The Rocker Who Hates Me (The Rocker #10)

by Terri Anne Browning

  Should I go? Was it worth torturing myself with seeing Liam? It had taken so damn long to get to a place where I could even think about the man without my chest hurting. What if he had other chicks there and they were all over him? Could I see him, watch him with someone else, and still keep the walls around my heart from cracking and breaking my heart all over again?

  I didn’t know why I just sat there debating the whole thing with myself. From the second I’d seen that text, I knew I was going to go. Yeah, it was more than apparent that I was a masochist, but I was only hurting myself so who the fuck cared?

  I showered, dressed in one of the new dresses my aunt had sent from Milan a few days ago, and put on enough makeup so that I looked hot but didn’t scream desperate. I hadn’t had sex in months and all I could think about was getting Liam alone. Damn it, I sounded pathetic. I had no pride when it came to that particular rocker.

  I took a cab to Axton’s place and found people practically spilling out of the apartment when I walked in. It was only six thirty but the place was overflowing with partiers. I pushed my way through, looking for someone I knew. Axton wasn’t anywhere in sight but when I finally found Liam, I instantly regretted leaving the safe confines of my living room.

  He was sitting on the couch with a shiny silver tray in his lap, two coke-whores on either side of him. He had enough coke on the tray to keep the entire place high for a week, but between him and the four chicks surrounding him, I doubted it would last more than another hour.

  With a straw in one of his hands and a slut kissing his neck, I nearly turned around and left. I didn’t need this shit tonight. I’d lost what little buzz I’d gotten from the Italian wine the second I’d seen Liam and my heart was already aching from the sight of him destroying himself like that.

  Then I spotted a half empty bottle of tequila and figured, what the hell? I was there and even though the sight of the guy I was stupidly in love with basically gutted me, I would make sure I had a good time. I just needed to get drunk and find someone to help take my mind off the fucking asshole.

  Somewhere in the mess that was Axton’s apartment, I found a clean glass and poured the tequila into it. I gulped down the contents in one swallow before filling it to the rim. I was four glasses in before the first one hit me and the pain in my chest wasn’t nearly as hard to accept.

  For the next forty-five minutes I drank my way through the rest of the bottle of tequila and then moved onto a fresh one. I hadn’t seen Liam again so I moved around the apartment, my emotions a mixture of hurt, lust, need, and anger. I wanted to have hard, angry sex with a complete stranger in my ex’s home. It wasn’t the answer to my problems, and even through my drunkenness I knew I would regret it in the morning, but right then I didn’t give a shit.

  I paused in the middle of the living room, looking around for a possible hookup for a meaningless one-night stand. It wasn’t my style; normally, I didn’t slut myself out like that, but this was different. I was different tonight. I just wanted to fucking forget.

  No one caught my attention so I turned around. Maybe there was someone in the kitchen who would interest me…

  I bumped into the guy standing just behind me, spilling half my drink and nearly falling on my ass. Strong hands grasped my waist, steadying me, but I still fell against his chest. Looking up I saw that it was someone I knew. “A Demon,” I muttered to myself and grinned. “Oh, good. It’s the fun one.” Then I blinked and sighed. “No, wait. It’s the drunk one.” Damn it, the Stevenson brothers looked so much alike they could have easily passed as twins. This one was leaner than the other and his hair was longer, so I knew it was Drake. The drunk. Or was that ex-drunk? I wasn’t sure. “I was hoping it was the fun one. I really need to get laid.”

  “I don’t think my brother would take you up on your offer,” Drake informed me with a glare as he released me. “He knows Emmie would cut off his balls.”

  I grimaced. “Ah, yes. The sainted Emmie.” I rolled my eyes and took another sip of my drink. “Don’t want to upset her, now do we?” I snorted out a laugh and walked away, nearly tripping over someone’s feet as I headed for the kitchen.

  The night passed slowly, or so it felt like to me. I found myself talking to various people. When some leggy blonde showed up with a piece of meat that looked like he belonged on the cover of some muscle magazine, looking like every woman’s fantasy come to life, I was sure I’d found my one-nighter.

