Escapades (Trident Ink Book 1)

by Lilly Atlas

  “Oh my God,” she said as he strummed his fingers through her slippery opening.

  “You want me,” he stated.

  “Always,” she immediately replied. “All. The. Time.”

  He closed his eyes and let the words wash over him. “I need you. I’m trying. It’s just…this is all I have right now.” She deserved more. Deserved him to pour out his soul, but he was still lost in his head.

  She turned and met his gaze, her eyes full of the love he’d come to expect from her. He fucking missed that look. “I need you too. I will always need you. This is enough…for now.”

  That was it. Thankfully she was drenched because foreplay was over. If he wasn’t inside her in the next few seconds, he’d start howling at the moon. “Spread,” he demanded, impressed there was enough blood going to his brain to make him speak.

  Alyssa must have sensed how close to the edge he was riding, because she didn’t bother with any teasing or playful quips. All she did was widen her stance and wait, her breath coming in choppy bursts.

  “That’s good, baby.” Her pussy gleamed in the harsh office light. Part of him would love to delve in and lap up all that juice with his tongue, but his cock was in charge and it wouldn’t be put off another second.

  “Please don’t make me wa—” Alyssa screamed as he slammed to the hilt with one powerful thrust. “Yes,” she said on a breathy moan. “So perfect.”

  He couldn’t have said it better himself. She was hot, tight, creamy, and soft as silk around his cock. He’d been wrong before. There was one thing better than her mouth, and it was her pussy.

  This was exactly where he belonged. It was like coming home. If home was where one went for the hottest, most extreme pleasure imaginable. How had he neglected this part of himself, this part of them for so long? He didn’t deserve this anymore, but he was just selfish enough to take it.

  With each thrust, he increased his speed and force until he was fucking her with a strength that shook the desk. A half-full Styrofoam coffee cup teetered precariously, and papers flew off the desk, littering the floor.

  “Oh my God, I love this,” Alyssa said between gasps for breath. “Harder, harder.”

  He gripped her hips with a bruising strength and slammed into her again and again. His balls tightened and felt hot to the point of boiling, but he gritted his teeth and held off the orgasm. No way would he come before feeling her lose control all over his cock.

  When he released her hip and fisted her hair, giving a less than gentle tug, Alyssa screamed again. “Derek! Fuck me, Derek!”

  Balls-deep inside her, he stilled. She’d screamed his name. His real name. Not some made up name for a game the therapist thought would help them reconnect. His real fucking name. And it was the best goddamned thing he’d ever heard in his entire life.

  Two years.

  It had been two years since he heard his name shouted in ecstasy. That was wrong on so many levels.

  “What happened? Why did you stop?” Her voice was high pitched and breathy, desperate. “Oh shit! I messed it up. I’m sorry.” She pushed up on her elbows and tried to look over her shoulder, but he still held her by the hair. “It just felt so good, I didn’t think. I should have called you Ty—”

  “No!” He used his free hand to slap her ass.

  She jumped and let out a half yelp, half moan.

  “Never again. I know why we did it, and I know it wasn’t real, and I think it even worked, but I never want to hear another man’s name when I’m inside you. Ever.” He tugged her hair and this time the noise she emitted was all lusty moan. “Got it?”

  “Yes,” she said, squirming on his dick. The walls of her pussy rubbed all over him and his eyes nearly crossed. “You need to start moving, Derek. I can’t take it.”

  He slapped her ass again and her pussy spasmed around him. Her hips moved like she was trying to fuck herself on his cock, but his pelvis pressed her to the desk limiting her ability to move. “This is my show, baby. Now, say it again.”

  “Derek,” she said.

  Slap.

  “The whole thing.”

  “Fuck me, Derek.”

  Slap.

  “Again.” He drew his hips back until she whimpered from the loss.

  “Fuck me, Derek!” This time she yelled and smacked a palm against the desk.

  “Goddamned right I’m gonna fuck you.” He rammed back into her and let go of the thin thread of control he’d been clinging to. He fucked her like an animal. Like a wild beast who’d been separated from its mate and had just found her again.

