Rocking Out

by A. A. Albright

  I glanced at the Dark Team. At some point in the last few seconds, the rest of them had joined Tiffany and her pretend-father in using glamour spells. The entire team was unrecognisable. Now, why would they have gone and done a thing like that? Ah. The cogs in my mind were finally doing a rusty dance into place. Alpha had no idea who their management team really were. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so difficult to find a great big obvious distraction that would work, after all.

  ‘So what happens now?’ I called out to the band. ‘You’re just going to go off and turn, and leave us to our fate?’

  Quint and Frenton shrugged, while the rest of the guys looked a little uneasy.

  ‘It’s not like we want to,’ said Roy. ‘But like Frenton said, it is what it is. Our daddies wouldn’t stump up for our careers. They said we were talentless hacks and we should just give up and work in their banks. What choice did we have? Anyway, we’re about to turn now, so we’re going to go off into the garden and enjoy the moon. Have a nice life, lovely ladies – well, what’s left of it.’

  A door appeared suddenly, in the wall next to the stage. As Frenton and the band made their way towards it, Tiffany said, ‘Don’t even think of following. There’s an Insitu boundary spell on the whole property. There’s no way out. Now, come on – let’s all go and sit down. I want to tell you all about the commune where Frenton and I made love for the first time.’

  Yes, she really did say that. In fact, she kept on saying things like that. She spoke about the time she and Frenton sang a duet together in a field of lentils. She spoke about the man-bun he had at the time, and how much she’d loved the style. She spoke about how, if he wasn’t a stinking werewolf, she could almost see herself getting married to a guy like him.

  It was a strangely fascinating monologue, but unfortunately I couldn’t give it the attention it deserved. Because while Tiffany was talking, I was concentrating on Alpha, inwardly incanting at them while they made their way to the door.

  ‘Tonight you shall turn, with more strength than ever,

  But your wrath shall be focused on Dark Team betrayers.

  You shall listen to me and do as I say,

  No one but me, shall you obey.’

  Even as I set the spell, I knew it needed more than just words. This was the Dark Team, after all. I’d struggled to fight against them myself, only managing to send seven of them to prison so far. And even with the extra strength my spell would give them, Alpha wouldn’t fare much better.

  So I dug down into myself, drawing up a huge amount of power, and sending it towards the band. I couldn’t be sure if a transfer like this would work just because I willed it – but it was our only hope. Although … it couldn’t hurt to do a little something to help things along.

  ‘Hey, Frenton!’ I called, just as he was about to step outside. ‘Did you know that your so-called management team happens to be the Dark Team?’

  Frenton paused at the door. ‘I … what did you say?’

  Jackpot. ‘You heard me. You might remember that the Dark Team like to hunt werewolves? It was all over the news a few weeks back. The Wayfarers are still counting the buried bodies up at the Godbody estate. You know what I think you should do? I think you should teach the Dark Team a lesson they’ll never forget.’

  Frenton growled. The Dark Team, though, didn’t seem all that concerned.

  ‘Seriously guys,’ said Sven with a shrug. ‘What did you expect? You thought we were actually going to catapult you to stardom? Yeah, right. You were just pawns in our plan to get Wanda and her buddies here all along. But don’t worry about it. Go out and enjoy yourselves. Howl at the moon or pee on the grass or do whatever it is that werewolves do during full moon. You might as well. Seeing as tonight will be your last.’

  The rest of the band joined Frenton, each of them growling in a way that would have frightened me – if I hadn’t made sure they were under my control. Within a second, they had graduated from merely growling, and were now sprinting towards the Dark Team. And somewhere midway, all five of them ripped off their clothes and turned.

  The spell worked better than I could have hoped. All five members of Alpha were bigger than any werewolf I’d seen before. As they lunged at the Dark Team and knocked them to the ground, it was clear that they were far stronger, too – and seeing as your average werewolf wasn’t exactly a lightweight, that was saying something.

  The great big obvious distraction was in play. Taking our opportunity, Melissa, Finn and I ran into the function room.

  ‘The werewolves are all over them,’ gasped Finn. ‘What did you do?’

