Our Darkest Dare

by Sarah Bailey

  “I want to treat her. She’s been through a shit time with Stan’s condition worsening, just feel like she needs a break, you know.”

  Dad’s expression softened. I often spoke to him about Stan. He knew how worried I got over Kira’s dad’s health. How I wanted to support Kira through all of this. I had friends outside of Kira, but she was the person I spent the most time with. I’d do anything for her.

  In a lot of ways, I wanted to make it up to Kira. For putting her in this shit position with her father. We should have never slept together again. Not that I regretted it, but it had caused way too much shit. It reawakened the need inside me to have her body against mine. It’d been hard enough getting over it two years ago. Now it consumed my every waking moment. And yet, I couldn’t do a thing about it.

  “Okay, did you have an idea of what you’d want to do for her?”

  I shifted on the bed, fiddling with the blanket and staring down at the floor.

  “I want to take her away somewhere for a weekend. She wouldn’t agree to go away for longer because of Stan.”

  When I looked up, Dad was grinning.

  “You want me to help you book something then?”

  I nodded. My parents had given me an allowance. They were loaded, but they’d never been flashy with it. Unless you counted Quinn’s pride and joy. But that had been a birthday present from all the rest of my parents. Don’t think they’d ever wanted us to grow up with a sense of entitlement, which a lot of rich kids had. We were aware of our privilege.

  “Just don’t know where to take her.”

  “Doesn’t Kira want to visit New York?”

  “How do you know that?”

  He smirked.

  “You do realise your best friend is like another daughter to me, right? We talk about that shit.”

  My dad knowing something about my best friend that I didn’t, made me even more aware of how my family saw her. Dad treated Kira as his adopted daughter. I couldn’t imagine what they would think if Kira and I got together. Not that we were or anything. Didn’t matter if I wished I wasn’t so fucked up about us. Kira had never once indicated she wanted more from our friendship. I didn’t want to read into her daring me to fuck her. There’d been alcohol involved and it would only be a stupid assumption on my part. I wouldn’t ask her either. I couldn’t travel down that path. The risk of fucking things up with each other was too much for me to handle. Losing Kira was more than I could take when she was my rock. My anchor. The one person who kept me from drowning.

  “You going to tell me what she wants to do there then?”

  Dad winked and turned back to his laptop. I got up and walked over to him.

  “Oh, she wants to do a whole load of shit, like be one of those obnoxious tourists who want to see all the city has to offer, Times Square, Central Park, that kind of thing.”

  “We can’t do all of that in a weekend.”

  “No, but you can take an extra-long weekend and do the main stuff.”

  I shook my head.

  “She won’t go for that.”

  “She will. Trust me.”

  I eyed my dad for a moment. He knew Kira almost as well as I did.

  “Since when did you start encouraging over the top gestures for people?”

  He gave me another wink.

  “Since I met your mother.”

  “I doubt that.”

  He laughed and shook his head.

  “You can thank E and his bloody over the top gestures for Ash, not to mention Rory. Those two made me look bad. I had to up my game.”

  I raised an eyebrow. Eric, I could well imagine because he was the most sensitive out of my dads. He was always doing things for Mum and the family in general. Probably where Raphi got his sensitivity from. My brother was way too in his own head all the time.

  “Rory does romantic things for Mum? Since when?”

  Dad grinned.

  “Oh, Dukey, you have no idea how much of a secret romantic Rory is. You know the real reason he started growing veggies in his conservatory? One of the mums at school has a whole veg patch in her garden and Ash mentioned how amazing she thought it was. Rory took it upon himself to surprise her. She cried over it.”

  I stared at my dad for a long moment. Whilst I knew Rory doted on Mum, I had no idea how much. My dads were always surprising me with stories about their pasts. I mean, I knew about some of the dark shit they’d been involved in. It was the light-hearted stuff that caught me off guard.

  “Huh. You know when you tell me stuff like that, it makes me wonder if Cole is really his son. He’s such a grumpy little shit who doesn’t want to do anything for anyone.”

  That made Dad bark with laughter. He slapped the desk, making me grin.

  “I should tell you not to be so mean about your brother, but he has started acting out since we told him about the past. You and Raphi were not that bad when you were his age.”

  I remembered when my parents had sat me down when I was fifteen and told me the truth. It probably should have come as a surprise, but it hadn’t. My family had always been a little… darker than most. It was subtle things like overhearing snippets of conversations, the way they’d talk about their relationship and how casually they’d discuss violence like they’d all seen and done things they shouldn’t. Our family had a bloody history involving crime, corruption and gangs. Mum had been raised by a crime lord and they’d destroyed his legacy.

  “Do you think I should maybe talk to Cole about it?”

  Dad shook his head.

  “Let us deal with it. It’s not on you.”

  Me, Raphi, Aurora and Cole never talked about our parent’s pasts. To be honest, I had no desire to. It wasn’t something that could be changed or fixed. It was what it was. I’d come to terms with it all. Life wasn’t black or white, but varying shades of grey. I knew that better than anyone, what with having to deal with my girlfriend killing herself. But I had no idea if that was really the truth or not.