  Alyssa gave as good as she got, pushing back into him with every stroke. Cries of pleasure flew from her each time he bottomed out in her pussy.

  “I can’t hold it back,” she said.

  Thank God. He was about two seconds from filling her to the brim. “Come, baby. Come now.”

  He’d barely gotten the words out when her pussy clamped down and she screamed out his name as her body trembled against her desk. The sight of her coming, feel of her squeezing him, and smell of her arousal filling the room overwhelmed him and he finally gave himself over to the monster orgasm. “Fuck, Lyss,” he yelled as he spilled deep inside his wife.

  Spent, he collapsed on Alyssa’s back, dwarfing her with his hulking form. “I’ll let you breathe in a second, baby. Your pussy sucked out all my energy.”

  Beneath him, she chuckled. “I like the feel of you on me.”

  With a grunt, he forced himself to rise and pressed kisses along her spine. “Maybe when we’re in a bed, but it can’t feel good to have two hundred twenty-five pounds of man squashing you against the wood.”

  He helped her up and spun her, drawing her into his arms for a deep kiss.

  Minutes later, when they came up for air, she said, “Hi, Derek.” Love shone from her eyes clear as day. There wasn’t a hint of anger over the way he left the therapist’s office. Too bad what he had to say would probably extinguish that light. Guilt hit him square in the gut.

  “Hey, Lyss. Have I told you how much I like your desk?”

  “Ha, once or twice, big guy.”

  He snorted. “Yeah, guess it’s not the first time we made use of it, huh?”

  She slipped her hands under the shirt he still wore and coasted them up and down the ridges of his abs. “Not sure there’s a piece of furniture we own between our house, the shop, and my office that we haven’t broken in. What’s in the bag?”

  “Chinese.”

  “Oh man, you must have read my mind. I’m starved.” She scraped a manicured nail over his nipple and he groaned.

  It should have been impossible with the way he just came, but her small hands roaming all over his skin had his cock twitching against her stomach. If she kept at it much longer, she’d find herself right back over the desk.

  If he knew his wife, she wouldn’t utter a word of complaint. In fact, he probably wouldn’t get the chance to bend her over again. She was likely to shove him down on the couch, climb on, and ride him to exhaustion.

  Sounded damned good to him.

  As much as he wanted that exact scenario to play out in more than just his head, he’d been selfish enough for one night.

  They had too much to talk about. And when it was over, she just might slap him across his face and let him know what he already knew.

  A knife pierced his heart. Christ, if his actions caused him this pain, he could only imagine what he was doing to her.

  He was a bastard.

  So, instead of letting the fantasy unwind, he gently removed her hands from his abdomen. “Why don’t you go get cleaned up while I unpack it. We can eat on the couch.”

  She beamed at him then headed for the private bathroom attached to her office. With her dress bunched around her waist and her panties a shredded mess on the floor, he was treated to a view of her twitching ass as she walked away from him.

  Damn, his wife was one blessed lady. He wolf-whistled at her and she turned and winked before disappearing in

to the bathroom.

  When the door clicked shut, he set about unpacking the cartons of food and pouring two glasses of Alyssa’s favorite Chardonnay.

  Now that his temptation of a wife was out of view, guilt hit him hard. Fucking her over the desk hadn’t been part of his plan for the evening. He’d just come to talk. But once he’d seen her in that boner-inducing dress that hugged every curve and teased with just a hint of cleavage, he’d been helpless to do anything else.

  There was so much they had to work out. So many words of apology that he owed her. Especially after the way he acted the last two times they were together. He’d meant to say all those words before touching her.

  But then he’d seen her and all his good intentions were shot to hell. Damn it, he just craved his wife. Plain and simple.

  Simple.

  Fuck. Nothing about their marriage was simple at the moment.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Alyssa smoothed her hands over the wild strands of her hair then glared at her image in the mirror. They’d done it again. Sex without a condom. For the past few days, she’d been forcing herself to think of anything but the possibility of pregnancy, not that it worked. The worry was on her mind constantly. Until Derek walked in and got her all hot and bothered. Then it was easy. Then all rational thought fell straight out of her brain.