  I swallowed the rest of my drink and moved toward the delicious piece of eye-candy. Before I could reach him, Axton called out to the blonde and wrapped his arms around her waist before kissing her. Maybe I was drunker than I thought because the way he kissed this chick was different. He held onto her as if he didn’t ever want to let her go and when he lifted his head there was a look in his eyes that was definitely different.

  Huh, good for him. If he was getting over Emmie then I was all for him hooking up with this chick.

  I nearly tripped again before I reached the three. Axton’s hazel eyes narrowed on me. “Brie?”

  I gave him my brightest smile. “Hey, you.” I turned my gaze to the big guy standing protectively beside the beautiful blonde. “Hi.”

  The guy’s lips twitched for a second, but never really lifted into an actual smile. “Hi.”

  “I’m Gabriella.”

  Axton cleared his throat and grasped my arm. “What are you doing here?”

  I shrugged. “Liam invited me.” I glanced behind me. Still no sign of him. No doubt he was in one of the bedrooms or even the hall bathroom, either hooking up or shooting up. Either one killed me to think about. Finding it hard to stand up straight, I leaned against Axton. His blonde’s eyes narrowed on me but I didn’t pay her any mind.

  “Liam invited you?” The tone of his voice told me I was going to get a lecture within the next few minutes and smiled at how protective he still was. We might not have been able to make things work, but he was still a good guy and wanted to protect me. Mostly from myself and the self-inflicted pain I caused when it came to Liam Bryant.

  “Si, he invited me.” I cleared my throat, realizing that my accent was becoming more pronounced. “So, here I am.”

  “And where is he?” Axton demanded, those hazel eyes turning more brown than green as he watched me.

  I shrugged. “Who knows? Getting high. Getting his dick sucked. Could be either. Could be both.” I clenched my jaw and wished for another drink. “Who cares?”

  His eyes softened a little. “You okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I lied and turned back to the brick wall watching me just as close as Axton was. “Introduce me to your friends.”

  Ax blew out a long breath before finally making the introductions. “Brie, this is Dallas…my girlfriend. And the dude with the scary face is her muscle, Linc Spencer.”

  I spared Dallas a glance and a small smile before lifting my gaze back to Linc. Licking my lips, I took a step closer. Dallas stepped in front of me, though, as if she were the one protecting him. “You don’t want to go there, girl. He bats for the other team.”

  I blinked as her words spoken in that southern twang registered with my intoxicated brain. “Excuse me?” No way she had just suggested that Linc was gay. No. Way. He was just… No. I couldn’t accept that. He didn’t act gay, didn’t dress gay, nothing.

  She didn’t even bat an eye. “Trust me. Gay as they come.”

  Well, fuck.

  A few minutes later some guy that was definitely gay came up to talk to Linc and I decided it was the best time to get another drink. First, however, I really needed a bathroom. I tried the one in the hall, but it was occupied. Muttering a curse, I decided on the one in the guest room, but of course the door to the bedroom was locked too. Judging from the noises coming from inside—and the way some chick was screaming for Brad to fuck her harder—I figured Axton needed to invest in a new mattress.

  Rolling my eyes, I realized that I had one of two choices. Wait for the hall bathroom to open up—not r
eally an option with how badly my bladder was screaming at me—or risk Axton’s private bathroom in his bedroom. I’d really wanted to avoid that room because I was pretty sure that Liam was in there with one of his coke buddies from earlier.

  Cursing my bladder, I turned in the direction of Axton’s room. When I opened the door, I kept my eyes shut, not wanting to damage the rest of my heart and yeah, the last little bit of my soul as well. When I closed the door behind me and didn’t hear anything, I slowly lifted my lids and breathed a sigh of relief when I found the room empty.

  I quickly used the bathroom and washed my hands. While I stood there drying them, I glanced at myself in the mirror. I was still drunk, but it was starting to fade to a really good buzz. My cheeks were slightly flushed from the alcohol, my eyes glassy. I needed to retouch my lipstick, but I didn’t bother with it. It wasn’t like I was trying to impress anyone now. The guy I wanted—the guy I was starting to realize was the only guy I would ever really want—was doing things I didn’t even want to think about.

