Reflections of Yesterday

by Debbie Macomber

  The plane he’d chartered was scheduled to leave for Charleston tomorrow evening. He was going to be on it. If Angie was going to choose Lambert, then he wasn’t going to make it easy for her. Too much was at stake.

  Glenn worked out almost every night at the fitness center. Periodically, Angie joined him as his guest. After they were married, he told her, he would add her to the membership. Angie wasn’t looking forward to pumping iron and pretending she enjoyed it.

  She’d gone inside to change clothes before meeting Glenn at the outside tennis courts. Glancing around the room at the Nautilus equipment and the trim, muscular bodies of the men and women working out, Angie was reminded that Glenn did indeed love her. If he could spend time each night in the company of these sleek, fine-tuned bodies and then come to her, with all her weak muscles, it had to be love. A set of tennis every week or so was all the exercise she wanted. Working in Clay Pots tired her out enough as it was. The past two weeks had been the worst. Angie felt she was at her lowest ebb emotionally and physically. Her tennis game showed it.

  “Are you sure you’re feeling up to this?” Glenn asked her, after she had lost the second match with nary a return.

  Angie wiped the sweat from her forehead with a white hand towel. “I have played better tennis.”

  “My grandmother plays better tennis,” Glenn teased. “Why don’t we call it quits and get something to eat?”

  Angie agreed with a short nod, although her appetite was practically nil.

  Because of the early hour, the restaurant was nearly deserted. No sooner were they seated when a tall blonde waved from across the room and sauntered to their table. Angie self-consciously crossed her legs and ignored the glossily oiled body that claimed the chair next to her. The long-haired beauty had stopped off to say hello to Glenn and proceeded to drape her lithe build over him, making sure he was given the opportunity to admire her ample cleavage. Angie took delight in thinking catty thoughts. The blonde was at least ten pounds underweight. What did it matter if she looked fantastic?

  Glenn’s glance was apprehensive when the blonde left. “Sorry,” he muttered under his breath.

  “For what?” Angie’s lips twitched with suppressed laughter. “You couldn’t possibly believe I’d be concerned that Miss World would turn your head?”

  A slow, appreciative smile worked its way across his face as he reached for her hand. “Her beauty pales when she sits next to you.” He took her hands and clasped them firmly in his warm ones, his eyes smiling into hers.

  “Then the saying that love is blind must really be true.”

  “Not in this instance. I’m a man who knows what he wants, and I want you, Angela Robinson.”

  The words caught in her throat as she opened her mouth to reassure him that she was his. Instead she looked at him imploringly and miserably lowered her gaze.

  “I would have introduced you as my fiancée, but …” He let the rest of the sentence fade.

  “It doesn’t matter,” Angie murmured, picking up the menu and focusing her concentration on that. Good grief, did people honestly eat this stuff and live to tell about it? she wondered. A spinach salad was the safest item listed. Angie decided on that and set the menu aside. When she glanced up she discovered that Glenn was continuing to study her.

  “You say your dad stopped by last night?”

  “Shortly after you left.” She reached for her water glass and took a long swallow. Even that tasted as if minerals had been added. Determinedly, she set the glass aside.

  “Is something else bothering you, Angie? You don’t look relieved.”

  “I am. It’s just that Clay didn’t look well.”

  “The argument probably had him as upset as you’ve been the past few days.”

  “I suppose,” Angie drawled, toying with the napkin.

  “Have you heard from Simon?” Glenn’s voice deepened and his eyes grew dark as their gazes locked.

  The question caught Angie off guard. Glenn never brought up the subject of Simon. She knew it took great restraint and self-discipline for him to ignore her feelings for the other man.

  “I phoned him this morning.”

  “You called him?”

  Angie decided to ignore the implication in his voice. “I asked him not to come this weekend.”

  Glenn’s eyes rounded with surprise, and when he spoke there was a quiet tenderness to his voice that touched her heart. “Does this mean that you’re ready to accept my ring, Angie?”