  Would I ever know?

  If the police never found Andie’s brother, then it would remain a mystery for the rest of my life.

  Would I be able to get closure?

  I had no fucking clue.

  “Dad…”

  “Mmm?”

  He had turned his attention back to his laptop and was looking up flights to New York.

  “Do you think we ever get closure when people close to us die?”

  He stopped moving the mouse and turned to me, his eyes full of concern.

  “I wouldn’t say there’s closure, Duke, only the ability to let go and put them to rest. It comes with time. Grief is a bitch to deal with.”

  “Sometimes I think I won’t be able to let go.”

  He reached out and rubbed my arm.

  “Is this about Andie?”

  “I know they ruled her death a suicide, but I can’t help thinking there’s more to it. That her brother was involved.”

  “The police haven’t found him yet.”

  I shook my head and leant up against his desk, folding my arms across my chest.

  “I wish they would. I need to know… I feel like I’ll never be able to move on without it.”

  He eyed me for a long moment before turning back to his laptop.

  “Let me talk to the others. Perhaps we can do something to help.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Dad gave me a slight smile.

  “We have our ways, Dukey.”

  I didn’t know if I should ask what he meant by that. Probably not a good idea to pry into what type of shit they were still involved in. Quinn was adamant about keeping their casino, where I would work when I finished university, completely legal, but that didn’t mean everything else they got up to was.

  “You’re not going to do anything to him, are you?”

  He chuckled and rolled his eyes.

  “No, got to track him down first. Leave it with me.”
<
br />   “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  “You should have said something about this before, Duke. I could have helped you.”

  He didn’t say it in a scolding way. His voice rang with his concern and compassion. If anyone understood the need for closure, he did.

  “It wasn’t my place if her parents are content with the coroner’s findings.”

  “We have no idea what her parents are thinking. They’ve basically lost both their children because he’s disappeared. I think they’d want to know the truth if we can find it.”

  My dad had a point. I wanted to know. Maybe her parents did too.

  “Okay, just don’t do anything which puts any of you in danger. I don’t want that.”

  “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine. Trust me, we know what we’re doing.”

  I didn’t doubt that at all. My parents were known for their ruthless efficiency.

  “Now, I need you to get Kira’s passport details for me, then we can make sure the two of you enjoy yourselves. After all, you’ll be starting university and you both deserve a holiday.”

  “Are you sure you trust me and Kira in a foreign country by ourselves?”

  He grinned.

  “I trust you two won’t get into too much trouble. We’re not flying there to bail you out.”

  I raised an eyebrow and dropped my hands from my chest.

  “You wouldn’t?”

  “Well, in all honesty, your mother would insist. Quinn would hit the roof. I reckon he’d be on the first flight out there to tell you off himself.”

  That made me grin. Quinn had always been the one to discipline us kids when we fucked up at school. Not to mention what he’d been like about the Lamborghini incident. I don’t think I’d ever live that one down. I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t allowed near his precious car. He’d banned Cole from touching it because my brother wanted to fiddle with the engine. He was fascinated with cars and wanted to be a mechanic. No doubt he would, since anything he put his mind to Cole achieved. He was a smart one, even if he kept it hidden under his aloof exterior.

  “No doubt about it. Don’t worry, Kira will keep me in line.”

  “Hmm, you two do get into mischief together, so I’m not sure I believe that.”

  “Us? Get into mischief? I think you might be talking about a different Kira and Duke.”

  “You keep telling yourself that.”

  I grinned and shoved off his desk.

  “I’ll get you her passport details, and thank you for this. You’re the best.”

  Dad waved me off.

  “You’re welcome. She’ll be over the moon when you tell her about it.”

  I hoped she would be. What Kira would think about me surprising her with a holiday planned by my father and me was something I’d just have to wait to find out.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Duke and I had been playing co-op practically all day in the games room at his place. Things had been weird between us since the whole ‘let’s pretend we’re in a relationship for my dad’ thing happened. Duke had come over to mine a couple of days ago to spend time with my dad. I’d hung out with them too, sitting in Duke’s lap whilst they played chess. Dad asked me to move the pieces when he couldn’t. It had felt right being close to Duke, even though it had tortured me too.

  Dad had talked to me after Duke had gone, telling me how much joy it gave him to see us together. Then he started up about wanting to see me get married again. I swear to god my father was like a dog with a bone. I was only eighteen. Why would I want to get married? I suppose now Duke and I had fulfilled his dream of us getting together, he’d obviously start thinking about the future. The only saving grace was him not mentioning it around Duke. I had no idea what the hell Duke would say if Dad brought it up. I mean, Duke knew about my dad’s wish to see me get married, but not in relation to him. I wasn’t sure I wanted him to find out.

  “I have something for you,” Duke said as he placed his controller down beside him and turned to me.

  We’d just finished a particularly difficult mission. It was time for a break and besides, Rory had come in a few minutes ago to warn us dinner was almost ready.

