Our Darkest Dare

by Sarah Bailey

  “It’s good to see you.”

  “I was here last week, Mum.”

  She pulled away and stroked his cheek.

  “I know, but I miss you.”

  I wrapped an arm around Raphi’s shoulder and led him towards the living room.

  “Mum wants all her boys to be under one roof again.”

  “That’s not true, Dukey. I know you’re all going to fly the nest sooner rather than later,” Mum retorted, following along behind us.

  “Hmm, yeah, when are you moving out, Duke?” Raphi said, giving me a wink.

  “When I’m good and fucking ready to.”

  It was just me and Cole now, but no doubt he’d want to move out with Meredith if she let him. The boy was literally obsessed with her. It wasn’t any wonder he was like that when he was Rory’s kid. The level of protectiveness our dad had over Mum was borderline psycho. Then again, Rory wasn’t exactly what anyone could call normal. None of our dads were. Quinn was a control freak. My dad was inappropriate as fuck with his jokes. The most well-adjusted one out of them was Eric, but even he had his quirks.

  “Well, I for one am not unhappy you’re staying a while longer,” Mum said as we walked into the living room and she linked arms with me.

  I gave her a smile. Living at home came with a lot of benefits. Still, if Kira and I worked our shit out with each other, maybe I’d move in with her. It would make sense given we were married. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to. Being with her all the time would make me happy.

  Fuck, I hope we can work through this. I really do.

  If she gave us one chance, I’d do everything in my power. I’d fight so hard to be the man she needed. All I wanted was to give Kira the world. She deserved it. And only now did I truly know how much I valued her as a person and a woman. I’d missed her presence in my life. And I’d do whatever it took to get her back and keep her in it.

  Chapter Forty Five

  I fiddled with my phone as I waited in our park. Well, the park near our houses, which I’d always considered Duke's and my place. I swung my legs back and forth on the bench, nervous anticipation running through me. Deciding what I was going to do when it came to me and him wasn’t exactly rocket science. I wanted to see what we could be. Even if we couldn’t get back to where we were, I didn’t want to kick Duke out of my life completely. Whether we could be friends or more was something I needed to find out.

  Life wasn’t always black and white when it came to relationships. We all made mistakes. Duke and I had made so many with each other. We’d let fear rule our lives rather than taking the bull by the horns and being real with each other. If we’d been open and honest, maybe things would have turned out differently. In a lot of ways, I didn’t regret the past because it’d made me who I was today. It had shaped me into the woman I’d become. If my father was still alive today, I think he’d be proud of me. I’d grown stronger and learnt to live on my own. But it didn’t mean I wanted to be alone for the rest of my life.

  I didn’t want the past to ruin my chance at happiness. Letting it dictate my future wouldn’t help me in the slightest. I wasn’t going to cut my own face off to spite myself.

  “Fancy seeing you here,” came a deep voice from behind me.

  I looked up before turning and finding Duke leaning on the bench with both hands, his smile wide and his blue eyes twinkling.

  “Hey.”

  He came around the bench and sat next to me. I didn’t stop him reaching out and taking my free hand before bringing it to his lips and placing a kiss on my knuckles. My heart rate spiked.

  “You look beautiful today,” he murmured, bringing heat to my cheeks.

  “Thank you.”

  I hadn’t dressed up or anything, but it was a warm day. I’d worn a dress again. As the years had gone by, I’d embraced my femininity. I didn’t do it for other people, but for myself. It made me feel good to look nice. Guess when Duke made me look at myself in the mirror all those years ago, it had stuck with me. I didn’t put myself down any longer. At least, not when it came to my appearance.

  I slid my phone into my bag. He let go of my other hand and sat back, resting his arm behind me on the bench.

  “You okay?” I asked.

  “Mmm, yeah. How about you?”

  “I’m fine. Thought it was better we had this conversation in person rather than over the phone.”

  He nodded. In those blue eyes of his, I saw hesitation and nervousness. Duke didn’t know what I’d done today. In all honesty, I had no clue if this was the right decision. I’d gone with my heart. I could come to regret it, but what the hell was I living for if I didn’t take risks? Who wanted to live on the straight and narrow? Duke reminded me of the reckless girl I’d been when we were teenagers. Whilst I didn’t want to engage in any of the stupid dares we’d done back then, I did know he pushed me to be the best version of myself. And I didn’t want fear holding me back any longer.

  “I called my solicitor today.”

  He said nothing, merely continued to watch me, waiting for me to continue.

  “I told her I wanted to withdraw the divorce application.”

  “What did she say to that?”

  “She didn’t say much, but she’s sending me the paperwork to fill out.”

  He was quiet for a moment.

  “She didn’t question your decision?”

  I smiled.

  “No, I told her we wanted to see if we could reconcile.”

  “Is that what you want? To reconcile?”

  I looked at my lap and my fingers fiddling with the hem of my dress.

  “I haven’t decided, but I recognise we need time to work things out. Having a divorce hanging over us isn’t the way I want to start over.”

  He tucked his fingers under my chin, turning my face back toward him. My eyes met his, finding curiosity in them.

  “Start over?”

