Wartime Blues for the Harpers Girls

by Rosie Clarke

  ‘You could tell him to sell the place and invest the money for you and your sister.’

  ‘That land has been in our family hundreds of years.’ His face wore a tortured look. ‘Once upon a time I wanted nothing more than to take it over in the future – but I didn’t expect to be tied to this damned chair.’

  ‘I’m sure you can find ways to get around the land,’ she said. ‘You know how to drive a trap and with a little help you could easily manage it. Besides, it’s your home and you may find you feel better there than here…’

  ‘Everywhere I go, she will be there, looking at me and they will all whisper and pity me.’ His eyes were dark with the pain of rejection.

  ‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, stop pitying yourself,’ Maggie said sharply. ‘You’re alive and you have a family and a home to go to – find a new life and fall in love with someone else. You’re not the only one to lose the person you love.’

  He looked at her oddly, ‘Come with me, Maggie – as my wife. It might not be a proper marriage, because I’ll never be able to lie in your bed or give you children – but I’ll give you all you want – clothes, pretty things…’

  Maggie gasped. She hardly knew him. ‘Don’t be foolish. You’ll find someone,’ she said. ‘Just because one girl rejected you, others won’t if they love you.’

  ‘I don’t want them to,’ he said sullenly. ‘I don’t want to be pitied or fussed over… you wouldn’t do that…’ He turned his piercing gaze on her. ‘I’ll go back home if you’ll come and be my wife, or nurse, whatever you choose… I can’t face it without you!’

  As she stood looking out at the moon that evening, Maggie wondered what had made her tell Colin that she would think about his proposal. Was it pity or what Sadie had told her about her marriage that had made her waver? She’d known him a few weeks and had started to like him – but that wasn’t a reason for marriage.

  At first, she had firmly denied his request, telling him that it was just foolishness, that he would fall in love again, but he’d looked so miserable and when he’d told her he’d rather die than go home to that empty house without her, she’d said she would think about it. His face had brightened immediately.

  ‘I knew you would,’ he’d said and grabbed her hand, kissing the back of it. ‘You know it makes sense, Maggie, for both of us. You don’t have anyone else and you can’t return to nursing the wounded – I shan’t ask much of you. You just have to look pretty and pretend you’re in love with me in company.’

  ‘I do care about you,’ Maggie had said. ‘I like you, Captain Morgan, but I don’t see what you would get out of the arrangement.’

  Yet she did see quite clearly what he wanted and needed from her. He’d been rejected and humiliated by a girl he’d loved more than life and he could only go home – to a place he actually loved deep down – if he could rescue his pride. He needed to be able to show the girl who had hurt him so badly that he didn’t care and somehow that touched Maggie’s heart.

  So, she’d found herself saying she was thinking about it and he’d taken that as a yes and gone off to send a message to his father, telling him he was getting married and to prepare the west wing for him and his bride.

  Maggie looked up at the moon and sighed. ‘I can’t have you, my love,’ she said, picturing Tim, the man she’d loved and lost to the war. ‘So why not make someone else happy?’ Sometimes she could hardly remember what Tim looked like, but tonight his image was bright in her mind.

  ‘Maggie, be happy…’ She seemed to hear the whisper in her ear and shivered. Tim had gone. He couldn’t hold her or kiss her and perhaps life with Colin would be interesting and wake her up from this dead sleep she’d fallen into before and during her illness. For the moment she couldn’t feel any emotion other than sympathy for a man in need. Perhaps her emotions had taken such a battering in France that she was no longer capable of feeling love or real happiness… perhaps it didn’t matter what she did any more…

  16

  Sally looked at the new window Marco had just dressed and smiled. The summer seemed to be racing ahead, the days merging one into the other during the month of August. It was a scene of harvesting and homecoming, a kitchen table laden with platters and made to look as if supper was about to be served. Outside a cottage window, sheaves of golden corn could be seen in the backdrop. It was a celebration of the end of summer and of the hope of peace again, when the men would return and life would be back to normal. She could almost smell the new bread and meat roasting over an open fire.