  Niggling doubts assaulted her, and she lowered her head as she wondered what madness had overtaken her even to hesitate. Yes, she was ready, as ready as she would ever be where Glenn was concerned. He represented love, security, and all the things she’d lacked in her life.

  “Glenn … I …”

  “No.” His hold on her fingers tightened. “That was unfair. Forgive me.”

  “Forgive you?” Angie felt a breath away from insanity. The most wonderful man in the world sat across from her and loved her enough to risk everything, placing her happiness above his own.

  “I shouldn’t have asked about Simon.”

  “You have a right.”

  “No.” Slowly, he shook his head, his look thoughtful. “The only rights I have are the ones you give me.”

  Their conversation was interrupted by the waiter, who came for their order. The moment the man left, Glenn took pains to unfold his napkin and place it in his lap. “You realize he’ll come anyway, don’t you?”

  Angie didn’t need to ask whom Glenn was referring to; they both knew. “Yes, I think I do.”

  Almost immediately Glenn changed the subject, and to Angie’s delight he began telling her about his misspent youth in San Francisco. During Glenn’s first year of college, his father had been transferred to Charleston, but through the years Glenn had maintained the childhood friendships he’d made in California. With glee, he relayed several hilarious stories about his high school days and the crowd of young people who were his constant companions. Instantly Angie’s mood lightened. When he told her about his eccentric next-door neighbor, Muffie, she laughed outright.

  “Her honest-to-goodness name was Muffie?”

  “We called her Muffie because we wanted to muffle her mouth.”

  “She sounds wonderful. I’d love to meet her someday.”

  “You will. Some mutual friends of ours are getting married sometime in October. Muffie’s the maid of honor and I’ve been asked to serve as the best man.”

  Angie liked the way he naturally assumed that she would be with him months into the future. He lent her the confidence she wasn’t feeling. “I’ll look forward to that.”

  By the time they left the club, the sun was descending into a cloudless blue horizon. Since they had met at the fitness club, Glenn followed her back to her apartment in his car and accepted her offer to come in for coffee.

  Angie made the pretense of fixing it for him, knowing it wasn’t the coffee that had brought him inside. She filled the brightly colored red kettle with water from the kitchen faucet. A hand at her shoulder stopped her.

  “I didn’t come here for something to drink,” he murmured, turning her into his arms.

  Willingly, Angie yielded. Glenn had held her and touched her often over the past several months. Faintly, she recalled that he was taller than Simon and more muscular. Her heart pounded painfully. Why, oh, why was it when Glenn held her that her thoughts automatically went to Simon? Angry with herself, she looped her arms around Glenn’s neck and fit her body intimately to his.

  Apparently sensing her need, Glenn kissed her so long and so thoroughly that Angie could almost forget there ever had been a Simon in her life. Almost forget, but not quite.

  Angie was struggling over the accounting books Friday afternoon when Donna came to the back of the shop.

  “He’s here again.”

  Angie’s pencil froze as she glanced at the smiling round face of the yellow clock above her desk. Simon was earlier than she had expected. He
must have left Groves Point early in the afternoon, she thought distractedly. Mentally she had prepared herself for this.

  “He asked me to give you this.” Donna set a small white box on top of the desk and returned to the front counter.

  Angie’s heart pounded so loudly her ears hurt with the hammering vibrations. Sluggishly and with extreme caution, as if she were handling something radioactive, Angie picked up the box. He wouldn’t. No, please, no, he wouldn’t. Her fingers were trembling so badly she paused before removing the lid, biting her lip as she did so. The ring. Fleetingly she had wondered how long it would take Simon to play his trump card. The simple gold band with the tiny diamond had cost him far more than the money involved. He had saved for it out of the monthly allotment from his trust fund. Simon had sacrificed to buy her the ring, going without the little things that would have made his life away from home more comfortable. The wedding band had been his Christmas present to her, and he’d made small monthly payments on it long after she had left Groves Point. The day Georgia Canfield had given Angie the money, she had handed his mother the small white box and asked that she return it to Simon. During all these years, Simon had kept the ring.

