Don't Let Go

by Andrew Grey

  His father turned to walk away and then stopped. “That’s a load of horseshit. You ride like each time is a chore, and I know you resent the hell out of me because you had to go back to rodeo. Not that you probably wouldn’t have done it on your own. I know I took your choice away from you and you’ve pretty much let me off the hook for it.”

  “Maybe.” Zeke’s resentment bubbled up, but he bit his tongue to not fucking yell even though he was seconds away from it. Not that an outburst was going to do either of them a damned bit of good.

  His dad shook his head. “No maybe about it, boy. I know how you feel. I didn’t raise you from diapers and not know who you are. You hate having your decisions made for you, and you hate that I took your choice away. Well, today I gave it back. That horse sold for enough to almost pay off the note. I already got their money, and I’ll take it to the bank tomorrow. So do whatever you want to do. If that’s ride bulls until you’re eighty, then do that. If you want to come back here and sit on your ass while the world passes you by, then fucking do that. But stop having to blame me for your choices and do what makes you happy.” He turned and strode across the yard and went inside, slamming the door behind him.

  Sometimes Zeke knew there was no way in hell he was ever going to understand his dad. Just when he thought he had him figured out, Dad went ahead and did something like this. Zeke knew his dad was proud as hell of that horse and hated to let him go, but he had. He’d given him up for Zeke. And Zeke was angry at his father for doing it. Not that he understood why, for the life of him. He should be happy. The debt was settled and he had his freedom back.

  He needed to clear his head and ended up walking through some of the fields to burn off frustration. Returning, Zeke went back in the barn and kicked a water bucket the length of the place, the plastic rattling and banging as it bounced off the walls and came to a stop at the far end. “Shit.”

  “What did that bucket ever do to you?”

  Zeke turned as Robert walked into the barn, mostly in shadow, the last of the sunlight streaming in behind him. “Robert. I thought you’d be a while.”

  “I fibbed a little to your dad. I wanted to surprise you.” Robert stood still, and Zeke took a deep breath before walking right into Robert’s arms.

  “How long can you stay this time?” Zeke really hated the leaving. A day here and a day there wasn’t cutting it, but he didn’t want to tell Robert. His heart leaped each and every time he saw him, and crashed back to earth whenever Robert had to leave again. Not that it was all Robert’s fault, but that didn’t make it any less painful.

  “That depends….” Robert squeezed him tighter. “I have something to show you.” Robert tilted his head upward, kissing Zeke hard, demanding his full attention, and Zeke gave it, melting into his embrace and the taste of him.

  “Was that it?” Zeke asked. “Because I could use about a million more of those surprises.” He kissed him again, and Zeke wound his fingers into Robert’s longer hair, which was just starting to curl.

  “I have something I really want to show you.” Robert took his hand and guided him out of the barn to where a limousine waited in the drive. The driver held the door, and Robert waited for Zeke to climb in.

  “A limousine? What’s going on?” Zeke was a little nervous, glancing at Robert for some sort of clue as to what this was all about.

  “Patience,” Robert told him, getting in and closing the door behind him. The driver turned the car around and started down the drive.

  “That’s not one of the things I’m known for.” Zeke sat back, watching out the window for a few seconds and then turning to Robert. “What’s happening? Why are you really here?”

  Robert slid across the black leather seat. “Everything will be explained. I promise you that. I did finish recording, and the studio is mixing the sound and developing the proofs that we’ll all listen to before giving it our seal of approval. It will release in time for Christmas, and then I’ll have to go on tour after the first of the year. I have a few special concerts and things between now and then, but no huge tours.” Robert sighed and seemed to relax. “I’ve been waiting to come back here. It’s what’s kept me going for the past month. This place… you….”

  Zeke leaned against him. “Dad sold Midnight Rendezvous.” He looked up into his eyes. “The transporters took him a few hours ago. I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.”

  Robert nodded and turned away, probably so Zeke couldn’t see the hurt in his eyes. “I hated that I lost my horse when the bank took the ranch, but looking back, I was more upset about losing my home. The horse was the thing I was able to latch onto when I was a child.”

  Zeke didn’t want to admit that his dad selling Midnight Rendezvous felt like he was a failure in a way. If he’d been able to make more money, he could have paid off that damn loan and there wouldn’t have been a need.

  The car turned, and Zeke’s attention pulled to the windows. “Where are we? This looks like the Sullivan place. Dad said it was sold.” He turned back to Robert, who was already opening the door.

  “It was.” Robert stepped out, and Zeke followed him. “I decided I wanted a home, and the ranch, your ranch, felt like home.” Robert slipped his arm around Zeke’s waist. “Part of that was because of you.”

  Zeke leaned against Robert, content and warm from the inside.

  “You feel like home to me.”

  “So you bought this ranch?” Zeke asked, finally understanding what Robert was trying to tell him.

  “Yes. The house is in pretty bad shape, but the barns and outbuildings are good. I think I’m going to remodel the current house out of existence and build something new, low to the ground, earthy. I want to construct a recording studio so I can work from here and bring people in rather than having to go to them all the time. I thought we could turn one of the outbuildings into a training center for you—”

  “Me?” Zeke asked.

