by Gigi Marlowe
Alex reached out and patted her hand, sympathy softening his face. “I can’t answer the last question, but I can help with the rest. Megan was expecting when she was diagnosed with the brain tumor. Part of the reason she went so quickly is that she opted out of several treatments that could potentially damage the baby she was carrying. By the time Joseph was born, she was almost incapacitated. Scott’s friends‒Oscar and Olivia, I believe‒had been trying to start a family without success, so they offered immediately to take care of the baby for as long as needed. They left the hospital with Joseph when he was two days old, while Scott remained at his wife’s side.”
Kylie listened, trying to imagine Scott being forced to choose between caring for his newborn baby or caring for his dying wife. No one could expect him to do both.
“Three weeks later, Megan died, and Scott was so grief stricken‒” Alex stopped and shook his head. “I’ve never seen a person so nearly destroyed by the loss of another. That’s actually when we split our joint business venture. He quit working for several months, in fact, and closed down quite a few investments. I was worried about the direction he was headed until he re-discovered his passion for space and rebounded on that.
“I know Scott couldn’t bear the thought of raising Joseph on his own after losing his wife, but then to let go of their only son caused him almost as much pain as Megan’s death. He got stuck in a tricky triangle, and it looks like he’s still there.”
“But surely he wants Joseph to know that he is his father!” Kylie cut in. Scott had been through so much. She ached to hold him in her arms but at the same time, she was still hurt by his duplicity.
“I’m sure deep down he does, but he also doubts his ability to provide what Joseph needs and figures he’s better off with Oscar and Olivia. To make up for his deficiencies to his son, it seems like he’s trying to adopt the whole world with his orphanage funding. It’s almost like he thinks because he couldn’t save Megan and provide for Joseph, he is now obligated to save and provide for everyone else worldwide. And he drowns himself in new technology for a catharsis. If I may wax philosophical, it’s as if, through the intensity of his space ventures, he is trying to escape earth and distance himself from all the pain and suffering here.”
It made sense when he put it that way.
“When you told me about Megan, why didn’t you tell me about Joseph, too?” she asked Alex.
“I started to. If you remember, I cut myself off. I didn’t know if he had told you or not. I didn’t want to be the one to share such personal details if he hadn’t.”
Kylie lowered her chin into her cupped hands, her elbows propped on Alex’s desk.
“I don’t know what to do, Alex.”
“Do you love him?”
She tilted her head and considered his question. “I don’t know.”
“Well.” He grinned a bit nostalgically. “That’s farther than you ever got with me.”
It was true. They had ended their relationship because both had realized they weren’t in love. Maybe they had judged each other too harshly, Kylie thought now. Love was such a multi-dimensional affair.
“You going to be okay?”
She blew some hair from her mouth. “We’re supposed to talk tonight. Ask me tomorrow; maybe I’ll know by then.”
“Hey.” He gave her a warm, kind smile. “I’m here if you need me.”
She returned the smile. “I know.”
When she stepped off the bus in front of her apartment complex that evening, she stopped short. A limo was parked at the curb, and Scott sat on the stone steps that led to the apartment, his elbows digging into his thighs, his fists smashed against his cheekbones. He looked up blankly at her approaching steps, then lunged to his feet.
“Kylie.”
“What are you doing here?”
He slipped his hands into his jeans pocket, looking nothing like a billionaire tonight, minus the sleek ride. “You said we could talk.”
“I meant by phone or video.” She shrugged. “But that’s okay. Do you want to come up?”
He nodded and followed her. She took the stairs since she was only on the fourth floor, and the elevator sounded too confining to her right now.
When she opened her apartment door, she held her hand out toward the couch. “Have a seat. I’ll be right out.” She went to her room to change, trying to still her heart, stalling for time.
She found Scott pacing in her small living room, worried lines creasing his forehead. He sat down when he saw her.