  ‘It’s perfect,’ she told Marco with a smile. ‘It holds the promise of plenty and of peace in the midst of war, of friends and family and the kind of happiness we all took for granted before the conflict.’ The touch of an old pair of Army boots and a man’s combat jacket slung over a chair was a nod to the war, still raging in France, particularly in Ypres, where the town was taking a battering from the artillery fire and the fighting was fierce, as well as in other countries, but it also seemed to say, ‘Don’t worry, we’re winning and we’ll all be home soon.’

  ‘I’m glad you like it,’ he said. ‘I met a family in France who ran a farm and it looked a little like this.’

  ‘Yes,’ Sally nodded, understanding in her heart and eyes as she looked at him. Something was eating at Marco but she had no idea what it might be. ‘We’re all so glad to have you back.’

  ‘I’m glad to be here,’ he assured her. ‘I’ve felt a bit guilty at leaving you in the lurch, but I think Marion has some good ideas.’

  ‘Yes, she does, and I know she tries hard, but she isn’t quite as good as you at giving them that extra zing.’ Sally glanced at her watch. ‘I have an appointment, so I must go – but I hope everything is all right…’ She hesitated, ‘With your family?’

  ‘What? Oh yes, everything is fine.’ He nodded, seeming as if she’d dragged him from somewhere else. ‘Sadie went to visit Maggie Gibbs one weekend – nearly a month ago now. I think she managed to visit twice before she had to get the train home. It was a long journey there and back and she was tired when she got home, but she enjoyed the visit. She wondered if I’d cope with our son alone, but I enjoyed it; we missed her, of course, but we managed fine. Pierre is a delight to look after.’

  Sally nodded her understanding. ‘I want to visit Maggie when I can. It isn’t as easy to get to visit where she is now, but I must make time. It’s just that I’ve had such a lot on…’

  ‘She should ask to be transferred to London, then you could all visit her easily.’

  ‘That would be ideal…’

  Sally left him to the contemplation of his window. It was his afternoon off and she wondered how he would spend it. Would he go straight home to be with his family? Perhaps she was imagining things when she thought he seemed a little reserved, as if his thoughts were elsewhere rather than with Harpers or his family? Perhaps he was just thinking about his next new display, but she thought he seemed sadder than he had before he left for France last time.

  Going up to her office, Sally ordered coffee to be brought in when her appointment arrived. It was with one of the best new firms she’d discovered recently. Ben had complimented her on the new ranges, and she was very pleased with the variety of bags and good-quality ladies’ leather shoes their salesman had sold her on his previous visit. She hoped he would have some new stock to show her and that she would be able to order a substantial number of bags from him. Rachel’s department was doing very well despite the war.

  Sally smiled and rose to her feet as her secretary showed the young salesman into her office. Henry Jefferies had been born with a club foot and was unfit for war service, though he’d joined a civil defence team and took his turn on fire watch in the evenings, as he’d proudly told her. ‘We never know when the enemy might try to sabotage our factories, Mrs Harper. I belong to a team of volunteers and I patrol various important sites at night. I may not be able to march or negotiate ditches, but I can shoot straight and I shall if the need arises.’
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br />   Yes, she liked Henry Jefferies and she would continue to increase her order with his firm even when the war was over and things were back to normal – if that ever happened. Ben had told her that they were definitely winning the war with the help of their Allies, despite the setbacks and the failures, but sometimes she thought he just said it to cheer her.

  Ben had asked her what was wrong the last time he was home and she hadn’t felt able to tell him. Sally wasn’t sure why she had this sensation of unease, but it might have something to do with her shadow. Everywhere she went she was followed. Sometimes, she saw the woman, sometimes it was just a sense she was there, but Sally had begun to feel haunted and she’d tried to confront the woman but she always hurried away. It wasn’t so much her own safety Sally worried about but Jenny’s – supposing the woman was watching her so that she could snatch her baby away. Her thoughts had drifted to her problem, the problem she hadn’t been able to share with Ben, though she didn’t know why. She wasn’t feeling quite herself – a bit under the weather, though she wasn’t sure what was wrong.

  ‘Is something troubling you, Mrs Harper?’ the salesman asked and she made herself smile as she hastily brought her thoughts back to her meeting.

