The Astronomer

by Charmaine Pauls

  “You remember our agreement, don’t you?”

  “Huh?” She glanced at him, trying to brush the tangles from her hair with her fingers.

  “I won’t let you go, now.”

  Panic rose in her. Gene would be looking for her. Everyone would be looking. Although, she wouldn’t mind that much being tied to his bed for the rest of her life, his hostage, his anything. She shook her head at her thoughts.

  “Please.” She turned to him. “I’m really worried about the car. It’s not even mine. It’s a rental.”

  “Then it will be insured.”

  “But the excess payable for a stolen vehicle will be huge. I don’t have that many points.”

  “I’ll pay it. I’ll buy you a car. Whatever.” He shrugged.

  He made it all sound so easy. “Please. Emilio.” His name was a whisper on her lips, a delicious word she savored.

  His expression softened as he moved forward and wrapped his arms around her. “Give me a minute to get dressed.”

  Fraya sighed with both relief and regret. Already her body was starting to heat. If she didn’t put some distance between them fast, she was going to lose her mind. She needed time to figure out what had happened. And what to do.

  Chapter Four

  Fraya sat on the edge of her seat as Emilio’s A-Cell neared the spot where she had left the rented car. She exhaled audibly when the Q9 came into sight. Emilio shot her one of his beautiful, reassuring smiles.

  For the next few minutes she watched as he filled the tank with the hydrogen he had bought at the gas station and ensured that the engine started.

  “Thank you, Emilio.” She hugged him tightly.

  “I’ll follow you to your guesthouse to make sure you arrive safely.”

  “No,” she said, shaking her head furiously. When his look darkened, she continued quickly, “I need some time. Alone. What happened last night... This kind of thing is new to me.”

  His jaw set into a determined line. “We’ll figure it out together.”

  “It was frightening. I just need some time to digest it all.” She meant it. She had to think. How was she going to tell Gene?

  He studied her, his face tight, and then he seemed to relax. “I understand. When will I see you again?”

  For an inexplicable reason she felt like bursting into tears, but she managed to smile brightly. “Just give me a bit of time to myself.”

  “I won’t let you go unless you tell me your name and where to find you.”

  She looked at her feet. “I’ll come past your hotel and leave my number and where I’m staying at reception.”

  “Why not give it to me now?”

  “Because you won’t give me enough time to deal with last night.”

  He looked at her for a long time. “Emilio Larraín,” he finally said.

  “What?”

  “Leave a message for Emilio Larraín. And memorize this.” He took her hand and fingered a number in her palm. “My mobile number. Say it.”

  When she did, he made her repeat it, and then she felt his reluctance as he let her go to open the driver’s door of her car and help her inside.

  “Will you manage?” he asked, leaning with his arms on her window, motioning to her ankle.

  “It’s an automatic,” she said, licking her dry lips.

  His eyes followed her action and within a second she saw those blue pools flood with some emotion that made her tummy contract with a delicious, hot spasm. He leaned forward and kissed her long and slow.

  “I’m looking forward to meeting you. Again,” he said.

  He straightened and Fraya took his cue to pull off, glancing in the rearview mirror to see him standing on the side of the road through her tears.

  “Shit.” She drove faster and wiped at her eyes impatiently with the back of her hand. What the hell was wrong with her? She asked herself the same question for the hundredth time in twelve hours.

  Their dorm guesthouse was on the outskirts of Domfront, in a cheap section. Gene’s father wanted to put them up in a luxury hotel, but this is where Fraya had put down her foot. Gene had to grow up sometime. They couldn’t always fall back on his daddy’s points. Gene had put off getting a job since he completed his studies in communication four years ago. He said he was a free spirit, but even free spirits had to earn a living.

