Breaking Spades

by W. Ferraro

  Jarod’s face remained unchanged, “Yeah, tied up nice and neat for you with a perfect bow, congrats, Lieutenant. Is that all?”

  Max took a sip of his coffee before responding, “Not exactly, there is one more thing,” Max pointed to the counter.

  Jarod turned his attention to his right, and Natalie Cross smiled back at him. She hopped down and thanked Max, who got up and walked right out the door. Natalie slid in Max’s vacated seat.

  “Hi, Jarod. I’m sorry I had Max lure you here, but you would not return mine, or Dylan’s calls.”

  Jarod didn’t deny her claim.

  Natalie slid her hand into her bag and pulled out a somewhat thick letter sized manila envelope, “Dylan wanted me to give this to you; it’s your fee for your services.”

  Jarod’s eyes never wavered from hers, letting Natalie just hold out the envelope until she placed it on the table between them.

  “You’ve earned it, Jarod, please take it.”

  “Look, Natalie, I appreciate it, but put it away for Cat and Ria. Dylan did something for me way back when, this was me just repaying the debt.”

  Jarod placed his hands on the table, and pushed upward starting to stand, but Natalie’s plea halted him, “Please don’t go, Jarod, I promise I won’t take much more of your time.” Whether it was the sweet look Natalie perfected, or her small voice, Jarod didn’t know, but he found himself sitting back down. “How’s your shoulder?”

  “It’s fine, Natalie, nothing I can’t handle.”

  Natalie nodded her head and then finished, “The last thing I wanted to tell you was their plane left this morning for Napa. I’m sorry, Jarod.”

  It felt like he had been punched square in the throat.

  “Good for her, Lowell should give her a good life.”

  “Don’t do that!”

  “I don’t know what you mean, Natalie,” he spoke knowing she saw right through his boldfaced lie.

  “I mean, don’t lay down like a dog. This isn’t what CeCe wants!”

  “Did she tell you that?

  “No, but…”

  “But nothing, she chose. Now, I really must be going.”

  Jarod stood, ignoring the pain from his leg and shoulder as he walked out of the diner into the August sun. He put his aviator glasses on to block out the brilliant sunlight, but he knew it was really to hide the tears that threatened to spill over.

  Four Weeks Later…

  “This better be good!” Jarod shouted as he made his way to whoever was pounding on his front door. He opened the door, ready to unleash his fury on the inconsiderate asshole that would pound on someone’s door at 2AM, but when he saw CeCe, all he wanted to say floated away.

  “Kitten?”

  “Can I come in?” CeCe asked with a quivering voice.

  Jarod pushed the door open allowing her to enter before closing it behind her. Wondering for a moment if he was in a dream, but she passed him and her delicious scent surrounded him and he knew this was no dream. It was weird having her here in his home. Suddenly, he was self-conscience of the clutter and dirty dishes left about. He watched as she took in his private space. The classic farmhouse didn’t scream masculinity, but Jarod prided himself on all the work he had done. He knew there was still a lot to do, but when Jarod wasn’t working, he found satisfaction in bringing back the charm from the past with his own hands. The concentration of working with his hands, and bringing this home back to its glory, helped him deal with the demons that had returned with vengeance. Especially since his walking talisman was no longer near.

  As she studied his home, he chose to study how her legs looked amazing in the skintight jeans she wore, and how odd it was to see her in sneakers, but he liked it. The simple black v-neck t-shirt she wore was feminine and simple, not that CeCe ever looked bad in anything, but right now she looked like a walking wet dream to him, the problem was she belonged to Lowell, her soon-to-be husband. That thought had him clearing his throat, bringing her out of her exaggerated perusal of his home.

  And then CeCe did the last thing Jarod thought was possible, she launched herself at him, jumping up holding onto him by the neck as she wrapped her legs around his waist. His leg buckled under her weight and the unexpected movement, but he recovered quickly. She touched his lips with her own and kissed him with everything she had.

  Jarod was unable to fight her, not because of strength or dignity, but because this was what he wanted, what he needed, her taste one last time. It would never be enough, but it would have to be. In the moment, he could pretend she was his, but that was all it could be—a false tale for him to justify his pathetic lack of willpower.

