Surrendered on the Frontier

by Jane Henry

  Samuel didn’t allow her to be rude to him.

  Aaron defended Pearl.

  Who would defend me? It wasn’t fair. The hurt I felt deflated my anger, and I no longer wished to speak of it. I sighed and put my head on my arms, closing my eyes. I didn’t want him to see me cry. After a few moments, Samuel spoke, and his voice had softened.

  “Ruth?”

  I opened my eyes. “Yes?” I asked.

  “What’s on your mind?”

  I decided there was no harm in telling him the truth. “You said Aaron defends Pearl. Well, that’s wonderful, if you’re Pearl. But if you’re me? With no one to defend you? And you defend yourself? You get tossed into a loft and threatened with spanking.” My voice caught. I would not let him see me cry. I would not!

  I turned from him, then, and faced the other end of the loft. I suddenly felt very, very tired. I placed my head on my arms and closed my eyes. I felt the heaviness begin to settle on my chest, the weight I felt most days, squeezing my heart and making my head feel stuffy. I rarely cried. I simply carried on, doing what I had to do, bearing my yoke without complaint. My burden was heavy. And if no one would help me lift it, I would carry it myself.

  I heard his steady breathing, and the comforting sounds of the animals in the barn, the shifting hooves of the horses, and the soft nuzzles and chewing sounds on the other side of the wall. The hay smelled sweet and the barn was warm. My eyes as heavy as the rest of me, I fell asleep.

  * * *

  When I woke, the barn had darkened a bit. I wondered how long I’d been asleep, and I sat up with a start, momentarily forgetting where I was, and why. I looked over to where Samuel had been sitting. He was still there, his saddle upon his knee. He had a small tin of oil and a rag, and was cleaning it thoroughly. Next to him sat his rifle and stout riding quirt. He’d kept himself busy while I slept, tending to his tools.

  “Feelin’ better, little Ruth?” he asked. I felt shy watching him as he sat atop the stool, his large legs spread apart and the leather saddle straddling one knee, his hat still atop his head and shadowing his stubbled jaw.

  “I think so,” I said quietly. “Samuel?” I sat up and rubbed a hand across my eyes, my fingers nimbly fixing my hair.

  He stilled, his blue eyes coming to mine, placid and tender. “Yes, honey?”

  I loved when he called me honey. I swallowed. “Have you been sitting here the whole time?” I asked.

  He smiled gently. “About when I figured out you weren’t comin’ down and I wouldn’t have to snatch you up and warm your bottom, I got my tools, came back here, and have been workin’ ever since. You feelin’ less ornery?”

  “I am,” I said, though the sorrow from earlier still lingered. “Now will you let me down?”

  He placed his saddle down and rose, unfolding his large frame, every inch of him raw, bridled strength. He crossed the distance between us in two long strides, and I felt the energy between us crackle as he got closer, my need to have him touch me intensifying.

  He reached his hands out to me. “Come, now, little Ruth,” he said. I could’ve simply slid off the edge, but he was having none of it. He reached one hand under my arms and the other under my legs, swung me up and over the edge, but he didn’t release me right away.

  “You’ve got a pattern of straw on your cheek,” he said with a chuckle. Up close to his chest like this, I felt his deep voice down to my toes. I remembered the feel of his hands on my intimate parts, roaming my body, and my mouth grew dry. My latent desire renewed. To my immense pleasure he bent down and kissed my cheek. His warm mouth on my skin was welcome, his whiskers prickled, and I wished it was my mouth, not my cheek, that he kissed.

  At the doorway to the barn, he let me down. I knew he had to, though I wanted to be held longer. I felt warmth in my cheeks and in my chest, arousal pulsing low between my legs. After years of neglecting my womanly needs, the attraction to Samuel was almost disconcerting. I had been so removed from my attraction to men that it felt new, more powerful, and a bit unwelcome. I wasn’t quite sure how to handle it.

  “Matthew and Hannah are due from school soon, and Aaron’s gone to fetch them. You go on in the cabin with Ma, and see to helping her.” He reached for my hand and squeezed it. “And Ruth?”

  I nodded, feeling meeker than I had in a good long while.

  His eyes darkened and his lips thinned. “If Geraldine is ornery, you fetch me. I’ll not be far today. You stay out of her way as much as you can, but if she lights into you, you let me handle her. Will you do that?”