  ‘I just … made Alpha open to suggestion from me, and gave them a little extra oomph while I was at it.’

  ‘Yeah, I see that,’ said Finn. ‘But strong doesn’t get a werewolf very far against your average vamp or witch. And the Dark Team are very un-average hybrids. So how the hell are Alpha managing to gore them the way they are?’

  I glanced back into the dining room. Finn was right. Alpha weren’t just holding their own. They really were goring the Dark Team. ‘I sort of gave them a loaner,’ I admitted. ‘I sent some of my power into them, for a short time. I mean, we couldn’t use our power against the Dark Team, what with their protection spells. So I figured Alpha might as well borrow some of mine for a bit. And it seems to be working. Still …’ I wrinkled my nose as one of the wolves picked Sven up and threw him across the room. ‘ … I didn’t think it’d affect them that much.’

  ‘Yeah well, you never do listen when we tell you that you underestimate your power,’ said Melissa. ‘A little bit goes a long way. Anyway, I can see the control panel in my mind’s eye. I’m halfway through inputting the coordinates and …’ Melissa’s face paled.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ I asked, feeling a lead weight settle in my stomach. ‘What’s happened? Please tell me that’s your everything is going perfectly to plan face.’

  I knew it wasn’t, but a girl could hope. And a girl could stop hoping pretty sharpish, too – particularly when the red door was flying open and Tiffany was running towards us, bloody and bruised but extremely determined. ‘I happened, you morons. I clawed my way into the hallway to get away from Alpha, and when I did I saw the control panel lighting up.’

  ‘She smashed the panel,’ Melissa said miserably. ‘I saw her do it through my mind’s eye. That was our only way out of here.’

  ‘Yes.’ Tiffany smiled at us. ‘It was. So call off the werewolves. Or we kill them and you.’

  I eyed her carefully. Her smile was almost as smug as Sven’s, but there was a degree of nervousness behind her eyes. Sure, our plan had failed miserably. With the control panel smashed to pieces, we were trapped here. But we still had the upper hand. The werewolves would never harm us, because they really were under my control. But they would keep on harming the Dark Team until I told them to stop.

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘Alpha are mine now. I can use them to kill you all.’ I mean, okay, I didn’t actually want to kill the Dark Team. I’m not a bloodthirsty person. I would have much preferred seeing them go to trial and thrown into Witchfield for the rest of their lives. But you play the cards you’ve been dealt.

  I really thought I had her cornered. I’d won the battle of wits, I was sure of it. She would do the sensible thing and surrender. Wouldn’t she?

  Um, no.

  All of the fear had left Tiffany’s eyes, and there was nothing but smug satisfaction left behind. She pointed at Melissa, and before I could say a thing, Melissa’s body rose into the air, and she began to clutch at her neck, making choking noises.

  ‘Sure, Alpha are yours,’ said Tiffany. ‘But the rest of my team are too distracted to cotton on to what I’ve cottoned onto. I only have to stay alive long enough to send a death spell this one’s way.’ She pointed at Melissa. ‘And then … well, then you’ll lose a whole heap of your bravado.’

  Gosh darn it – how did she know that bravado was all I really had?

  I couldn’t bear to look at Melissa, clutchin
g at her neck with her legs dangling in the air. I could tell by the strain on her face that she was trying to fight back. But her eyes were bulging. She looked like she hadn’t got much more fight left to give. How was Tiffany winning this, though? I’d been on the receiving end of Melissa’s vampire powers, so I knew she was more than a match for Tiffany.

  ‘Oh, perhaps I should have mentioned,’ Tiffany drawled. ‘I’m not using my vampire half to do this. This is all witch. Pity none of you can break through my protections to counter my spell.’

  Finn threw his handbag to the floor and grunted. ‘That’s the problem with bloody hybrids,’ he muttered. ‘Melissa is more than equal to Tiffany on the psychic skills front. But we can’t fight her back when it comes to witch magic, Wanda. Not right now. The second you set Alpha on her, she’ll end Melissa’s life.’

  Melissa was shaking her head, and in my mind I could hear her speak. ‘Let her kill me,’ she said. ‘You still have the upper hand. You can send the werewolves after her once I’m gone. Let me go, Wanda. Getting rid of the Dark Team is more important than whether I live or die.’