  I nodded.

  “I know we can’t go back to the beginning, but we can get to know each other again and see where this goes.”

  His hand slid along my jaw, cupping my face as his thumb brushed along my cheek. My breath caught in my throat. Duke’s touch still had the power to turn me into a puddle of goo. If I wasn’t careful, I’d end up letting him kiss me on this bench again.

  Kissing him wouldn’t be a bad thing, would it?

  God, I want to kiss him.

  “Do you want me to date you? Is that what you’re asking for?”

  “I… hadn’t thought about that part.”

  He leant closer. My lungs constricted and my stomach fluttered.

  “I want to know what you need from me, Kira. You already know what I want.”

  “Do I?”

  He nodded as his lips turned up into a smile.

  “You. I just want you.”

  “How can you be so sure? I’m not the girl you grew up with any longer.”

  The way his eyes brightened at my words made my heart stop. He was too damn handsome. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. I’d never been able to.

  “No, you’re not. You’re a woman now. And a stunning one at that.”

  “Duke!”

  He laughed, the deep rich sound of it melting my bones.

  “You still not able to take a compliment?”

  “I am, but you’re not being fair.”

  “No?”

  My fingers itched to touch him, to run through his hair and scrape my nails along his scalp in the way I knew he liked.

  “No. You’re touching me, saying nice things and looking at me like I’m everything you need. It’s making it hard for me to think clearly.”

  Dear god, his smile had me captivated. The wicked glint in those sky-blue eyes was magical.

  “Is my pretty boy face too distracting for you?”

  He’d called himself a pretty boy on the day of our wedding. The memory made my chest ache with longing. And I’m not ashamed to
admit I still had the photos I’d taken of him shirtless that day. They were reminders of the day I wanted to hold on to forever. A time when Duke and I were happy together before everything had gone so wrong.

  “Shut up.”

  “How about you make me?”

  I ran my teeth over my bottom lip before shoving my hand over his mouth and sticking my tongue out at him.

  “Your pretty boy face isn’t as alluring as you think it is.”

  Oh, but the way his eyes danced gave me all kinds of stirrings in my gut and lower. He gripped my hand and tugged it away from his mouth before drawing me closer until we were inches from each other. One auburn eyebrow arched as he smirked.

  “No? I’m not sure I believe you.”

  And even though I shouldn’t have, I let him close the distance and press his mouth to mine. The gentleness of his lips sent a shiver down my spine. He didn’t ask for more than a brief kiss, pulling away and giving me a sheepish smile. I exhaled, holding myself back from leaning in again to experience more.

  “You going to give us dating a shot?”

  I swallowed and gave him a nod. He let me go completely and leant back against the bench. For a moment, I couldn’t move, still captivated by our kiss and his words. I’d told him I wanted to see if we could be friends again, but the truth was, I wanted more. I needed lips, tongues and bodies entwined. The companionship and contentment I’d shared with Duke. I’d never found it with anyone else.

  “If we’re going to try this thing, would you want me to tell my parents?”

  My eyes sought his face. He was staring out across the grass, the wind ruffling his hair and the sun glinting off it.

  “About us?”

  “Well, yes. I kind of figured you’d want to see them. I’m going to have to explain to them what really happened between us at some point.”

  It would be nice to see them again after all this time. They had been my family for years. I missed the closeness I shared with his dad. But there was a part of me that didn’t want to start a new relationship with them when I had no idea if Duke and I would work yet. It would hurt too much if I had it all ripped away again.

  “Can we see how this goes first? I can’t deny I’m afraid, Duke. If we don’t work out and I lose them again…”

  He turned to me, the heartache in his eyes making my own tighten.

  “I don’t want you to go through that. No matter what happens between us, you’ll have them. I want things between us to be amicable, Kira. No hard feelings and no more pain. But if you want to wait, it’s fine.”

  “Did you tell Raphi about us seeing each other?”

  Duke told me the only people who knew we were married were Raphi and Cole.

  “Yeah, last night. I went out with him, Cole, Meredith and her friend, Rhys after we talked.”

  I stared at him for a moment.

  “Meredith, as in Raphi’s friend from school?”

  “Mmm, she and Cole are together.”

  I hadn’t expected that. The last I saw of Duke’s brother, he was getting into trouble at school and driving his parents crazy.

  “Well, that’s… unexpected.”

  Duke scoffed.

  “Cole has crushed on her since he started secondary. Like big time. He thinks no one noticed, but I fucking did. They got together back in school, but that went to shit when her brother found out. Cole went after her again when he turned eighteen, and now they’re inseparable. Young love and all.”

  I raised an eyebrow.

  “Her brother? Why would he care?”

  He reached over and fiddled with my hair, tangling his fingers in the strands by my face.

  “Shit, you don’t know about Raphi and Jonah either. You’ve missed out on a lot.”

  “What happened with them?”

  Raphi had gone through a lot of shit at school. I’d known all about the bullying, but Duke had never mentioned anything to do with Meredith’s brother. He was right. I’d missed out on many things.

  “It’s kind of a long story, you mind if I tell you about it next time? They’re not together now or anything, Raphi is… dealing with a lot of shit.”

