by Gigi Marlowe
“And that’s why I keep you around.” Kylie leaned over to hug her friend. “To keep my head facing forward.”
“Been doing it since grade school. Probably still will in the nursing home.”
Kylie threw a pillow at Cass’s head.
The next evening when Alex offered dinner, Kylie turned him down.
“I’m going to head home. In fact, I’m going to start leaving the office earlier if I can,” she told him. “I need more Kylie time than I’ve been giving myself lately.”
“Ah. Alex time hasn’t done the job this time, I see.” He offered her a small pout. “Such a pity for me. But I’m not worried for you. A beautiful woman like you can have any man she wants.”
The compliment struck Kylie like a block of ice, and she didn’t know why. There was nothing wrong with it. “Thanks for understanding.” She offered him a weak smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“No, I’ll be away for the next week.”
Good. “Be safe, then.”
On the ferry, Kylie tried to dissect Alex’s compliment. Why had it bothered her? He’d said she was beautiful, what any woman wanted to hear. Right?
Scott had never told her that. Kylie sat back at the realization. Scott had never once commented on her appearance. She had seen his admiration in his eyes, felt it in his touch. But he hadn’t said it with words. He had made her feel beautiful in the way he treated her, and in so doing, she had felt completely accepted by him in a way she never had before. She had let him in past her carefully constructed barriers to a place no one else had been. She had made herself vulnerable.
And that’s why his secret had been such a big deal.
She sighed, the weight rolling off of her. She wished she could talk to him right now. She wanted to tell him about her childhood. “Chubby Kubbie” had been her nickname right up through senior year. She had struggled with her weight and her body image for years, compounded by the fact that her sister Melissa and her mom were naturally slender. What an awful feeling it was to enter a room and believe that everyone who saw you was thinking “Oh my, she’s so fat.” Kylie hadn’t gone to Prom because of it. She hadn’t gone to freshmen orientation in college because of it, which had created a lot more problems. She hadn’t believed she was worth much to anyone because of it.
Kylie found her way off the ferry and waited for the bus that would take her home. During her freshman year, so fed up with all the consequences of her weight, she had tried every diet known to mankind and experimented with various exercise styles. Finally, after grueling work, she discovered just the right combination that saw results if she could stick with it. Stick with it she did until she had a body her sister was jealous of. It was what gave her confidence and identity.
But it seemed Scott had seen a little deeper into her. And he’d liked what he saw.
Kylie couldn’t stop the shiver that trembled through her. She didn’t want to let go of someone like that. Not when she’d been caught up in her insecurities for so long. Cass was forever teasing her for saying, “wouldn’t you agree?” at the end of meetings and campaign planning presentations.
“Your need for affirmation is too much, Ky,” she’d told her too many times to count, knowing full well Kylie’s struggle to overcome her weight. It seemed Cass had been more right than even she had known.
When Kylie got home, she sat down and stared out the window. It looked like she really did need some Kylie time. Time to re-prioritize her life and re-evaluate the way she viewed herself. And if there was one thing she had right now, with Scott on hold and Alex told off, it was time.
Scott watched Joseph choo-choo-choo the Thomas tank engine he had brought for him across Olivia and Oscar’s living room floor. He’d been spending more time here lately. He’d put a few business trips off, too, although he wasn’t sure why. Something to do with Kylie, something to do with Joseph.
Oscar clamped a hand on his shoulder. “I can tell you miss her, my friend.”
Scott met his eyes. “More than I’ve missed anything since Megan.”
“She’s not okay with you having…?” Olivia’s head tilted toward Joseph to complete the unfinished question.
Scott rubbed his forehead in thought. “Oddly enough, I don’t think that is what upset her at all. It was the fact that I didn’t tell her. I broke her trust.”
“She wanted time. How long has it been? Three weeks?” Olivia frowned in thought.
“Almost four.”
“It’s enough, Scott.” Oscar’s voice was firm. “Enough time she could have moved on, figuring she won’t hear from you.”