  In the past, even a week or so ago, I’d have refused his offer. I’d have insisted I could fend for myself. I felt just a bit of the heaviness about me lift, just a little, as I nodded my consent.

  “Good girl,” he said, granting me one of his rare grins. He took my hand to his lips and kissed my fingers. I watched him go, and I missed him already.

  When I returned to the cabin, there was no need to worry about Geraldine. She was calm and placid. Pearl lifted curious eyes to me, as if to make sure I was unharmed, then she returned to her work. Ma welcomed me back as if I hadn’t been taken to the barn and then gone for hours. I wondered what they suspected. Did they wonder if he’d punished me? Though Samuel was the gentlest of the Stanley brothers, he came from a line of stern, rugged men who were decidedly in charge, and unapologetic in their expectation of obedience. I’d heard a few stories about Aaron and Pearl, and I also knew that Ma frequently said that her own boys had inherited the same traits from their pa. But everyone kept their own counsel.

  Ma had a pile of wild mustard and dandelion greens we’d boil as our first spring vegetable dish. They needed to be sorted, picked through, and cleaned. Geraldine was busy once again rocking her baby and trying to get her to sleep, Pearl was knitting placidly, and I was sitting by the table, when the door flung open. Samuel stood in the doorway, his eyes serious, and I started at the sudden appearance.

  “Ruth, come with me,” he said. I got to my feet, feeling the dread pool in my stomach. Something was horribly wrong.

  “What is it?” I whispered.

  “Hannah’s had a fall,” he said. “Aaron sent word with Matthew for me to fetch you, and Phillip’s gone for the doctor. Come now, woman.”

  I fled the cabin, instinctively reaching for his hand, nearly running to keep up with his long strides. When we reached his horse, he put his hands on my waist and lifted me. I sat side-saddle while he heaved himself up. Wrapping my arms around his back, I held on tightly as he galloped toward home.

  Chapter Three: Temper Brewing

  We rode in silence, the only sound the thundering of Trigger’s hooves on the hard prairie grass, and my heartbeat hammering against Samuel’s back. What had happened? I had seen my little girl hurt, and I could hardly bear it. I’d have gladly offered myself in place of her, and had, many times. She’d experienced too much in her tender years, and she needed no more harm to come to her. As we rode across the prairie, my heart squeezed in my chest, and I felt it difficult to breathe. I concentrated on feeling the roughness of Samuel’s shirt beneath my fingers, his hardened muscles beneath the fabric, and watching his strong, capable hands holding the reins. He was an accomplished rider, and he led Trigger with ease over the bumpy terrain. In no time at all, we arrived at my home.

  Samuel slung himself down from his horse and I tried to shimmy myself down, so eager was I to get to Hannah, but Samuel’s growl stopped me. I frowned at him, but allowed him to help me down, his hands around my waist, but when my feet hit the ground, I was already running. I yanked the door to our cabin, rushing inside. Aaron stood in the main area of the cabin, leaning against the table with his arms crossed, and Matthew was pacing in front of the fireplace.

  “What happened?” I asked. “Where’s Hannah?”

  Matthew looked down sheepishly. “She’s in her room,” he said, jerking a finger behind him. I wondered if it was a foolhardy scheme of his that got Hannah hurt, but I didn’t pause for an explanation;
instead, rushing into Hannah’s room, with Samuel right behind me and Aaron following. Matthew hung by the door.

  “Ma!” Hannah said weakly as I rushed to her side. The doctor was holding her left arm and examining her carefully. I took Hannah’s uninjured hand.

  Dr. Gentry was an older man, with white hair and a white mustache, his golden spectacles perched atop his nose. His typically jovial face looked grim as he examined Hannah.

  “Seems these two young ‘uns were having a tree-climbin’ contest,” he said, his voice heavy with rebuke. “Fortunately, it looks as if there’s no breakage, but a serious sprain. She’ll have no use of the arm for a few weeks, and we’ll keep it tied up in a sling. She’s fortunate that she didn’t do more damage. Falls like hers often result in far worse injuries, even a broken neck.” I inhaled sharply. My girl!

  Matthew shifted in the doorway. He looked down at the floor. “It was my idea and it was stupid,” he muttered. Aaron and Samuel looked over at him.

