Nobody's Girl

by Kitty Neale

  ‘I can’t believe it, Gran. You know Pearl, and at any time did she strike you as a tart? Maybe I should talk to her again, hear her side of the story. She may not want to marry Kevin, and if she doesn’t—’

  ‘No, Derek,’ Connie quickly interrupted, ‘don’t even think about it. She pulled the wool over my eyes and yours, but she’s a slut all right. She was going out with you, but that didn’t stop her from inviting Kevin up to her room and offering him sex. As Dolly said, Pearl thought he was a better catch and set out to trap him. I reckon she was hoping to get pregnant, but kept you on the side just in case her scheme didn’t work. Christ, love, ain’t the fact that she’s carrying another man’s child proof enough?’

  Derek’s eyes darkened. ‘Yeah, you’re right, but I’m off to find Kevin. No matter what Dolly said, he still slept with my girl and he deserves a slap.’

  ‘No!’ Connie cried, jumping to her feet and grasping Derek’s arm. ‘Think before you act. Kevin ain’t to blame. Pearl made a mug of him, just as she did you, and now he’s lumbered with marrying her.’

  Derek’s huge hands clenched into fists, veins bulging on his forehead. ‘All right, I won’t touch Kevin Dolby, but I’m going to the gym. I’ve got to take my anger out on something, so it had better be a punch bag.’

  Connie sagged as the door slammed behind Derek. She’d done it, talked him out of attacking Kevin Dolby, and now she slumped onto the chair again. The room was quiet, with only the ticking of a clock breaking the silence as her thoughts raged. Yes, Dolly had bent the truth in some way, but she was trying to protect her son and it was understandable. Anyway, there was no getting away from the fact that Pearl had used Derek. Tears filled Connie’s eyes. The girl had broken his heart and she dreaded how long it would take him to get over it.

  24

  It was seven o’clock that evening when Kevin sneaked out of the café. At first he’d balked at the idea of marrying Pearl, but his mother had been relentless – until he reluctantly accepted his fate.

  He knocked on Bessie Penfold’s door, just wanting to get this over with so he could go down the pub and drown his sorrows. The old woman glared at him, but he forced a tight smile. She was another one like his mother, a dominant, mouthy old woman, whom he usually kept well away from.

  ‘Yeah, what do you want?’

  ‘I’d like a word with Pearl.’

  ‘You’d better come in then.’

  Kevin stepped into the shop and through the back, following her upstairs. When they reached the first landing Bessie stood at the bottom of another flight of stairs, her voice loud for such a tiny woman. ‘Pearl, you’d better come down here. There‘s someone to see you.’

  ‘I’d like to speak to her alone.’

  ‘Yeah, I bet you would, but that’s up to her.’

  It was obvious that Pearl was shocked to see Kevin. He forced a smile. ‘You and me need to talk – and in private.’

  ‘Yes, all right.’

  Bessie pointed to the front room. ‘You can talk in there. If you need me, girl, I won’t be far away.’

  They stepped into the room, Pearl immediately sitting on an old sofa, her body stiff with tension. She opened her mouth to speak, but Kevin interrupted.

  ‘It’s my baby, ain’t it?’ he said without pre amble.

  Her eyes widened. ‘Yes, but how did you know?’

  ‘You told my mother that it wasn’t Derek’s so it didn’t take much working out. Anyway, that’s why I’m here. She sent me to see you.’

  ‘Your mother sent you? But why?’

  ‘Because I owned up.’

  ‘You told her! Oh, Kevin. What did she say?’

  ‘What do you think? She ain’t too pleased, but she says we’ve got to get married.’

  ‘Oh, thank God.’

  ‘Thank my mother. We’re to make the arrangements straight away, and after the wedding we’ll live with my parents.’

  ‘Live with them! But—’

  ‘You heard me. I ain’t working so we’ve no choice. When I can raise some money we’ll move out, but until then it’s good of my mum to put us up. Oh, yes, and though you can have the weekend off, she wants you back at work on Monday morning.’

  ‘No, please, I can’t face her, or Derek, and—’

  ‘Mum’s had a word in Derek’s ear,’ Kevin cut in, ‘and you’ve got to face her sooner or later.’

  ‘She spoke to him? What did he say?’