“But what if she doesn’t want to hear from me?” Scott voiced the question that kept his hands from any device that could be used to contact Kylie. If she turned him away, he would be broken all over again, just as he’d been after Megan’s death. He wasn’t sure he could bear it.
“But what if she’s waiting for you?”
Scott reared his head back in frustration. There were no guarantees in life; he’d learned that the hard way. But he was missing Kylie so much, he guessed he was going to have to put his heart on the line to find out what was happening in hers.
Olivia patted his arm. “She’s worth the risk, if you ask me.”
Scott remained in his seat while Olivia went to the kitchen, and Oscar stepped outside to turn on the sprinklers. Joseph bounded up to him with the train in hand.
“Come play, Uncle Scottie!”
Pain slushed through his system like thick blood.
Joseph should be calling me “Daddy.”
But he didn’t even know he was his father. He thought Oscar was.
If only… Scott shook his head. No. He wouldn’t feel right to take Joseph away from his friends after all this time. They loved him as their own, especially since it looked like they were unable to conceive. He couldn’t do that to them, even if he wanted to.
He had never wanted to before. But as he gazed into the eager little boy’s eyes, he knew things had changed. He wanted very much to be Joseph’s daddy, to raise him and teach him all the things he would need to know in life. But he didn’t know how to make that happen.
How he wished he could share his heart with Kylie. He never really had. He’d held himself back from her at a safe distance the whole time they had been together, afraid to let her in, afraid to admit the truth. Because he was horrified by it. How could he have given away his son? How could he be letting other people raise him? But now how could he stop the situation that he had put in motion?
He didn’t know. But he decided right then and there that he needed to talk with Kylie. He would do anything to obtain her forgiveness and to convince her to trust him again. He couldn’t just let her disappear out of his life without fighting for her.
“I’ll play with you in just a minute, Jojo. I need to make a call.”
Chapter Eleven
Kylie’s breath hitched when she saw the caller ID on her phone.
“Hello?” She grimaced at the breathlessness of her voice. She sounded like she’d been wasting away in desperation for him to call.
“Hi, Kylie.” Scott’s voice filled her ear and worked its way down into her body, flooding her with warmth. “Do you have a few minutes?”
“Yes.” Only a few? It was going to be short then. She stretched out a hand. It was trembling. Whatever happened, she could handle it. Even though she loved him. She’d done enough self-reflection over the past two weeks to know both facts.
“Good. I know we both agreed to take some time off. I’m calling to ask if I’ve given you enough time? Can‒can I see you?”
She heard the suppressed urgency in his tone that he was trying so valiantly to hide.
“I think that would be a very good idea. When can you come?”
Air swooshed through the phone, and Kylie realized he’d been holding his breath and had let it out all at once. “Let me check my calendar. Give me a minute.”
She waited patiently, her heart doing an upb
eat music-worthy dance.
“Are you free Thursday night?”
She didn’t need to consult anyone or anything. “Yes. Would you like to come to my place?”
“That sounds perfect.” The relief in his voice was nearly tangible. “I’ll see you then. And...thanks, Kylie.”
Kylie hung up and closed her eyes. This had the makings of being a very good thing. She would do her best to make it even better.
When Thursday came around, she was prepared. She left work early to stop by her favorite Chinese restaurant where she’d put in an order earlier. She didn’t care if it scented the whole ferry. People would just be jealous of her. In her apartment she darted around, lighting every candle she owned. The Chinese went in fancy serving dishes. Lastly, she donned a comfy yellow sundress. Her doorbell chimed just as she replaced her lipstick in her makeup bag.
He was here.
She suppressed a flutter of nerves and went to the door with a ready smile. Scott’s eyes widened at the sight behind her.
“What’s all this?” he asked as she led him into the room.
“Back up.”
He chuckled, the most wonderful sound she’d heard in nearly a month. “You didn’t need to go to such lengths. All you have to do is smile, and I pretty much fall over.”
