Don't Let Go

by Andrew Grey

  “What’s that?” Zeke asked, and Robert closed the distance between them, hands cradling his cheeks, and kissed the life out of him.

  A shot rang out, sharp, echoing in the valley. Samson whinnied and kicked, banging the walls of his stall. “I told you fuckers to get the hell off my property!” Then a few seconds later: “Sheriff, I want them arrested for trespassing. This is my land and private property, not some dog and pony show.”

  “Jesus,” Zeke whispered and stepped back, blinking and trying to get his head around the situation outside, though he’d rather stay where he was and let the rest of the world be damned.

  “You better get out there before your dad kills someone,” Robert said softly.

  “Yeah. Stay in here and out of sight.”

  “I’ll calm the horses and make sure they stay that way. Just don’t give the reporters anything and don’t talk to them. I’ll call my people and see if I can get some help with this.” Robert went to Samson, talking to him softly, and Zeke slipped out of the barn door to join his father, who was talking to the sheriff, without his gun.

  “Sheriff,” Zeke said with as much energy as he could muster.

  “Zeke.” The sheriff smiled. Larry and Zeke had been in high school together, Larry a few years ahead of him, but they’d been friends. “Looks like you got yourself a bit of a ruckus out here.” He pointed to the newspeople parked just down the road. “From what I hear, you’re hiding a celebrity on the property.” Larry grinned, and Zeke half expected him to go into his best fangirl imitation.

  “Looks that way.”

  Larry took a single step closer. “How did that happen?”

  Zeke turned to his dad. “He hired him in town. Look, Avery doesn’t want to be disturbed. He’s working right now, and that’s why he came here. The guy wanted to get some peace and quiet, and I know you know how to help with that. There are enough famous people who live out here.”

  Larry nodded. “True, but usually not ones who just up and disappear. Don’t you read the news? The entertainment folks have been whipped up into a frenzy. Katlyn has been following the story. There have been suspicions of foul play and all kinds of stuff.” He grinned. “Do you think he’d sign something… for Katlyn?”

  Zeke sighed softly for Robert. “Leave it here and I’ll ask him to sign it for you. The guy is trying to get in touch with who he is.” God, Zeke could understand that so damn much. “He wants to write some new songs and he says he is. So get them to leave him alone.” Or Robert is going to leave. Zeke felt it in his bones, and he didn’t want that to happen. He and Robert enjoyed each other’s company, but Zeke had no illusions that their relationship could continue once Robert had to go back to being Avery Rivers.

  “Thanks. And I’ll see what I can do to get these folks moving along.” Larry handed Zeke a sheet of paper and strode out to where the reporters were standing together, talking and delivering reports from their trucks with satellite dishes on the top.

  Whatever Larry did worked, because one by one they got inside and pulled away.

  “Magic Touch Larry?” Zeke asked when he returned.

  “No, I told them that Mr. Rivers wasn’t going to speak with them, and neither was anyone else here. I also reminded them that the road has a very narrow shoulder and that if they parked there for any length of time, I’d have to cite them for obstructing the road.” Not that there was traffic often, but Larry had plenty of discretion and it seemed he wasn’t afraid to use it.

  “Are they gone?” Robert asked as he came out of the barn.

  Larry nodded, then strode over to shake Robert’s hand and asked for his autograph. He grinned from ear to ear as he got back into his bigass SUV. “Call if they give you any more trouble. I’ll do what I can.” He waved and pulled out of the drive.

  Samuel watched the sheriff leave and then turned back to both of them. “I think that’s enough fucking excitement for one day.” He walked back toward the house, picked up his gun off the porch, and went inside.

  “Man, your dad is something else,” Robert said as he watched him go. “I didn’t think guys like him still existed.” He turned toward Zeke. “You know this is only the beginning, though.” His shoulders drooped a little and his eyes seemed to lose some of their shine. “They’ll be back, and next time there will be more of them. During the tour, there had to have been dozens of trucks and teams at every stop. They tried to talk to me, to my people, the roadies, the crew—anyone they could get their hands on. In six months we fired eight people for talking to the press about shit.” Robert started toward his cabin. “It’s never going to stop, and now I’ve brought the whole mess down on you and Samuel.”