  ‘I dunno, I wasn’t there, but he knows we’re getting married.’

  Pearl’s eyes were moist. ‘He’ll never forgive me.’ Her voice rose. ‘Kevin, please, I can’t face him yet. I don’t want to work in the café, I … I’d rather stay here.’

  ‘Well, that’s too bad. Mum said something about damage control and she wants you back – so that’s that. Until we’re married, you can kip down here, but there’s no reason why you can’t return to work.’

  ‘No, please, Kevin.’

  ‘Look, you know my mother. If you don’t show up she’ll come over here and drag you back.’

  ‘She … she’d do that?’

  ‘I wouldn’t put it past her. Anyway, after your shift on Monday, we’re to go to the registry office in Wandsworth.’

  ‘That soon?’

  ‘Yeah, that soon. Pleased, are you?’ Kevin asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

  ‘I … I wasn’t sure that you’d marry me, so yes, but … but you don’t seem very happy about it.’

  ‘I’m being forced to marry you, so what do you expect?’

  Pearl’s eyes widened. ‘I … I’m not forcing you.’

  No, Kevin thought, she wasn’t. It was his bloody mother. Pearl was leaning forward, arms wrapped around her body. Gazing at her, he realised that it might not be so bad after all. Pearl was a meek little thing, the antithesis of his mother, and he found himself looking forward to having her under his control. She’d be on hand whenever he wanted her, the sex free. He’d teach her a thing or two, show her what he liked and, now smiling, he said, ‘Look, I know you’re not forcing me. It’s just come as a bit of a shock, that’s all.’

  ‘You … you don’t have to marry me if you don’t want to.’

  ‘Yeah, I know, but that’s my baby that you’re carrying so we’d better get spliced.’

  She was obviously relieved, a sigh escaping her lips. ‘Oh, Kevin, do you really mean that?’

  ‘Yeah, of course I do, now come here and give me a kiss.’

  Pearl stood up, about to walk into his arms, but then the door opened, Bessie Penfold coming into the room.

  ‘Is everything all right, Pearl?’

  ‘Oh, yes. Kevin knows about the baby and wants to marry me.’

  ‘I should think so too.’

  Kevin hid a scowl. The last thing he wanted was to be in the company of this smelly old cow. He’d wanted Pearl on her own, to have a little taster, but there was no chance of that. ‘Right, Pearl, now that it’s all sorted, I’m off. I’ll see you on Monday.’

  ‘What about tomorrow?’

  ‘No can do, I’m busy,’ Kevin said.

  Pearl looked disappointed, but she nodded, but it was Bessie who moved surprisingly quickly to show him out. He clattered down the stairs, the old woman saying before she closed the door behind him, ‘I’m glad you’re doing the right thing by the girl, and I hope you treat her right.’

  She was looking at him expectantly, but tight-lipped Kevin said nothing. Bessie Penfold was an interfering old cow, sticking her nose in when he had wanted to be alone with Pearl. Christ, he thought. It would be just as bad living with his parents. He and Pearl would have no privacy and with his mother close by, there’d be no chance to indulge his fantasies. He needed to raise money, big money, to find a place of their own, and as soon as possible.

  Pearl was sitting on the sofa when Bessie walked back into the room. ‘Well,’ she asked, ‘are you happy now?’

  ‘Oh yes, except that Dolly’s insisting that I return to work on Monday. Oh, Be
ssie, I dread facing her.’

  ‘She doesn’t own you and can’t give you orders. You don’t have to go back. There’s work for you here.’

  ‘I’d love that, Bessie, but it’s impossible. After our marriage we’re to live in Dolly’s flat and if I don’t do as she says, it will only make things worse. I have to go back. I don’t have any choice.’

  ‘There are always choices.’

  ‘Not for me.’

  ‘You don’t have to marry him.’

  ‘Oh, Bessie, I was an orphan and know what it’s like to be without parents. I know I said I can bring up my baby alone, but I don’t want to deprive it of a father.’

  Bessie sighed. ‘All right. I can see you’ve made up your mind so I’ll say no more.’

  As Bessie then took a seat, Pearl said, ‘I should get my stuff from Mo’s, but I dread seeing her.’

  ‘Leave it for now. You can find a few bits in my stock to tide you over.’