  Even though I wanted to move on and forget about Liam Bryant, I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I could have slept with a hundred different guys and none of them would erase Liam from my heart. I mean, really, if sex for two years with Axton Cage hadn’t driven Liam from my mind, it was pretty likely no one could. Pushing a few strands of hair back from my face, I tossed the hand towel on the sink and opened the door to the bedroom.

  “I was starting to think I would never get you alone tonight.”

  My head snapped up and my breath caught in my lungs when I saw Liam leaning against the closed bedroom door. He looked so relaxed standing there, his arms crossed over his lean chest and a half smile on his beautifully masculine face. His eyes were what stopped me in my tracks, though. Those blue orbs were full of something predatory and exciting.

  Mentally telling my heart to stop beating my chest to death, I lifted a brow at the rocker. “Oh, yeah? And why would you want to get me alone, Liam?”

  The half-smile turned into a full-on grin as he pushed away from the wall and took two steps in my direction. “The usual reasons a guy wants to be alone with a hot chick. He wants to talk to her. Kiss her. Put his dick deep inside of her.”

  That last part was crass and crude, but parts of my body didn’t seem to care as my panties became soaked with a need only this guy had produced in me—and he hadn’t ever touched me. Ah, hell.

  Swallowing hard, I crossed my arms over my breasts to hide the fact that my nipples were hard as diamonds. “So, what you’re saying is you want to fuck me.” Even as the words left my mouth, my body was mentally jumping up and down in anticipation, while my brain and heart were debating if I should take him seriously.

  If I were honest with myself, I really—really—wanted him to fuck me. Maybe then I would be able to move on. What I was feeling might even just be because I needed to fuck him out of my system. Perhaps the love I felt for him was just really strong infatuation and plain and simple curiosity. Meanwhile, part of me knew that it was just wishful thinking. What I felt couldn’t be fucked away.

  I guess the real question I needed to be asking myself was whether or not I would survive a one-time fuck. Could I handle sleeping with Liam tonight and having him walk away from me the next day? Because that was how it was going to be. Liam Bryant didn’t fuck the same girl twice, at least not in the few years that I’d known him. He was almost as bad as Shane Stevenson, manwhore extraordinaire. Almost.

  While I was inwardly arguing with myself, Liam had crossed the room. His warm fingers touching my face and lifting my chin, urging me to look at him, snapped me out of my daze. I met his blue gaze and every argument that I’d just been having left my head.

  The feel of his skin touching mine, the way his eyes seemed to be eating me up, made my body catch fire. When he lowered his head I didn’t try to stop his kiss, but lifted onto my tiptoes to meet him halfway. The first brush of his lips over mine was like being electrocuted. My entire body felt like it was being zapped with something fierce from the inside out and I grasped his shoulders to steady myself.

  His hands lowered to cup my ass, pulling me against him roughly. The feel of his erection against my lower stomach made me moan with pleasure. Yes, I silently cried. Yes, this is what I’ve always wanted. What I’ve needed from the very second I bumped into him. His hold on my ass tightened and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist when he deepened the kiss.

  I licked his bottom lip, silently begging him to open up for me. I wanted to taste him. He growled and opened his mouth, offering me full access. The first brush of my tongue over his caused my senses to explode from the taste. It was slightly bitter, probably from all the drugs he’d been doing earlier, but there was something stronger underneath. Something far more powerful than any drug. It made my body seem to come alive for the first time in all my existence. Nothing had ever been as awe-producing for me as kissing this man.

  Questing fingers lifted the skirt of my dress until they found my thong. I barely noticed when he wrapped his fingers around the left side and gave a hard tug. I’d only realized that he’d ripped my underwear off when I felt cool air touching my drenched pussy. Lifting my head, I watched as he tossed the ruined thong over his shoulder seconds before he lowered me to the bed.

