The Astronomer

by Charmaine Pauls

  “And you’re not happy about it.”

  “I am. I’m ecstatic for her. But she’ll be away from home for three months at a time.”

  “Ah. Are you upset about the separation, or upset that she’s willing to be separated from you?”

  He reflected for a while. “Both, I guess. I don’t want to not see her for ninety-odd days, and yes, I’m not happy about the fact that she’s even considering it.”

  “You would have liked to hear that she can’t live without you?”

  “Actually, yes. That would make me feel a whole lot better.”

  “Ah. Well, Fraya is an independent woman. What are you going to do?”

  “Do I have a choice? I want her to be happy, more than anything.”

  “Good answer.”

  “You truly approve of her going?”

  “I was young once. And I made sacrifices. But there’s a part of me that still resents that, that still wonders what could have been, if...”

  “But you said you wanted grandchildren. And what about all that nonsense of Fraya not being able to be a mother if she works on the other side of the country?”

  She waved her hand at him. “As a grandmother it’s my duty to say things like that.”

  “You’re saying I should let her go?”

  “I’m saying you can’t keep her caged and happy, at least not forever. She may be content for a while, the honeymoon making it all seem sweeter, but the honeymoon always ends eventually, and then she’ll wonder. She’ll regret. Let her do what she has to. You’ll have a stronger relationship for it.”

  “How are we supposed to maintain any kind of relationship when we won’t see each other?”

  “You’re seeing each other every eight days now, and it seems to work.”

  “Eight days are hardly three months.”

  “For a bright boy you’re very slow, aren’t you?”

  “What are you talking about, Grandma?”

  “So far, she’s come home to you. I think it’s about time you go to her.”

  “Go to her?”

  “You’re your own boss. You can arrange your things so that you can visit her in the desert every few days, can’t you?”

  Emilio thought about the idea for a while. “It will take a hell of a lot of maneuvering.”

  “I’m sure you’ll manage. What are you waiting for? Drink your tea–it’s getting cold–and go home to your wife.”

  Emilio didn’t know why he hadn’t thought about it himself. He promised Fraya a means to keep her career in exchange for sex when he mated her. This way, she got to keep that job, and he got to carry on seeing her. She wouldn’t have to sacrifice her dream to keep her promise of entertaining his body, and he wouldn’t have to break his promise to give her the career she wanted in turn. He could still have his year with her.

  He got up and took his granny’s face between his hands, kissing her forehead.

  “Go on.” She laughed. “Go home.”

  * * * *

  Emilio found Fraya next to the pool on Saturday morning. She wore the red bikini he liked, because it showed off her beautiful body, and dreaded, because other men had enjoyed the vision of her in it. The apprehension he saw on her face as she looked up at him made his heart miss a painful beat. She couldn’t honestly think that he’d ever deny her what was most important to her? He had been upset at the prospect of losing her last night but he’d never hold her to a promise if it meant giving up her project. What kind of a man did she take him for?

  He sat down next to her. “Fraya, I know how much this project means to you. I would never want you to give it up.”

  A frown pleated her pretty face. “You mean you’d let me go, despite my promise to give you sex whenever you want?”

  He sighed. “If that’s what I had to do,” he nodded, “I would have done it, Fraya. As for the way you put it, ‘you giving me sex whenever I want’, I had hoped that by now you wouldn’t look at it like that, but I guess it’s only my own fault. Last night ... I was upset. You caught me off guard with your news. I’m sorry for what I said about...”

  “About us not having a choice but to fuck?”

  “It’s gone further than that, Fraya. Admit it. It’s more than fucking.” When she didn’t reply Emilio’s soul went cold. “You can’t even say it, because that’s how it is for you, isn’t it? It’s just fucking.”

  She averted her eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

  “Never mind.” He didn’t seek her out to start another fight. “You’re my mate and I am looking out for you. I only carry your best interest at heart. I won’t keep you from your dream.”