  ‘Thanks, Bessie,’ Pearl said, glad of the reprieve. ‘Shall I make us a drink first?’

  ‘No, you go and sort yourself out. I’ll see to it.’

  Whilst Bessie went to the kitchen, Pearl went upstairs to the back room. It amazed her that Bessie kept so many clothes that were out of date, a lot now covered in mildew and unfit for anything but the dustbin. With careful sorting she managed to find a few things, her mind on the future now. She didn’t like the idea of moving into Dolly’s flat, but hopefully it wouldn’t be for long. Once Kevin found work they could find a place of their own. Her heart lifted. They’d be a proper family, her baby with both a mother and father.

  An hour later, Pearl and Bessie were sitting companionably in old, threadbare chairs by the fire. Though Pearl was happy, she still dreaded facing Dolly on Monday morning. She glanced across at Bessie, seeing that the old woman was staring into the flames.

  Curious, she asked, ‘Bessie, you said our paths would cross again and you were right. Can you really see into the future?’

  Bessie turned, gazing at Pearl as though looking into her soul. ‘Yes, but not at will.’

  ‘But Derek’s gran …’

  ‘Go on, girl.’

  ‘No, it’s nothing.’

  Bessie chucked. ‘I can guess what Connie Lewis said. Like many bitter women, she thinks I’ve done her out of money. I suspect she said my powers are false too, but truth be known it’s because I didn’t tell her what she wanted to hear. Am I right?’

  Pearl avoided Bessie’s eyes. ‘She didn’t mention that, but she wasn’t happy with the amount you gave her for her husband’s clothes.’

  ‘Christ, that was during the war. Connie must have a memory like an elephant. I can’t remember how much I gave her, but times were hard then and a lot of men died in action. When that happened I was offered their clothes, but there was a glut and it was stuff I knew I wouldn’t be able to shift. Still, I did the best I could to help out, even if I could only offer peanuts. Women’s clothes were a different matter. There was a shortage and knowing I could sell them easily, I always gave a good price.’

  Pearl digested Bessie’s words, deciding that the old lady wasn’t the skinflint that Connie had portrayed. The woman’s psychic powers intrigued her and she asked, ‘Do you make things up when you tell fortunes? I mean, you said we would help each other, and though you’ve helped me, I haven’t been able to do anything for you.’

  ‘The time will come, you can be sure of that, and somehow I know you and I will draw close.’

  ‘But how?’

  ‘Gawd, I don’t know everything, girl, and sometimes I know nothing.’

  ‘I don’t understand.’

  She looked deep into Pearl’s eyes again. ‘I rarely talk about my powers, but I feel I can trust you to keep your mouth shut. If you must know, I learned the art from my mother. She had the gift of second sight but, like with me, it didn’t come at will. In fact it rarely does. My mother taught me how to read people, and you’d be surprised at what you can glean just by studying someone. When women sit in front of me they don’t realise how much they give away, just by their actions. For instance, they sit up straighter when I hit on the subject that’s worrying them, be it money, health, their husbands or children. There are things to look out for too: a wedding ring, or a white mark where there was one. Signs of illness can show up on the skin, eyes, and even the palms.’

  ‘So you make it all up.’

  ‘Don’t look so disgusted, girl. The women who come to me are mostly desperate and looking for hope – sometimes searching for a reason to carry on. I give them that hope. When in despair they fail to realise that all things pass in time, be it sadness, pain or debt. The circle turns and, looking back later, they’ll find that somehow they got through it.’

  ‘Do you ever use second sight?’

  ‘If it’s given to me – yes, but even then it may not be what the person wants to hear so I soften it as best I can. Sometimes I make mistakes, and when I do it isn’t always pleasant. Let’s get back to Connie Lewis as an example. Many years ago she came to me for a reading. When I mentioned her daughter she suddenly stiffened, giving me the clue. I’d heard on the grapevine that her daughter had left home, but not why, and thought perhaps Connie wanted to hear that she was coming back. Instead I had a sudden flash of intuition and knew she would never see her daughter again, but I also saw a child, one that would be living with Connie. Now there was the quandary. How could I tell the woman that she would never see her daughter again?’

  ‘What did you do?’

