High Lonesome

by Coverstone, Stacey

  ****

  They had ridden deep into the mountains on unmarked trails and were now walking the horses through a narrow canyon filled with fragrant wildflowers of all hues. They talked some, but mostly enjoyed the simple pleasure of each other’s company and the company of their animals. Beth found it difficult to speak. Peace and tranquility washed over her, and exhilaration coursed through her as she experienced nature in its most primitive state.

  Scott reined Pepper to the left, onto a path less traveled. “This was an Indian thoroughfare a thousand years ago. We’ve discovered shards of pottery along these trails.”

  Off in the distance, the chattering of jays brought a smile to her face. “I can almost feel the ancient spirits riding alongside us,” she said reverently.

  “I often sense a power bordering on the paranormal when I’m up here.” He leaned back and rode with his right hand resting on Pepper’s rump. Both mounts walked with the confidence of animals that had been on the trails hundreds of times. They grabbed at leaves from low-hanging branches every once in awhile. The sounds of their munching and the thumps of their hooves, along with the chirps of insects and the scurrying feet of small animals, all combined to form a beautiful musical symphony.

  “Do you bring Willow out on the trails?” she asked.

  “Sometimes, but she doesn’t appreciate the quiet like grownups do. She wants to go fast all the time.”

  Beth chuckled and shook her head. “I still can’t get over that little girl racing a horse around poles. I’m sure I wasn’t that gutsy when I was her age.”

  “You seem very brave to me. What you’re going through—being hurt and stranded in the desert, losing your memory, and now trusting me to take care of you—that takes courage just to get through every hour of the day.”

  “You’re easy to trust,” she replied. When she locked onto his brilliant blue eyes and felt herself drowning in them, she thought she might fall out of the saddle. Trying to armor herself against the pull of his charm was of no use. The ache she felt in her chest at remembering he was another woman’s man turned to a deep, agonizing burn. She focused on the trail ahead and began asking him safe questions. “When did you begin teaching Willow about horses?”

  “My child was literally born to ride. She was on a horse before she was even out of her mother’s womb. Maggie was helping a neighbor track a lost calf two weeks before she delivered.”

  “That’s amazing. Maggie must have been quite a woman.”

  “She was. Most of us around here grew up with the notion that we could do anything we set our minds to. That’s the way New Mexicans are. My friends all lived on ranches and we were raised with animals. We were all in 4-H and competed in local rodeos. Everyone rode horses before we could walk.”

  “What about Doctor Coleman?” There was no sense in sidestepping the white elephant between them. “Does she ride with you?”

  Scott’s voice was measured, but he didn’t seem to mind the question. “No, she doesn’t. Jo was a townie. She never liked to get her hands dirty, and she still doesn’t. I guess that’s why she became an M.D. and not a surgeon. She’s kind of prissy.” He flashed Beth a lopsided grin. “That’s the way I’ve always seen her anyway. Confident and secure in her career, but prissy when it comes to real life.”

  “How do you see me?” Beth blurted.

  Scott commanded his horse to whoa, and when Pepper stopped on a dime, Sundance followed suit. The reins slipped out of Beth’s hand as the animal lowered his head and began yanking weeds from the ground. Scott twisted in his saddle and rested his hand over the horn. He stared at Beth with such intensity she felt her face flame.

  He took his time before answering, as if he were considering his words very carefully. When he answered, heat radiated from his eyes. “I see you as the kind of woman a man would ride to the ends of the earth for.”

  Heat skated up her neck as his gaze settled on her like a soft, downy blanket. Her heart pounded with an insane rhythm. It had been an emotional couple of days. The passion in his gaze, and the absolute purity of his heartfelt words sent her reeling. “That is the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” she finally managed to say.

  He ran a hand across his five o’clock shadow. In a bad John Wayne impersonation, he drawled, “Begging your pardon ma’am, but how would you know that’s the nicest thing that’s ever been said to you?”