  He face lit up, but at the same time the corners of her mouth dropped. “You mean you’ll let me go before the year is up?”

  “No.” He shook his head slowly. “I won’t let you go. Never before the year is up.”

  “I don’t understand,” she said in a small voice.

  “I’ll arrange my life so that I can join you every few days in the desert.”

  “Really?”

  He couldn’t decide if she was happy or disappointed.

  “Yes, really.”

  She lowered her head. “Thank you, Emilio.”

  “You deserve to have your dream, Fraya,” he said. He meant it, with all his heart.

  She looked sad. “I’m not sure I do, but if I don’t do this...”

  “I know.” He got to his feet, feeling strangely empty. Fraya didn’t love him, and possibly never would.

  “Emilio?”

  He turned to face her.

  “You didn’t come to me last night,” she said, flushing.

  “You were upset.” And his feelings were hurt.

  “Do you ... do you ... want me to ... you know?”

  “No, Fraya.” He wanted her, but not like that. He wanted her heart, her everything.

  * * * *

  Fraya couldn’t sleep. The events of the previous night and the morning played itself over in her mind. It would take enormous sacrifice from Emilio to be with her every few days. She knew and appreciated that. She even felt guilty about it, but couldn’t see any other way. Logistically, their lives weren’t easy. Up to now, she had never gone back on her word, never denied Emilio her body whenever he had wanted or needed her, and he was one hell of a demanding lover. And she loved it. She needed it. It bothered her that he hadn’t come to her since their disagreement.

  There was a night when she had gone to him and he had indulged her, in everything she had asked of him. Fraya pushed back the bedcovers with a determined movement. In the bathroom she stripped naked and tied her lilac robe around her body. She slipped out of her bedroom, down the dark hallway, and into Emilio’s room, walking to his bed with a confidence she didn’t feel.

  Emilio was turned on his side, facing the window. Even without seeing his face, she knew he was awake. She could sense the tension that had grown around him since she had entered his domain.

  “Emilio,” she whispered.

  He didn’t move. “What is it Fraya?”

  “Look at me.”

  Still no movement.

  “Emilio, please.”

  He took his time to roll onto his back, his hands folded behind his head. Fraya walked to the side of his bed and switched on his bedside table lamp. Slowly, she untied her robe and let it drop to the floor. The darkening of his eyes as they roamed over her body gave her the courage she needed.

  Fraya climbed onto the bed and straddled him before her bravery could fail her.

  “You once said I only had to ask,” she said.

  Emotions washed over his face before he hid them behind a mask. “What are you asking for, Fraya? To fuck, or to make love?”

  His words hurt, but she wasn’t going to make it another reason for arguing. Instead, she bent forward, brushing her breasts over his chest, pressing a soft kiss in his neck.

  “I’m asking for this,” she said, trailing soft kisses up to his lips.

  When
she opened her mouth slightly to taste his, he moaned and moved under her. His hands went to her hips, pressing her down onto him. Fraya could physically feel the shift in his mood. It was as if his anger abated as his muscles grew hard, his need pressing up against her. His expression was instantly tender when he cupped her face in his large hands and lifted her to gaze into her eyes.

  “Do you need, Fraya?” Without waiting for an answer he lowered his head to take her nipple into his warm mouth, drawing circles around it with his tongue.

  A soft cry escaped her lips. “No. I don’t need you.”

  He stilled and drew back to look at her once more.

  “I don’t need you, Emilio,” she said softly. “I want you.”

  His eyes widened with a new emotion she couldn’t place. When he moved, he moved fast. Within a second their positions were reversed. She found herself pinned under him, her wrists in the steel grip of his fingers.

  “Tell me again,” he said, his voice husky.

  “I want you, Emilio.”

  He gasped and then his head came down, his lips crushing hers with an urgency she had never felt in him before. Fraya wriggled and turned her head to the side, escaping his heated kiss. He froze immediately.

