Hearts Repaired

by Caraway Carter

  I really thought Curtis might be “the one,” too. More fool me.

  “I’m booked. We might be able to fit you in next week,” Lawrence spoke into the mirror, looking at them over his shoulder.

  Curtis laughed again. “Oh, I know you’ll fit me in just fine.”

  Edgar looked from Curtis to Lawrence. “Wait, you and… Oh, shit. I don’t… Uh, my uncle? I mean, he’s nearly seventy.”

  Lawrence shut off the water and turned to leave.

  “He’s sixty-five. And yes,” Curtis said.

  “Uncle Larry?” Edgar said and stopped Lawrence from walking away. “Look, I’ll just give him your card, and the two of you can set up a date.”

  Lawrence didn’t turn around.

  “Thanks, but we’ve got experience with dates and then some,” Curtis said.

  Lawrence never looked back as he continued toward his office. He shut the door as Curtis walked up after him.

  “Law?” Curtis knocked on the door, no more laughter or mirth in his voice.

  Lawrence talked to the closed door. “I’m booked up. Just come back another day, or go to another shop where you don’t have to see me.”

  “I want to see you.” The door handle turned.

  “You don’t. I embarrass you. I’m no better than the sludge on my face… that’s what you’ll say.” He said the words as though they were lines memorized.

  “I’d never say that.” Curtis pushed the door open and walked toward Lawrence, sitting at his desk with his back to him.

  “You were laughing at me.” Lawrence looked at the wall.

  Curtis moved closer. “No, I was laughing at Ned’s double entendre.”

  Lawrence was desperately wiping his chest with a shop towel to get the oil off. “I know how this will end, Jeffrey. We might as well end it now.”

  “Jeffrey? You don’t know how anything ends till it’s over,” Curtis sat on the edge of the desk beside Lawrence. “I don’t know what happened just now. I’ll leave my keys here, and I’ll see you tonight at class.” He placed his hand on Lawrence’s shoulder, squeezed, and placed his keys on the desk. He walked away, gently closing the door.

  Lawrence shoved the keys across the desk to slam against the wall. He picked up the phone. “Harv, did they put my house on the market yet? Well, don’t bother. I’m planning on getting away for a while.”

  “Going out of town with the young doctor?” Harvey asked.

  He shook his head. “No, he laughed at me. I knew this wouldn’t work out…” He put the phone to his chest as he walked to the door. “Mario, get in here. I’ve got a job for you.” Back into the phone once more, he said, “I need to clear my head, so I’m getting out of town. It was easier when I didn’t care who I fucked.”

  Mario stuck his head in. “Yes, boss?”

  “Get the keys against the wall. There’s a Roadster outside. It needs a tune-up, I think. Just check it, and I’ll get the paperwork to you before I head out.”

  Mario leaned across the desk and got the keys, then looked at Lawrence. “You sure, boss?”

  “Of course I’m sure. It’s just another doctor wanting a soft hand job on their car,” Lawrence spat.

  Mario attempted humor. “But boss, you give the best hand jobs.”

  “I’m not in the mood, Mario,” he said in a monotone voice.

  Mario nodded and walked out the door.

  “Harv, what made me think a doctor would want to be with a mechanic?” he said into the phone, his voice quaking.

  “It’s not that bad. You’re a great mechanic,” Harvey said.

  Lawrence nodded. “If he’s anything like Jeff…”

  “He’s nothing like Jeffrey, from what you’ve told me,” Harvey reminded him. “Go away for the weekend, take a breather, but don’t be rash.”

  “I’m not going to do anything stupid. I’m just going for a drive up the coast. Visit my sister and her wife.”

  “In the Metropolitan?” Harvey asked.

  “No, I’ll take the Roadster in the garage. The Nash wouldn’t make it.” He laughed sadly. “Bye, Harvey.”

  15

  Curtis

  Curtis ran outside and turned back to look at the man he’d fallen for, the man who’d treated him like shit. The man who was pushing him away…

  “Ned, can you give me a ride to my loft?” Curtis opened the passenger-side door of the Prius and sat down.

  He nodded. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know your old guy was my uncle Larry.” As he got in behind the wheel.

