by Kenna Gordon
Katelin sat in silence trying desperately to make sense of the secret her mother had kept from them. As she grappled with the painful lie, Kate looked over at James and asked, “When did you know that I wasn't your daughter?”
“Katelin, you and Kasey will always be my daughters,” he said. Reaching over the table to take Kate's hand, James continued, “When your mother found out she was pregnant with the two of you she told me about her affair with Patrick. Kathleen made the choice to stay with her family. So, we found a way to make our marriage work and never spoke of it again.”
“He was here you know—after the accident,” Kate said.
“I know, Meggie called him,” was his dispassionate reply.
“Meggie called him,” she repeated trying to understand his unemotional demeanor.
“I haven't always been here for you and your sister, but whatever you need, it's yours,” James said as if he were negotiating a business deal.
As Katelin stood up to leave, she gave James a kiss on the cheek, as if to say she was sorry for the pain and hurt her mother’s affair must have caused. Glancing over at the credenza, she noticed a picture that had been taken during her first violin recital. Her mother had snapped the photo from the front row where she sat alone; her father had been too busy to attend.
Recounting the day Patrick O’Connor came to see her in the hospital; Kate remembered the look on his face. She now realized it was love she saw in Patrick’s eyes, the love a father has for his daughter, the love she had always hoped to see in the eyes of James Quinn.
Katelin felt numb as she turned to leave the office, she wanted to cry, but all she could feel was a sadness that fell heavy in the pit of her stomach.
Kate was sitting on the front porch when Bryan arrived home from work. Her brother sat down next to her and put his arm around Katelin. She could see the dazed look on Bryan's face. It must have been the same look she had on her face when Kasey read the letter their mother had written.
“You know, don't you?” She asked her brother.
“Yes, Kasey told me.”
“How is she?” Katelin asked.
“She’s angry. How are you?” Bryan asked.
“Great considering my life has been one big lie.”
“You know this doesn't change anything,” Bryan said trying to reassure Kate.
“How can you say that? Our mother had an affair with a man, my father, and we didn’t hear about it until now,” she said, her words sharp and abrupt.
“What are you going to do?” Bryan asked.
“Meggie has an address for Patrick in Dublin. I’m going to Ireland to see him...to see...my father,” Katelin said.
“You know I love both you and Kasey—nothing can change that, no matter what the two of you choose to do,”
Katelin put her head on her brother’s shoulder, “I know. I love you too,” she replied.
Hurt and confused Kate stood and headed up the stairs to the apartment.
Bryan could feel Myles standing in the door way behind him. “So, when are you going to tell her how you feel?” He asked his friend.
“It's not that simple,” Myles replied.
“It seems pretty simple to me,” Bryan said.
“Bryan, I hurt her and I don't know how to fix it.”
“I think if you love her you'll find a way,” was his friend’s simple reply.
Myles knew that Bryan was right. He knew that if he didn't let Katelin know how he really felt he might lose her forever.
Chapter Ten
Katelin checked her bag and sat down between Bryan and Kasey as she waited for her boarding call.
“Are you all right?” Kate asked her sister. “You’re looking a little pale.”
“I’m okay, it’s probably something I ate,” Kasey replied, nervously twirling her hair around her finger, while she avoided eye contact with Katelin by staring down at her feet.
“I know you have your reasons for not going back to Ireland right now, but I wish you’d change your mind.”
“I just can’t, not now.” In an effort to change the subject, Kasey announced, “Kevin called; Sean will be waiting for you at the airport in Dublin.”
“Are you Okay with that?” Katelin looked over at her sister for a response.
“With what?”
“Me...staying with Sean.”
“Of course I am. Despite our disagreements, he is a good man and I know you’ll be safe with him,” Kasey reassured her.
Katelin gave her sister a look as if to say; then you should be with him.
“Don’t go there,” Kasey scolded.
“You guys scare me when you do that mind reading thing,” Bryan laughed.
Kate began tapping her foot, she couldn't decide if she were nervous or excited about her trip to Ireland.
Bryan reached over and squeezed her hand gently. “Have you talked to Myles?”
“No.” She thought the one word answer would end the conversation, but Bryan didn’t let go easily.
“Do you think maybe you should talk to him?” Bryan continued.
“I don’t see the point, there’s nothing to talk about.”
“Yeah, right... and if anyone believes that I have some swamp land in Florida I want to sell them.” Kasey laughed at Bryan’s sarcastic remark.
“Don’t encourage him.” Kate frowned, but she knew her brother was right. Katelin knew she needed to talk to Myles, but she wasn’t ready, maybe when she returned from Ireland, she thought.
Before Bryan could continue, the attendant invited the passengers to begin boarding.
“Good timing,” He remarked.
Katelin gave her brother and sister each a hug, “I'll give you a call when I get there.”
“You'd better,” Bryan admonished, kissing her on the forehead.
Kate picked up her backpack and headed toward the gate. She had been to visit her grandparents in Ireland many times, but this trip seemed different. Feeling a pang of unease, she looked back at Kasey.
