Nobody's Girl

by Kitty Neale

  ‘Now then, Mum, there’s no need for that. Pearl ain’t a slut.’

  ‘Don’t argue with me, Kevin. I won’t stand for it.’

  ‘Sorry, Mum,’ Kevin said meekly.

  ‘I should think so too,’ she snapped. She then glared at Pearl, adding, ‘Huh, well I suppose we had better get this farce over with.’

  Pearl felt frozen to the pavement as she watched Dolly march into the building, her mind racing as all her doubts and fears rose to the surface. It was obvious now that Kevin couldn’t stand up for her against his mother, and she shivered, unable to face the thought of living in the same flat. Kevin took her arm, but she turned wild eyes towards him. ‘I … I can’t do it. I can’t live with your mother.’

  ‘Don’t worry. It won’t be for long,’ he said, moving them forward.

  Pearl clung on to that as they stepped into the building, but she barely took in her surroundings as once again Dolly glared at her. She saw the two witnesses, acquaintances of Bernie’s, and tried to smile, but her lips quivered. Her eyes took in the large desk, the registrar, but as they stood in front on him, she barely heard his words, feeling as though Dolly’s eyes were boring into her back.

  In what felt like minutes it was over, the registrar announcing them man and wife, Pearl at last turning to look at Kevin.

  He smiled. ‘Well, that’s it, love. We’re married.’

  As he leaned forward, their lips meeting, Pearl heard Dolly’s grunt of disgust.

  Bernie, though, came to their side. ‘Congratulations,’ he said, smiling warmly.

  They had to sign the register then, Pearl unable to ignore Dolly, her hand trembling as she held the pen. It had been so quick that it felt unreal, and then the witnesses were called forward to add their signatures. They too offered their congratulations, but Dolly offered none, only saying impatiently, ‘Right, now that’s over with we can get back to the café.’

  ‘Come on, Mrs Dolby,’ Kevin said as he led Pearl outside.

  She looked down at the narrow band on her finger. Instead of being Pearl Button, she was now Pearl Dolby, and it sounded strange to her ears.

  ‘Thanks for coming,’ Bernie said to the witnesses, shaking their hands. ‘I’m sorry that we’ve got to go straight back to the café, but I’ll buy you a drink later.’

  The couple nodded, and after she had said goodbye to them, Pearl thought she saw sympathy in their faces as they walked away.

  Dolly was still morose as they drove back to Battersea High Street, but her expression changed the minute she got out of the car. Many faces were turned their way, and now with a fixed smile she spoke loudly.

  ‘Right, you two, have a nice lunch and we’ll pop a bottle of champagne this evening.’

  Bernie was out of the car too, but he leaned forward to speak to Pearl through the window. Unlike Dolly, his voice was soft. ‘I’m sorry, love. It doesn’t seem much of a wedding day. I still think we should’ve had a bit of a do.’

  ‘It’s all right, I don’t mind,’ Pearl said, and it was true, she didn’t. There had been some discussion with Kevin about a wedding reception, but she’d been unable to think of anyone other than Bessie to invite. The Dolbys weren’t a large family, and though she faced less animosity these days from the locals, she doubted any would want to attend. In the end it had been Dolly who vetoed the idea, saying that she’d spent enough money on the solicitor, and a reception was just a waste of money.

  Bernie smiled sadly, but then Dolly pulled at his arm, saying that it was about time they opened the café. For a moment they both stood on the pavement, Dolly’s smile still fixed as they waved the newlyweds off.

  Derek Lewis surreptitously watched the scene. He knew he was mad – that if anyone knew they’d tell him so to his face – but despite everything, he still loved Pearl. It was hell every time he saw her, her stomach growing with another man’s baby. Kevin’s baby. When he’d seen them leaving for the registry office, he’d reacted without thought, like an idiot running after the car. Christ, what was the matter with him? Pearl was a tart, yet he had actually wanted to stop the wedding.

  The costermonger next to Derek sniffed loudly. ‘Well at least you didn’t chase after them this time, mate.’

  ‘I know, but for a moment this morning I wanted to give the cow a slap,’ Derek lied.

  ‘Can’t say I blame you,’ the man said, turning as a customer came to his stall.