  ‘No,’ I said out loud, wiping away tears. ‘It’s really not.’ Because it wasn’t. I loved Melissa with all my heart. If she wanted to be the sacrificial witch, she’d have to do it another day.

  I put my fingers to my lips, and whistled. ‘Alpha. To me.’

  There wasn’t even a moment’s hesitation. As soon as I ordered it, the wolves stopped their attack and came to heel. Any other day I might have taken a little bit of pleasure in the success of my spell. But this time? This time there wasn’t even an ounce of pride. The Dark Team had won. It was over.

  ‘Good,’ said Tiffany. ‘I thought you’d see sense.’

  Behind her, Sven and the others were standing up and coming our way. Every single one of them had a murderous glint in their eyes. I had the sinking feeling that they were about to make us pay for what I’d made Alpha do.

  Cat in a hat. Why did the bad guys always have to be so bad? Couldn’t they just be a little bit bad? Stealing sweets, that I could deal with. Even some good old drunk and disorderly. But all of this kidnapping, murder and the goddess knows what else – it was getting exhausting.

  I knew the Dark Team. I knew that, no matter what they promised, this wasn’t the end of things. If we let Gabriel and the rest of them out of Witchfield, they wouldn’t just go off into the sunset and become decent citizens. If they didn’t do something to me tonight, then they’d come after me someday soon. Whether it was because they were still obsessed with forcing me to marry Gabriel, or whether it was for some good old-fashioned revenge, they would come.

  This whole mess was going to go on, and on, and on …

  ‘I think we need to get in touch with your buddies again,’ said Sven. ‘Tell them that their time is up. We’re not going to wait until midnight. Who knows what tricks you’ll have come up with by then? We want the rest of our team out of Witchfield, and we want them out now.’

  He began to stalk back towards the dining room. But before he reached the threshold, he stumbled and fell to the floor.

  So did I. So did everyone. Because just then, the function room lurched, and a flash of light blinded us all.

  24. Function Rooms and Microwaves Have a Lot More in Common than You’d Think

  My eyes were blinking, sore from the light, and someone was bent down over me. I recoiled, until a voice said, ‘It’s me, Wanda. It’s Shane. It’s all over.’

  I gasped and opened my eyes, staring around. Christine was sitting a few feet away from me, her arm around Melissa, while Gretel was helping Finn to stand. My mother was slamming her way through the doors to the function room, her arms wide, with my father and Wolfie just a few steps behind her, and Dizzy flying by their side.

  Right in the centre of the floor, Sven and the gang were clustered together, bound with Wayfarer golden rope. There were other protections around them too – the barely visible haze of the Vampire-Proof Thingy (as it was actually called) was keeping them from using their vampire powers, while Wayfarers grabbed them and took them to the Wyrd Court.

  ‘Wanda!’ cried my mother as she fell to her knees and enveloped me in her arms. My father’s arms went around me next, while Wolfie jumped up and licked my face, and Dizzy flew in circles around us all, planting intermittent kisses on the top of my head. ‘You’re okay. You’re all okay.’

  I really was, although I still had no idea how. ‘How in Hecate’s name did someone get the Dark Team under control?’ I asked, my voice muffled behind the enormous group hug I was receiving.

  Above us, Shane laughed lightly and said, ‘Element of surprise, I guess.’

  Alpha were proving a little more difficult for the Wayfarers to round up, what with the extra power I’d given them. Just as one of the wolves began to spring for Gretel, I managed to squeeze one of my arms out of the group hug, then extended it towards Alpha and said, ‘Heel.’

  Alpha ran to me, their tongues out. They all sat around the perimeter of my family love-in, waiting for me to give them their next order. ‘Now, Alpha, I need you all to behave, okay?’ I said. ‘You’ve been very bad werewolves, and you need to spend a little bit of time thinking about what you did.’

  The wolves looked plaintively at me. ‘Don’t try to get around me with those big yellow eyes.’ I wagged a finger. ‘You’re accessories to murder, every one of you. But if you’re very good, and testify against the Dark Team, you might get to go and work in your daddies’ banks again some day.’