  I turned back to Hannah and raised my brows. She nodded sheepishly.

  “I didn’t want to be bested by him,” she said. “He told me girls can’t climb as high in a dress, and I wanted to show him he was wrong.” Her eyes flashed. I sighed. My girl was a spitfire.

  “Well, Matthew isn’t the one lying here in bed,” I chided. “Seems he did best you, then.” I knew the knowledge that he’d won the contest would be punishing enough for her, and she’d remember the loss every time she went to use her arm over the next few weeks. Hannah frowned.

  Aaron walked to the door. “Seems you all have this situation under control. I need to get back to Pearl. It’s suppertime, and she’s often tired in the evenin’.” He tipped his hat to me.

  “Thank you, Aaron,” I said. “You were the one who helped her get back here?” I smiled my thanks.

  He nodded. “Matthew was doing his best on his own, but I had my horse. We got her back here, then Matthew was the one to fetch the doctor.”

  “Thank you, Matthew,” I said.

  Samuel, however, was frowning.

  Aaron turned to Samuel and Matthew. “You’ll see to Matthew getting home, then?” he asked.

  “I will,” Samuel said shortly. Aaron tipped his hat again and left.

  As Dr. Gentry tied a sling around Hannah’s arm, Samuel spoke to Matthew. “You see that girl laid up in pain because of your foolhardy behavior?” he asked sharply.

  Matthew shifted. “Yes, sir.”

  Samuel’s eyes smoldered. “You’re older than she is, bigger, and stronger. And you’re a man. Men are supposed to protect and care for women, not lead them into danger.”

  “Yes, sir. I know’d it,” Matthew said, kicking a toe of his shoe into the floorboard.

  Samuel gave him a long, hard look, his hands placed firmly on his hips. “How do you think you’ll make amends for what happened today?”

  Matthew looked embarrassed, but to his credit, looked at his brother steadily. “You’re askin’ me?”

  Samuel nodded. “I am.”

  I felt sorry for Matthew, and didn’t want to see him in too much trouble, especially when he already felt so bad. “Samuel, seeing as Hannah’s injuries will prevent her from doing her chores properly around here, wouldn’t it be more fitting for him to help her out?”

  Matthew frowned. “I’d rather take a whuppin’,” he muttered, kicking at the floor again. Samuel’s eyes met mine across the room and smiled at me.

  “Seems doing her chores while she’s laid up would be proper, then,” Samuel said. “What are Hannah’s evening chores?”

  After I’d detailed her responsibilities, Samuel took Matthew out to the barn to do Hannah’s chores while Dr. Gentry faced me. “She’ll be fine in a few weeks, if she rests properly,” he explained, but his eyes went back to Hannah’s. “No heavy lifting, or tree climbing, or anything of the sort. You hear me, Hannah?”

  Hannah nodded soberly. I thanked the doctor as we walked to the door.

  “Well, now, it’s my pleasure, Ruth,” he said calmly. There had been more than one occasion when Dr. Gentry had tended to me and Hannah after we’d been hurt by my late husband. I knew him to be fair and gentle, but to respect our privacy as well.

  “Dr. Gentry, I have no way to pay you,” I said. Dr. Gentry was a widower with no children, and lived alone in town. Being the town doctor to a crowd of hard-working, but rather poor farmers, made his job less than profitable.

  He waved a hand. “Now, Ruth, I’d not be taking money from you for such a small injury. I merely tied a sling and examined her.”

  “Some of my berry preserves, then?” I asked, going to our pantry and extracting a vibrant red jar of raspberry jam, my favorite. I did make delicious jam.

  “That’d be more than enough,” he said, taking the proffered payment with a smile. As he left, I looked out to the barn, where Samuel and Matthew were. Matthew came to the doorway, and Dr. Gentry spoke with Samuel for a moment. There were nods and waves, and to my surprise, I saw Matthew get atop Dr. Gentry’s horse, and the two of them rode away together. My heart thumped. I wondered if that meant Samuel was staying longer.

  My heart beat steadily in my chest as I saw Samuel tip his hat to Matthew and Dr. Gentry, before heading to me with long, purposeful strides.

  I turned tail and scurried back to Hannah, who was trying to get up out of bed.