  It was with relief that she found the ground floor door of the concrete block unlocked. The breakfast bar was set with strawberry flavored protein shake, synthetic milk and the jelly nutrient cubes she hated. It was still early. No one was around yet and Fraya crept thankfully up the cement stairs. She opened the door to their room with her heart beating in her chest. How did the roles get so reversed since yesterday? Gene was still asleep, his leg thrown over the blanket, his curly hair its usual morning mess. The smooth side of his face was turned to the morning light, the scarred part hidden on his pillow. He looked as innocent as a baby in his sleep.

  Fraya tiptoed to the bench and sat down with her hands clasped in her lap. Only yesterday she had judged Gene with a clear conscience for betraying her trust. Now she was in no position to judge any longer. How could she blame him for finding the passion she couldn’t give him in someone else’s arms? Until yesterday she didn’t know passion, would never have believed that it could exist in the measure it was given to her, by a total stranger, and in the intensity she returned it. She was a logical girl. Everything could be explained in mathematical equations and measured with science. What had happened yesterday had turned her world upside down. Is that what Gene had been looking for when he had turned to Zita? Is that what he had found in Zita’s arms?

  It wasn’t going to be easy, but she had to tell Gene the truth. After that, she had no idea of what do to, except that she had to get back to Emilio. Never would she have second-guessed her and Gene’s decision to get mated. Until yesterday. Until last night. She had been bound to Gene since the day he had saved her life by pulling her from the burning car wreck seconds before it exploded. She owed him everything. The scar he carried on his left cheek was because of her, because he had saved her. And now she owed someone else her life too, it seemed. What a grand mess. She lowered her head into her hands.

  “Fray?”

  Gene’s concerned voice made her look up to see him leap from the bed and rush to her side.

  “Fray, are you alright?” He sat down next to her and grabbed her into his arms. “Oh my God, you have no idea how worried I’ve been. We looked all over for you.” He held her at arm’s length. “Where did you go?” His gaze moved over her. “God. What happened to you?” His eyes filled with something like remorse. “If something had happened to you I would have never forgiven myself. When I put myself in your shoes, after what I told you yesterday, I realized that if I were in your shoes, I would have just wanted to kill myself. I was terrified you’d ... you’d...”

  His touch felt like an offense now. She couldn’t bear it. She shrugged his hands off. “Don’t be so dramatic, Gene. I went for a drive and ran out of hydrogen. I had to find shelter from the rain ... in the woods.”

  She looked away, trying to formulate the words in her mind that would least hurt him when she told him what had happened.

  Gene took her hands. “I went to the police. Me, us, all our friends looked everywhere in town. I called every hotel, every hostel. Don’t ever do that again. I swear to God, Fray, I can’t live without you. I’ll kill myself.”

  She got up and moved painfully to the window, looking out over the small, concrete courtyard with its red and orange metal rooster. “I forgive you. For sleeping with Zita. Let’s just get on with our separate lives, Gene.”

  He jumped up. “No. No. You don’t mean it. I only slept with Zita a couple of times. Alright, maybe it lasted a few months. I stopped counting. You’re hurt and I understand. If you cheated on me, I swear, I’ll shoot myself.” He came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “I had to come clean, and I know I’ve almost destroyed us. We’re mea
nt to be together, Fraya. We’ve always been together. Don’t kill me, I beg you. Don’t do something stupid because of Zita.” He turned her to face him. “Zita is sorry. Said it meant nothing. Even Zita was frantic yesterday when you disappeared. She walked through half of this town on foot, looking for you.” He pulled his hands through his chestnut curls. “I called Lio but I couldn’t get hold of him. When I needed my best buddy he wasn’t there. I had no one. And I suddenly realized that the only one I wanted was you.” His voice broke off and turned into a soft sob.

  Tears ran over Fraya’s cheeks, but they were not meant for the man facing her.

  Misinterpreting her agony, Gene pulled her into his arms. “Please, honey, never take off like that again. You can punish me however you want, but don’t make me suffer that way. I thought you were dead, like that time with the car accident.”

  She held up her hands. “Please, don’t talk about that.”

  “Fine.” He buried his head in her neck. “I’m just so happy you’re back in one piece.”