And that’s why she’d missed him. “I’ve missed you,” she echoed her own thoughts.
He looked at her closely, as if checking her sincerity, and he nodded, obviously satisfied. “I’m not going to talk about how much I missed you. It will make me look ridiculous.”
“Do you like Chinese?” Kylie led the way to the kitchen. “The best New York has to offer, in my opinion.”
“I have high respect for your opinion.” Scott piled food on his plate. “That’s why I’m here.”
“Oh?” Kylie joined him at the breakfast bar, sliding onto the tall stool.
“And other reasons.” His measured look turned her insides to mush. He took his time eating, then pushed his plate back. “Am I to assume by all this‒” he gestured to the candles, the food, and her‒“that you’ve forgiven me for not sharing my secret with you?”
“Yes,” Kylie said softly, glad to be certain she was telling the truth.
Intense relief washed over Scott’s handsome features. His blue eyes regarded her tenderly.
“Thank you. Can I ask you a question? Does it bother you that I have a son?”
“No.” What a strange question. “Whyever would it?”
“To some women, it would be a deal-breaker.”
“Not to this woman. I hope I’m not that shallow.”
Scott smiled broadly. “Oh trust me, you’re not. I’m a billionaire. I know shallow when I see it.” He grew suddenly serious. “I’ve been spending more time with Joseph in the past month, and I’m feeling a strong pull toward him. I want to be more than just an uncle figure to him, Kylie. I want to be his dad.”
“You are,” she put in gently.
“I know. But he doesn’t. And I want him to. I want‒I want him to live with me.” He looked at her carefully. “What do you think of that?”
“I think Joseph deserves to be raised by his real dad, especially since that dad is such a wonderful person.”
He laughed softly. “Thank you. I have no idea how to go about it. It could potentially hurt my friendship with Oscar and Olivia.”
“Don’t you think they would understand? They knew the situation when they took Joseph under their wings. I’m sure they didn’t think they would have him for life when they began to care for him as a baby, did they?”
“No. Oscar told me several times during the first few months to come for him when I was ready. But when I never did, he stopped offering.” Kylie longed to reach out and massage the stress out of Scott’s forehead. “They haven’t said so, but I know they consider Joseph theirs now.”
“But he’s not. And they know that.”
Scott puffed air out his lips, rubbing his hand down the side of his face. “What do you think of my desire to actively be Joseph’s father? Your opinion matters a lot to me.”
“I admire it, and I have no doubt you’ll be an amazing father.”
“And it won’t‒won’t change things between us? Kylie, I‒” He took her hand and pulled her off the stool and back into the intimate, candle-lit atmosphere of the living room. “I have something I need to tell you.” He stood so that he faced her, merely inches away. “I love you.”
The three words thawed the last icicle of insecurity that had stubbornly clung to Kylie’s heart, and she wavered on her feet, dizzy from the sudden release. Scott caught her by the waist and pulled her close, and Kylie let herself melt into him. Her hands found his face, and she gazed into his eyes, shining with happiness.
“I love you, too.”
He lowered his face to hers and welcomed her back into his life with the sweetest kiss she’d ever been given.
“Then will you support my efforts to become the father to Joseph that I desire to be?”
“With all my heart.” She initiated the kiss this time, then pulled back. “Talk to Olivia and Oscar. You might be surprised how supportive they will be, too.”
He took a deep breath, one filled with resolve. “I will. Are you willing to be with me when I do?”
She slid her arms around him and splayed her hands out on his firm back. “Yes. I’d be honored.”
The next weekend Scott sat nervously in a booth at Olivia’s favorite burger joint in Philadelphia with Kylie beside him. She was perusing the menu, looking unaffected by his stress.
“It’ll be fine,” she assured him for the hundredth time.
“Sorry we’re late,” Olivia huffed as she and Oscar hurried across the restaurant toward them. “Traffic was a mess. An accident was blocking all lanes. Nice to see you again, Kylie.” The woman sent a smile toward Kylie that would have melted an iceberg, and Scott relaxed a hair. His friends were delighted that he and Kylie had mended their relationship, although no one was happier about it than he.