  “If you think we’re going to run from anything, you’re crazy. This is our ranch, and no one is getting on it without permission. You just saw that Dad isn’t giving any ground.” Zeke saw Robert nod, but knew he wasn’t buying it.

  “The horses are all good, but they need to be exercised. I took Samson out on a lead and walked him around for a while. He seemed happy and is doing better as long as no one shoots a gun near him again.”

  “Then let’s go. There’s no better cure for a bunch of crap then some time in the saddle, away from everything.” Zeke headed to the barn and saddled Maisey, letting Robert decide if he wanted to come along. Robert saddled Colton, and soon they were heading out.

  Zeke let Robert lead the way, watching him. It took a while, but eventually Robert’s body relaxed in the saddle and he didn’t seem strung nearly as tightly. “Do you want to go to the creek?” Zeke asked, pointing to indicate the direction.

  Robert shrugged and turned that way anyway. Clearly he wasn’t giving much thought to where he was going. When they made the creek, Zeke dismounted and waited for Robert to do the same. He sat in the shade, watching as Robert fussed with Colton, like he wasn’t sure what he should be doing.

  “What’s gotten into you?” Zeke asked. “Come sit down and relax. No one is going to come rushing out here to find you. First thing, they’d have to get past Dad and his shotgun, and second, the sheriff would be out here fast… just to get another autograph.” He meant it to be funny and break the tension, but it didn’t work.

  Robert eventually finished and sat down, pulling his knees up and curling his arms around them. It was clear as day that Robert was still on edge and wasn’t letting it go. Maybe he couldn’t.

  The water lapped over the rocks in the stream and locusts chirped, cicadas singing in the trees, as they sat still. Zeke looked ahead, then at Robert, then the horses, fidgeting nervously. “Talk to me,” he finally prompted, unable to keep quiet as Robert swayed slightly from side to side.

  “You want me to have answers that I don’t have.” Robert turned to him.

  “Projecting a little?” Zeke raised his eyebrows. “I think you expect yourself to have the answers. Fuck knows I sure don’t.” He watched the flowing water. “I thought I knew what I wanted.” Zeke figured if he shared, he might get Robert to as well. “I rode my first bull at twelve years old. My mom about had a heart attack and nearly killed my dad for letting me do it. Not that I gave him much choice. He threw me in two seconds, and then I got right back on and did it again. Damn old thing didn’t throw me a second time.” Zeke chuckled at the memory. “I was fearless and wanted to be champion of the world. Dad took me to the PBR finals the year before mama died, and I knew that was what I wanted, to stand on that stage, holding that trophy and buckle over my head. I could see it. I used to dream it.” Zeke turned toward Robert. “I could hear the deafening roar of the crowd as I won.” He smiled. “That was all I wanted.”

  “And did you get it?”

  “Not yet. As far as points, I’m a contender. I jumped way up in the standings after Cheyenne, and I have another rodeo in a few weeks that I should be training for, but I need to get my head where it belongs.” Zeke let his smile slip away. “I keep wondering if my next ride will be like Carson’s.”

  Robert scooted closer, taking his hand.
“You can’t do that. I didn’t know it was you, but I remember those rides. They were stunning. Most of the other men looked like they were hanging on for dear life, and you… you were part of the bull, like a song… music on the back of a bull.”

  “That’s a fucking new one.” Zeke chuckled because that seemed so foreign to him.

  “Everything has a rhythm.” Robert squeezed his hands. “Close your eyes and just listen. The cicadas and crickets are the strings, and the brook is the melody, flowing over the rocks. The frogs are percussion, and the air is the winds. They all play, but when they come together….”

  Zeke closed his eyes and tried to hear it, but it seemed to go over his head. When he opened his eyes, Robert’s were still closed and he swayed softly, humming just under his breath. He wished he could hear what Robert did, if only for a few seconds.

