jace put a hand to Liam’s arm, indicating they should leave. Liam took one last, long look before they walked back to where they’d left their horses.

  “I think that was your coyote,” Jace said. “Did you see how it wasn’t putting weight on its paw?”

  “It sure seems like the same one.” Liam’s legs felt a little shaky with all the unexpected emotion. “I never thought I’d say this about a coyote, but I’m truly glad to see it.”

  “Let’s see if someone from the wildlife center can come out and take a look. I’d ask Vivian, but she took the kids shopping in town this afternoon. Apparently Amy is desperate for some brand of shoes that all the other girls are wearing.”

  “Left that job for Vivian, did you?”

  Jace grinned. “She offered. But yeah, she has a little more sympathy for that kind of thing than I do.”

  Liam hoped he could get Trisha to see that he had something to bring to Henry’s life. A kid needed a father, just like Jace’s kids needed Vivian. Like those pups needed their coyote parent.

  Jace pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I think I’ll try Emily. It seems like that coyote is doing okay, but I’d like her to get a look at it, if possible.”

  Liam walked a few paces back toward the coyote while Jace made his call. It was still there, staring at him through the bushes, and it was easy to read accusation into its golden eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “So sorry.”

  After a few moments, Jace came to join him. “Emily and Trisha are on their way. They were pretty excited. Their last appointment of the day canceled, so it’s perfect timing.”

  “I hope it sticks around.”

  “Why don’t you stay here and wait for them? If it moves, try to see which way it goes. I’ll head back and get going on the chores.”

  “You sure you don’t want to stay? I can do the chores.”

  “I figure you’re better off spending any time you can get with Trisha.” Jace tipped his head toward the coyote. “She may even like you, after this.”

  “I can always hope.
” He wasn’t counting on it. But maybe this could make a difference.

  Jace swung up on his horse, gave Liam a final wave and trotted back toward the barns. Liam went to comfort Wild Bill, who would rather have gone home with Jace. “You’ll get your hay soon enough, W.B.,” he told the big bay horse. “Just stick around here and help me redeem myself.” He scratched Bill between the ears and in the spot the horse liked best, under his thick black mane. It was nice to be quiet for a few minutes, to just hang out with his borrowed horse and take in the rolling green hills, the dimming blue of the afternoon sky, the whistling of the blackbirds that were ever-present around here. Liam’s mind had been racing ever since he left Trisha’s on Sunday. Four days later and this was probably the first time he’d felt calm, accepting even. Maybe the coyote’s return was a sign that he and Trisha would figure something out. Somehow.

  It didn’t seem long before Emily and Trisha came rattling up the lane in Emily’s truck. Liam went to open the gate for them and they parked near Wild Bill.

  “Is it still here?” Emily practically fell out of the driver’s side of the cab in her excitement.

  “It’s sitting in the bushes over there.” Liam pointed. “It hasn’t moved.”

  “It’s probably waiting for you to clear out of here so it can catch some dinner in peace.” Trisha lugged a big tripod around the side of the truck. “Hello, Liam.”

  He swallowed hard. She was so pretty, her thick blond hair braided into pigtails for work, a baseball cap on her head. Though, unfortunately, it advertised the San Francisco team. They’d have to talk about that another time. No way could Henry grow up cheering for anything but Texas.

  “Liam, will you take this spotting scope?” Emily pulled something that looked like a giant telescope out of a case and handed it to him. “Please don’t drop it.”

  He took the big scope carefully in his arms. “Follow me.”