  I nodded. We had time to talk about those things. It’s not like we were never going to see one another again.

  “He is?”

  “Mmm, we have all encouraged him to seek professional help, but he needs to decide to do it on his own terms.”

  It made me curious what exactly was affecting Raphi, but Duke would tell me at a later date.

  “You can lead a horse to water and all.”

  Duke nodded, still playing with my hair.

  “Enough about my family. I’d rather talk about us.”

  “Oh yeah? What about us?”

  He smirked.

  “I want to know when you’re next free so I can take you on a real date. I’ll make it fancy and shit, with dinner, drinks and flowers. I’ll even wear a suit if you want.”

  I laughed as he waggled his eyebrows at me.

  “You don’t have to go to all that effort.”

  “I do. I’ve never taken you out on a date. We’re going to do it right this time, Kira. I’ll be your perfect gentleman.”

  Didn’t he know I’d never wanted that from him? I liked rough-and-ready Duke who did whatever he wanted because he didn’t give a shit what other people thought.

  “I don’t want perfect gentleman Duke.”

  “No?”

  I shook my head.

  “I want my Duke,” I whispered.

  He grinned.

  “You have him. He’s yours.”

  I fiddled with my hem again for a moment.

  “We still should take it slow, though. Do it right, like you said.”

  “We will. Just say yes to the date, Kira. I promise it’ll be fun.”

  My schedule was busy with trying to get university finished, but I could make time for us.

  “Next week, then. Uni stuff is kicking my arse and I want to get this next assessment done.”

  “You got it. Next week.”

  The way he smiled gave me hope we could work. Maybe we could be a real husband and wife in the future. It’d been so long since I’d been excited by the prospect of a relationship. And it had everything to do with it being Duke Scott I’d be going on that journey with.

  Chapter Forty Six

  When my parents had gathered all of us together earlier, I’d wondered where the hell my youngest brother was. Family meetings didn’t usually exclude one of us. It’d been almost a week since I’d seen Kira and we’d agreed to give us a shot. I was supposed to take her out tomorrow. I thought nothing could bring me down, but I was wrong. Very, very wrong.

  Me, Aurora and Raphi had sat there in complete silence whilst Mum, Rory and Quinn explained to us where Cole was. I could hardly believe my ears. After everything my parents had promised us about leaving their criminal pasts behind, including their links to the underworld, it had somehow caught up with them, anyway.

  None of us spoke for a long minute. I was trying to work out how the hell my little brother had got himself wrapped up with the Russian Mafia. It shouldn’t have come as too much of a surprise when it was Grandpa who’d secured Cole the apprenticeship at the garage he was working at. And Grandpa had links to the mafia. It just never occurred to me those two worlds would somehow intersect.

  Abruptly, Raphi stood up, his green eyes full of fury.

  “You promised us that shit was over. Did you not know they were mafia when Grandpa got the job for him?”

  Quinn’s brow furrowed. I was a little surprised by Raphi’s outburst too. He wasn’t exactly the type to get up in arms over things. The only time he’d ever gone off the deep end was when Jonah’s housemate stole Jonah’s phone and taunted Raphi with it. My brother’s right hook was deadly. I’d had to pull Raphi off the guy before he did him serious damage. That whole thing had ruined his relationship with Jonah.

&nb
sp; “We did.”

  “Then why the fuck would you let him work there?”

  “Viktor assured us he knew the owner and Cole would be safe.”

  “Oh well, that’s all the damn reassurance you need, is it? Are we in danger?”

  Mum looked at my dads, her eyes wide. Aurora was frowning and I had no idea what the hell Raphi’s problem was. It’s not like my parents would have deliberately put Cole in harm’s way.

  “No, of course not. We handled it.”

  “He had to leave the country! I wouldn’t call that handling it.”

  “Raphi,” Mum interjected, “We’re doing the best we can.”

  My brother slammed his hand down on the table, making all of us jump.

  “It’s not fucking good enough. Cole doesn’t deserve this, nor does Meredith. He already broke her heart once. Jesus, this family is so fucked up.”

  And with that, he stormed out of the room. The rest of us sat there in stunned silence. I got my act together the fastest, standing up and walking towards the door to go after my brother.

  “Duke.” My mum’s voice stopped me. “Where are you going?”

  I paused in the doorway.

  “To talk to him.”

  “We’re not done yet.”

  I turned my head towards her. If any of them thought I would abandon my brother when he was going through shit, they were barking up the wrong tree.

  “Raphi’s right. This is fucked up. He shouldn’t be alone right now, and he definitely isn’t going to want to talk to any of you. He’s not coping well and he needs someone. That someone is me.”

  I didn’t wait for her response. Whilst I might not be mad at my parents over the Cole thing, I wasn’t going to leave my brother to deal with his emotions on his own. That would never end well. Raphi was already too in his own head all the time. We’d stuck by each other through thick and thin. I was determined to be there for him now.

  I found my brother in his room, pacing back and forth with his hands in his hair. He might have moved out, but my parents kept his bedroom here for him. They’d done so for Aurora too, even though she’d moved out with Logan.