  “Oh, no, you don’t,” I said firmly. “You scoot yourself back in bed.”

  “But Ma! I’m fine,” Hannah protested. “It’s just my arm, and the rest of me is just the same as usual. I can still get up and walk about. And when did you bring those birds in?”

  “As for the little birds, I brought them in this morning. Their mama… well, the birds need us to provide for them. As for you, I’ll have you stay in bed tonight.”

  “I promise I’m fine,” she protested, but I heard Samuel come in behind me.

  “You mind your ma,” he said, with quiet rebuke, as he walked over to Hannah’s side.

  Hannah’s eyes widened, but she merely nodded up at him.

  He continued. “After a good night’s sleep, we’ll see how you’re doin’ tomorrow.” He gently stroked the hair back from her forehead, and I warmed at that. “You best get yourself better now, darlin’, if you want to go fishin’ with me and Matthew like we talked about. If you’re better tomorrow, we’ll decide if we’ll let you up out of bed.”

  We.

  The way he joined me in a decision having to do with my daughter’s well-being touched me. I closed my eyes momentarily, overcome with the emotion of the day. It had been such a very, very long day.

  As Hannah’s head rested back on her pillow, I saw how weary she was, too. She nodded to Samuel. “Yes, sir.”

  “I’ll fetch you some supper, sweetheart,” I murmured, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. She nodded, and her eyes closed.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Samuel joined me in the main area of the cabin. “Where’d Matthew go?” I asked as I scurried around, frying up eggs and slicing bread.

  “Dr. Gentry had to see Ma and return some of her empty jars,” he explained. “So he said he’d take Matthew home.”

  I nodded, pushing a plate of food in front of Samuel, and a second plate next to his. I went to Hannah’s room with food and a cool tin cup of milk, but when I got there, I heard her light snores and heavy breathing. I stood by her bed, watching her sleep for a moment, smoothing her hair back off her forehead and tucking her blanket a bit tighter around her. She’d have to remove her dress and prepare to sleep, but I didn’t want to wake her yet. I would let her rest.

  I wanted to put my arms around her and draw her to me, hold her tight, and not let anyone or anything ever hurt her again. I looked over at the nest still on the little table by her window, and the softly sleeping forms of the tiny little birds. I knew that one day, the day when those little birds would grow old enough to fly on their own, they would have to be set free. I looked at my little Hannah. Letting her
fly alone meant she risked being hurt. I couldn’t bear to think about it. I needed her by my side, where I could watch and protect her.

  After smoothing the blanket over her one last time, I went back to Samuel. He was still sitting in front of his untouched food.

  “Land’s sake, Samuel, what are you waiting for? Tuck in,” I said.

  He lifted his brows to me. “Bossin’ me around, woman?” he said with a teasing lilt in his voice.

  “That I am. Now are you going to do as you’re told, or do I need to tell your ma on you?”

  He stood then, and I felt a tiny prickle of apprehension. But he merely pulled my chair out and gestured for me to sit. I sat.

  “Just bein’ a gentleman, waitin’ on you,” he said. “Now button up your lip and tuck in yourself.”

  I obeyed, happily this time.

  He nodded, and we ate in comfortable silence. When he was done eating, he pushed himself away from the table. “Hannah okay?” he asked.

  “Oh, she’s fine, just dozing off,” I replied.

  Crossing his arms, he gave me a sober look. “And how’s little Ruth?”

  I sighed and smiled sadly. Hearing him call me little Ruth, I felt I wanted to cry, or climb into bed and not get up again for a good long while. I remembered his hands on me earlier that day, and how he’d brought me to ecstasy in this very cabin. I remembered his stern look in the barn and how he’d waited for me until I woke up. I wanted more of him.

  Ever so slowly, he unfolded his arms and opened them up to me.

  “Come here, honey.”

  I felt the comfort in his voice, as warm and sweet as the name he called me, and I trembled as I crossed over to him. When I stood in front of him, he tugged me onto his lap.

  I’d never sat on a man’s lap before. The only men I’d ever known well were my pa and my husband, and neither had ever cared for me. I feared I would feel like a child sitting upon Samuel’s knee. But I was wrong. It felt quite nice, and for once I was grateful for my diminutive stature. I liked being held in his strong arms, or sitting upon his lap. His arms encircled me, and my head fell to his chest.