Forever My Love: A Christian Romance (The McKinleys Book 2)

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  “Yes. I’ll just be glad to get this part over with. Then we can move on from it.”

  “We’re praying for all of you. I’m sure it’s not easy for anyone involved.”

  “Thanks.” For once, Brooke found herself willing to accept their prayers. “I get the feeling that if Danny and I weren’t involved, this would be a more positive event. But because of our previous relationship—or lack thereof—with Lincoln, it’s made it all a little more confusing.”

  “And there are other emotions involved, too.” Her mom gave her a knowing look.

  Rather than trying to deny it, Brook just said, “Yeah.”

  She felt an arm go around her shoulders. After a moment’s hesitation, Brooke laid her head against her mom.

  “Trust God that if the two of you are to be together, it will work out. I’m not saying it will be easy, but it will be worth it.”

  “And was Dad worth it?” It was a question she’d pondered a lot over the years. Truly, the man he was now—if she hadn’t experienced what she had as a result of his behavior—was a man to be liked, if not admired. She didn’t really like to admit it, but he had become a good husband and was a good father to his kids—when they’d let him be.

  “Yes. He is. Your father has changed a lot since we were in Africa. You kids really only saw one side of him.”

  Brooke glanced over to see her mom gazing out toward the water. “And we didn’t see that much of that one side either. He was always pretty busy.”

  “That’s true. He was a very proud man when we went to Africa. He took great pride in the fact that we were going to do the Lord’s work and were willing to make the sacrifices involved.” Her mom sighed. “He came back from Africa a broken man. That’s what happens when you think you’re immune to the weaknesses other people have. He didn’t guard himself against his own desires. Didn’t think he had to.”

  The man her mom was describing didn’t sound much like the man she knew now.

  “Did I love your father through all of that? I can’t say that I did. In fact, I came close to hating him for what he did to me. To you children. To the babies. It took time to build up that trust and love again. I can’t say we rebuilt our marriage because after everything was torn down in Africa, there was nothing left. The foundation we’d built on up to that moment had been made of pride. So we had to build it up from nothing. But that second time around we made sure God was a part of the foundation we were building in a way we hadn’t the first time. Your dad understood that even though he’d said he was sorry and I’d forgiven him it was still going to take time to heal those wounds.”

  “And you had to deal with being pregnant on top of it all.”

  “Yes. Sometimes I look back and marvel that I made it through, but when you’re in the midst of the fight, you’re just looking to make it from one day to the next. If I’d known then how long and hard the battle would be, I probably would have walked away. But thankfully, God kept that knowledge from me and instead gave me the strength to get through one day at a time.”

  Though on a lesser emotional level than her mother’s experience, Brooke knew what it was like to just try to make it one day at a time. Being a single mother, she had struggled to provide the best she could for Danny. Sometimes that had been incredibly hard. When she’d wanted to be a mother to her many children, she had imagined she’d be staying home with them, baking cookies and having only to focus her love and attention on them without worrying about money. Her husband would have taken care of all that. She’d been so naïve.

  She felt her mom stroke her hair. “There’s only one thing keeping him from finally closing the door on all that happened back then.”

  Brooke glanced at her mom, aware that that one thing was her inability to forgive her father. “But didn’t Alicia’s appearance open it all up again?”

  “No, sweetie. Alicia is an innocent in all of this. Though we didn’t seek out information on Sherry and what happened with her after we left Africa, we always knew it was a possibility. Slight, but it was there.”

  “Have you guys ever thought of buying a lottery ticket?” Brooke asked as she pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them.

  “What?”

  “I mean, the chances of two people in one family being born with dwarfism were slim to none and yet we have Victoria and Sarah. And then the slim possibility that Sherry would get pregnant and yet there’s Alicia. Our family seems to defy the odds. We might win a few million if we bought a ticket.”

  Her mom chuckled. “Well, as far as I’m concerned, I’ve already won the lottery with all you kids and your dad.”

