Dragons Don't Forgive

by D'Elen McClain

  My stomach flutters with my worry and answers I may not wish to have. Their cabin finally comes into view. It’s large and beautifully tucked into a copse of giant trees. I take a deep breath, drop the small pack I carry between my teeth and shift to human. The pack contains clothing which I quickly put on. The front door is open and I make my way to the cabin. A great room with comfortable furniture and beautiful accent pieces greets me. Beyond this room, there’s a large table with eight chairs but only three place settings.

  “Hello,” I say from the door. I don’t want to enter without permission. A loud bang comes from the back of the house followed by feminine giggles. The female, Veda, walks out first smoothing down her skirt and looking flustered. Tyboll follows with a smirk on his face. I have no problem figuring out what they’ve been up to.

  Mates. I smelled it on both of them along with sex. I can’t help but smile indulgently. It’s not like I haven’t scented it on every mated pair I meet; I just wasn’t expecting it today for some reason.

  Veda, her long red hair flowing freely around her shoulders, speaks first. “Welcome, Sierra, daughter of Ivan and Alba, stepdaughter to Talya, and precious daughter to Marcus and Amy, the liege vampires of the Southwest Clan.”

  I’m stunned by her use of my proper extensive name and not quite sure how to answer.

  Tyboll, also with long hair and a decided spark in his eyes, steps around Veda and places his hand out. “Forgive my mate, she loves full titles.” The she-bear playfully slaps his arm. “Please call us Tyboll and Veda and we shall call you simply Sierra,” he says.

  I feel the magic of their shifter blood but also something more. It’s not at all like Sarn’s magic. I like it, though, and feel it flow softly around me. It’s soothing and slightly wilder than my own magic. I can’t stop my lips from spreading into a wider grin. I was so apprehensive about coming today, but now feel at ease. “Thank you,” I reply happily. I’m also relieved that I don’t need to ask for each of their full titles.

  Veda moves forward again. “I’ve prepared a light meal and we wish you to join us. Let me make tea and we shall eat.”

  I’m suddenly quite hungry. “Thank you, I would love that.”

  Veda bustles around the large kitchen and Tyboll pulls out a chair and bids me to sit. Then he helps Veda in a well-practiced way that shows they work together often. Very unlike most bear couples I’ve been around. Nikka had explained that Tyboll is Mandy’s adopted father. I hadn’t seen much of Mandy and her mate, Honey, this past year because they’re on an extended stay with the Eastern Clan, which is Mandy’s original clan family.

  The bears, or maybe I should say witches, carry over a meal that is far from light. I am suddenly hungrier than I thought. I barely touched my food the night before because of my nerves. Sarn gave me a few probing looks, but I sidetracked him with sex.

  Now, I’m starving.

  “Dig in,” Veda says. “I know you’re hungry.”

  I don’t bother waiting for additional prompting. The food smells wonderful and tastes delicious. I’m almost finished with my meal when I speak again, “I need this recipe before I leave. Sarn will love it.” I look up and realize they’ve both stopped eating. “Sarn is the dragon shifter, I’m living with him,” I say even though they must know this. I just don’t know if they are aware he’s dragon.

  “Yes, a dragon shifter,” Tyboll says after a quick glance at his mate.

  That answers my question, but now the food settles heavily in my stomach. I slowly lay my fork across my plate. “This is about Sarn?” I ask with concern. Veda picks up our plates and carries them into the kitchen. Tyboll doesn’t speak until Veda takes her seat again. I’m ready to scream by the time he answers my question.

  “This is about both of you.”

  Veda reaches out and places her hand on mine. “It’s also about your wolf, Sierra.”

  I want to cry. Sarn cannot be the reason my wolf is absent. It will kill him. “Just tell me please,” I whisper.

  Again they glance at each other before Veda speaks. “Your wolf is hiding from you. She knows something and she doesn’t want you to discover it.”

  I’m horribly confused. I’ve never even heard of anything like this. My wolf is my wild side and she’s got a strong influence over me. But I control her. “How on earth could she hide something? I don’t understand.”