“I’m sorry to intrude on you like this.” He paused, seeming to be grasping for words, and Kylie waited politely. “When I found you gone last night, I‒” He shook his head and closed his eyes against some emotion unseen to Kylie. “I panicked. I’ve lost so much; I don’t want to lose you, too.”
His words nearly undid her. She could forgive anything for him, right?
“Why didn’t you tell me about Joseph?”
“Because it’s very hard to talk about, and I feel bad enough about abandoning my son. I didn’t want you to think poorly of me.”
“Abandoning him? You placed him in a wonderful, loving home, and I see the way you dote on him. He may not know you as Daddy, but he knows you as his beloved Uncle Scottie who will do anything with him, for him.”
She was surprised when his eyes took on the sheen of moisture. “It’s the least I can do.” He massaged his forehead. “So where does this leave us? I understand that I’ve hurt you badly by not being upfront with you, and I’ve also given you the shock that I have a child, which may change your mind about me.”
It didn’t, not at all, but Kylie said nothing for a time. “My trust in you has been affected, Scott.”
Her words could have taken a fisted swing at him for the crushed look it produced in his face and the physical defeat that sagged in his strong frame.
He stood to his feet, his face now carefully schooled into neutral. “Would you like some time, Kylie? Time to process and decide if our relationship continues? I know I want it to, but I also need to sort through some things in my life. I fear I’ve created quite a mess when it comes to Joseph, and now I feel I need to figure that out before I can have the kind of committed relationship I want with you.”
Kylie heard the unspoken message in his words. He wanted a long-term relationship with her, and he was willing to give her the space she needed to make it happen.
She stood as well and offered him a grateful expression. It could almost be called a smile.
“Thank you, Scott. Time would be most welcome.” There was so much more she longed to say, but he’d scared the honesty right out of her, and she didn’t want to make promises she couldn’t keep.
“I better leave you, then.” He held out his hand, but Kylie brushed it aside and threw her arms around his neck. If this was their last embrace‒for a while or for forever‒she wanted to remember it. His arms encircled her slim waist, and he held on until she began to back away. Then he dropped his arms, nodded at her, and walked out of the door.
And out of her life.
Alex took one look at her face the next morning and held out his arms. Kylie walked into his familiar embrace and emptied her tears on his sleeve.
“Wow, you never cried about me like this. You and me, we’re going to lunch.”
Kylie agreed without protest, much like she had when they’d dated and went about her work until Alex stopped by her desk a few minutes after 12:00.
“Let’s go, Mitchell.”
She speared him with a look. “Okay, Dunne.”
He cracked a grin. “Just trying to shake you from your gloom, Kylie. Relax. How’s pizza?”
It wasn’t normally part of her diet, but today she didn’t care. “Fine with me.”
Alex hit the down button on the elevator, and Kylie stepped inside when the door opened with a ding. She crossed her arms for the ride down.
“It’s your fault, you know. I met him on a business trip for you.”
; “Oh? And you fall for every man you meet on business trips?”
This got Kylie to laugh, and she bowed her head in defeat. “Touché.” Alex led her to the nearest pizza joint where he ordered for her without asking.
“How did your talk with Scott go last night?” He wasted no time getting to the problem at hand while they waited for their food.
“Well…” Kylie toyed with her napkin. “He showed up in person.”
“I’m not surprised.”
Looking back, Kylie knew she shouldn’t have been, either. Scott didn’t seem to do anything part way. Including hiding information from her, she thought in frustration.
“Seriously, am I not worth the emotional risk to him? I understand him not broadcasting his situation to the world, but hello, it’s me! We’ve been going out for months. He never thought, gee, I should be honest with Kylie about my son? He flaunted it in my face by taking me to Oscar and Olivia’s and playing with Joseph--twice! Without planning to tell me? And made me look like a fool in front of his friends, too.” She scowled and dumped way more red pepper flakes on her pizza than she intended. She was going to regret that.