  ‘Nothing at all,’ she assured him. ‘I like everything you’ve shown me – now how much of these lines can your firm supply?’

  ‘Not as many as we’d like,’ he said regretfully. ‘But we’ll do our best for you – you’re our most important customer now.’

  After Henry Jefferies had gone, Sally did some paperwork and then left the office. She stopped to speak to Ruth for a few minutes, telling her secretary that she would not return that afternoon.

  ‘I’m going to take my daughter out in the sunshine for a couple of hours. Summer will soon start to fade and it will be September,’ she told Ruth. ‘I’ll ring you at four after I get home and if anyone needs me urgently, I’ll contact them then.’

  ‘Yes, of course, Mrs Harper,’ Ruth said. ‘It will do you good to get out for a while – you’ve been looking a bit peaky lately…’

  Sally nodded but didn’t answer. She didn’t feel her usual bouncy self and put it down to this feeling of unease hanging over her. As soon as Ben came home again, she made up her mind she would tell him about her shadow. He’d rung her a few times but hadn’t been able to get home and she hadn’t wanted to worry him.

  This mystery woman following her might be dangerous, but Sally feared it was her daughter the woman wanted. She’d decided she must be a childless woman and desperate to have a child, which made Sally fear for her little girl in case she was snatched. Both Pearl and Mrs Hill had been warned that if they took Jenny out, they must be careful, but Sally’s sister-in-law thought she was being paranoid.

  ‘If she’d wanted to snatch her, she would have done it before now,’ Jenni had said. ‘Honestly, Sally, she sounds as if she is fascinated with you but afraid to approach you to me. Why don’t you just ask to talk to her?’

  ‘I did try,’ Sally had said but she’d been sharp, she knew. Was it possible that Jenni was right? Was the woman just lonely, looking for a friendly face to talk to?

  Collecting Jenny from her helper, on impulse Sally asked if Pearl would accompany them on their walk in Victoria Park. It was beautiful there with its bandstand and the beautifully kept gardens, and just a short bus ride from where Ben and Sally lived in the nicer area of Hackney. Sometimes, she’d walked it on her own on a good day, but today they took a bus to the park.

  Feeling safer with Jenny between them, Sally keeping a firm hold on the leading reins she’d bought to anchor the little girl to her, she relaxed and enjoyed the sunshine. They passed the beautiful Victorian drinking fountain and found a bench to sit on. Sally took the rein from its harness and released her daughter, who was impatient to run and play with her ball. For a time, Jenny was content to run after the ball and throw it in their direction, leaving either Sally or Pearl to toss it back. Then she wanted to explore further and ran off giggling, with Pearl chasing after her. Sally rose to follow and then sat down with a bump as her head spun and she closed her eyes.

  She sensed rather than heard the presence next to her and her eyes opened with a start. The woman who had been following her was sitting on the bench, right at the far end, leaving a space between them. She looked at Sally and then said, ‘You’re ill.’

  ‘Who are you?’ Sally asked, not bothering to deny that she didn’t feel right. ‘Why are you following me?’

  The woman hesitated, then, ‘I’ve been wanting to speak to you,’ she said. ‘Your name is Sally Harper now, but what did the nuns tell you it was when you were little?’

  Sally took a deep breath. She was trembling all over and felt close to fainting yet for some reason she couldn’t help herself replying, ‘Sally Ross – why?’

  The woman smiled and despite her age and the clear signs of suffering in her face something made Sally’s heart race. That smile was familiar and even before she asked the question, she half knew the answer. Suddenly, it all made sense as it came to her in a blinding flash.

  ‘You’re my mother – aren’t you?’

  ‘Yes. My name is Sheila Ross and I don’t blame you if you hate me. I left you with the nuns because I had no hope of giving you a decent life and it was meant to be just until I was able to look after you – but, when I went to fetch you, they’d sent you to another home and wouldn’t tell me where you were.’