  Derek nodded, relieved that the other costermongers had believed his excuse, but he was tired of putting on an act. It was this that had sealed his decision. He’d miss the market, but at least he wouldn’t have to see Pearl every day. She was married now, and once and for all he had to put her out of his mind.

  Kevin drove to Richmond. He’d booked a table at a pub/restaurant by the river, and as it was early they’d be able to have a couple of drinks before ordering their meal. His mother had stuffed some money in his hand that morning, but she had done so begrudgingly. Kevin was worried, really worried. He hadn’t been to Soho for ages and was desperate for relief. In the past, he’d been able to manipulate his mother for extra money, but nowadays she was punishing him and was being as tight as a duck’s arse.

  It had been hell holding back with Pearl, but until she dropped the kid it would have to remain that way. ‘What did you say?’ he asked impatiently when she spoke.

  ‘I said I can’t believe that we’re really married.’

  ‘Well, we are.’

  ‘You seem upset. Are you regretting it already?’

  ‘For Christ’s sake! What do you want me to do – break out in song and dance? Now shut up and let me concentrate on the road.’

  He glanced round to see that Pearl had lowered her head, and at last he smiled. At least the silly cow didn’t answer him back and that made him feel better. He’d be the man in this relationship, and she might as well learn that from the start.

  When they arrived at the pub Kevin pointed to a table, and as Pearl took a seat he went up to the bar. The landlord was a short, stocky man, looking harassed as he issued orders to several young women in waitress uniforms. It seemed that this wasn’t only a restaurant, there was a function room too, one that had been booked for a wedding party.

  Kevin listened with interest. The pub was in a prime riverside location, and the bloke must be raking it in. An inkling of an idea began to form, but one that would need careful planning – along with insider knowledge. Almost on cue a tall, plain-faced barmaid came to take his order.

  ‘Hello, love,’ he said, giving her his best smile.

  She flushed, but her eyes lit up with interest. ‘What can I get you, sir?’

  ‘A pint of bitter and an orange juice,’ he said, and by the time he was carrying the drinks to their table, he knew he’d cracked it. With her looks, the barmaid would be grateful for any attention, and he’d give her plenty of that whilst he fished for information.

  Kevin sat drinking his pint, his eyes constantly scanning the pub, and then anxious to get to the bar again he turned to Pearl. ‘Come on, drink up.’

  ‘I don’t want another one yet.’

  ‘Please yourself,’ he said, taking his own empty glass and smiling softly at the barmaid as she approached, ready with his favourite chat-up line.

  ‘What can I get you?’ she asked, smiling shyly.

  ‘I’ll have the same again, but I have a bit of a problem that you might be able to help me with.’

  ‘A problem?’

  ‘Yes. You see I’ve forgotten my telephone number, so could you give me yours?’

  For a moment she looked bewildered, but then, pink-faced, she smiled. ‘You … you want my telephone number?’

  ‘Yes, please.’

  As her eyes flicked to Pearl he leaned a little closer over the bar. ‘She’s just a friend.’

  ‘Mary, there’s other customers waiting,’ a voice said, and Kevin scowled as he saw the landlord approaching.

  She quickly pulled on the pump, filling his glass with bitter
, her manner brusque now. ‘Sorry,’ she mouthed as he took his money, and quickly scribbling on a scrap of paper, she passed him her telephone number.

  ‘I’ll ring you soon – very soon,’ Kevin told her, smiling as he walked away. She was a good choice, one he was sure would spill the beans.

  When they arrived back at the café, Kevin unlocked the back door to find Nora sweeping the floor. He ignored the woman as he always did, his mind still distracted. He’d lingered over the meal, too preoccupied to take much notice of the food as he ‘d watched everything, taking mental notes, but knowing that this was only the start.

  ‘Hello,’ Nora said.

  Kevin grunted, but Pearl smiled, returning the cleaner’s greetings before Kevin ushered her up to the flat. His mother was sitting by the fire as they walked in, her smile tight as she spoke.

  ‘You’re back then.’

  ‘Where’s Dad?’

  ‘He’s putting the takings into the night safe at the bank.’ She then turned to Pearl, her voice clipped. ‘Put the kettle on.’