  “Do you remember the night I gave you the ring?” His low, enticing voice came from behind her.

  “No,” she lied. It was unfair that he do this to her. No woman would forget a night like that. They couldn’t be together Christmas Day because of Simon’s family, so he had come to her late Christmas Eve with the box wrapped and hidden in his jacket pocket.

  Angie had been so delighted that the lump in her throat had prevented her from speaking. Only that lump had been one of intense happiness.

  “Don’t you think it’s time I gave my wife a wedding ring?” Simon had whispered in her ear. His gray eyes had filled with love and adoration as he slipped his class ring from her finger and replaced it with the small diamond. Later they had made love with an aching tenderness that stole her breath away. After so many weeks apart, Angie had assumed their lovemaking would be hot and urgent. Instead, Simon had loved her with a reverence, holding her so close Angie had been convinced that nothing could ever come between them. Not parents, not a whole town, not even God Himself. The beauty of their lovemaking was so profound that tears had shone in her eyes. With his arms wrapped securely around her, Simon had whispered the most beautiful words, his voice hoarse with tenderness. He murmured all the words a woman longs to hear, telling her of the unchanging love represented in that ring. He asked her to wear it proudly as a symbol of his devotion to her.

  Clay had noticed the ring soon after Christmas, gleefully assuming that Angie and Simon were engaged. In her innocent happiness, Angie had told her father about what she and Simon had done that summer in the church. Clay wasn’t pleased, and Angie regretted having said anything.

  “Angie,” Simon spoke again. “You remember, just as I remember that Christmas.”

  “Why did you keep it?” She was amazed that the squeaky, high voice was her own.

  “You forget that for three years I waited for you to come back.”

  “But I didn’t.” She held herself rigid.

  “Yes, you did, only it took longer than three years. You returned to Groves Point, Angie.”

  “You’re forgetting something,” Angie said tightly. Her fingers were clenched fast to the box, and she mentally ordered them to relax before she set it aside. “You’re forgetting Glenn.”

  “I haven’t forgotten anything.” He placed his hand on her shoulder and his touch was like a slow fire that moved toward her heart. “Angie, look at me,” he requested, on a husky murmur.

  Slowly she turned the desk chair around, keeping her eyes focused on the tiled shop floor. Tenderly, Simon lifted her head to look at him and drew her to her feet, taking both her hands in his.

  “I’ve been away for five long days.” He wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her close. “Welcome me back, love. Tell me you missed me as desperately as I missed you.”

  Angie felt like a rag doll, powerless to resist Simon. She didn’t want to kiss him, and yet she knew that nothing on this earth would prevent what was about to happen. Very slowly she slid her hands over his chest and pressed her mouth to his. Immediately Simon deepened the kiss. Simon groaned and leaned against her. Gently, Angie laid her slender fingers over his cheek and her mouth clung to his, moving back and forth in passionate surrender, aroused fully by the wildly erotic kiss.

  Simon stroked her hair, weaving his fingers in and out of its length as his mouth slanted over hers in a lingering kiss that left them both breathless.

  “Oh love.” He half laughed and half groaned on a long, unsteady breath. “That kiss was worth the wait.”

  Angie buried her face in the open throat of his shirt and shivered with delight when he pressed her so close to his hard length that it felt as if their bodies were fused together. “Oh my sweet Angie,” he said, and groaned into her hair. “I’ve gone twelve years without you, and a minute more demands all the restraint I can muster.” There was an unmistakable quaver in his voice.

  Angie was experiencing many of the same sentiments. Knowing that Simon had saved the wedding ring had pushed her over the brink.

  “Please, Simon, this shouldn’t have happened.” It took a great effort to keep her voice steady. “Not here.”

  He lifted her chin and kissed her lightly on the lips. “All right. Your place or mine?” His eyes sparked with mischief.