  Sally felt a rush of anger against the nuns for what they’d done. ‘They wouldn’t tell me anything about you until I left them – and then one of the nuns, a little kinder than the others – gave me a silver cross and said you were dead.’ Sally’s head was pounding, and she could hardly see the face of the woman on the bench. ‘Are you really my…’ She rose to her feet, swayed and then slumped back to the bench. The question died on her lips as the dizziness swept over her and she leaned forward and was suddenly very sick. In the distance, she could hear voices, some she knew and some she didn’t.

  ‘What happened to Mrs Harper?’ That was Pearl’s voice, accompanied by a wail from Jenny.

  Another voice, male this time, joined in, ‘May I be of assistance? I was with her earlier and I thought she looked a little unwell… I am Mr Marco, we work together at Harpers. I came to the park for a walk on my way home. I had even hoped I might find Mrs Harper here – but not like this!’

  ‘I’m Jenny’s nanny,’ Pearl said. ‘I need to get her into a taxi and take her home.’

  Marco nodded. ‘She looks as if she needs a doctor. You should take the little girl home and let me take her to the hospital.’

  Sally’s feverish mind sought another voice but did not hear it. She tried to ask for her mother – for Sheila Ross – but she couldn’t form the words. Her mouth tasted awful and her head was still swimming as she opened her eyes and tried to focus.

  ‘What happened? Where is my mother?’

  ‘Your mother?’ Pearl looked puzzled as she coped with a struggling child who wanted to reach her mother. ‘There was a woman, but she shouted to me to come and then went off…’

  Sally’s brain wouldn’t let her understand. She tried to stand but swayed again and found herself supported by a pair of strong arms and smelled a familiar masculine scent as he bent and lifted her. She let him do it, glad of his help, glad he was there when she needed him, but surely, she could walk?

  ‘I can manage…’ she protested faintly.

  ‘What would Ben say to me if I let you try and you fell and hurt yourself?’ Marco chided. ‘It’s a good thing Ruth told me where you were headed and I came looking for you. I was going to ask you for help, but now I’m here to help you…’

  ‘You’re worried about something,’ she murmured hazily. ‘I sensed it earlier…’ Sally tried to focus, but her head kept going round and round. She wasn’t sure if she was talking sense or rubbish.

  ‘I’ll come to the hospital with you,’ Pearl raised her voice to be heard above Jenny’s wails.r />
  ‘No…’ Sally managed. ‘I know Marco well – take Jenny home. I’ll be all right.’

  Pearl agreed then and Sally was vaguely aware of her rescuer hailing a taxi and of being helped inside. However, her head was now spinning wildly again and by the time they reached the hospital, she didn’t know much as she was hurriedly taken inside and wheeled into a small room. Because her illness was sudden and unknown, she would be isolated until the doctors knew what was wrong with her. She had some kind of fever, but all she was aware of was feeling wretched all over.

  17

  ‘Thank goodness,’ Beth cried emotionally as the man entered the hospital room late that evening. ‘I came as soon as Pearl rang me and I’ve been sitting here with Sally for three hours, but she hasn’t stirred. I’m sorry I had to call you, Ben. Sally gave me a number to ring if ever something terrible happened – and I thought this warranted using it…’

  ‘Yes, of course it does, though I only got the message when I arrived home. I was already on my way here when they tried to contact me… Pearl was distraught and told me that there was an incident in the park just before Sally was taken ill. Pearl wasn’t sure, but she thought some scruffy old woman had attacked her…’

  ‘I know she’s been a bit anxious because she thought she was being followed,’ Beth told him and placed a hand to her back. ‘I’m sorry, but I have to go home, Ben. I’m too close to my time to sit here any longer.’ She gave a self-conscious laugh. ‘I’m sure the nurses thought I might give birth at any moment and I may!’

  ‘You were good to come,’ Ben said, glancing anxiously at Sally, who was lying with her eyes closed. ‘Have they given you any idea of what is wrong with her?’

  ‘The nurse I spoke to said she thinks it is some sort of fever or perhaps blood poisoning. To be honest, I don’t think they really know yet.’ She sighed. ‘I hate to leave, although if it is something catching, I shouldn’t be here in my condition. I had to come, Ben, no matter what. You know I love her like a sister. You will let me know if there’s any change?’