  When the sound of a distant motor reached Brooke, she straightened and looked toward the far side of the island though she couldn’t see anything through the trees. She felt a touch on her arm and turned toward her mom.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  ONE more thing, sweetheart.” Her mom laid a hand on the side of her face and gave her a gentle smile, her blue eyes soft with love. “You will never have room in your heart to fully experience love as long as there are things you haven’t forgiven. Those things will always have a corner of your heart that you could be giving to those in your life who love you.”

  Could she forgive her dad? Could she forgive Lincoln? More importantly, could she let go of the anger she felt toward God?

  “I think for the first time in a long time—maybe ever—a man has touched your heart. I would hate to think that because of the unforgiveness you hold there that you’re not able to fully love or be loved.” She smiled again. “Just think about it.”

  Brooke was sure she’d be thinking of nothing else over the next little while as the two men who’d hurt her most were now on the same island. In thinking of Lincoln, she realized that he wouldn’t understand how she felt because he didn’t remember what he’d done to her and Danny. Truly, forgiving him would only be for her sake not his.

  The boat motor suddenly shut off, and silence flooded the island. Brooke saw Danny look toward where she sat. He was aware of what the boat’s arrival signaled. His father was there.

  “Can I pray for you, sweetheart?”

  Brooke knew that her mom’s question wasn’t asking if she could pray for her later in the privacy of her room. She wanted to pray for her right there, right then. Brooke nodded.

  Gathering her close once more, her mom rested her cheek on Brooke’s head. “Father, we come to you right now asking for peace and wisdom for the situation that’s unfolding around us. Two people that I love dearly…” Her mom paused and Brooke heard her swallow before continuing. “Two people that I love dearly are being affected. Protect them from hurt, I pray. Give Danny peace as he meets his father for the first time and help him to be able to accept and deal with all the emotions that will come with that meeting. And for Brookie, I pray that you give her strength to do what she needs to do with regards to Lincoln. And finally, I pray for Lucas. So much responsibility is falling on his shoulders. Give him strength to handle it all and to trust You with what he may also be feeling in his heart. We know that You are in control of all this and believe You will work out if we will only trust You. In Jesus’s name. Amen.”

  Brooke wasn’t sure what was contributing to the softening of her heart. In the past, she’d rejected any attempts by her parents to draw her into spiritual things. Maybe it was watching Danny embrace it so readily. Maybe it was meeting Lucas and seeing how his faith fit into his life. Or maybe it was just looking at the incredible complexity of their current situation and knowing that they weren’t going to be able to get through it all on their own. Whatever it was, for the first time in her adult life, Brooke was searching for the peace that had eluded her for so long.

  Her mom had a peace that surpassed any situation they faced. Brooke, on the other hand, only knew peace when things were going exactly as she wanted. She needed that to change.

  “Brooke?”

  Brooke straightened from her mother’s embrace, and they both turned to
see Lucas standing at the corner of the porch. She drank in the sight of him. Dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, the most casual she’d seen him yet aside from the swimsuit he’d worn to swim with Danny, she could see the signs of strain on his face.

  “I’ll just go back inside,” her mom said as she patted her on the knee and then stood.

  Once her mom had gone into the cabin, Lucas walked to where Brooke sat and then turned toward Danny and Jeff. Brooke wanted so badly to go to him, wrap her arms around his waist and lean on his strength and offer him her own. But she didn’t have that right. It wasn’t her place to draw on that strength, particularly when so many others needed it more than she did.

  “How’s he doing?” Lucas asked as he settled on the porch step beside her. Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees, interlacing his fingers.

  “He’s nervous. But I’ve tried to keep him and Jeff busy with stuff so he didn’t think too much about it.” She looked at Lucas’s profile, again pulled to him in a way she’d never been to a man in the past. Right then, with everything going on, it was the scariest thing ever. “How are you doing?”

  He glanced over at her, and their gazes held for a few seconds before he looked back out to the water. “I’m tired. It’s been a long few days.”