Chit chat swirled around him as he thought about how to start the difficult conversation ahead of him.
“You’re rather quiet, Scott,” Oscar’s deep voice intruded his study. “What’s on your mind?”
Scott decided to be forthcoming. It seemed to work with Kylie. “Joseph.”
A guarded look took over Oscar’s features, but he nodded. “Go ahead.”
Scott rubbed his hands together, then folded them in front of him. “I’ve done a lot of soul-searching lately, a lot of deep thinking, and‒I’d like to be the father to Joseph that I have failed to be up until now.”
Olivia set her half-eaten burger down slowly, looking at him blankly before turning to Oscar. They shared a look, then both reached out hands at the same time for Scott. Unshed tears shined in Oscar’s eyes.
“I told you, Scott, my dearest friend, that when you were ready, to come.” He glanced at Olivia, who was dabbing at her eyes with a napkin. “We’ve been expecting this.”
Scott knew it wouldn’t be easy for them, or for Joseph. “Anything I can do to ease the transition, let me know. I have appreciated what you have done for Joseph more than I can even express. He will always know you as family.”
“Thank you, Scott,” Olivia croaked into her napkin. “He deserves to be with his Daddy. We’ve loved the chance to take care of him as much as we could. We always knew this day would come. Nothing could really prepare us for it, but we would never try to stop you. This needs to happen. For you, and for Joseph.”
Scott swallowed hard. He didn’t deserve these angels in his life. “Will you tell him who I am? I don’t know how.”
Oscar had a look of peace on his face now as he nodded. “I will. He needs to hear it from me, I think, in order to accept it.”
They talked further to make plans. Kylie suggested a neutral location for the initial meeting when Scott would take Joseph with him. Taking him from Oscar and Olivia’s might be too traumatic for the boy. Ol
ivia chose Franklin Square since the park was one of Joseph’s favorites. She asked for two more weeks with Joseph, and Scott agreed. It was the least he could do.
“As long as this won’t negatively impact our friendship,” he said as they put down their dessert forks. “I could never forgive myself for that.”
“And we could never forgive ourselves for keeping you from your son now that you are ready to be what he needs.” Oscar gave him an appraising looking. “And you are ready, I can tell.”
Scott looked at Kylie, and she smiled encouragingly. “Okay. Then it’s settled.”
Two weeks later Scott found himself waiting anxiously on a park bench next to Kylie. Her delicate hand rested on his arm, and he found the slight touch of utmost comfort.
“Here they come.”
He straightened, rubbing his sweaty hands on his pant legs. Olivia was walking toward them, holding Joseph’s hand. Oscar carried a duffel bag, and Joseph cradled a stuffed Mickey Mouse in his arms.
“Hi Uncle Scottie!” He ran right up to Scott and threw his arms around Scott’s legs.
Oscar squatted down beside him. “Remember what we talked about last night, Jojo? Uncle Scottie is your daddy!”
Fear rose up in Scott, almost choking him. What if Joseph didn’t want him?
He forced himself to look down and meet the eyes of his son. Joseph turned large blue eyes upward. Then a giant smile lit up his face.
“Hi Daddy!”
Scott’s mouth trembled, then slowly opened at the most beautiful word he’d ever heard.
Daddy. He was a Daddy. Tears filled his eyes and slowly ran down his face, and he didn’t even try to stop them. He reached down and swooped Joseph up into his arms.
“Hey, my little man. Do you know how much I love you?”
His son grinned and put little arms around Scott’s neck. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. “I love you, too, Daddy.”
Olivia had tears coursing down her cheeks, and as Scott looked around, there wasn’t a dry eye in the group. Kylie was swiping at the area under her eyes, and Oscar coughed roughly into his hand. Scott caught his eye and mouthed a silent, “Thank you.”
