Finding Solace

by C. J. Allison

  “He wants to yell it from the rooftops. It’s killing him not to start handing out cigars. He’s been extra attentive, if that is even possible. I mean the guy is normally all in to taking care of me. Now? I’m surprised he doesn’t want to wipe my ass when I take a shit. He probably does, but I need to draw the line there,” she laughs.

  “Oh Akia, I’m so excited for you,” I say, reaching out to grab her hand.

  “You know you will be the Godmother, right? Gracie, you are my best friend and I’ve always thought of you as a sister. I want you to be a part of my little baby’s life. You know the only reason you weren’t my maid of honor was because I wanted you paired up with Zee. Plus, Macy would have had a breakdown if I didn’t ask her. I had no problem giving her that responsibility. There’s no way I will let her have responsibility of my child. So, will you?” she asks.

  At this moment, I’m overcome with emotions and start crying uncontrollably. “Of…course…” I choke out.

  “Oh my God. Why are you crying? It’s not that big of a deal, babe,” Akia says, coming around the table and hugging me from behind.

  “It is a big deal, Akia. God, I’m so honored,” I say, wiping my face. “Don’t mind me. It’s that time of the month. I’ve been full of emotions lately. I broke down this morning with Pam. That and with it being this time of year, I’m just an emotional mess. I’m okay…please people are starting to stare,” I say, rubbing her arm that is around me trying to laugh it off.

  “Wait till you get pregnant. Girl, I’m crying because you are crying and you know I don’t cry easily,” Akia says, taking her seat and wiping the tears from her face. “Doug keeps thinking he’s doing something wrong when I break down out of nowhere.”

  “Look at us,” I say laughing. “You would think I was pregnant, too,” I say and then stop laughing. “I’m on the pill. I take it the same time religiously every day. I can’t possibly be pregnant.”

  Akia throws up her hand and yells, “Check. Girl, you know Zeke has super powers, right? The pill’s disclaimer isn’t a one hundred percent guarantee for a reason. I’m so excited. We could be fat and pregnant together. I’ll have a girl and you’ll have a boy. They’ll grow up and get married and give us grandbabies.”

  “You are getting way ahead of yourself,” I say nervously. “I’m not pregnant.”

  “Just give me this, will you? Come on. We can grab some ice cream and pregnancy tests and watch girly movies. Regardless of the results, this will be fun.” She boxes up the remainder of the food and pays the check. “Don’t look at me that way. I’m not letting this food go to waste. Momma and baby need nourishment. Which you will need, too.”

  “Akia. Stop. I’m not pregnant for Christ’s sake,” I say. I can’t stop laughing at her excited actions. This is so not like her. “Okay, if it will make you happy, let’s go. Just don’t be disappointed when the results are negative.”

  ♦♦♦

  Five pregnancy tests line the bathroom counter. All are positive. Akia is bouncing up and down, while I’m pacing the bedroom in disbelief.

  “How?” I say.

  “Well, when two people love each other, the daddy sticks his penis in the mommy…” Akia starts and I begin laughing and crying at the same time.

  “Stop! Smart ass. You know what I mean,” I say, plopping down on the bed and cradling my head in my hands.

  “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help it. Are you okay? I mean you are happy about this, right? Here I am making fun and you could not want this. You want this right?” Akia says, sitting beside me and rubbing my back.

  “I don’t know what I think right now. I need to process this. I mean, yeah, I guess I’m happy. I don’t know if I’m ready for a baby, though. I mean, Zeke and I are still getting to know one another. It’s just happening so fast. What if he thinks I planned this to trap him or something?” I say, trying to get my head around this situation.

  “Really? You think Zeke isn’t going to pound his chest like Tarzan and be excited about this? You know Zeke better than any of us. The grown-up Zeke that is. All the time you spent trekking across the country home together you get to know someone really fast that way. Besides, the odds of you getting pregnant on the pill are astronomically low. This is meant to be. I just know it,” Akia says, standing and pulling me up to my feet. “So now our pregnant asses can indulge in guilt free ice cream together. Come on, I’m in the mood for a Rom Com.”

  I place my hand on my belly and smile. I’m pregnant. I can’t believe it. Akia is right. Zeke is going to be ecstatic. We grab a container of ice cream each and queue up a movie. We both end up falling asleep and are woken by Zeke’s arrival home.

  Akia stretches and gives us both a hug and a kiss and heads home. I’m nervous. I’m not sure if I should tell him right now or what to do.

  I clean up the ice cream containers and turn off the TV. Zeke has already headed up to bed.

  “Babe, what the fuck is this?” I hear him yell from upstairs.

  Shit. I left the tests out on the counter. Is he mad?

  Zeke

  I haven’t had a whole lot of time to spend some one on one with Dad. It seems like we all get together in groups, which is amazing, but I’ve been wanting it to be just him and me.

  “Did you really know Mom was the one the first time you met?” I ask as we sit down to eat at a local restaurant.