After taking her seat on the airplane, Katelin stared out the window and pondered the events of the last few years. She replayed the accident, Nick’s death, the discovery of her biological father, and the events that lead to her undeniable feelings for Myles. The events had all led her to this place, here and now. Kate’s intuition told her that this visit to Ireland would forever change the course of her life, and Kasey’s.
As the plane began its final descent Kate looked down at the island below; she saw a crazy-quilt of green and in the distance the ash gray silhouette of the Wicklow Mountains against a brooding Irish sky. Katelin understood why Kasey longed to be in this place—its wild and majestic beauty called to her, as well.
Aer Lingus, flight 737 arrived in Ireland at 8:00 pm Dublin time. She cleared customs without delay and headed toward the baggage area.
As Katelin stood waiting for her suitcase to make its way down the conveyer belt, a man with dark brown hair and the bluest eyes approached her. He had the lean muscular physique of a runner, and stood just a few inches taller than Kate.
“Katelin,” He said.
“Yes, and you must be Sean.”
“I am,” he smiled and gave her an unexpected hug. “It’s a pleasure meetin’ you.”
“I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“All good I hope,” Sean said.
“Yes, but Kasey forgot to mention how handsome you are.”
Blushing a little, Sean picked up Katelin’s bags and headed for a taxi that was waiting to take them to Sean’s apartment on the North side of the city. Kate had never spent much time in Dublin and admittedly knew the Irish countryside better than she knew the Capital of Ireland. The streets were dotted with bars and cafés, and sprinkled among them were statues of authors, statesmen, and local heroes; it was a city proud of its rich history.
“We’re home,” Sean announced as the taxi pulled up in front of a Georgian influenced, apartment building.
His residence was convenientl
y situated on the corner between a row of small shops and a pub. There was a park across the street that gave the neighborhood a suburban feel even though they were in the middle of the largest city in Ireland.
Entering one of the third floor apartments, Sean threw his keys on the table next to the door.
“Your room is through there,” he said pointing to a small guest room just off the living area.
Surveying the neatly kept living room she noticed a picture of Kasey and Sean sitting on a desk in the corner. His arms were wrapped around her; Kasey looked happy, content, not the same sister she had left in Colorado. Katelin still didn’t understand why her sister had given up her life in Ireland, her life with Sean, for a desk job in their father’s business.
“I’ll put the kettle on for tea,” Sean announced heading toward the kitchen.
“I don’t drink tea,” Katelin said politely.
“Oh, I thought...”
“I know, you thought that because Kasey likes tea—I like tea.
“Sorry.”
“No problem. We may look identical, but we’re as different as night and day.” Kate walked around the room exploring her new quarters and continued, “Kasey is fiercely independent, stubborn, opinionated, and she loves Barry’s tea. On the other hand, I am wonderful and prefer coffee.” Katelin turned and smiled at Sean.
“And you’re humble as well,” Sean retorted.
Katelin laughed, “I suppose independent, stubborn, and opinionated are the things you love about Kasey.”
“Aye, among other things.” Sean had a pleasant smile, although his eyes looked sad, and a little forlorn.
“You must be tired. You’ve had a big day.”
“I am,” Katelin yawned; the jet lag made her eyes feel heavy.
“Then let’s get you settled. If you’re needin’ anythin’ let me know,” Sean said setting her bag down in the guest room.
“I will. Goodnight Sean.”
“Goodnight then,” he replied closing the door behind him.
The next morning Sean found Katelin sitting on the balcony reading The Irish Times and drinking a cup of coffee she had retrieved from the corner store. As she read the paper Kate suddenly felt Sean staring at her from the doorway.
She turned to look at him as he said, “I am sorry for starin.”
“It’s okay; I know you miss her.” Katelin pushed the paper aside and took another sip of her coffee.
Sean let out a long deep breath and asked, “is she doin’ well?”
“Not really, she’s unhappy—Kasey misses you Sean, but you didn’t hear that from me.”
There was an uncomfortable silence before Katelin continued. “So why did the two of you breakup?”
“And what has Kasey been tellin’ you?”
“Not much...just that...you didn’t want children.” Kate hesitated before sharing the conversation she had with Kasey.
“It had nothin’ to do with children; she’s always known how I felt—I got too close.” Sean let out a despondent sigh.
“Close is scary when you’ve lost people you love,” she remarked, but Katelin was curious. If Kasey knew how Sean felt about children then what was upsetting her? It only reinforced Kate’s suspicions that Kasey was keeping something from her.
“Can I ask you something?” She continued with the questioning.
“Sure you can,” Sean said, sitting down next to her.
“How do you know Patrick?”
Sean sat back in the chair, surprised by the question, and when he didn’t respond Kate continued. “You introduced him to Kasey as a professor at the University, a little too coincidental don’t you think?”
He wavered for a moment, and then confessed. “My father, Aidan McKenna, and Patrick were best friends. Kevin and I went to live with our grandmother, after my father’s passin’. Patrick made sure we had what we needed.”
“Your father’s Aidan?” Katelin was stunned by the newest revelation.
“Aye... Aidan McKenna.”
“My mother’s childhood friend... Aidan?”
Realizing he had divulged too much Sean paused before simply replying, “Aye.”