  Veda hesitates for only a moment. “She has discovered your true mate and she doesn’t wish you to know.”

  Everything inside me turns cold. A mate. The yearning in my heart for so damn long. And now I’m in love with Sarn. I fold my arms in front of me and lower my head onto them. Tears spill from my eyes at the injustice of what I’m being told. It’s unfair… no that’s too mild, it’s tragic. I always expected to be so happy when I discovered my mate.

  Veda’s hand rubs across my back. I don’t even want to know who it is. I want nothing more than to curl up on the floor and never move again. I’m containing a scream because if I start I will never stop. I cannot do this to Sarn. My poor, poor dragon.

  I cry for a long time while Tyboll and Veda remain silent. When I finally lift my head, Veda hands me a tissue. I blow my nose in a very unladylike manner. Veda pushes my teacup in front of me and I take a sip of the now tepid liquid.

  “Thank you,” I say softly, my voice raw from crying.

  It’s time I discover who will be my life partner. I must be strong. Even though a life without Sarn is more than I can accept. The question must be in my tear-filled eyes because I can’t get the words past my lips and Veda answers anyway.

  She smiles kindly. “I am sorry, Sierra, but you cannot have the man you are mated to and there is much hardship ahead of you. I only say this because you are a strong woman and you will come out on the other side of this heartbreak even stronger.”

  I don’t understand what she’s saying.

  “The dragon is your mate.” She doesn’t let it sink in long enough for me to feel more than shock. “You cannot have him, Sierra.”

  I’m stunned and I can’t help my angry response as I rise to my feet. “I love him. If he’s my mate, why did I waste the last hour crying?” My sentence ends on a shout. They both remain calmly seated and it pisses me off even more.

  It’s Tyboll who answers. “Your dragon is cursed. The curse is too big for me and Veda to change. You need to accept that it cannot be undone. The dragon must fulfill his destiny and that destiny isn’t you.” I start to object, but Veda reaches out and takes my hand again and gives Tyboll a chance to continue. “Your wolf knows this and if you look inside yourself, you know it as truth. It’s the cruelest twist of fate imaginable. If you follow your dragon, you will die in his realm before the next claiming. If he remains here and does not attend the next claiming, he will die.”

  Tyboll’s sadness at this announcement gives me a pause from my anger. I stare back and forth between them and let the words sink in. I call to my wolf and she whines for the first time in many weeks. All the feelings she has held back from me tumble around inside. The mating scent rolls over me. My mated scent that she has trapped inside us these last two months. I’m mated to the dragon and it should be a joyous occasion and all I want is to start crying all over again.

  There are no tears left.

  I walk on heavy legs to the door and leave without looking back. There are many questions I should probably ask, but I’m incapable. I don’t even bother shifting. I need the miles of walking to clear my head. I love Sarn more than my own life. And for that reason I cannot live knowing he died because he didn’t attend the claiming. He will suffer horribly if I follow him to his realm and forfeit my life. I cannot do that to him either.

  The only decision I’m sure of is that Sarn has the right to know. I cannot keep this from him no matter the pain. He needs to stay with me until the next claiming and then somehow, we will say goodbye. It’s all we have. We can spend the years between brides together until he finds his true mate. And loves her. Fuck. Th
e thought of him loving another tears my heart to shreds. Fate is so damn cruel. The bottom line is that he is my mate, but because of the damn curse, I am not his.

  I’m trembling uncontrollably by the time I reach the cabin. Sarn has returned from his fishing trip and he is waiting for me. One look at my face and he knows something is seriously wrong. I cut him off before he can begin questioning me. “Take me for a ride, dragon. Fly me as high as we can go and after that I will tell you my news. Right now, I only want to lie to you.”

  I hate seeing the fear in his eyes. I appreciate his trust, though. He doesn’t say another word, just takes my hand and leads me to our clearing. He shifts and I take my place upon his body. My wolf is content. She actually suffers as much as I do, but now that I know Sarn is my mate she is rolling inside me and absorbing his essence. I feel it now—that connection I’ve waited my entire life for. Sarn’s heart is mine. His breath is my breath. This is why my father lost his mind after the death of my mother. I wipe tears from my face. “Fly, dragon, fly,” I whisper.