  All five wolves groaned, but they seemed to be fairly under control. ‘We should probably stand up now,’ I said to my parents. Reluctantly, they moved away and I grabbed Shane’s hand and let him help me up.

  ‘What happened?’ I asked Shane as I wiped myself off. Good goddess, that floor was filthy. My voice was muffled once again, seeing as my mother and father had enveloped me in another hug as soon as I was upright.

  Shane laughed. ‘I think you asked me what happened – and in that case, you should really ask Paul, because I have no idea how he made this miracle happen. And while you’re asking him that, I’m going to go and find someone very brave, and with a lot more magic than I have. Because there’s no way I’m taking Alpha into custody by myself.’

  I glanced at the werewolves. A pile of drool was forming on the floor beneath them. How sweet. ‘It’s probably best if I do that myself. But they’ll stay right by my side until I’m ready. Won’t you, boys?’

  The werewolves nodded.

  Seeing as I was still in Marion’s tall body, I didn’t even need to stand on my tiptoes to peer over my father’s shoulder. Paul was sitting on the stage beside Sixteen, dangling his feet while he shoved a slice of what looked like Stinking Warlock into his mouth.

  I made my way towards him – difficult, seeing as I had some permanent attachments in the shape of my parents, Dizzy and Wolfie. ‘That lurch and the flash of light,’ I said taking a seat on the stage next to Paul. ‘That was you, wasn’t it? It was just like the flash and the lurch that happened when we were taken to the Dark Team’s lair.’

  Before Paul could reply, the robot stood in front of me, looking me up and down.

  ‘Wanda Wayfair,’ said Sixteen. ‘You are unrecognisable, yet my sensors are picking up your magical signature beneath your outward appearance. Why are you in another’s body?’

  ‘Oh, y’know,’ I shrugged. ‘I just felt like being tall for a change.’

  Paul gave me a shy smile. ‘You look funny like that. You’re nearly as tall as my girlfriend right now. Anyway, the thing is, I did get to spend all that time with the microwaves they were using for teleportation before. So I kind of knew my way around the Dark Team’s tech. And when you guys were talking to Gretel on her phone, I could see this same function room in the background. So I figured they were identical rooms, each one of them a teleportation device, meant to send you from one function room to the other. Just like their microwaves. Except, y’know … a lot bigger.�
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  I shook my head in amazement. ‘So what are the management of Moony’s saying about it?’

  He pointed to the barman. I only got to see the sneer on his face for a split second before the Wayfarer holding him clicked his fingers and took him away. ‘He’s swearing he knew nothing about it, but his bank account shows a lot of money being transferred in from Alpha, just like with Murphy. Man, you’d almost think Alpha wanted themselves and all their connections to take the fall.’

  I glanced at the band. ‘I don’t think Alpha think too deeply about anything, to be honest. But they were set up to take the fall by the Dark Team. Those guys really hate werewolves for some reason. So … how did you manage to get us back?’

  Paul nodded his head towards the men’s toilets. ‘There’s an operational panel in there. Sixteen found it behind an empty towel dispenser. One of the Dark Team must have been in there, hiding while you were at the gig, because the coordinates were inputted from this side. Sixteen figured out a way we could reverse it – set it to receive as well as send and … hey presto. We brought you all back.’

  I looked at the robot and smiled. ‘Wow, Sixteen. It seems you’re even smarter than your maker. I owe you one.’

  ‘On the contrary, Wanda Wayfair. I am ever at your service. May I fetch you anything? Some apple tart? Some orange juice?’

  My stomach rumbled. Sure, he still looked far too much like Max, but I could really get to like this robot.

  I was just getting comfortable when I heard Finn shriek. I looked in his direction and saw him quickly becoming him again, Lisa’s small body rapidly growing and changing, bursting out of the tiny pink dress. Finn’s hands went straight to his manhood as the dress rode up, and he ran into the toilets.

  ‘I’ll be back for that apple tart in a second,’ I said, feeling my own body begin to change. As the buttons on my blouse began to pop, I stood up and rushed towards Melissa and her purse. ‘I think me and Finn need to change our clothes first.’