  “I meant about Lincoln.”

  Lucas bent his head. “Yeah, I know what you meant. It was just easier to answer the other way.”

  “How was your mom doing when she saw him?”

  “Over the moon. It doesn’t matter to her that he doesn’t remember her. She’ll take him any way she can get him. Impaired memory is better than dead in her mind.”

  Brooke found her gaze going to Danny. “Yeah. I understand that.”

  “And I’m not sure how Lindsay’s doing. I think she’s wavering between being happy to see him and wanting to vent the anger she’s held toward him since hearing about the plane crash.”

  “She was angry with him?”

  “That’s Lindsay’s go-to emotion when the alternative is a weaker one. And yes, she was angry that his thrill-seeking had led to his death.”

  Brooke understood the anger Lindsay must be feeling. It was an emotion that had filled her life on more than one occasion. But right then, the anger she’d been harboring for so very long was slowly dissolving away. It was like a castle on the beach that was eroded by the relentless waves that kept dragging more and more of it out to the ocean to disappear.

  “Did you want to talk to Danny before he meets Lincoln?”

  “Yeah.” He stood up and turned to face her. “Do you mind if I talk to him alone first?”

  “Sure. Just send Jeff up to me.”

  Brooke watched Lucas make his way down to where Danny and Jeff played. The boys had stopped to watch as he approached. Lucas held out his hand to Jeff and after shaking it, the boy darted up the path toward Brooke.

  “Do you want to play on your tablet for a bit?” Brooke asked him when he reached her.

  “Sure.” He climbed up the steps and disappeared into the cabin. Brooke knew that her mom would take care of him until all of this was done for Danny.

  Her breath caught in her throat as she watched Danny and Lucas stand side by side at the water’s edge. Then Lucas lowered himself on a large boulder and put a hand on Danny’s shoulder. Eye to eye now, they continued to talk. Then Danny threw himself at Lucas and without a moment’s hesitation, the man embraced him and held him close.

  Brooke didn’t bother to try to stop the tears that flooded her eyes and overflowed onto her cheeks. She’d told herself that for so long it had just been her and Danny and they were fine, but here was a man that was everything they both needed. However, Brooke wasn’t sure they could ever fit into his life—even if he wanted them to. As nephew and mother of nephew sure, but as anything more? Brooke wasn’t sure that would work, especially now with Lincoln back.

  When Danny finally stepped back from Lucas, they talked for another minute or so before heading in her direction. Brooke quickly swiped her fingers over her cheeks to make sure any tears were gone. She stood as they got close, brushing off the back of the jean capris she wore.

  “Ready to go?” Lucas asked as they came to the bottom of the stairs.

  No! was what Brooke wanted to say, but instead she nodded. Putting it off wouldn’t change the outcome. When she stepped off the bottom step, she reached for Danny’s hand. Together they followed Lucas along the path that led from the guest cabin to the main one.

  Danny’s grip on her hand tightened as they climbed the large stone steps to the huge porch and approached the front door.

  Lucas reached out to the door handle then looked over at them. “Let’s do this?”

  Brooke glanced down at Danny and their gazes met. “Ready?”

  Danny looked back to Lucas. “Let’s do this.”

  Lucas had tried not to have any preconceived ideas about how this meeting between Brooke, Danny and Lincoln would go, but he was taken totally off-guard when Lincoln looked right at Brooke and said her name.

  Of all the people his brother had to remember, it had to be her?

  Brooke shot Lucas a startled look but all he could do was shrug. Lincoln got up and made his way toward them, the limp in his right leg very pronounced. Lucas turned his gaze to Danny. The boy almost looked like he wanted to hide behind Brooke but was doing everything in his ten-year-old power to stand his ground.

  “Brooke?” This time her name came out as a question.

  “Yes.”

  “You’re as pretty as Than said.”

  Relief flooded Lucas. He hadn’t remembered her. He shot Than a look. The guy needed to keep his yap shut. Than just gave him a grin that told him he didn’t really care what Lucas thought.