  We soar above the mountains while I hold tight to my dragon, my mate, the missing piece to my soul.

  “You must tell me what’s wrong, Sierra,” he pleads inside my head.

  I know he suffers with my silence, but he will suffer more when I tell him. “I will, Sarn, I promise. Just please give me this time.”

  “As you wish.”

  We fly for hours. My tears run over his scales no matter how many I wipe away. At last he takes me to the tall grass. The sun is down and the moon shines above us. He shifts and I’m in his arms taking his lips in a desperate kiss. He tries to pull away, but I refuse. “Love me, dragon. Just love me.”

  I quickly undress. We don’t speak as his lips travel down my chest. He takes me to the ground and continues kissing me until his lips taste my sex. I cry out and writhe with pleasure. His finger enters me and my hips arch against his mouth. When the tight bundle of nerves between my thighs finally explodes, I scream into the night.

  With my wolf’s eyesight, I can see his eyes on me when I come down to earth. I twist away, go to my knees, and lace my fingers with his. “I need you to do something for me.”

  “Anything,” he whispers.

  “Take me as a wolf-mate takes his woman. Do you understand what I’m asking?”

  “I do,” he replies hesitantly.

  I turn around and fall to my hands and knees so my ass is toward him. He covers me. His hard cock finds home before I can take another breath. I forget the heartache I’ve suffered today. My mate is taking me in a way as old as time. It’s our time. Our energy builds and I recognize it. This unique chemistry happens each time we mate. I have known what it was; I just refused to accept it.

  Sarn breathes heavily as our bodies reach for completion. With a final thrust, his cries match mine. Then I feel it. His teeth find my neck and sink into my flesh as the mating ritual takes us away. I drown in the energy as my cries continue. This bond can only be undone by the death of one of us. He can go to his realm for hundreds of years and the bond will remain solid. I’m strong enough to handle him leaving me when the time comes. I will wait and make it through each lonely year. That is how strong my love truly is.

  I’m exhausted when the final waves of ecstasy disappear and I land heavily in the grass. Sarn pulls me into his arms and holds me while I cry.

  “It will be all right, Sierra. You must tell me,” he says while removing strands of wet hair from my face.

  He knows it’s bad. I can hear it in his voice. I manage to explain everything as he holds me tight and I break my dragon’s heart.

  Chapter Eleven

  Sarn

  I am forever cursed. It is nothing I haven’t earned. Sierra doesn’t deserve this, though. We lie in our bed with her curled tight within my arms. She sleeps after hours of tears. I’ve remained awake throughout the night. I reached my decision within minutes of her telling me the truth of our fate. It is the only course that I can possibly take. Prolonging this torture will only kill her slowly. I want her to remember the wonderful times we’ve had. With me back in my realm, the wolf-mating bond should weaken. Sierra needs to go on with her life and find happiness with someone who is not cursed.

  I’m having trouble leaving the bed because I know it will wake her. She will never forgive me for this and I don’t wish to see recrimination in her eyes. When I’ve almost given up on doing that which I must do, Dmitri appears in the room.

  His eyes reflect sadness. “The witches sent me and my mate waits at our home to care for Sierra after you’re gone,” he whispers.

  I have no idea how the witches know, but it matters not. Dmitri being here will make it easier for Sierra and that’s all that matters. I place a final kiss on her cheek and begin extricating myself from her hold. I look down when she stirs. Her eyes go from me to Dmitri as what is happening becomes clear. “No.” And then louder, “No!” she yells as she grabs me and refuses to let go.

  Dmitri takes her arm and his teeth enter her wrist. She fights him, but doesn’t take her eyes from me. “I love you,” I tell her. “Never forget that.”

  Her voice goes soft and dreamy as she begs, “Don’t leave me, Sarn. Give me these years, please…” Her eyes close before she sees the tears that run down my face.