  When she realized he was teasing again, this time about the amnesia, she grinned and began to laugh. “You got me there, Scott.” If she could have reached over and grabbed his hand without slipping out of the saddle, she would have. “You know, I appreciate the way you keep things light-hearted. Your sense of humor sets me at ease. You keep me from worrying too much about what’s going to happen to me. Or what already happened.”

  “Life is too short to worry or take things too serious,” he replied.”With that said, however, I want you to know that I don’t always joke around. For instance, when you just asked me how I see you, my reaction was honest. I meant what I said.”

  Their gazes fastened again, and thoughts of Joanna nagged at Beth.

  Pepper’s ears flopped back just as a tremendous clap of thunder rumbled through the mountains. It sounded like a locomotive steaming down the track at full speed. Sundance tossed his head and began to prance. Scott urged Pepper forward so he could pick up the reins that had slipped from Beth’s hands. Grasping the saddle horn with his left hand, he leaned and reached down to get them, and then placed the reins in her fist and instructed her to pull back gently if the horse became unruly.

  Although a novice, Beth surprised herself by taking control of the gelding. The horse’s antsy behavior didn’t frighten her.

  “Storm is comin’,” Scott announced. He peered into the darkening sky. “Rain storms are fast and furious when they strike up here in the mountains. We’re gonna get soaked if we don’t get to shelter in a hurry. We’re not far from a cave. Do you feel comfortable trotting on that horse?”

  She nodded. Seemed she had no choice, anyway.

  “Kick him hard in the sides with your boot heels and keep your balance. You’ll be fine.”

  They urged their horses into a jolting trot down the narrow trail, maneuvering their way through sticky brush and downed tree limbs. Another boom of thunder followed a crack of lightning, and then an angry storm cloud opened, spilling out a light mist.

  “Here it comes!” Scott called over his shoulder. “We’ve just got a little farther to go.”

  Beth grasped the reins in a loose hold, allowing Sundance to do his job. She knew he’d been over the same trails hundreds of times, so she put her trust in the gelding to get her to their destination safely. Drops of water rolled off the brim of her hat onto her pant legs. Sundance huffed and snorted, and his muscles bulged as his pancake-sized hooves pounded the hard ground. He was doing a fine job of keeping up with Pepper, who was sailing down the trail as if she had wings.

  “There’s the cave,” Scott hollered, pointing ahead. A hundred feet up, Pepper slid to a stop and Scott leaped off her back. Beth rode up behind them.

  They hadn’t expected a storm when they set off, but it had come up in a hurry. The wind howled through the forest of juniper and piñon trees like a pack of coyotes. Scott hastily tied Pepper to a wooden hitching post under the cave’s natural rock overhang.

  “Will the horses be all right here?” Beth yelled above the wind. As she attempted to dismount, Sundance proved uncooperative by dancing in a circle and tossing his head. His nostrils flared and his ears were pinned back. Beth flung her leg back over and held tight to the saddle horn.

  “They’ll be safe,” Scott yelled back. “Your horse does not like storms though!” He grabbed hold of Sundance’s halter.

  Just then, the clouds that darkened the sky unleashed a barrel of rain.

  As Scott tried to settle Sundance, Beth’s natural instincts took over. She tugged the lead rope out from under the saddle horn and lifted her right foot out of the s
tirrup. Swinging out of the saddle in one fluid motion, she bounced on her boot tips as she hit the ground. She tossed Scott her reins, and he knotted the lead rope around the hitching post before reaching for her hand. They ran into the mouth of the cave, hand in hand. Drenched, she began to shiver.

  “Sit here,” Scott said, leading her to a rock formation jutting out from the wall of the cave. It resembled a big easy chair. “I’ll start a fire and we’ll be dried out and warm in no time.”

  “Hhhhow are you gggoing to start a fire?” she stuttered. She wrapped her arms around herself, but her whole body convulsed with shivers.

  He strode to the back of the dark cave and returned holding a bundle containing sticks, some matches, and a striped wool Indian blanket. “I keep a cache of supplies here for times like this.” He wrapped the blanket snug around her shoulders and dropped to his knees in front of a blackened fire pit dug into the ground.