  Fraya had the sensation of being trapped. She owed Gene and his family everything. He’d saved her from a sure death, and his family stepped in for the one she had lost. His father paid a big portion of her very expensive studies, when holding three jobs wasn’t enough. How could she repay his, their, acceptance and kindness by walking out on him now, a week before their pre-mating party, because she had an irrational one-night stand?

  This was what they always wanted. Her decision to mate Gene was a logical one, weighed on a scale of pros and cons. They were friends. They didn’t fight. They maintained a peaceful life. Now it seemed like a rather uneventful, dull life. She had thought the puzzle fitted so nicely together, that they would build a life complementing each other. Gene would bring some of his boyish enthusiasm into her cynical life, and she’d be the responsible one, pushing him to take a job and save some points. Without being mated to Gene, the International Association of Astronomy wouldn’t have granted her a fellowship at the most prestigious observatory in the world, once her doctorate had been completed. A mating between her and Gene made perfect sense.

  Then why was she suddenly dying inside? What was this new thing eating away at her heart, even with Gene’s arms around her? It was the ordeal, the shock, and the night of... She shook her head. She owed them. She could never walk out on them. Like yesterday, she was standing in front of a bridge and there was but one way forward.

  Gene was so much more sentimental than what she was. He was so sensitive. She cringed with guilt. How could she blame him for finding the passion she had always denied him in Zita’s arms? She could never give him what she had given a stranger last night. Theirs was a relationship built on friendship, responsibility. She felt responsible for Gene in more than one way. He was a dreamer, weak. He had never been able to look out for himself. She had always run his finances, saved him from bar brawls, dragged him from pubs back to his studies, pushed him to finish university. He couldn’t cope without her. How could she turn her back on him now?

  How could she blame him for looking for something she couldn’t give him? Try as she might, she couldn’t feel those things in his arms. She didn’t even know feelings like those existed until last night. She always had a need in the depth of her soul, a bottomless pit that remained unsatisfied. Until yesterday. When Gene and she had made love, she’d always lay awake for long hours afterward, unsatisfied, yearning, longing for something she didn’t understand, listening to Gene’s even breathing while her soul felt cold. And now she would do the same, but she would know what she had been craving for, all those nights. She knew she’d be committing a sin every time Gene was going to touch her, because she would think of another man. She cursed inwardly as tears spilled from her eyes and ran over her cheeks.

  She’d been weak. She’d broken the trust between them just like Gene had broken it, and she would live with her guilt for the rest of her life. At least Gene didn’t have to hide what had happened between him and Zita in some deep, inaccessible part of his soul. At least he had been honest. But she couldn’t afford that luxury. Not only would it destroy Gene, but the truth would destroy her too. If she had to be honest with herself, she wouldn’t be able to honor her promise to Gene, a promise that she’d stay by his side and look after him for the rest of her life. Her tears fell in big blobs on the windowsill as she stared at the new day outside. The electronic cock in the courtyard crowed his call into the sunshine, the cue that breakfast would be available downstairs for the next hour. She shook her head. She was a logical girl. She had made a calculated decision and she would stick to it. Even if her whole being cried out for her to throw everything she had ever been to the wind and to follow her heart. Yes, there was but one way forward. The only way she knew.

  “Please, Fray,” Gene begged, “I swear, if you leave me I’ll kill myself. I’ll do anything, anything you want.”

  “I want to leave today,” she said through her tears.

  He looked at her and frowned. “But our reservation in New Monte Carlo is only from Monday.”

  “I don’t care where we stay. I want to leave this town today.”

  She couldn’t risk being found by a man who would tie her to his bed to keep her from feeling guilty, and God knows, if he did find her, she wasn’t sure that she would have the strength not to walk away from her nine-year relationship, Gene, and his whole family. She had to do what was right. The stranger of the previous night had probably already forgotten about her. It was a one-night-stand, nothing more. Why would it mean more to him? They didn’t even know each other. And why did it hurt her to think that it wouldn’t mean something to him? No, it meant nothing. It was best to forget about it. Yes, she wasn’t going to tell Gene. She knew how she had felt when he had told her about Zita. There was no point in hurting him if nothing was going to come from it. Even as her mind conjured reasonable arguments for turning her back on an irresponsible and impulsive night of passion, she wanted to turn and run all the way back to the penthouse suite of the Domfront Hotel. She had to get away from this town.