“Wow, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you this worked up,” Alex commented calmly, removing the pepper shaker from her hand. He pushed a coke across the table. “Drink this.”
She’d forgotten how bossy he was‒“authoritative” was the spin word he used for‒but it wasn’t irritating her now like it had toward the end of their relationship.
Scott wasn’t that way at all.
“I don’t think he set out to make you feel this way, Kylie. He was trying to protect himself and accidentally hurt you in the process. And I’m sure his friends don’t see you as a fool. They understand the whole picture in a way you don’t. Or didn’t, at any rate.”
Kylie took a bite of her pizza, her mouth instantly on fire with red pepper. “Ugh.” What had she done? She took a long sip of coke, another item from her do-not-consume list. Boy, she was on a roll today, and it wasn’t a good one.
“We decided to take some time off our relationship.”
Alex studied her. “Is that what you both want?”
She had the distinct impression that Scott had offered it solely for her because he was afraid she was going to end things otherwise. He was buying time, that’s what.
“Yes,” she lied. “He needs to figure out his life. And I need to figure out if my life is going to continue to include him.”
“Makes sense.” Alex nodded thoughtfully, then shoved another slice of pizza toward her. “Eat up, woman. We need to get back to the office.”
Chapter Ten
Kylie’s apartment seemed lonely that night. Not that Scott was normally there anyway, but she was accustomed to spending all her free time talking with him via one medium or another. And now it was silence around her.
Her heart was lonely.
She wasn’t typically given to tears, but she felt the occasion called for some measure of indulgence, so pulling up a playlist of the sappiest, sobbiest, love-gone-awry songs, she curled up on her loveseat and cried. She took a break for a glass of wine and went right back at it.
That had been cleansing, she decided as she washed her puffy face before bed, checking her phone by habit. No Scott tonight. Maybe never again.
Alex was out of town at a conference the next four days, and Kylie worked in relative solitude, interacting with her co-workers only as much as her job required. A big fundraiser was coming up, and pulling that event together was taking most of her focus‒off Scott. Or the Scott-sized hole in her life. Maybe one day she would wake up and not feel the ache in her chest that constricted her breathing. She honestly couldn’t remember ever feeling this way before even after the very worst breakups. And this was just a break.
“Oh good, you’re still here.”
Kylie spun her chair around at Alex’s voice. It was half-past six, and yes, she was still at the office.
“As you see. How was the conference?”
He flipped his hands in the air. “Oh, you know my brother. He stole the show.”
“Damian would. How come you never give speeches?”
His nose wrinkled. “Not my thing. I’ve done it, and decided not again. Anyway, can you catch me up on the prep for next week’s event? I want to make sure we’re on track.”
Kylie checked the time again. What did she have to do otherwise? “Sure, why not. But you know I’m always on track.”
“True enough.”
He bent over her shoulder as she clicked through several documents, his cologne wafting down to her nose. She knew that scent. It was bringing back some very distinct memories.
His hand squeezed her shoulder. “Good work, Kylie, as always.”
She closed her eyes, missing Scott’s touch so badly that it hurt.
“Want to grab some dinner with me before you go?”
She thought over Alex’s invitation for a few seconds. Eating together on lunchbreak was totally normal for co-workers. Dinner after work was equally normal for co-workers who also happened to be exes, right?
She didn’t give herself time for further doubts, knowing she would talk herself out of it. Besides, she was hungry.
“Sounds good to me.”
The next week Alex kept her spinning with preparations for the coming weekend’s fundraiser, hosted in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Since he pressed her into late hours so often, he also took her to dinner more times than she cared to admit.
“How are you doing with your break from Scott?” he asked the evening before the big event.
“Oh, I’m all cried out by now.” Kylie pretended to laugh it off, but tears flooded her eyes instead.
“You know Kylie, the way you’re hurting for him makes me wonder if I didn’t try hard enough with you. Maybe we gave up too soon,” Alex said softly.