  “You and those bulls made music together. So think on that rather than what could happen. As Mama Cass sang in the sixties, ‘Make Your Own Kind of Music.’”

  “What do I do if… if no one else hears it?” Zeke whispered.

  “All you need is for one other person,” Robert said softly and closed the distance between them. “Just that one person who understands your own personal song.”

  Those words sent a ripple through Zeke. No one had ever truly been able to explain the relationship and the way he felt about the bulls he rode. They were his competition, but also his partners. He couldn’t work without them. Thinking of the bull as his nemesis had never been his style. But Robert got it… in his own words. When he was in tune with the bull, beautiful things happened.

  “I like to think that I might have found him.” Those few words took more courage to say than he ever needed to climb on a ton of raw, rank muscle.

  Zeke closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Robert’s neck, sliding their lips together. He didn’t want to talk anymore. That “earth opening up” feeling felt too damn close. He needed something more solid than his own emotions; rock-solid Robert was with him now. So he clung to him with everything he had, pressing him back against the ground. He didn’t think about where they were or the ground around them. All he knew was that he needed Robert and wasn’t going to let anything stop him.

  “You’re going to leave my clothes in pieces if you keep that up,” Robert chided gently, and stilled Zeke’s hands as he got a little frenzied in his desire for Robert’s skin against his. Robert rolled him on the ground, slid a leg between his, and Zeke thrust his hips. Robert soothed his hands over Zeke’s cheeks and kissed him as he popped open the buttons on his shirt, sliding his lips and tongue down his neck. Zeke stretched to give Robert full access and groaned as his hot, wet tongue slid down the center of his chest, licking lightly as Robert exposed more and more skin.

  Zeke’s shirt parted, and Robert moved down him, sucking lightly around his belly button, sending heated ripples racing through him. “Robert….”

  “I know. I don’t have anything….” Robert sounded as desperate and on the edge as Zeke. Within seconds he was going to fly apart.

  “Pocket.” Zeke reached and pulled out a packet. He’d learned to come prepared.

  Robert grabbed at it, backing away and opening Zeke’s pants. “Roll over, sweetheart,” Robert whispered, and Zeke got on his hands and knees as Robert tugged his pants away. “Gonna be fast.”

  “Need it,” Zeke gritted between his teeth as Robert’s belt jangled. Zeke had never been so grateful for a lubed condom and his ability to relax until Robert slowly pressed into him. Zeke shook as his body opened up, the burn racing through him, welling and building before morphing into deep satisfaction that touched his soul.

  Zeke’s loud groan weaved through the trees, announcing his pleasure to the music-making creatures, who all stopped to listen.

  Robert lay over him, his arms winding around Zeke’s chest, pulling him upward. “You’re incredible. Do you know that?” They kissed sloppily as Robert snapped his hips. Zeke’s eyes crossed as Robert moved more quickly, going deep enough into his body to touch his very essence.

  “I like to think so,” Zeke quipped.

  Robert faltered for words, but not in action, and Zeke moaned again.

  “That’s it, sweetheart. Let me know how you feel. Don’t hold back.” Robert slipped his arms around him more tightly as they moved together, rocking back and forth as Robert slowly drove him to the very gates of heaven. Robert slid his hand down Zeke’s belly and over his cock, gripping him firmly, stroking slowly, then faster in time with his movements.

  Zeke was going out of his mind. It was hard to concentrate on anything around him. Robert commanded all his attention and became the center of his being. Zeke pressed back against him, rocking, moaning, letting everything center on Robert until he could take it no longer. Heat and pressure built at the base of his spine, rising quickly, and Zeke was powerless to do anything to stop it. He wanted this joy to last forever. Robert made him want to stop the world, but that wasn’t possible, though his ability to set Zeke’s world on fire seemed limitless. Zeke let the ecstasy wash over him, his pleasure peaking as his release barreled uncontrollably into him.