  Damn it.

  She rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. Maybe there’d be some divine inspiration up there.

  Nope.

  She had to keep it light in her head, the thoughts of being pregnant. Because if she allowed it to truly seep in, she’d go into full panic mode at the thought of bringing another child into the world. Another child that she’d love with every fiber of her being. Another child that could get hurt or sick and be lost to her yet again.

  A low moan filled the bathroom as the pain of Katie’s passing washed over her.

  She had to tell Derek. It wasn’t fair of her to keep it from him.

  Instead of stalling any longer, she gave her reflection a harsh stare and tossed her long hair into a messy bun on top of her head. The style made her look young, which in fact, she still was. Lately, she’d been feeling aged beyond her years.

  Tragedy did that to a person.

  She shook off the maudlin thoughts, straightened her dress, and flicked off the light while reaching for the door. Derek sat on the couch, jeans back in place, staring into a Chinese takeout carton. Kung Pao Chicken was her guess. And for her, he’d have gotten—

  “Oh hey.” He glanced up and blinked. “Didn’t even hear the door open. Must be losing my edge. Here, I got you shrimp lo mein.”

  Her favorite.

  “Thanks.” She accepted the carton and disposable chopsticks as she sank onto the leather couch. Without panties, she felt a little drafty and curled her legs underneath her bottom. Facing Derek, her knees rested against his thigh.

  How many nights over the years had they sat this very same way? First on the sofa at either his or her apartment. Then in the apartment they shared together. And finally, in the home they’d purchased shortly after getting married. Nights like this were her absolute favorite.

  They’d eat, chat about their day, touch, kiss. Eventually the caresses would turn heated and they’d abandon the food in favor of tasting each other. Sometimes it was sweet, loving, slow. Others it was a mad frenzy of desire and need. But always, it ended in an explosion of pleasure for both of them—usually more than once for her.

  She was pretty certain Katie was conceived on one of those perfect nights.

  She had to say something. But the words just wouldn’t come.

  It was ridiculous, really. She didn’t have a clue, not a symptom, or a sign, or a feeling that she was pregnant. It was way, way too early. But she was freaking out nonetheless. Confessing the possibility of pregnancy to her unflappable man would help. He’d stay rational, calm, and talk her off the ledge like he was so adept at doing.

  “Mmm, this hit the spot,” she said as the salty flavor of the noodles flooded her senses. “I feel like I could inhale this whole thing in under three minutes. Care to challenge me?”

  Narrowed eyes met her gaze. “What’s with the voice?”

  “Huh,” she asked.

  “You sound weird. Like falsely cheerful.”

  With a sigh she could almost feel weighing her down, she stuck the chopsticks in the carton and gave Derek her full attention. “I cut my foot a few weeks ago.”

  His focus shifted to her foot. “Shit. You okay? Should you be walking on it?”

  “Oh, no it’s fine.” She waved away his concern. “It was a tiny scratch. I was wearing socks in the garage and stepped on a nail. Yes, I know it was stupid to be barefoot in there, but I was in a rush. And it was supposed to be a quick run in and run out. But then I couldn’t find what I was looking for, so I was rummaging around.”

  Great, now she was babbling about her shoes.

  “Uh, anyway, the nail was filthy, so a doctor gave me an antibiotic just to make sure it didn’t get infected.”

  Concern marred his face and he’d stopped eating as well. “But it’s okay now, right?”

  “Yes, totally fine. Barely even bothered me.” Her voice wavered, and she almost lost her nerve. The door to her office beckoned. She could run before the words were said.

  Not that she ever would.

  “Sooo…” Derek prompted.

  “So antibiotics can weaken birth control pills and make them ineffective.” It came out as a whisper.

  Derek’s eyes widened, and his mouth opened and closed no less than four times. “Holy…uh…fuck. Are you…”

  She shook her head so hard the room wobbled. “Way too early to tell.”