  “Yes. I know your dad is just up the road and that’s your home, but once we rework the house, I was hoping you’d come here to live with me, start a herd of our own, maybe get some rough stock for you to train and work with. Whatever you want. We could have horses and raise and breed them if we want. The barn is big enough.” Robert walked in that direction and pulled open the door. He stood off to the side, and Zeke stepped in, then stopped as a familiar black head poked out of the first stall.

  “You?” Zeke stepped forward to stroke Midnight’s nose. “You were the buyer?”

  “Yeah. I know things were hard for you and your dad, and you said he was thinking of selling him. I couldn’t bear to let him go with someone else, so I had Glenn make an offer for him through some people I know. I figured your dad would balk if he knew the offer was coming from me. He’d think it was charity and wouldn’t want to take my offer.” Robert turned and gently placed his hands on Zeke’s cheeks. “I didn’t want to hurt your dad’s pride… or yours, for that matter.”

  Zeke swallowed hard. “You did this… all of this… for me?”

  “For us. I want to be with you. Every minute I was away was torture. I’m happy here. I love the land and openness. I love this place and the people in it.” Robert stepped closer. “Mostly I love you.”

  “You do?” Zeke asked, his chest aching.

  “Yes. I love going riding with you and making love out by the creek. I hate being back in that house in Nashville that everyone else thinks should be my home, but never felt like anything but a huge hotel room. Thank God it’s sold and gone now. I want to go to sleep out here where I can lie next to you and hear the cattle lowing and the crickets chirping, rather than cars and horns. I want to make love in our room and our bed. I’ll limit the time I’m on tour and record here so I don’t have to go away nearly as often. I’ll….”

  Zeke heard the near pleading in Robert’s voice, and it made his heart ache. “I want that too. But you don’t have to stop being you for me. I know you have to travel, just like I do if I want to rodeo. It’s
part of the life we’ve chosen. As long as you come back here, to me… that’s all I ask.” He closed the distance between them and kissed Robert as hard as he could, pulling them together. “There isn’t a bed in the house by chance?”

  Robert chuckled. “Not yet. I already have people on the job to help make the changes I want. They’ll have plans for our consideration in a few days. That is, if you say yes.”

  Zeke colored. He hadn’t even realized he hadn’t answered. “Yes. I want to make a home with you and build a life here. I have just one question. Do you really think we can make this work?”

  Robert smiled and kissed him again, this time more gently. “Making things work is pretty simple for us. Just don’t let go.”

  Epilogue

  ROBERT STOOD off to the side of the chute, close enough to smell the bull inside. He crinkled his nose a little, though he had largely gotten used to the scent, thanks to the bulls Zeke had brought to the Z&R Ranch. Still, this bull was particularly rank, in every sense of the word. He banged the sides of the chute, and Zeke held above him for a few seconds before settling down on the bull. Robert bit his lower lip and held his breath, turning toward the arena in Las Vegas, waiting for the chute to open on Zeke’s final ride.

  He turned back and met Zeke’s eyes for a second. “Don’t let go,” he said, and Zeke nodded.

  The chute burst open, and the bull leaped like he’d damn near sprouted wings, then landed heavily. Instantly, as Robert watched, a song, Zeke’s song, played in his head, growing louder and more forceful with each twist and turn the bull made. Robert stared at the clock, letting the music play in his head as he willed the timer to run faster. Who would ever have thought that eight seconds could last so damn long?

  The buzzer finally sounded and Zeke released his grip and flew free before landing on his feet and racing for the boards. He climbed up, waving his hat to the fans.

  “Let’s hear it for Hy Whitely!” the announcer boomed through the entire arena. “That was one whale of a ride, and the score reflects it: 89.16! Let’s show some appreciation to the new PBR World Champion!”

  A tingle raced up Robert’s back and goose bumps burst on his arm. Zeke had done it! His last ride had been his best, and what a way to go out.

  Zeke strode out into the center of the arena, waving his hat over his head as the crowd went wild. Those waves of sound barely permeated Robert’s head. All he saw was Zeke, his Zeke, the man he loved, at the very pinnacle of his career.

  “Folks, I’ve just been handed a note. Today was Hy Whitely’s last and final ride. He’s hanging up his bull rope and taking up the role of full-time rancher. Show him some love, and let’s wish him all the luck in the world!”

  The roar grew more deafening, everyone on their feet as the buckle was presented, and Zeke held it over his head, giving everyone a chance to look. Flashes went off everywhere, but Robert kept his gaze on Zeke. Nothing else came close to drawing his attention.

  Zeke raced over to where he stood, bounded up into the boards, and perched on top. The two of them shared a look, and Robert smiled his biggest, best smile for the man who owned his heart. “I’m so damned proud of you.” Tears rolled down his face, and Zeke reached out to wipe them away for him.

  Then Zeke climbed down and took his place on the podium that had been set up in the center of the arena. A microphone was pushed into his hand.

  “Six months ago I lost my traveling partner, Carson Daltry. He passed away after a ride in Cheyenne. His last words to me were to go back and win the buckle for him. Well, Carson, I did it. I won the whole damned thing, and this is for you!” He handed back the microphone and held the championship buckle over his head again.