  “What is it, baby? Am I hurting you?”

  “Not like this,” she said, feeling shy, battling to meet his eyes.

  He sat up immediately, releasing her hands. “I’m sorry. I got carried away.” He brushed his thumbs over the curve of her breasts. “Do you want to go slow? Soft?”

  She shook her head. “Like I tried to ... do it.”

  He frowned, and then his eyes lit up in comprehension. A devilish smile plucked at his lips. “You want to be on top?”

  Fraya could feel her face flush. She bit her lip and nodded. Emilio turned, rolling on his side and then on his back, moving her with him. He settled her back in his lap until she could feel his steel hardness snugly buried between her thighs before he sighed and then moaned. Emilio’s hands cupped her breasts. He explored those curves at a leisurely pace before he slipped his palms over her ribs, fastening his fingers on her hips and moving her to where he wanted her, but Fraya lifted herself onto her knees and shook her head.

  Emilio gave her his sexy grin. “You’ve got to show me, or better yet, tell me what you want, baby,” he said. “I want to do this right for you.”

  When she slipped from the bed, his dark frown made her smile. He sulked like a boy whose toy had been taken away. She bent to retrieve the belt from her gown before she moved back over his body, trailing the band of silk over his chest, making him inhale sharply.

  He watched her like a hawk, his clever eyes measuring and most probably guessing her next move. She could see him fixing his gaze on her heaving breasts, noting her excitement, imagined him predicting her fantasy in his mind as he said in a seductive voice, “Do you want me to tie you up?”

  Fraya briefly closed her eyes when a sharp needle of lust pierced her senses as she recalled the memory, but she bit her lip again and shook her head. “I did enjoy that very much, but no, I don’t want you to tie me up tonight.”

  “Was I the first?”

  “To tie me up?”

  He nodded.

  “You know you were.”

  “Tell me again,” he said, his voice possessive.

  “You were the first to tie me up, Emilio.”

  “Was I the first to give you an orgasm?”

  “You know you were.”

  “Tell me.” His voice was hoarse now.

  “You were the first to make me come.”

  “Say, ‘You were the first, Emilio’.”

  “You were the first to make me come, Emilio.”

  “You’re mine,” he said, his beautiful blue eyes shining.

  He moved with a predator’s speed, pulling her toward him, but Fraya resisted, gently leaning back.

  “Tonight, you’re mine, Emilio.”

  When a look of confused surprise came over Emilio’s features, Fraya took his hands and kissed them.

  “Put your hands here.” She gently placed them above his head.

  “Fraya?” He sounded uncertain, but he did as she had asked and then, slowly, she saw realization register in his expression.

  “You’re going to tie me up?” he said, his voice laced with disbelief.

  “May I tie you up, Emilio, to have my way with you?” Fraya said softly. “First, I want to taste you, and then, I want to make you come in ten different ways while I watch you,” she said, quoting the very words he had once spoken to her.

  Emilio’s breath caught. She saw his pupils dilate and contract, his muscles rippling in his chest. His thighs bunched under her naked body.

  “You’d like that, Emilio, won’t you?”

  He didn’t answer. He watched her narrowly, lust and something more, something deeper, etched into the line of his mouth and the tight set of his jaw.

  “Woman, you don’t know what you’re doing.”

  She took the silk fabric and tied his wrists to the posts of the headboard before she slipped from the bed, retrieved two scarves from his closet and repeated the procedure with his feet. Fraya felt nervous, embarrassed even, but she wanted him to understand the depth of her passion, to show him how much more she wanted than needed him. He lay exposed in front of her, at her mercy, like she had once laid in front of him, and she wanted to give him all the pleasure she could muster from all the gods of love and beyond.

  Knowing how much Emilio liked to watch her naked, she placed her knees over his thighs. Painstakingly slow she started to touch herself, just like he had taught her. She licked her fingers and pinched her nipple, while her other hand went to his lips, finding the hot moistness of his mouth before bringing it back to her body, trailing her fingers between her breasts and down her tummy until... Emilio swore. She could see him strain against his restraints, his head lifting from the mattress, his eyes smoldering.