  “I can’t do this!” Jarod pulled away from her delectable mouth, and put her back down on the ground. He spun in place, trying to gain control and considered himself the biggest idiot on the planet for stopping CeCe’s kiss. He turned back to her, placing his hands on her shoulders, holding her in place so she would have to hear his words, “I promised you I would leave you alone, but I can’t. I have to say this; don’t marry Lowell. You can’t marry him; I can’t lose you again. I can’t!” He didn’t care that he was begging. If getting down on his knees would put any favor in his corner, he would do it without a seconded thought. “You belong to me. You belong with me. I will spend every minute, of every day, showing you this. I fucked up badly, I know, but I just can’t live without you. Please don’t take my reason for getting up in the morning away from me. Until he puts a wedding band on your finger, I can’t lose hope.” He didn’t care that the water pooling in his eyes began to run down his cheeks. This was his life. If this wasn’t worth fighting for, nothing was. His voice cracked and he was unable to speak above a whisper, “It’s all I have left! It’s all I’ve had for thirteen years. It was the only thing that has given me the strength to want to open my eyes every morning of these thirteen years.”

  CeCe began to cry, but her smile confused him. She stuck her left hand up so he could see her third finger was bare.

  Jarod didn’t dare say what raced through his mind.

  Now it was time for CeCe’s smile to fade, “I’m a horrible person. Horrible for what I’ve done to you, but also for what I did to Derrick. I got on the plane with him, knowing why he was bringing me there, and I still went. He made every effort to impress me and it was a beautiful proposal, but I just couldn’t accept. I never thought I would want to be asked the question, but then, recently, I decided I did want to hear those words. I wanted someone to ask me to make them whole, to take his name and wear it proudly. I wanted that, but then, when I saw him down on one knee, I knew…”

  “You’ve changed your mind,” Jarod whispered the excruciating hit to his hopes knowing this meant it was over. She would never belong to him.

  “The wrong man was asking me,” CeCe whispered back, waiting for her words to register.

  When he finally realized what she said, he lifted her off the floor and into the most wonderful hug. It was filled with promises and of emotion. The ultimate embrace of two lovers, but also of a man and his wife; nothing compared.

  “I love you, Jarod. It has always been you, it will always only ever be you.”

  Those words would forever be tattooed in his memory and across his heart. She was his. Jarod claimed her lips and kissed her with everything he possessed. He had years to make up for, and there was no time like the present to do just that.

  Jarod made quick work of her clothes; soon she was bared to him and lying on his couch, the closest soft horizontal surfaces. With the biggest smiled spread across his face, he brushed the hair off her face and looked at the woman that meant everything to him, “I guess we need to go ring shopping.”

  “No need to rush that, Jarod, I can wait.”

  “No way you’re waiting, no other man, Cees, I’m not joking. That means I need my ring on your finger as soon as possible. Trust me, Kitten, I’m more than enough for you, and I’ll prove it.” Jarod leaned down and once again took possession of her mouth. Hi
s hands began to play her like a fine tuned instrument. Her moans answered each of his finger’s movements, she panted his name and he loved every moment of it. Just when he knew her to be close to purring like her pet name, he pulled away

  “What’s the matter,” she asked breathless.

  “Wait, what took you so long to come to me?” His eyes searched hers, needing to hear why she kept him in agony.

  A faint blush overtook her cheeks as she looked downward, but then just as quickly she looked into his eyes holding them with her own, “I needed to be sure this was right.”

  “I hate that you were doubtful. I love you CeCe. Always. I’ll spend every day proving it to you. I want to show you I am worthy of your love and of you.”

  Would she ever believe the amount of love he had for her?

  Just as he thought it, she answered it, “You are not only worthy of me, you deserve better. I had to do some deep soul-searching to confirm I was worthy of you.”

  Oh my Kitten, how I love you. His smile spread across his face and knew life with this woman would be nothing short of amazing. He leaned down and kissed her communicating without words. Just as she clung to him and ground herself against him, he once again pulled away. He stood up and held his hand out to her.

  With the smile she loved shining down on her, she accepted her clothes back as he handed them to her. When she was dressed again, she raised her eyebrow expecting an explanation before she voiced her confusion, “I thought you were going to prove something to me?”

  “I will, but we have a drive to take first.”

  “A drive? Where are we going?”