  He didn’t think or move. All around him everything was white, then dark when he shut his eyes, his world light and perfect. The feeling didn’t last nearly long enough, and soon the crickets and the gurgle of the stream intruded, their gentle sounds seeming harsh for a second compared to the perfect tranquility of his head.

  “Did I hurt you?” Robert asked as he gentled his caress over Zeke’s damp skin.

  “Oh God, no.” Zeke smiled and turned slightly to kiss Robert. “I’m not made of glass.”

  “No,” Robert breathed as he pulled back a bit, their bodies separating with a mutual, harmonic moan. “You’re definitely not made of glass.” He kissed him hard. Robert quivered, and Zeke turned around. Robert held him, and they lay on the grass, wrapped in each other, letting the quiet of the open range settle around them. “I wish it could always be like this.”

  “It can be,” Zeke offered.

  Robert shook his head. “I don’t think so.” He didn’t move, but tension crept back into his body. “This is the quiet before the storm. I can feel it.” Robert stroked his belly and locked their gazes.

  Zeke wondered what else was going on behind Robert’s eyes, but he didn’t ask. His lips drew closer and he kissed him yet again. Then Robert closed his eyes, resting his head on Zeke’s shoulder without moving for a long time. If Robert was right and this kind of contentment was fleeting, then Zeke was going to do everything he could to make it last.

  Chapter 7

  TO ROBERT’S surprise, the next two days were incredibly quiet. He didn’t leave the ranch, and the news media stayed away. He was just about ready to hope that everyone intended to leave him alone.

  An annoying vibration woke him out of a sound sleep, though, and he blinked and opened his eyes. No light shone in the windows, so it had to be very early. Robert rolled onto his side and slapped at his phone. “Yeah,” he groused, too tired to be polite.

  “Are you awake?” Glenn asked. “Have you seen the morning shows?” Glenn seemed so energetic compared to him.

  “It’s….” Robert checked the phone display as Zeke rolled onto his side, probably getting away from the light. Robert slowly got out of the bed and went to the other room so he didn’t disturb Zeke. “God, Glenn, it’s five thirty.” Granted, they usually got up early, but they also had a full day of work ahead of them. “What’s so important?”

  “There’s video on YouTube of an older guy kicking reporters off his land with a shotgun, mixed with pictures of you. None of the reports are particularly flattering, but one guy went way beyond.” Glenn inhaled deeply. “The address and directions to where you’re staying are all over the internet. We believe the pissed-off reporter put it out there, but it’s hard to track down the original source.”

  “Shit….” His heart pumping faster, Robert went to the window and peered out, h
alf expecting a mob of people crowding the ranch yard. He didn’t see anyone. “You’ve got to put a stop to this.”

  Glenn huffed. “What am I supposed to do? The word is out as to where you are, so you have to get the hell out of there.”

  Robert knew that was true, but he wasn’t ready to go yet. “I like it here, Glenn. They’re good people, and they like me for me.” Zeke sure seemed to, and as Robert peered into the bedroom, he saw Zeke asleep on his back, eyes closed, covers resting over his belly. A lump the size of a grapefruit formed in his throat. He knew what he needed to do, but damn it all, it hurt.

  “You have to leave, for their sakes.”

  “Glenn…,” Robert whispered, because it was the only volume he had at the moment. “I’m happy here. Truly happy.”

  Glenn groaned. “Fucking hell. Did you fall in love?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “That’s great. So, the old guy has a daughter. Is she hot?”

  “No. He has a son,” Robert said and waited. He could almost hear Glenn’s mind clicking.

  “I see…,” Glenn said. “So….” He paused. “How do you want to handle this?”

  Robert was so relieved he’d asked. “You aren’t upset or going to tell me that I’m going to lose all my fans or something?”

  “Willie Meadows has been out for a while, and it hasn’t hurt him a bit.” Glenn seemed to be taking this whole gay thing in stride. “Barry may have a completely different opinion, but to tell you the truth, it explains a lot.”