  Pearl nodded, hurrying through to the kitchen, Dolly speaking again as the door closed. ‘The girl can make herself useful and we might as well start as we mean to go on. For instance, she can help your father with the cleaning up here.’

  ‘Hang on, Mum. She’s already working in the café, and don’t forget she’s five months pregnant.’

  ‘What’s that got to do with anything? Pearl isn’t ill. She’s just having a baby and doesn’t need treating like a china doll.’

  Kevin shrugged, unwilling to get into an argument. If Pearl didn’t want to take on the cleaning it would be up to her to say so but, knowing his mother, he doubted it would do any good. What she said went, both in the café and up here in their flat.

  ‘Hello,’ Bernie said as he returned. ‘How was the meal?’

  ‘Fine.’

  ‘Where’s Pearl?’

  It was Dolly who answered. ‘She’s making a cup of tea, and I’ve told Kevin that she can take over cleaning the flat.’

  ‘Blimey, don’t you think that’s a bit much? After all, the girl’s having a baby.’

  Dolly’s face darkened. ‘I worked like a dog when I was carrying Kevin, and I don’t remember you protesting.’

  Bernie lowered his eyes, and Kevin knew that, like him, his father was unwilling to argue with her. Once again his determination rose. There was no way Pearl was going to rule him. In fact, he would start right now, and this might be a way to earn a few Brownie points with his mother. If he could soften her up, she might be persuaded to give him a few quid.

  When Pearl came back into the room, Kevin waited until she had put the tray down before speaking. ‘Now that you’ve moved in with us, I think we need to sort out a few things. My mother’s worn out after working in the café all day, and as she has agreed to let us live here rent free, I think you should take on the cleaning.’

  Kevin threw a glance at his mother, pleased to see that she was positively beaming at him. He flushed with pleasure and then turned this attention to Pearl again, awaiting her reaction.

  She was frowning, and for a moment he thought she’d protest, but then with a small nod she said, ‘Of course I’ll do the cleaning.’

  ‘Don’t worry, I’ll give you a hand,’ Bernie said, ‘and why are we having tea? I thought you said we’d celebrate with champagne, Dolly.’

  ‘Don’t be stupid, and what’s to celebrate? I only said that for the benefit of the locals. Champagne indeed! We’re not made of money, you know.’

  Kevin frowned, dreading an evening spent with his parents, something he usually avoided like the plague. Hang on! He’d decided that marriage wasn’t going to change his lifestyle, hadn’t he? There was nothing to stop him from going out later for a drink with the boys.

  At eight o’clock Kevin was ready. Pearl looked surprised when he told her he was going out, but he’d told her in no uncertain terms that his mates wanted him to have a celebratory drink. She looked upset, but he ignored it, only flinging her a wave as he left.

  Nobby and Dick looked surprised when they saw him walk into the pub, both offering to buy him a drink, but it was Dick who got them in.

  ‘Where’s your lovely wife?’ Nobby asked.

  ‘Indoors, where she’s supposed to be.’

  ‘And no doubt waiting for you to come home to bed,’ Dick leered as he handed out the pints.

  ‘Of course she is. Marriage has some compensations and I’ll give her a good seeing to later.’

  Nobby smirked. ‘In that case you’d better go easy or you might get the brewer’s droop.’

  ‘No chance of that,’ Kevin bragged.

  ‘Have you heard the news about Derek Lewis?’ Kevin stiffened. ‘No.’

  ‘He’s been offered a full-time job at the gym.’

  ‘Oh yeah, doing what?’

  ‘Old Jack Spencer is retiring and Derek’s taking over. He’ll be managing the gym, and is already talking about offering more kids boxing lessons.’

  ‘What about his stall?’

  ‘According to the jungle drums, he’s keen to give it up, and you can’t blame him.’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘Come on, mate, it doesn’t take much working out. Pearl made a fool of him, but I reckon he still ain’t over her. I know she’s your wife now, but a lot of people ain’t got any time for her.’

  Kevin relaxed. Yeah, Pearl had taken the fall, and as long as the locals continued to think that, he had nothing to worry about. He finished his beer, but with little money left he knew he only had enough for one round. ‘Well, mate, if they ain’t got any time for my wife, that’s just too bad. Now me, I’m gonna have another drink.’