  “And you must be Danny.”

  Lucas pulled his attention back to the matter at hand. He saw Danny nod and look quickly in his direction, but he didn’t say anything. Though he had positioned himself a distance from Danny and Brooke, he saw his brother’s gaze go from Danny to Brooke and then to him. He may not have his memory, but clearly Lincoln could still read body language fairly well.

  It was all Lucas could do to not go stand with the two of them and wrap his arms around them. But right then the situation needed fewer complexities, not more.

  “So, Lucas tells me you like to ride bikes and swim.”

  Lucas looked over to where his mother sat. She was absolutely beaming as she watched the interaction between her son and grandson. But when he glanced at Lindsay, she wore a far more reserved expression. She had her arms crossed as she sat on the arm of the chair beside their mom.

  “Yes. I do.” Danny answered him this time, drawing Lucas’s gaze back to him.

  “They say I liked to do that, too.” Lincoln smiled at Danny as he thumped his leg. “But something tells me that the bike riding, at least, will be more difficult than it used to be.”

  Danny shuffled his feet, not staying completely plastered to Brooke’s side. Clearly, he was relaxing a little. Though Lincoln had had no interest in being a father before, losing his memory of what had prompted that decision had apparently meant he was willing to give it a whirl now.

  Lucas just hoped that Danny didn’t happen to pay the price for that in the future. Especially if Lincoln’s memory did come back. However remote that possibility might be, Lucas didn’t completely dismiss it. After all, Lincoln had been dead and yet here he was.

  The bigger question in Lucas’s mind at that point was if Lincoln would feel that he should also try to build a relationship with Brooke again. And as difficult as it was to watch him with Danny, the thought of him turning his attention to Brooke made Lucas sick. Because in spite of everything he’d told himself ever since the doubts had been raised about Lincoln’s death, Lucas couldn’t deny that he’d fallen hard for the mother of his brother’s child.

  “Why don’t we go ahead and eat,” Lindsay suggested as she stood.

  Lucas glanced at Brooke and could see an uncert
ainty in her gaze. For the first time since he’d met her, she looked lost. Maybe having her family around would help with that. He was finding it incredibly frustrating to not be able to offer her support the way he wanted to.

  “Brooke.” When Brooke looked at Lindsay, she said, “Do you want to let your family know that we’re going to eat?”

  Brooke nodded as she pulled her phone from her pocket. She let go of Danny’s hand but didn’t move away from him as she tapped out a quick message. Her phone chirped a reply right away. “They’ll be here in a few minutes.”

  An awkward silence fell over the room, but then Than said, “Hey, Lindsay, are you busy next Friday night?”

  Lucas almost laughed at the annoyed look that momentarily passed across his sister’s face, but it did help to break the tension in the room. He even caught a glimpse of a smile on Brooke’s face.

  Too bad that Than had no idea of who he was messing with.

  Lindsay looked his way before tilting her head and turning her gaze back to Than. Lucas tried to feel sorry for the guy, but just couldn’t dredge it up.

  “Why yes, Than—what kind of name is that, by the way?”

  Than had leaned forward in his seat. “It’s short for Nathaniel.”

  Lindsay moved in his direction. “I actually prefer Nathaniel. Is it okay if I call you that?”

  Than actually shot him a somewhat concerned look at that point. Now it was Lucas’s turn to just shrug and grin.

  “Uh, sure. Though usually the only one who calls me Nathaniel is my mom when I’m in trouble.”

  “Oh, well something tells me you are trouble with a capital T.” Lindsay settled on the couch next to him. “So I’m assuming that since you’re wondering if I’m busy, you’d like to make some plans with me.”

  “I was, uh, thinking about it.”

  “Time for thinking ended when you asked me if I was busy.” Lindsay reached out and tapped the tip of his nose while she batted her eyelashes. “Pick me up at six and take me someplace nice. And by nice, I mean someplace you need to be wearing a tie to get through the door.”