  “I didn’t put Law and Larry together.” Curtis stared out the passenger window at the side of the building.

  “Law?” Ned started the engine.

  “It’s my nickname for him. He…” Curtis lowered his head. “I think he called me Jeffrey.” He buckled up.

  “Oh, that’s his shitty guy he dated. My mom told me he was an attorney or something,” Ned said.

  “So, your family knows that Law’s gay?” Curtis asked.

  “Yeah, no one ever had trouble with it. Mom’s a lesbian too, so it runs in the family.” He laughed and got on the 405.

  “I guess the thing with Jeffrey didn’t go so great?” Curtis saw the place where the car had slammed into the center divider a few nights ago, and flashed on the blood pooling around his knees. He shook his head to clear it as Ned slipped across two lanes to sit in the traffic loading onto the 710. Then Ned’s voice hit him in the face like – well, like a car crash.

  “Jeffrey Gibson is anathema to the Barnsdale family.”

  Curtis sat bolt upright and grabbed Ned’s arm. “Jeffrey Gibson? Doctor Jeffrey Gibson?”

  “Doctor? Uh… I mean, I could ask my mom, but I thought he was an attorney.” Ned looked at Curtis’s hand on his arm.

  “I think he told me, but I didn’t… fuck.”

  “What? Want me to ask?” Ned fidgeted with the phone, waiting for the car in front of him to move.

  “No!” Curtis let go of his arm. “I dated the same asshole. He liked to pretend his dates were rough trade, but he’s a total douche.”

  “Yeah, apparently the same thing happened… oh, shit. The same thing. He’s got a hang-up with the men he’s always been attracted to—couldn’t ever imagine a doctor would like a mechanic,” Ned said.

  “I like him. I think I was falling in love with him.” Curtis’s eyes were suddenly stinging, and he tried to stop the tears. “I don’t care what he does for a living. I love spending time with him.”

  “Uncle Larry’s a little stubborn. Once he gets angry, or upset, he’ll disappear from sight.” Ned edged the Prius onto the 710 and headed for downtown.

  Curtis sighed and shook his head. “I hope I didn’t fuck it up. He told me he was retired.”

  “Well, Mom told me that Jeffrey told him he was unclean and a whore. He was a total shit.” Ned looked at Curtis quickly. “You’ve never said anything like that to him, have you?”

  “No, never.” Curtis felt his pockets. “Dammit! He’s got my keys. I forgot to take off my house keys.” He smiled. “Maybe I’ll have my car back tonight and I’ll invite him…”

  “Okay, buddy, you know I love you, but I don’t want to know what you guys get into,” Ned looked over and winked.

  “I’m sorry, I was thinking out loud.” Curtis shook his head. “It’ll be fine. He’s an adult, and he’ll be there tonight.”

  “Hey, Curtis… we’re here. Do you want me to drop you in the garage?” Ned pointed.

  “No, I don’t have my keys. The Promenade is fine. Thanks for the lift. Let me know what I need to do as best man.” Curtis leaned over and left a kiss on Ned’s cheek.

  “Oh, right! I’ll let David know you’re an in for the wedding, and I’ll let you know the deets as soon as I know them.” He squeezed Curtis’s thigh.

  Curtis got out of the car and walked around to the front. “Thanks again.”

  “I hope Uncle Larry comes around,” Ned said.

  “Me too,” Curtis said.

&nb
sp; He yanked on the building’s entrance door and stopped at the front desk. “I left my house keys at the auto shop. Is there a spare around?”

  “Hello, Dr. Fielding. There’s a master key, yes.” The doorman pulled out his key ring.

  “Can you let me into my loft?” Curtis asked.

  “Sure, this happens occasionally.”

  “I’m sorry, my keys should be here later tonight. The mechanic should be dropping them off.” Curtis walked to the elevator and pushed the button.

  “I didn’t think mechanics did house calls.” The doorman burst out laughing. “I thought that was doctors only.” The doors opened when he arrived.

  They watched the numbers. It felt like an eternity to get to his door.

  Curtis stood there, anxious and frustrated. “I’ve got a class tonight. Will you be around to let me in later?”