  She watched as he built a teepee out of sticks, struck a match on the bottom of his boot, and tossed it onto the sticks. A tiny spark ignited and he bent down, cupped his hand around it, and blew short puffs of air onto the flame to coax it out. When the fire lit, he fanned it with his hands. It wasn’t but a moment before a small fire was crackling.

  “I was kind of expecting you to rub two sticks together,” she teased, her voice still quivering.

  “Ah shucks, ma’am.” Again, the John Wayne impression. “Sticks only work in the movies. ‘Round here we like to use that newfangled technology called the match.”

  She chuckled and patted the spot next to her. “You’re soaked, too. Sit beside me and get warm. I’ll be glad to share the blanket.”

  When he obliged, she opened the Indian blanket and draped it across his back and over one shoulder. The moment their wet shoulders and legs touched, a jolt of electricity jumped off him and sent a zing straight to her heart. They looked at each other, but neither commented. Had he felt the energy move between them?

  They watched the orange flames flicker, leap and dance. Despite the chill, Beth could feel heat radiating from Scott’s body. They pressed together like a sandwich, neither of them moving even an inch.

  “Do your wranglers bring the guests up here?” she asked, breaking the silence. The fire was beginning to dry out her bones and her teeth no longer clicked together.

  “Yep. There are several caves on the property. We’ve built hitching posts at all of them, and they all have some kind of protective covering so the horses can stay out of the weather on days like this. I like to be up here when it rains.”

  “I like it, too. There’s something about being here in this storm—just us and nature at its wildest. It’s exciting. It must not be much different now than when the Native Americans roamed the area and made caves like this one their home.”

  Scott tossed a couple more sticks on the fire. “You’re right. Not much has changed up here in a thousand years. Cody and Rowdy know the entire history of the ranch. Cody, in particular, has become very interested in how the Indians lived. I guess it’s old hat to Rowdy since he’s grown up on the reservation, but he seems to enjoy playing it all up for the guests. The boys like to dig around and find bits and pieces of pottery to give to our guests as souvenirs. They also like to throw in a ghost story or two for fun.”

  “I can see why. This is the perfect setting for ghosts.”

  The wind continued to blow, and the rain fell like daggers outside the opening of the cave. Inside they were as cozy as bedbugs.

  “Are you starting to warm up?” he asked.

  “Yes. Thank you for starting the fire. I can see you’re a good guy to have around in times like this.” She gazed into the incandescent blaze and let her mind wander.

  On the outside, Scott appeared calm and in control, but inside, his heart ricocheted in his chest like a pinball. What was it about the woman that had him so worked up? He’d only met her two days ago. It was sappy and cliché, but he truly felt like he’d known her all his life.

  Never imagining love at first sight was possible, that notion changed the moment he set eyes on her on that lonely desert road. At that moment, he knew she was special, and as each moment in her presence passed, she proved to be more and more so. No matter how he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He was falling for the mysterious woman—and he was falling hard.

  He peeked at her out of the corner of his eye. The desire was so strong, almost uncontrollable, to take her in his arms and kiss her. He wanted to hold her and tell her everything was going to be all right, that she had nothing to worry about and that he’d take care of her. Scott Landry, Mr. Dependable, had never felt so reckless before.

  His chest tightened like a vice. What if she’s married? That thought was never far from his mind. But imagining her with another man just about drove him crazy. He must be falling in love, he thought. He didn’t want her gazing into another man’s eyes. He didn’t want someone else to touch her. He glanced down at her hands folded in her lap. There was no wedding band on her finger, but he knew the absence of a ring didn’t mean anything. She could have lost it, or it could have been stolen or removed on purpose. He’d already considered all the possible scenarios.

  What was wrong with him? He was imagining a future with this perfect stranger, when he should have been thinking about the woman already a part of his life. Joanna. The two of them had known each other their entire lives. She was strong, outspoken, and independent, and she made it plain as rain that she wanted him.