  “Jesus, I’m not ready for that. I can’t even process it.” He scrubbed a hand over his bearded face. “This can’t be happening, Lyss. Not now. Not after all we’ve been through. What if…” He shook his head.

  Well, crap. Now her mind was spiraling out of control with a million unwelcome thoughts and worries. Derek was supposed to remain calm. He was supposed to hold her and tell her not to worry, that they’d get through it. They couldn’t both panic. He had to be calm, rational, steady. It was how they worked as a couple.

  She reached for his hand, but he pulled away, stood, and paced the floor of her office.

  Her rejected heart sank, but she didn’t say anything. She’d had a few days to obsess about this and wasn’t handling the idea of it well herself. It wasn’t fair to expect him to react any better.

  While she waited for him to right his mind, she picked up her food and shoveled a few bites into her mouth. Anything to pass the time.

  After about five solid minutes of watching him attempt to wear a hole through her office carpet, she couldn’t stand another second of the thick quiet. “Der? Hey, Derek? Can we talk about this?”

  The eyes that met hers were not the eyes of a satisfied husband who just had desk-rattling sex. They were the eyes of a tortured man fighting an enemy. The invisible kind. The kind that brewed in one’s own mind. The absolute worst kind of foe. She’d seen those eyes before. Years ago, when they’d first met, and Derek had struggled with PTSD. If only she could utilize some of the tools that helped him back then.

  The food in her mouth suddenly felt like paste and she swallowed the unappetizing lump. It might as well have been a jagged rock, the way it seemed to tear her insides as it traveled to her stomach. A stomach that threatened to reject everything she’d just consumed. Whatever he was about to say wasn’t going to be good. She could feel it in her bones.

  “Sometimes I wish you’d known me back when I was a SEAL,” he said.

  Her eyebrows drew down and she stuck the chopsticks in the carton before placing it on the desk. They never talked about his SEAL days. Not anymore. Where was he going with this? What was eating at him so bad that he’d revisit dark days? “I would have liked to have known you then.” She tilted her head. “Maybe I could have helped spare you some of the pain you went through.”

  It was something she’d thought about a lot when they first got together. Had they been introduced three, even two years prior, would she have been able to spare him some of the anguish and suffering he’d endured?

  He grunted. “No, you didn’t know me back then, but you sure got stuck cleaning up the mess, didn’t you?”

  “Baby,” she said, snagging his hand and pulling him back down to the couch. Then she threw her leg over his and settled on his lap, straddling him. Her hands framed his face and she tilted his head up to meet her gaze. “I never, not once, thought of it that way. Everyone has issues, and I never resented helping you through yours. I was honored to have the job.”

  His strong hands settled on her waist as a sad smile crossed his face. They felt good there. As though it hadn’t been so long since he held her like this. Since they had the simple intimacy of talking without any thought for personal space. “I know, baby. And that’s not even where I’m going with this.”

  “Okay, so why don’t you tell me why you brought it up?”

  He nodded. “As a SEAL, we worked in teams. And we trained…a lot. We were forever training. No matter how good we got, how strong we were, how fast. We could always be better, stronger, faster. So we trained. And we trained. And we trained. Every damn day.”

  She nodded and moved her hands to his chest. This was nothing new. He’d told her about his training. And she’d done her own research. Even watched a multi-episode documentary on BUDs training back when they first met, and she was eager to soak up any information she could have in her quest to understand him.

  “When it came time for a mission, we planned down to the very last detail. Then made backup plans. And contingencies for our back up plans. There was no problem too big. No obstacle we weren’t willing or able to tackle. But we always did it the smart way. With knowledge, skill, and planning.”

  He tightened his fingers on her waist and she remained silent. Whatever this was, he needed to get it out.

  “When we were certain we had every viable possibility accounted for, we went in as a team. And we were successful. Almost every time. Because we had to be. There were only two options. Success or failure. And failure meant death. Failure meant someone’s family didn’t get to see them again. Failure meant pain and loss. Failure was final. There were no do overs. I was in charge of my team. I was in charge of their success and protection. You know how seriously I took that and how fucked up I was over the few times we didn’t succeed.”

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