  Dmitri watches me with amber eyes. “We will watch over her my friend.”

  “Thank you,” is all I manage to say. I walk to the door as a truck pulls up to the cabin.

  “The she-bear will take you to the realm crossing.”

  I nod and walk through the door. I don’t look back. I can’t. If I turn, I will never leave. My punishment for all my sins is complete. Dragons don’t forgive, but neither does an angry Goddess.

  ***

  Six months later…

  My servants are gone. They’ve been dispersed to my brother dragons’ castles. I don’t want or need them here. Each day is harder than the last and my rage is dangerous to anyone who gets close to me. I’ve turned away my friends and told them if they return I will consider them enemies. Bastian was angry, Tahr heartbroken, and of course Laryn wasn’t there. He will never forgive me and that is as it should be.

  I dream of Sierra each night. I actually hate to sleep now. The dreams are always of the final look in her eyes with some small variation on the theme of my leaving. Her begging, crying, fighting, and the worst… her dead eyes staring at nothing. I wake up shouting her name on the worst nights.

  Before I sent my servants away, I had them cover the windows in dark cloth and pour out all the alcohol. I do not deserve the escape liquor offers and I do not deserve sunshine. The light left my life when I left my love behind.

  I have twenty-three years and four months until the next claiming. I suffer because I deserve it.

  ***

  Sierra

  Sarn left me even when I begged him to stay. My sad, angry dragon did not understand. We had twenty-four years before we needed to separate. A wolf without her mate is nothing. Maybe I could find a way to move on if I thought him dead. There is no denying he lives. Even without him at my side, I carry him in my soul. It hurts so much knowing he exists without my love. It’s almost the saddest part of being separated from him. Without my arms comforting him, I know he’s lonely and suffering.

  I’m back at the nightclub working beside my brother behind the bar. Roland tries to speak with me about Sarn, but I won’t listen. Sarn is my pain to bear. Roland has opened up about his life and we’ve discussed what he will do with his future. I know he’s speaking of these things in order to get me to share my feelings. I can’t. There are no words to describe my mangled heart that is no longer beating to the pace of Sarn’s.

  Roland grows desperate and decides we need to travel to our father so he can tell him the truth about his sexuality. This is an excuse. Roland is so distressed by me that he’s willing to do anything. I actually don’t mind going because I need to run through the Everglades and let my wolf take the lead for a few weeks.
It’s too crowded in bear territory and everyone knows what has happened to me. I feel their sympathy and it only increases the ache I carry. My father’s clan is made up of mostly cat shifters. They will have no problem giving me space if I request it.

  My wolf is another problem. She’s as listless as I am. Usually we counterbalance the other, but that’s no longer the case. Our pain swirls around us and we are in perfect accord. There is no life without our mate.

  Dmitri gives me and Roland the use of his plane. I’m relieved when the morning finally arrives and it’s time to leave. I don’t know if I will ever return. Maybe if my brother decides to. Even though I won’t speak to Roland about Sarn, I need Roland close to me. Our internal twin bond is all I have to hold onto.

  When I see my father and Talya waiting as we exit the plane, I dissolve into tears. My brother lifts me into his arms before I crumble to the ground. I cry the entire drive to the clan home. My father lifts me from the backseat of the car and carries me inside.

  The cats don’t greet me. They remain quiet as Ivan carries me up the stairs to my room.

  “He left me,” I sob against his chest when the door closes behind us.

  “I know, sweetling. I know.” He sits on the bed and holds me much as he did when I was younger. He understands this pain. He’s the only one who truly can.

  Chapter Twelve

  Five years later…

  Sarn

  Half of my castle is destroyed and the other half is almost unlivable. I’ve charged into the walls until they crumble under my pounding fists. I do not leave the castle during daylight and I haven’t seen the sun in years.

  When darkness falls, the true nightmares begin. This is when I cause most of the destruction. Flying is the only thing that offers any comfort at all. I fly until minutes before the sun begins to rise so I can avoid the light. When your soul is black, the rest of the world should take heed.