  Holding her hand, he led her to the front door, and before he pulled it open, he kissed her lips, “There is a stretch of secluded woods I haven’t been to in thirteen years. It was where I made love to the only woman I’ve ever loved. I’d like to do it again, but this time, I’ll take my time, and appreciate every moment, every moan, and every touch because there is no way this will be the end, it is just the beginning of the rest of our lives.”

  “Then what are we waiting for?”

  Fourteen Months Later…

  “So you have everything? You only get one shot at this.” Dylan asked for the umpteenth time.

  “Yes! I have everything! Do you really think CeCe would’ve let me get this far without having everything?” Jarod chastised, but secretly ran through the mental list again.

  “Good point!” Dylan agreed, knowing his honorary sister would never not have everything planned on such a special day.

  Each man grabbed a door handle as they swung the venue’s double doors open. Beyond those doors was complete pandemonium. People everywhere, clothes racks here and there, models in chairs being plucked, tweezed, primped, and God only knew what else, by the look of them. Jarod felt his face redden at the proud and unabashed women that walked around, pretty damn close to nude.

  “Damn!” Dylan mumbled behind him.

  Jarod turned on his friend; unable to believe a man so in love with his spouse would enjoy the view so much “You know, your wife is around here, somewhere.”

  Dylan smacked Jarod upside the head, “Who the hell do you think I’m looking at? It took CeCe a lot to talk Natalie into being one of the models, but once she explained to my wife she wanted her to wear the dress that meant so much in our relationship, Natalie couldn’t say no. But, damn! I’ll never get used to my wife’s beauty. Excuse me.”

  Jarod chuckled at himself for his stupid assumption as he watched Dylan walk over to where a very beautiful Natalie sat, nervous, but lovely in some sort of classy yet very sexy dress. But she wasn’t who Jarod was desperate to see.

  Just then he heard her voice, dictating instructions, and he saw her head going a mile-a-minute. He started to make his way to her, but he was snagged on the arm by a warm hand.

  “Oh no! She is busy and has given me strict instructions to usher you out to your seat. She knew you would not listen and stay out there, letting me come and retrieve the items she wanted.” the redhead motioned for him to go out the way he came in.

  “Kelleigh, let me just talk to her for a moment, then I will be the abiding husband and take my seat.”

  Kelleigh laughed, “You will have to try that smoldering look on someone else, I’m immune to it by now. Out!”

  Jarod knew he wouldn’t get any farther if guard-dog Kelleigh was onto his scent. He went to out to his seat and accepted the congratulations by all the people around him. He wasn’t used to being congratulated for something he had nothing to do with, but he only could tell someone what an amazing designer his wife was so many times.

  Forty-five minutes later, all the models returned to the stage as the room erupted with cheers. After everyone was on their feet, CeCe emerged from behind the curtain, glowing, as she stood amongst all the beautiful models, all wearing Cecille Gates Designs.

  “How come I didn’t look like that when I was eight months pregnant?” Mae said to Seth from their seats behind Jarod. He didn’t wait around to hear Seth’s response.

  Jarod reached down and grabbed the two things he brought that his wife didn’t tell him to have, and made his way to the side stairs leading to the runway. With the room still filled with applause and wolf whistles, Jarod climbed the stairs and took his place next to his wife.

  He spoke loud to ensure she would hear him, “Feeling okay, Kitten? Our little Butterball is okay, too?” he asked indicating their unborn child.

  “I’m perfect. We are both perfect. I did it. My first show!”

  “You did, Kitten!” Jarod kissed her cheek, before pulling the long stemmed calla lily from its hiding spot behind his back. He bowed to her as he presented it to her. More cheers erupted from the crowd. Tears welled in his wife’s beautiful eyes. It didn’t take her long to see the necklace that was tied to the green ribbon.

  CeCe’s eyes met Jarod’s and, as if there weren’t three hundred people in the audience, he took the chain from its ribbon and stood behind his wife, draping the three hearts pendant onto her neck where he clasped it closed. CeCe fingered the yellow and white gold hearts that wrapped around each other, infinitely connected before dipping down into a smaller, third heart made of diamonds, signifying their yet to be born son. He then kissed his wife with all that he had, knowing this was exactly how his life was supposed to be.

  Out of the broken pieces of one’s life comes a stronger and impenetrable hold on one’s respect and gratitude for every day you’re allowed to live your dream, wide awake.