  “Oh yeah?”

  I set mine down and stretched, my body all stiff from being in the same position for hours. Duke pulled out an envelope from beneath a cushion next to me and handed it over. I frowned, taking it and turning it over.

  “Open it.”

  I slid my fingers under the flap and unfolded it, taking the papers inside it out. Staring down at the front page, I swallowed hard.

  Kira,

  I wanted to treat you to a little getaway.

  Love Duke

  I turned to the next page. It had details of flights for two people along with a hotel booking. My hand went to my mouth. Duke had planned an extended weekend trip to New York for us. We’d be leaving in a couple of weeks.

  “Duke, how… when… oh my god!”

  The only person I’d ever mentioned wanting to visit New York to was Xav.

  “Dad told me you wanted to go. I may have grabbed your passport when I was at yours.”

  I turned to Duke. His expression was cautious. This had to be the sweetest thing he’d ever done for me. I set the papers down and launched myself at him.

  “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

  He grunted as I landed on him, my arms wrapping around his body and my face buried in his neck.

  “You’re happy?”

  “This is the most amazing thing anyone has done for me.”

  I’d only been abroad as a kid and never to New York. Dad couldn’t take me away very often, but that was okay. There were so many places I wanted to go, but this was the top of my list. Duke was the best.

  “You’re welcome. I wanted to do something to make up for the whole thing with your dad.”

  I pulled away, taking in his sheepish expression. Duke didn’t have to worry about that. Whilst I might have thought it was crazy at first, I had agreed to it. And seeing how happy Dad was made it worthwhile.

  “You didn’t have to do anything, Dukey. It’s fine. Dad is ecstatic, it’s changed the whole atmosphere at home. He has something to live for now, you know.”

  Duke smiled and stroked my arm.

  “Then our stupid plan is working.”

  I shoved him.

  “Yeah, maybe a little too well.”

  He cocked an eyebrow.

  “Oh?”

  I sat back, gathering up the pages again to look at everything Duke had booked for us.

  “It’s nothing, he’s just excited about the future is all.”

  As if I was going to tell Duke about the marriage thing. He’d be freaked out. Hell, I was freaked out by it. It’s not like it would make any difference to maintaining the family line. My husband, if I was to get married, would remain untitled whilst I’d be a baroness when my dad passed. It always seemed a little unfair and slightly sexist to me because if I’d been male, my spouse would’ve had a title like me, but whatever. I wasn’t here to champion a change to the laws of succession. I didn’t care enough.

  “Anyway, I’ll have to thank Xav too for this.”

  Obviously, his parents were funding it. They were rich, but they weren’t the kind who hoarded their wealth. They were generous people who did everything in their power to give their kids every opportunity in life.

  “You’re not mad I stole your passport?”

  I laughed and shook my head.

  “No, not when this is the outcome.”

  Duke wouldn’t have done anything stupid with it. He wasn’t like that. I trusted him with my life.

  “Kids, dinner!” came a voice echoing down the hallway.

  I set down the papers and got up off the sofa, expecting Duke to do so as well. He looked up at me with a curious expression.

  “What is your dad expecting from the future, Kira?”

  I swallowed
and looked away.

  “Let’s not talk about this right now. Your parents will come looking for us if we don’t go to dinner.”

  I did not want to get into a conversation about how my dad wanted the two of us to get married. Now he thought we were together, he kept asking if that’s what I wanted from my relationship with Duke. It didn’t matter if we’d only been dating a little while, in my dad’s eyes we’d known each other for fourteen years so it was something I should be considering. I thought he was mad, but I wouldn’t say it to him. He was putting pressure on me as he was worried about how long he had left. I understood that, but it didn’t mean I liked feeling as though I had to marry Duke for my dad’s sake. Dad might be a progressive man, but he had old-fashioned values about marriage. It didn’t mean he had an issue with Duke’s unorthodox family. When it came to me, he wanted to be there when I settled down with someone.

  Duke reached out and took my hand.

  “What is it? What aren’t you telling me?”

  “Duke, don’t.”

  He stood up then, his hand still tight in mine.

  “Are you keeping a secret from me?”

  My stomach sunk. We did have to go to dinner, but Duke wasn’t going to drop the subject.

  “You know how I told you he’s been going on about wanting to see me get married? Well, it’s got worse now he thinks we’re together. He keeps asking if we’re planning on getting married.”

  When I looked up at Duke, his expression hadn’t changed. Concern painted his features. Concern for me.

  “You know it’s just him worrying he’s going to die before he sees you succeed in life, right?”

  “I know, but it’s a lot. I keep having to tell him I’m still young and I’m not ready for that kind of commitment.”

  He tugged me towards the door because we really had to get a move on.

  “He knows that. Just remind yourself where it’s coming from when he talks about it, okay? You’re not obligated to do anything, and I’m sorry too. I made things worse.”

  I squeezed his hand.

  “It’s okay. We both did this. I don’t blame you. I’ll be stronger.”