  “Fuck, you’re so wet,” he muttered when he cupped my aching pussy. “Why did I wait this long?” he asked and I realized he was talking to himself. “I’ve wanted you so damn long, little Brie. So damn long.”

  His confession only made me that much wetter and all I could think about was getting him deep inside of me. I reached for his belt and nearly broke a nail in my haste to get it undone. Liam bit out a curse as he just as impatiently tried to get my dress off of me. “I want you naked. I want to see every inch of you.”

  “Yes,” I whispered fiercely and gave a small victory cry when his belt came undone and I reached for the snap of his jeans.

  He was still struggling with the dress and I pushed him away, wanting to be just as naked as he wanted me. I reached for the zipper just under my right arm and pulled the dress over my head. The dress hadn’t permitted a bra so I was left completely naked for him.

  While I was undressing, I’d hoped he would have been too. Instead, he just stood there, his gaze scorching over every inch of my body as he seemed to engrave the sight of me like that into his memory. That thought made me bold and I spread my legs wide, touching myself as I opened the lips of my pussy to his gaze. I skimmed my middle finger over my clit and bit back a whimper.

  The muscles in his neck worked as he swallowed hard. He rubbed one hand over his mouth before licking his lips. “I want to eat you up, little Brie. I want to lick that pretty pussy until I’ve swallowed every drop of your sweet essence.”

  His words produced another rush of wetness and when he watched the liquid desire coat my thighs, he growled something unintelligible and completely animalistic before dropping to his knees and burying his face in my pulsing, hot pussy. His tongue swiped over my clit and my hips reared off the bed at the pleasure.

  Nothing had ever felt so good. No one had ever produced such a response from me. This was pure nirvana and I knew then and there that this wasn’t going to be enough. One night was not going to burn him out of my heart. He was going to make me just as much an addict for him as he was an addict for drugs.

  I didn’t care.

  My fingers thrust into his hair, holding him against me as he thrust his tongue inside my opening. He’d barely started yet I was hanging on by a thread. When he sucked my clit into his hot mouth, it was over. I cried his name and bucked against his face as the strongest orgasm I’d ever experienced raked my body.

  Before I could come down off the high he’d just given me, I heard the sound of foil ripping and opened my eyes in time to watch him finish rolling the condom down his amazing cock. Oh, fuck, it was a great-looking cock. I wasn’t going to compare him to any lover I’d ever had before, but he was definit
ely the thickest I’d ever had if not the longest. I swallowed back my brief fear that he would tear me when he thrust inside of me with that monstrous dick, and opened for him as wide as I possibly could.

  His movements were jerky and I bit my lip as I prepared myself for him to enter me roughly. Yet, he didn’t. He bent to kiss my lips softly while he guided his thickness to my opening and entered me so carefully that it made my eyes sting with tears. He eased into me slowly until he was as far as he could go. My flesh felt stretched to the point of almost pain, but oddly enough I loved it. Every nerve deep inside of me was hugging his thickness, my walls clenching around him as if begging him to go deeper.

  He gently pulled out and slid back in just as slowly as the first time. My back arched and I saw stars. Damn, that felt good. So good. My hands slid under the shirt he hadn’t bothered to take off and my nails dug into his sides as he thrust into me again, just as gently. I realized he was trying to be careful with me, that he was fighting back his need to fuck me hard, and my heart melted a little more. Somehow I knew that Liam didn’t do this with other chicks. This was different for him.

  Maybe I was special to him.

  “You okay?” he asked, panting hard as he gritted his teeth and thrust slowly into me again.

  “I’m good,” I assured him and dug my nails a little deeper when he slid over a particularly sensitive part. “You feel so good, Liam.”

  “Ah, fuck, Brie. So do you.” He kissed my neck then moved down to my breasts. When he sucked one nipple deep into his mouth and thrust just a little harder, I nearly exploded then and there. He lifted his head, as if sensing how close I was, and didn’t want me to come yet. “You’re so tight, babe. It’s taking everything I have not to fuck you hard. But you’re so small, I don’t want to hurt you.”