  What was it that kept him from fully committing to her? Why couldn’t he tell her he loved her? He knew Jo longed to hear the words, but a lead weight dropped to the bottom of his belly anytime he thought of appeasing her by saying those three little words. For him, that word was far too powerful and precious to toss out in a casual way. The last woman he had completely given his heart to was Maggie, and he’d lost her. It was a frightening prospect to open up to those kind of feelings again. At least, where Joanna was concerned.

  After almost a year, it was still hard to think about giving himself to Joanna. But Beth…it just felt right somehow. He was thinking about her in ways he’d never thought about Joanna.

  Why was she brought into my life? It could have easily been someone else driving down the road the other morning. Any number of ranchers in the area could have found her. Why me? Why now?

  He was already falling in love with her, but he couldn’t bear to lose another woman he cared for. And he was bound to lose this one. She had amnesia now, but she would eventually regain her memory and go back to wherever she came from. No doubt she’d return to another man, perhaps a husband and children who loved her and wanted her home.

  Then again, maybe... Don’t even go there. He turned his face back to the fire and set his chin in his hand.

  The rain continued to pour. The two of them sat, knee touching knee, with the popping and crackling of the fire between them. Their horses’ tails swished, and the wind howled. And it seemed they were the only two people on earth.

  “Have you noticed how neither of us feels the need to fill the air with senseless talk?” Scott asked. That was important to him. A couple needed to be able to share silence as well as words.

  Beth smiled. “It’s nice, isn’t it?” She fingered the frayed edge of the Indian blanket. “I’ve been sitting here thinking.”

  “Thinking about what?”

  “What if I never get my memory back? Or, worse, what if I start remembering things I wanted to forget? I believe something terrible happened to me. Maybe I’m keeping it tucked away in my mind on purpose to protect myself from the truth.”

  He’d thought the same thing. “I can only imagine how confused and scared you must be.”

  “What if someone shows up in the sheriff’s office,” she continued, “but I don’t have any recollection of them? What will I do then?”

  “I don’t know,” he answered. “You won’t know either, until that moment arrives.”

  She twisted a knot of frin
ge around her finger. “I’m so afraid of having to leave the ranch and go off with a stranger. Will I have to?” Her eyes plead with him wanting to be reassured.

  Scott shrugged. “I honestly don’t know, Beth. Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it.” He placed his hand over hers. “You’re so much stronger than you realize. I’ve already seen what you’re made of. When you’re faced with the knowledge of what happened to you, and you’ll be forced to do something about it, I have no doubt you’ll cowgirl up.”

  Her lips tipped into a smile. “Cowgirl up? What’s that mean?”

  “It means to pull yourself up by the boot straps and handle whatever’s thrown your way, no matter how difficult or challenging.”

  She contemplated that, and then sighed in relief. “I like that. And I appreciate your confidence. Sheriff Griggs got right to work sending out bulletins and getting those posters up. I like him, and I trust he knows what he’s doing.”

  “Joanna believes he’s incompetent, but she holds a grudge. He’s a good man and a capable sheriff. He’ll do all he can to help you.”

  At the mention of Joanna’s name, Beth turned away suddenly and stared into the flames again.

  Scott dug at the dirt with the toe of his boot wishing he hadn’t ruined the moment.

  “Are you going to marry Joanna?” Beth blurted.

  The question caught him off guard. “I don’t know. Why do you ask?”

  “I was just wondering and thinking about what your friend Sherry said.”

  Before he could respond, lightning struck near the mouth of the cave, followed by a boom of thunder. Flames engulfed the tree.

  They both jumped up and sprinted to the opening. The blanket was still clutched in her hands around her shoulders. The horses whinnied and stomped their hooves. Another crack reverberated through the mountains. Suddenly, Beth slumped against the cave wall. Her eyes closed, and she moaned softly.

  “What is it?” Scott asked. He placed his hands on her shoulders, but she violently shrugged him off.