  Robert added his own applause to the roar of the crowd as Zeke slowly turned so everyone could see, basking in his victory. Eventually, as the roar died down, he jumped off the podium and walked to the side, then emerged from the arena floor to stand near Robert.

  “Are you sad that it’s over?” Robert asked.

  Zeke shook his head. “It was time, and I have so much to go home to.”

  Fans crowded around, and Robert stepped back as Zeke put his belt over his shoulder and began signing autographs for the kids. He wasn’t noticed in all the excitement, and that was perfect. This was Zeke’s victory, his moment, and Robert was happy to be anonymous for a little while.

  ZEKE FOUND his seat in the front row, reserved for him next to the other riders. He turned to look farther back to try to see Robert, but the theater was too large. The competition was over, and now it was time for a little fun. He got comfortable, and after a few minutes, the lights dimmed in the theater at the MGM Grand Hotel and the emcee for the evening walked onstage, dressed in a black tuxedo.

  “We’d like to welcome each and every one of you to the PBR Rodeo after-party. We’ve had some amazing rides this week, given out awards, crowned a new world champion, and now it’s time for all of you to relax and enjoy some entertainment.” The emcee came to the very front of the stage. “Riders, why don’t you stand so the people can see you. Folks, give ’em a round of applause.”

  They did, and the assembled crowd clapped, hooted, and whistled. Zeke waved and wished he had his hat with him. But he hadn’t figured it would be polite to the people in the next row.

  “Thank you all!” the emcee said, and everyone took their seats once again. “We are very happy and proud to present something very special for you this year.” He lowered his voice as though he were sharing a secret. “You see, we have a surprise for you all. To start out the program this evening, we have none other than the one and only Avery Rivers!”

  Zeke applauded and stood, as did everyone else in the theater. This was as big a surprise to him as it was to everyone else. Robert really loved his surprises, and Zeke wondered just what he had in store.

  Robert walked out from the wings with just his guitar. “Thank you all so much for allowing me to be here with you tonight.” He sat on a stool that a stagehand had placed in the center of the stage, a microphone low to pick up the guitar. “I’m sorry I wasn’t on your program, but the organizers of this huge and amazing event agreed to let me come out here to sing for you all.” Everyone applauded, and Robert waited a moment for it to quiet down and then strummed his guitar. “I’m going to sing a new song for you all. It was written for someone very special and is going to be released in the next few days.”

  Robert looked down, and Zeke caught his gaze, smiling up at the person who had become the very center of his life in a few short months.

  “The person this was written for hasn’t heard the song yet, but he will because he’s here tonight.” Robert smiled as the crowd cheered, and Zeke watched him closely as another stool was brought onstage. “I’d like to ask your world champion, Hy Whitely, to join me here onstage.”

  Then Zeke was on his feet, making his way up before he even realized he was actually moving. He climbed onto the stage and sat on the extra stool.

  “I wrote this song this summer when I met Hy at his family’s ranch. He was practicing on the mechanical bull, and I was blocked, but watching him set music playing in my head. As I said, he hasn’t ever heard the finished song, so I thought I’d sing it for him and all of you tonight.”

  Robert strummed the guitar, playing the chords and then singing, “Don’t let go, no matter what, no matter how, just don’t let go.” Robert sang in that resonant voice of his, turned toward him. Zeke forgot all about the audience and thousands of people sitting just beyond the lights. This was Robert singing to him, singing his song. The words spoke of their parting and then coming back together. It touched his heart and worked its way down to his soul.

  “When things get tough, what do we do? Just don’t let go.” Robert’s voice faded and the tones on the guitar died away. The entire space was quiet for three seconds and then erupted into applause. Robert smiled and nodded, then turned to him.

  Zeke stood to get ready to leave, not sure he could get his footing, but Rob
ert went down on one knee. The audience grew silent. Zeke swore he could have heard a pin drop. Thousands of people as quiet as mice.

  “Those were the words we used to try to tell each other what we’d do when our lives pulled us apart. I had record deals and concerts to do—you had rodeos to ride and bulls to conquer. You’ve conquered your bulls, and we’re building a home together. So, I was wondering if you’d like to make it official.” Robert pulled a small box out of his pocket and opened it slowly. “Marry me?”

  A gasp went up from a few people in the audience, but Zeke ignored everything but the warmth in Robert’s eyes and the tenderness in his words. “Yes,” Zeke squeaked out, and Robert slipped the diamond-studded band onto his finger. Then he stood, and Zeke wasn’t sure what he should do.

  Robert had no compunction, pulling them together and kissing him with enough heat that the stage might have caught fire. Flashes went off everywhere, and Zeke held still, lost in Robert’s eyes. After a few seconds, the roar of the audience invaded the bubble of contentment.

  Robert picked up his guitar, took his hand, and together they left the stage. As soon as they were out of the spotlight, Zeke looked down at his ring, and Robert placed another box in his hand. Zeke opened it and slid an identical ring onto Robert’s finger.

  “Are you ready to go?”

  Zeke nodded. “I’m ready to be home.” The rest they’d figure out together.

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