Ed Sheeran’s “Photograph” came on Kylie’s Pandora station just then, making her instantly think of Scott.
“What do you mean?”
“If you and Scott don’t work out, maybe we should give us another shot.” He quirked his left eyebrow up and watched her, trying to gauge her reaction, but Kylie kept a poker face although her heart gave a crazy lurch that could have thrown her blouse off one shoulder.
“Just a thought.”
“Hmmm.” Kylie didn’t trust herself to answer. Not right now when she was still missing Scott so intensely. But she thought of it the next evening after the fundraiser had finished, a “smashing success,” as a flamboyant Alex had declared it at the end. Alex certainly had proven himself very compassionate lately. Maybe she should give him another chance. No, maybe she should call Scott and try to pick up those scattered pieces. Maybe Alex was just a convenient avenue for her loneliness in the wake of Scott’s departure. Maybe she was going crazy.
She picked up a couch pillow and slammed it over her head, howling in frustration and confusion.
“Dinner?” Alex stopped beside Kylie’s desk and offered her his arm. She really should say no.
“Um, give me a few minutes.” She didn’t look up, hammering out a cold email to a potential donor for the new charity Alex wanted to start up.
“Okay, but be quick. I’m hungry.” Alex waited beside the elevator, whistling loudly and tapping his Louis Vuitton shoes against the tile foyer floor.
Kylie had just clicked the small “X” on her browser when she heard the buzz of her cell phone on vibrate. For one long second, her heart stopped beating. Was it Scott?
“Hey, Cass.” She hoped her disappointment wasn’t evident in her tone. “What’s up? Sorry we haven’t gotten together in so long.”
“No problem,” her friend’s cheery voice filled her ear. “Are you home? I can come over now. Popcorn and a movie.”
“No, I’m still at the office. I was just headed to dinner with‒with Alex.”
Thick silence met her words.
“We need to talk. Alex can have dinner with his fancy shoes. I’ll be at your
place at 7:00.”
Well, that was a verbal spank if Kylie had ever gotten one. She grabbed her purse and joined Alex beside the elevator. “Sorry, but I need to head home. I didn’t realize Cass was going to come by tonight.”
He scowled, his eyebrows drawing down into arrows that glared at her accusingly, but he didn’t say anything other than, “Okay. We can go another time.”
Cass was already in Kylie’s apartment when she got there, and Kylie remembered that she’d given her friend a copy of the key back when she’d had a plant, so Cass could water it when Kylie traveled. Cass had killed said plant a long time ago, so Kylie didn’t know why she still had a key. But she didn’t care.
“Here.” Cass shoved a bowl of popcorn into Kylie’s hands as soon as she dumped her purse to the floor beside the couch. “And don’t say it has too much butter. Come on.” She sat down and patted a space next to her. “How many times have you gone to dinner with Alex? Just out of curiosity.”
Kylie kicked her pumps off and sank onto the couch, crossing her silky business suit pants like a pretzel. “I’m not sure. A lot.” She found something fascinating in the popcorn bowl and studied it with impressive concentration.
“Look, Kylie.” Cass’s normally light-hearted tone was gone, replaced with one filled with concern. “I’ve known you for a long time, so I see what you’re doing. You can’t replace Scott with Alex.”
Kylie’s head snapped up. “I’m not!”
“Are you sure? Alex is a great guy, which you know first-hand. It would be easy to let him sweep you off your feet again when you are missing Scott and you are surrounded by Alex on an almost daily basis.”
Kylie lowered her head. That was exactly what was happening. “You’re right.”
“I know I am. I’m always right.” Cass gave her a gentle pinch on the arm. “And I know you can’t fill a Scott-sized void with Alex, as great as he is. He’s been a good friend to you, and you two ended on a good note last time. You don’t want to mess that up. Maybe it’s time to say goodbye to billionaires completely, or you need to reach deep inside for some answers between you and Scott. But Alex is not the solution to this dilemma.”