  “Absolutely. Your mom did, too, it just took a while to break through the wall of insecurities she had. Your mom can be one stubborn woman. You get that from her, you know?” he says chuckling.

  “Hey, I’m not stubborn…. much,” I say. “Gracie is the one. I know it, but I feel like she thinks I’m moving too fast. I know she feels it, too, but I worry that I’m being too pushy.”

  “There’s a difference between being pushy and being determined. You can act with conviction and strength without being disrespectful of her feelings. Just remember to always be honest with her and never stop communicating your feelings,” Dad says.

  I’ve always respected my dad and looked up to him. He has a way of making everything clear. He seems to always have control over everything. I cringe when I think of how much the loss of control over me must have affected him. I never really thought about it or his feelings.

  “Dad. I’m sorry for the way I left back then. I’m also sorry for staying away for so long. You know I never intended to hurt you or Mom, right?” I say with as much sincerity that I can muster.

  “Ezekiel. You are my boy. We’ve been through this already. Stop beating yourself up about it. You are home now. Grab the girl and make a home with her. Give your Mom and me some grandbabies and all will be forgiven,” he says grinning.

  “Let me convince her to marry me first, Dad,” I say, shaking my head.

  When I get home, I see Gracie and Akia curled up and asleep on the couch. I laugh when I see the empty containers of ice cream on the coffee table.

  They both stir awake and Akia announces that she needs to head home. Gracie immediately gets up and starts cleaning up the mess, avoiding making eye contact. I’m not sure what that’s all about. Her emotions have been all over the place lately.

  I head up to get ready to bed and see a line of pregnancy tests on the bathroom counter. Picking one of them up, I see it’s positive and immediately yell out, “Babe, what the fuck is this?”

  Gracie appears in the doorway with a shocked look on her face. “Akia is pregnant,” I say, looking back down at the tests. That’s got to be it. It would explain the indulgence in ice cream.

  “Well, yeah actually she is,” Gracie says looking at her feet. “But those aren’t hers.”

  “Wait. What?” I say, feeling my heart beat increase in speed.

  “Those aren’t hers,” she repeats, looking up with a shy smile on her face.

  I immediately rush over to her and pull her into my arms. “Are you saying what I think you are saying? But you are on the pill. Did you miss a day? Or do I have super sperm? Please tell me
I have super sperm because that would be the most awesome thing I could hear right now. Besides hearing that I’m going to be a fucking dad. Holy shit. I’m going to be a fucking dad,” I say, sweeping Gracie up in my arms and walk her across the hall to the bedroom.

  Gracie is giggling against my neck and places a soft kiss against my jaw. “Just like you, your sperm must have ninja skills. I never missed a day. Are you okay with this? I mean I know we’ve talked about it jokingly, but it’s no longer a joke. This is real. We are going to have a baby, Zeke. Shit, I don’t know if I’m ready for this,”

  “Super sperm! I knew it. Sweet girl, I couldn’t be happier. Yeah, it wasn’t planned, but obviously, it is meant to be. I mean, I love you. You are my future. This baby is a miracle in a sense. It just makes it more real that we are meant to be,” I say, setting her down on the bed and dropping to my knees.

  I place my hand against her stomach and look up at her beautiful face. I feel my throat start to choke up, and I feel like my eyes are starting to well up with tears.

  Running her thumbs under my eyes, I see a tear roll down her cheek. “I love you so much. I knew something was off, but never did I think it was this. Akia and I are going to be fat and cranky together.”

  “So, she is really pregnant, too?” I ask.

  “Yeah, she told me at dinner and asked me to be the baby’s godmother. As we were talking, things started rolling through my head, the same with Akia. I took the tests just to get her to be quiet about it all, never thinking it would be true,” she says, placing her hand over top of mine.

  “You need to be careful at work. I don’t want you to be lifting heavy shit anymore. Make an appointment so you can get on those vitamins that pregnant women take,” I say, standing up and starting to pace.

  “Zeke, please don’t be like Doug. Akia says she can barely take a shit without him trying to look in on her,” she laughs.

  “I knew I liked him. I’m going to apologize now for my over protectiveness. But not only do I have you to worry about, I now have my kid in there. We can still have sex though, right? Because my testosterone is off the charts right now just thinking I beat the odds and got you pregnant. I mean, look I’m hard as a rock here, babe,” I say, pointing at my crotch. She starts laughing and shaking her head. “Hey, it’s a man thing. I can’t help it.”

  “Yes, we can have sex. I think I would die if we couldn’t. I’ve been thinking about it all day, for the past week. It’s like I can’t get enough,” she says as she stands and starts quickly peeling off her clothes.

  “Beautiful,” I say, mimicking her as I start taking off my clothes just as fast.

  We make slow, passionate love. I pour everything I can into my touches and kisses. This beautiful woman is carrying my child. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have found my soulmate. I fall asleep with the woman I love in my arms and a smile on my face.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Giving Thanks

  Zeke

  The women have both kitchens going full steam. The men are all sitting around the living room, drinking beers, and watching football. I know I sound like a broken record, but I can’t believe I opted out of experiencing this all those years. I made a couple of Thanksgivings, don’t get me wrong, but this one just seems more significant.