  “Baby,” his raspy voice held a warning, “I’m going to lose control.”

  “Shhh,” she said, running the tip of her fingers up his thigh.

  Emilio uttered a hoarse cry. “Fuck, Fraya. Don’t tease.”

  She moved her body over his, sliding down slowly, evoking more tortured groans from him, caressing his skin with her breasts and her thighs, until she could feel him arching up.

  She flicked her tongue over his stomach, following his happy trail, causing Emilio’s body to twitch under her.

  “Keep still,” she chided. “I want to taste you.”

  She teased him gently, lapping softly and enjoying the feel of him against her tongue. She could hear his breathing becoming strained.

  “Fraya.” Her name on his lips was a single sigh.

  She rewarded him with more pressure where she knew it mattered, suckling, scraping her teeth over his engorged flesh while her hands flattened over his tight tummy before curling over the V of his hips and around his hard bottom. She moaned into her kiss, making him lift his back off the mattress. With a demand that matched her desire she moved over him with her mouth, her hands, her body, sliding up so that she could press her heart to his, feel its erratic beat echo in her veins.

  In the next instant Emilio’s loud curse rang through the room, followed by the sound of fabric ripping. Lost in her own euphoria, Fraya was shocked to suddenly feel his hands on her hips. His fingers bit into her flesh as he tried to lift her, to take her, but she moved her lips to his ear and whispered, “At my pace, darling.”

  Emilio’s movements stilled. He clenched his jaw. “I can’t hold back much longer, Fraya.”

  She kissed his lips and smiled into the caress. “You weren’t supposed to free yourself.”

  “Fraya,” his voice was tight, “I won’t be responsible for my actions if you carry on like this.”

  “I’ll have to buy a new robe,” she teased.

  “Baby...” He gritted his teeth. “You’re driving me too far.”

  “Never mind the restraints.�
� She took his hands and moved it above his head once more. “We’ll just pretend that you’re tied up.”

  “Fraya, I can’t hold back. I’m going to fuck you senseless.”

  “Just a little bit longer,” she cooed, “and then you can have your wicked way with me.”

  She lifted herself over him gently, taking him slowly, inch by inch, feeling him holding his breath, hearing him grinding his teeth, seeing him bunching his jaw. Her mate was crazy for her body and it warmed her heart. She took him slow and easy, as if every second was the last second they had together, and when she sensed that he was on the verge of losing all reason, she fell forward onto his chest, lifting his hands around her back and whispered the words she knew he needed into his neck.

  “I’m yours, Emilio. Take me now.”

  He didn’t hesitate. He slammed into her, pulling her up and back down, taking her with wild madness. Fraya cried out with the force of the pleasure.

  “Fraya, baby.” He groaned loudly. “Oh God. You drive me wild.” His hands pulled at her hair, drawing her head back so he could see her face. “I want to see you come for me. That’s it, baby. Don’t close your eyes. I can’t get enough of you.”

  He took her hard and fast, his cries and movements those of a man hungry for his woman, a man possessed. She let him flood her senses, allowed herself to be lost in him and felt the heat that came from their mating fulfill her body, while the words he moaned in her ear fulfilled her soul.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Emilio had gone for a run and now hurried through the shower, eager to be at Fraya’s side when she opened her eyes. Their lovemaking of the previous night had been more explosive than anything he had ever experienced with her. She had said that she wanted him. It was the first time she had admitted to the sex between them being anything more than a physical necessity and it lifted his dwindling hope of the day before.

  When he reentered his room, fully dressed, his mate was still stretched out in his bed, her tiny body taking up such a small portion of the mattress that he felt a surge of protectiveness engulf him. He brushed his lips over the birthmark on her shoulder. He watched her stretch and smile, and only then did she open her eyes.