  Kevin ordered three pints and the conversation turning to horse racing – a sure bet that Nobby was going to place the next day. ‘This one’s a cert,’ he bragged.

  ‘According to you they’re all certs, but I reckon it’s a mug’s game.’

  ‘No it ain’t,’ he protested. ‘I won a few bob yesterday.’

  ‘Yeah, and you’ll lose it tomorrow.’

  Nobby protested, and for a while went on about the virtues of the horse he’d been tipped would win.

  ‘If you want to waste your money that’s up to you, but right now, as you’re so flush, when we’ve finished these, it’s your round.’

  Nobby got them in, and as they stood chatting a few people came up to congratulate Kevin, but he felt it was half-hearted. None offered to buy him a drink, and as he swallowed the last dregs in his glass, Kevin decided he’d have to leave before his turn came round again.

  ‘Right, I’m off to service my lovely wife.’

  The others laughed, and as Kevin walked outside, the cold air hit him. He wasn’t drunk, it would take more than three pints to do that, but he felt mellow. It only took him a few minutes to walk home, and as he went upstairs to the flat he found it in darkness. With such an early morning start, his parents were rarely up after ten, and doing his best to tiptoe, he made for his bedroom.

  Pearl was sitting up in bed when he walked in, the bedside light illuminating her wan face. She looked miserable, her huge eyes moist as she gazed at him.

  ‘For Gawd’s sake, what’s the matter with you?’

  At his tone she stiffened, her reply barely a whisper. ‘N … nothing.’

  With a new double bed in it, the room was a bit cramped, and though Kevin knew he still had to go easy with Pearl, he consoled himself with the thought that any sex was better than nothing. With a grin he threw off his clothes, and scrambled in beside her. ‘Good, glad to hear it. Now come here and give me a cuddle.’

  As Pearl put her arms around him, Kevin became instantly aroused. Yes, he thought, marriage did have compensations. His hand lifted her nightdress and she groaned softly as he stroked her inner thigh.

  Gently, he told himself as he positioned himself above her, fighting to control the need to hurt – to dominate.

  ‘Kevin, did you loc
k up?’ his mother’s voice boomed as she barged into the room.

  He froze above Pearl, his erection dying instantly. ‘Christ, Mum, you could have knocked.’

  ‘Huh, yes, I can see that,’ she said, her voice and face showing her disgust as Pearl fought to pull the blankets over them. ‘Now, as I said, did you lock up?’

  ‘Of course I did.’

  ‘Good,’ she said, her lips curling with distaste, ‘and if you don’t mind, keep the noise down. Some of us are trying to sleep.’

  Kevin felt sick as memories of his childhood rose to haunt him. As a little boy, if he so much as touched his penis, his mother reacted with disgust, the same look he was seeing on her face now. She would tell him that he was a dirty little boy, filthy, and if he touched himself again, she wouldn’t love him.

  She turned on her heels, leaving the room, and Kevin now felt Pearl trembling beside him. He forced the memories away, turning on his side to gather her in his arms. Softly he began to caress her.

  ‘No, please, we can’t,’ she said, her body becoming rigid. ‘Your … your mother might hear us.’

  ‘Not if we’re quiet,’ he whispered. Yet as he made to mount her again, he thought he heard a noise outside their room, and tensed. Once again his erection died and he threw himself away with disgust.

  ‘I … I’m sorry,’ Pearl whispered.

  Kevin clutched at her apology. Yes, it was her fault, her bloody nerves putting him off. He turned on his side, whispered a curt good night, and then closed his eyes, the drink affecting him more than he realised as he almost immediately went to sleep.

  28

  Over a week passed, and Pearl’s dream of a happy marriage was already fading. They still hadn’t made love and she could sense Kevin’s growing impatience. It was her fault, she knew that, but with her mother-in-law just across the landing she was unable to relax. Kevin would climb into bed now, immediately turning his back, whilst Pearl remained awake, just wishing that at least he would hold her in his arms.

  Kevin went out most evenings and though Bernie tried to make Pearl feel at home when she joined them in the living room, Dolly kept her eyes glued to their small television and hardly spoke.