  I know I can’t say anything about Gracie being pregnant yet. We found out that she’s four weeks along, which means my super sperm pretty much hit the target on the first try. I was worried that her taking the pill the whole time would be bad for the baby, but the doctor reassured us that everything would be fine.

  I have the grainy black and white photo tucked in my wallet. My baby. It looked like nothing but a bean, but it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Except for the smile on Gracie’s face. If I can’t make the announcement about the baby yet, I plan on making up for it.

  Doug keeps giving me knowing glances and smiles. I guess Akia let the cat out of the bag and he knows. I’m kind of glad that he does, at least I have someone I can talk to that’s going through the same thing right now.

  We hear an announcement that the food is ready. All of us get up and head into the dining room. We have tables lined up through to the kitchen. I look through the dining room through the kitchen and see that the mud room door is open. There’s a table set up in view where all the kids are getting into seats.

  Dad clears his throat and gets little response. He finally whistles loudly and the whole house and apartment go quiet. We bow our heads and hold hands as he says grace. The moment “Amen”’ rings out, the buzz of voices are raised once again.

  We are all finished and just sitting around talking. I take this opportunity to make my move. I stand and ask for everyone’s attention.

  Taking Gracie’s hand in mine, I pull her up to her feet. “Gracie Lynn Murray. I know it seems like we’ve just met, but as my dad says, when you know, you know. I loved you the moment I scared the shit out of you that first day. When you looked up at me, you literally knocked the breath out of me with those soft sky blue eyes.”

  Reaching into my front pocket, I pull out a ring and get down on one knee. “Will you do me the honors of saying you will be my wife, my partner, the mother of my children and make me the happiest man on this earth? Marry me?” I ask.

  “Oh my God Zeke. I…can’t…wow…you are full of surprises. Of course, I will marry you,” she says, holding out her left hand and letting me slip the ring on her finger.

  I stand and pull her into my arms as cheers of congratulations fill the house.

  Gracie

  When Zeke stood up and got everyone’s attention, I started to get mad. He promised that he wouldn’t say anything. It’s too early. Then he gets down on one knee and blows me away. He proposed. I’m still in shock as I look down at the brilliant diamond sitting on my finger.

  I can still see the smile on my dad’s face. I’m so glad he was here to experience this with me.

  The men all retire to the living room to continue to watch football. The women clean up and put away all the leftovers. Each of them come over and look at the ring and ooh and ahh over it.

  Akia and I set out all the desserts and ask if any of the guys want any. We see a few hands go into the air and I laugh that they are so into the game on the TV.

  We put some goodies onto plates and carry them in, handing them out. I’m pulled into Zeke’s lap and feel him press his groin into my backside. I’m wondering if it’s possible for us to sneak away for a quickie as I grind down on him.

  I grab the plate out of his hand and take a big forkful to disguise my moan. Handing the plate back, I stand and quickly run up the stairs, looking at Zeke and smiling.

  He looks around and sees that everyone is so into the game and not paying attention. He quickly stands and sets his plate on the coffee table following me up the steps.

  “We have to be quick and quiet,” I say, pushing my tights down my legs and bending over the bed.

  Zeke pushes the door shut and locks it, undoing his pants and pushing them down over his ass. He’s completely erect and I can almost see it pulsing.

  There’s no time for foreplay, I’m soaking wet anyways and am ready for him. I feel him enter me in one thrust as I slam back against him. With his hands digging into my hips, he pounds in and out of me, and I can quickly feel myself starting to fall over the edge. Zeke reaches around me and starts rubbing my clit which makes me see stars. Within seconds, I’m grunting out my orgasm as quietly as I can as I feel him swell inside of me, grunting out his release.

  “Damn I needed that, sweet girl,” Zeke says, pulling out and grabbing a dirty shirt to wipe me off.

  “You can say that again. I think I need a nap now though. Turkey and sex is a deadly combination,” I laugh, pulling my leggings back up.

  “I love you. Promise me that this will be a tradition every Thanksgiving, hell every holiday, every party. Such a turn on to know we have a house full of people,” he says, taking me into his ar
ms and giving me a sweet kiss.

  As we descend the steps, Bradley looks back over the couch at us throwing a thumbs up. “Pulled a Bradley, huh? Damn I miss those. Tell your Aunt Carrie I need to see her quick.”

  I can feel my face heating up and I’m sure I’m blushing. Zeke kisses my temple and smacks my ass as I hurry away to get out of the living room and away from humored faces.

  ♦♦♦

  I’m exhausted. It took me everything to remain awake until ten. I didn’t want to add any suspicion and head to bed before all the guests were gone. So, I stuck with it and powered through. You know how hard it is to accomplish this on no caffeine? I don’t know how I’m going to make it through eight more months of no coffee.

  I crash into bed and curl under the covers and Zeke follows behind, pulling me into his front. He kisses my shoulder and I snuggle into him closer.