  She broke from his embrace, fighting the urge to laugh.

  He took her hands in his and leaned back to study her, as if seeing her for the first time. Several electrifying moments passed before either of them spoke.

  “Have dinner with me tonight?”

  “No.” Angie shook her head and lowered her gaze. “I can’t.”

  “ ‘Can’t.’ ” His grip on her fingers tightened painfully. “Is it Lambert?”

  “I asked you not to come this weekend.”

  “You honestly didn’t expect that would keep me away, did you?” He was upset now and struggling not to reveal how much.

  “Glenn knew it wouldn’t … I guess I’d hoped.”

  “What exactly were you hoping?”

  Angie had edged up against the desk so that the sharp rim cut into the back of her thighs. “I wish you hadn’t come.”

  “You couldn’t have proved it by me just now.”

  “We have … a physical thing.” She tried desperately to play down the attraction between them.

  “Is that a fact?” He gave a sad laugh as he said it. “And do you share this attraction with Lambert as well?”

  “Yes,” she lied, her heart throbbing painfully with the deceit.

  Simon stiffened and held his body so tense that Angie was convinced he couldn’t breathe. The battle waging within showed plainly on his face. His eyes narrowed, and one side of his mouth twitched. He didn’t want to believe her, and at the same moment didn’t know if he dared not.

  “I see,” he spoke at last.

  Angie’s legs felt as if they were water, and she leaned her weight against the desk, praying it would keep her upright until she’d finished. “You asked me to make my decision,” she began, in a voice that trembled so hard she wondered if Simon could understand her.

  “You promised not to until I was here.”

  “You’re here now.” She gestured weakly with her hand. “You will always be someone special in my life. You were my first love, and for a lot of years I didn’t think I could ever love again. Glenn taught me that I could.”

  “Angie—”

  “No,” she cried desperately. “Let me say what I have to, otherwise I may not have the courage to do it and the whole thing will drag out the agony.”

  Simon’s eyes were hard. His jaw was clenched so tight that his face went white. Slowly, as if he couldn’t bear to look at her for another minute, Simon closed his eyes.

  “Things would never work for us, Simon. I’ve thought it all out. Tha
t you could still love me is the greatest honor of my life. In the years to come I will always remember you with a fondness—”

  “Fondness.” His control snapped. “Save that weak, insipid emotion for your precious Glenn.”

  Her heart slammed against her chest at the pain she was inflicting upon them both. Her eyes ached with unshed tears, and she bowed her head, unable to look at him. “Simon, I’m so sorry …” she whispered, and nearly choked. “So sorry.”

  Angie wasn’t sure what she’d expected. Her thought was that he would try to inflict the same kind of pain on her with bitter words or cruel accusations. The last thing she had thought he would do was laugh. Admittedly, the chuckle was mirthless and devoid of amusement, but it caught her by surprise, and she raised her eyes to his.

  “I let you walk out of my life once and I’m not about to make that mistake again,” he taunted.

  “Simon—”

  “You’ve had your say, now listen to me. More than anything that’s happened in the past couple of weeks, you just proved how much you do love me.”

  “That kiss was—”

  “Not the kiss, Angie, but your reaction to it. It scared you. You couldn’t possibly love another man as much as you do me. I don’t believe it’s in you to marry a man you love less.”

  “I’ll learn,” she cried.

  Simon was gambling and knew it. He struggled not to reveal his fear. “I know you. In some ways better than you know yourself. You wouldn’t cheat Glenn by marrying him when you feel this strongly for me. And you do love me, Angie, so much it’s nearly killing you.”

  “It won’t work with us. Can’t you accept that?”

  “We’ll make it work,” he argued. “Go on—run away, marry Glenn if you think you can, salvage your father’s pride, but my love will haunt you. There won’t be a minute of any day that I won’t be on your mind and in your heart. I’ll be waiting for you, Angie, in Groves Point, where you belong, where we belong.”