“And you never told Kasey who your father was?”
“Patrick didn’t want us to say anythin’ until he had a chance to talk to the two of you.”
“So... Kevin showing up in Colorado, shortly after my mother’s death, was no accident. Did Patrick send him?”
“That would be a question for Patrick,” Sean said. “Katelin,” he continued. “Patrick loves the two of you, don’t be doubtin’ that. He only means to keep you safe.”
“Safe...from what?” She asked.
With one look, Sean answered her question without saying a single word.
“I know; that would be a question for Patrick.” Katelin frowned, answering her own question.
The newly disclosed information seemed overwhelming, and Kate felt as though she had more questions than answers.
After finishing her coffee, Katelin dressed for her visit with Patrick.
Sean handed Kate a map with directions to her father’s apartment. “Are you sure you don’t want me comin’ along?” He asked.
“I’m sure, but thank you.” Katelin knew that this was a journey she needed to make on her own. Patrick O’Connor’s apartment was only a fifteen minute walk from Sean’s, and she was hoping that the fresh air would help clear her mind.
Kate walked along the streets of Dublin, carefully following the directions Sean had given her. Patrick’s home was located in an area of the city rich with Georgian history. Red brick buildings with brightly colored doors lined the streets like soldiers standing at attention. The lush green courtyard was a tranquil oasis in the middle of the cities hustle and bustle. Kate began carefully reading the addresses posted on each door until she came to number 30 Mountjoy Square. She hesitated for a moment before opening the large red door and climbing the stairs to Patrick’s apartment; her apprehension grew with each step until she reached his door—and knocked.
A distinguished looking man with bright blue eyes and light brown hair, slightly graying at the temples opened the door, the same man she had seen in her hospital room only a few years before.
The man stood in the doorway for a moment; his thoughts were of another place and time as he examined the beautiful young woman standing in front of him. He was taken aback by how much she resembled Kathleen.
“Patrick O’Connor?” She asked, knowing the answer.
“To be sure,” he replied with an expression that reminded her of Kasey.
“I apologize for starin’, but you look exactly like your mother. Come in,” He said opening the door wider and gestured for her to enter the apartment.
Entering the apartment, the first thing she noticed was the view from Patrick’s window—it was amazing. The vast Dublin skyline spread as far as she could see, with the mountains rising just beyond the cities edge. They weren’t the Rockies, but they had a splendor and charm of their own.
The walls of his living room were lined with shelves filled with leather bound books; making it seem more like a library than an apartment. There were books by James Joyce, Seamus Heaney, and Samuel Beckett; books Katelin wasn’t familiar with, but she had seen the same reading material on Kasey’s shelves.
“Would you care for a cup of tea?” Patrick asked.
“No, thank you,” she said, smiling as she recalled the conversation she had with Sean the night before.
“Sit down why don’t you.”
Katelin sat down on a large green sofa in the middle of the room and noticed a familiar picture sitting on the bookshelf beside her. It was the image of five people standing on the beach, the same faded photo she and Kasey had found in the attic. Only this time she observed five friends spending the day together, enjoying each other’s company.
As Kate examined the photo she nervously began to blurt out the questions that had been dancing around in her head, “How did you meet my mothe
r? Did Aidan introduce the two of you?”
Patrick raised his eyebrows. “Aye... how did you know?”
“Just a guess,” she said.
“You’ve been talkin’ to Sean then,” Patrick remarked.
“I did, but he didn’t tell me much. Apparently you’re the man with all the answers.”
“Is that right?” Patrick’s demeanor changed as his daughter’s interest in the picture grew. He seemed solemn to her, as if he were weighing every word now.
“You knew my uncle Liam?” Katelin asked, picking up the photo.
“Aye, he was good friend.”
“My mother didn’t like to talk about him, it made her sad.”
“The two of them were as close as two peas in a pod, I’m sure she was missin’ him.”
“And this is Seamus.” Placing her finger on the man’s image Kate looked up at Patrick hoping to solve the case of the mysterious man before her sister did.
“You know about Seamus?” His face went pale, and the question seemed to stick in his throat.
“Well...no. Who is he?”
Patrick’s tension seemed to ease a little. “I know you and your sister have questions. I promise to tell you everythin’. Now can I get you somethin’ to drink?”
“Water would be fine,” she replied, frustrated that she still didn’t have answers to any of her queries.
“Tell me about yourself.” Patrick demanded as he went to the kitchen to get her water and a plate of shortbread biscuits.
“I’m not sure where to begin.” Katelin was taken aback by the request.
“Meggie tells me you went to Julliard. Start there,” he encouraged his daughter to continue.
As Katelin began to recount her adventures in New York City, Patrick returned with the biscuits and water. He watched Kate become more animated as her excitement grew; it was hard not to be reminded of Kathleen. While his daughter continued on with the story, Patrick's thoughts drifted back to the day he first met a young and enthusiastic Kathleen Murphy. It was a gray Irish morning in 1962, but Kathleen’s soft eyes and warm smile made up for the overcast weather. It was at that very moment Patrick began falling in love with her.
His musings were interrupted when Katelin asked, “Are you listening to me?”