  “Certainly, Dr. Fielding.” The doorman unlocked the door and turned to leave. “Did you want me to allow the gentleman to have access to the key as well?”

  Curtis stood inside, frowning. “Let’s hold off on that. He might not be around again. I’ll let you know if things change.” He pulled his wallet out before the door closed. “Thank you.”

  The doorman took the folded twenty and smiled. “No problem, Dr. Fielding.”

  Curtis walked across the loft to lie on the bed. How has it only been a week? Such a quick week. He was everything I desired – a man who could follow my thoughts, a great cook, talented with his hands, and great in bed.

  He picked up his phone and looked for a message, but there weren’t any. He called Marilyn.

  “How could I fuck everything up?” he sighed.

  “What?” Marilyn said.

  “I don’t have a job, and I just fucked up any chance of having a someone in my life. How can you want to be in business with an idiot like me?” The tears came again, sudden, faster than he’d expected.

  “Calm down. What’s going on?” Marilyn said.

  “Can you meet me at the Brass Lamp early tonight? Like for dinner or something? Before class starts?” Curtis wiped his eyes.

  “Sure, I’ll ask Henry to just meet us there,” Marilyn said.

  “Thank you. I’ll see you in about twenty minutes?” He hung up, and took off his clothes as he walked to the shower. It wasn’t until he looked in the mirror that he realized he had tearstains on his cheeks and his eyes were bloodshot. The warm shower took some of the agony away, but he felt like he had after Jeffrey had left him.

  He lay on the bed and air-dried himself. He stared out the window, watching the sun fade from the sky. The purples and reds making gorgeous cloud cover made him think of the background sky in the painting at the Getty. He hadn’t realized he’d dozed off until he was startled awake by his phone buzzing on the bed beside him.

  He picked it up, read the message, and smiled. Oh fuck, Marilyn. I fell asleep, I’ll be right there. He hit Send.

  Curtis found his spare key in the nightstand, the key he’d had made recently. I’ve been seeing Law for a week and I had a key made? He’d known in his heart giving a key to Law was the right thing, but now his head wasn’t so sure. He’d use the key for himself.

  16

  Lawrence

  Lawrence stopped at the sink, pumped the GoJo onto his hands, and began scrubbing.

  “Hey, boss, this key chain has his house keys and stuff on it,” Mario shouted from the first bay.

  “Goddammit, Cur, you motherfucker,” Lawrence yelled furiously.

  “You know this guy?” Mario walked over to him. “Is he the one you hurt yourself over?”

  “Shit, Mario, you’re perceptive,” Lawrence looked over his shoulder.

  “Well, he was crying when he left. I wondered if that meant anything,” Mario said quietly next to him.

  “That guy wouldn’t cry over a mechanic. He’s a doctor. You didn’t know Jeffrey, my ex…” Lawrence spat out.

  “Not this again.” Mario rolled his eyes. “That dude was an asshole. You’ve got so much to offer, Lawrence. You’re the most compassionate man I’ve ever known. You can take anything that’s thrown at you. Why can’t you believe that someone like him could love you?” Mario leaned against the wall the sink was on.

  “Because, Mario, I’m just a mechanic. I fix cars for a living.” He motioned with his hands.

  “You’re one big dumbass, boss.” Mario threw up his hands in exasperation.

  “What?” He wiped his hands on the one clean part of his coveralls and headed to the showers.

  Mario called after him. “Sure, just walk away because you don’t like what you’re hearing. I never realized how fucking stubborn you really are,” Mario followed him into the shower room. “Now I see it.”

  Lawrence stepped out of the coveralls, slipped out of his briefs, and turned on the shower. “You just going to stand there and gawk at me?”

  “It’s not like I haven’t seen your naked ass before. I’m here to let you know you’re wasting a great thing.” Mario kicked the door shut and leaned against it.

  “You don’t know what a great thing is.” Lawrence pulled the curtain shut.

  “Oh, you’re lucky I’m not smacking you into that shower,” Mario opened the door and shouted. “Tim, get working on the car in bay one. It’s a tune-up.” The door slammed shut again. Then Mario took a deep breath.