  ‘I just said that I saw a child and she might become a grandmother. Well, Connie went mad. She accused me of listening to gossip, said I had heard on the grapevine that her unmarried daughter was pregnant. She said I’m a fake, a shyster, one who takes money from people who can’t afford it. With that she marched out, and has never spoken to me since.’

  ‘So you saw into the future and knew her daughter was going to die?’

  ‘Yes, but not the details. It doesn’t work like that, but I saw the darkness.’

  ‘Do you always see bad things?’

  ‘No, thank goodness.’

  ‘How often does it happen?’

  ‘Blimey, I don’t know. Sometimes every few days, but then it might be weeks before I get another one. Now enough. This is becoming like an inquisition. Put some milk on and we’ll have a cup of cocoa before going to bed.’

  Pearl made the drinks, thinking about Bessie and her fortune-telling. She wasn’t sure that she approved of her methods, but surely it was all right to offer people hope when they were in despair.

  Her mind gave her no answer, yet Pearl knew as she poured milk into two cups that she had clutched at this problem to avoid thinking about the café. It wasn’t only Dolly she didn’t want to face, it was the others too. There was Gertie, Madge, Mo, and worse, Derek. She would have to see him every day – see the hurt she had caused him – and it was going to be awful. The costermongers, the locals, had taken her to their heart, but what would they think of her now?

  She and Kevin were to be married, and she was happy about that, but she wished Bessie could turn on her second sight to tell her what the future had in store.

  25

  Pearl still hadn’t gone to Mo’s to collect her things; instead she spent the whole of Sunday indoors. She felt ill with nerves, her stomach churning every time she thought about returning to the café and, after a restless night, woke heavy-eyed on Monday morning.

  She forced herself to get ready, Bessie sympathetic and telling her she could still change her mind. Finally, with her head down, she emerged from the shop, feeling as though every costermonger in the market was looking at her. She didn’t look towards Derek’s stall, couldn’t bear to see his face, and was relieved to scuttle into the cafe.

  ‘Morning, love,’ Bernie said. ‘Dolly wants to talk to you before the others arrive, but listen, there’s something I want to ask you first. Kevin said that you threw yourself at him. Is that right?’


  Pearl’s eyes rounded. ‘No, I … I didn’t throw myself at Kevin, but I do like him. When I was living in my bedsit, he came up to my room and … and it just sort of happened.’

  ‘Did he force you?’

  She shook her head in denial, but then Dolly’s head emerged from behind the kitchen door. ‘Pearl, get in here!’

  With a swift, frightened look at Bernie, Pearl hurried to do her bidding, but instead of yelling in anger, Dolly’s voice was surprisingly calm. ‘Right, to start with I’ve managed to talk Derek Lewis into keeping his hands off Kevin.’

  ‘Oh, I hadn’t thought of that, but I … I didn’t tell him the baby was Kevin’s.’

  ‘Well, he knows now, and if it wasn’t for me he’d be looking for blood.’

  ‘What … what did you say to him?’

  ‘I had to convince him that my son isn’t to blame.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘If Derek thinks that Kevin took you down against your will, he’ll give him a beating. Anyway, the truth of the matter is that Kevin didn’t force you, and you can’t deny that.’

  Pearl lowered her head. Dolly was right. She had allowed it to happen. She should have been more forceful in her protest, yet in reality she hadn’t really wanted Kevin to stop. She had given in too easily, and what did that make her? Selfloathing made her stomach twist. ‘No, Kevin didn’t force me, and I don’t want Derek to hurt him.

  ‘I should think not. Derek knows you weren’t forced, but he still wants to give Kevin a hiding. I had to concoct a story, lay the blame on you, and if you want to keep Kevin safe, you’ll just have to go along with it. It ain’t gonna be easy for you. Derek is well liked around here and you’ll probably face some aggravation, but for Kevin’s sake, keep your mouth shut.’

  ‘All right,’ Pearl whispered, wondering what story Dolly had come up with. She was about to ask when the woman spoke again.

  ‘Now, there are other things to sort out. A lot of people around here would like to see me brought low, so I don’t want them thinking I’m against this marriage.’ Her lips tightened. ‘I ain’t happy about it, but nevertheless we will all put on a happy front. Is that clear?’