  “I want to leave now,” Fraya repeated.

  “Alright,” Gene said slowly. “If that’s what you really want I’ll speak to Dad and see what he can do.” He searched her eyes. “We’re going ahead with the party, aren’t we?” His voice was strained, his expression one of fear.

  “Yes, Gene,” she finally said. “We’re going ahead with the engagement.”

  He closed his eyes and tilted his head back. “Thank you. Thank you, Fraya. It would have shattered my parents too, if we couldn’t work things out.”

  “Get the suitcase, please. We need to pack.” When he hovered, she sighed. “What is it Gene?”

  “Zita doesn’t have to go home, does she? She’s frantic that you’d want her to pack up and leave, and she’s been looking forward to this holiday for a year. She’ll never earn enough points for a trip like this.”

  Her shoulders drooped. “No, Gene. Zita doesn’t have to go.”

  His eyes lit up. “Right. All is hunky-dory then. I’ll get the suitcase. And then I’ll call Dad while you’re packing.” His gaze moved over her body again. “Jesus, Fray. You’re in a state. Are you sure you’re alright?”

  She could only nod.

  He frowned. “I don’t remember that T-shirt. Is it yours?”

  She managed a smile. “Yes, it’s mine,” she said, her hand caressing the well-worn fabric.

  * * * *

  One week later Fraya stood by Gene’s side in a private reception hall of the New Monte Carlo Bay Hotel, Zone 13. She wore the black silk dress she had selected with so much care for the occasion, and Gene’s mother’s pearls. For some reason the dress didn’t give her the joy it was supposed to. The black stilettos she had packed had to be replaced with flat heels. She still walked with a limp, but her ankle wasn’t as painful as seven days before. The only pain was the unbearable arousal that tortured her.

  Nothing helped. She had tried medicine, medit
ation and even masturbation. Just thinking about it made her symptoms worse. She wrestled her mind away from the sensations assaulting her body and the stranger who was to blame, trying desperately to focus on the man next to her, her future mate.

  Despite Gene’s black tux, identical to the one his father wore, his unruly curls gave him a boyish instead of a formal look. He caught her studying him and grinned down at her.

  Nudging her with an elbow, he said, “There’s Mr. Paz, Dad’s associate I told you about.”

  “I thought it was going to be small party, just for our closest friends and family,” she said under her breath.

  “Come on, Fray, you know Mom and Dad better than that.” He lifted his arms. “Their only son is getting engaged.”

  “Mmm.” She caught Gene’s mother’s eyes from across the room and returned Rebecca’s smile. “It’s going to be a long night.”

  “Oh, look,” Gene said, “there’s Lio. Can’t wait for you to meet him.”

  “Mmm,” she said again. “I can’t wait to make your elusive best friend’s acquaintance.”

  “You would have met in Domfront, honey, but you decided you didn’t want to stay.”

  A tone of accusation had slipped into his voice. Gene’s parents had been upset about their son and future daughter-in-law’s hasty departure from Domfront, and it hadn’t been easy to put them up in Zone 13 earlier than planned, not to mention the logistic nightmare of changing the zone entry date.

  “I didn’t want to stay because...” Fraya lifted her head, and then her words dried up. She felt the color drain from her face.

  Chapter Five

  Her nipples peaked and the pain she tried so hard to ignore flared. Every nerve ending in her body exploded like fireworks. Her knees felt weak. It couldn’t be true. The very tall man in the off-white linen suit with the dark hair falling to his shoulders couldn’t be real. But there he was, his eyes locked onto hers, his gaze cool and measured, making his way toward them.