  “Lawrence, I respect you, and I understand how hurt you are. I have a family. My wife and kids are the greatest things in my life. This job and you in my life are also great.” Mario yanked the curtain back. “I’ve never felt more enriched than I have since I’ve been working with you.” Mario fought back tears. “But if you don’t get out of your past, you’ll be alone all over again. I just want you to find some happiness. What will you do when you retire? It better not be visiting me as I work, like your friend Harvey does.”

  “Why are you talking to me like this?” Lawrence looked at him, water running down his face. It’s not tears. It’s just the shower.

  Mario got closer. “Because someone needs to smack you back into reality.”

  “I’m being realistic. Have you ever known of a doctor and a mechanic being together?” Lawrence stood in the corner of the stall. “I made this shop the place it is today because I finally listened to the Jeffrey voice in my head that told me I’d never amount to anything. Before he even stepped in this shop, he’d talk about all the stupid blue-collar workers, how they never had goals or desires above getting dirty. He told me that he’d never be caught dead with me again, that our jobs were the complete opposite of each other.” Lawrence began scrubbing the rough pumice soap over his body.

  He’d expected the conversation to be over, but

  Mario didn’t leave. Instead, he stood inches from Lawrence, keeping him in the shower. “If he said that shit, then he had no eyes.”

  Lawrence tried to be flip. “Mario, I didn’t think you wanted me like that.”

  “I’m not here to fuck you, Lawrence. I’m here to stop you from screwing up your life,” Mario said.

  “I’m sixty-five. My life doesn’t have much left!” Lawrence scraped harder with the pumice.

  “Why did you leave that note for me? You didn’t even have the balls to ask me to buy you out.” Mario held up the wrinkled note in his hand.

  “Because Harv wouldn’t ask you.” Lawrence turned his head. “Because I didn’t want him to find out I was a mechanic. I wanted him to think I just invested in the business. That I was intelligent and secure.”

  “He seemed to me he doesn’t care that you’re a mechanic. Stop being stubborn. You wanted to build a life with someone based on lies?” Mario threw the note in the trash. “That’s what I think about your offer.”

  “I didn’t say anything about building a life. He was just someone I was fucking.” Lawrence hated the words even as they left his mouth.

  “You’ve fucked other men before, and haven’t walked around head over heels about them. This one felt different. Selling the shop and
your house? That sounds like building a life.” Mario stepped closer, the water dappling his coveralls. “You burned your fucking hand on an engine block. You’ve never been so careless before. And do you remember what you were talking about when you did that?”

  “Yes… him.” Lawrence slid down the shower to sit in a heap in the corner.

  Mario stepped into the large tiled shower, his bulk stopping the water from hitting Lawrence in the face. “Come on, boss. You shouldn’t do this to yourself.” He reached down and lifted the broken man up from the floor.

  Lawrence wasn’t a weak man. He had the stamina and build of a man who ran and worked out daily. His regimen came in the work of running a business, by working on cars. The bending, the stretching, the lifting, and the satisfaction he got from bringing a car back to life. But right now, he felt weak.

  “Snap out of it. If you need me to, I will scrub you clean. Don’t think I haven’t ever done this for another guy. I’m not interested in stepping into your relationships, but I will not let you sink this low. You’re far better than this.” Mario pulled him up.

  “Mario, I’m not. What if this guy was the last one interested, and I just pushed him away?” Lawrence looked up into Mario’s eyes.

  “Did you tell him you never wanted to see him again?” Mario pulled harder.

  “No, I… no. I accused him as though he were Jeffrey.” Lawrence let go and let himself be pulled up.

  “Well, if you or I really had the hots for each other, that hug would have done it. I’m as limp as I was before I entered this shower.”

  Lawrence laughed out loud. “I used to think if you ever left your wife, I’d be the place you’d stop and rest.”

  “Oh, I might still do that, but it wouldn’t be for sex. It’d be for the talk you’d give me.” Mario held Lawrence’s face in his hands. “Just like the talk I just had to give you. Now, finish your fucking shower, and get those house keys to that guy.” Mario stepped out, stripped off the wet coveralls, grabbed another pair, and was gone.

  Lawrence finished rinsing off, toweled off, dressed, and then saw the key chain on the sink. He pocketed it and headed out.