Misadventures of a Rookie

by Toni Aleo

  My lips quirked as I glanced back at where my mom was washing the dishes. “I’ll take him today, after the game maybe.”

  “It’s adorable.”

  “It’s all in his eyes, Mom.”

  “It isn’t.”

  “It is. He’s going to look like a girl sooner rather than later. I’ll take him, I don’t mind.”

  “I don’t care if you mind or not, Bo. His hair is fine,” she snapped, not looking at me.

  “But it isn’t,” I argued. “It’s annoyingly long. He’s too handsome to look like a girl.”

  “Well, it doesn’t matter because you aren’t here to see it anyway.”

  I looked back down at my plate, shaking my head. I didn’t want to fight with her. “You’re right.”

  “We can decide if he needs a haircut, Bo Jane. We are his parents.”

  “Never said you weren’t,” I said back before exhaling hard. Pushing my plate forward, I got up to take it to the sink. “I was just offering.”

  “Well, thank you, but we don’t need it. We’re doing just fine.”

  “I know, Mom. I never said you weren’t.”

  “You implied it.”

  “I didn’t, and if I did, I apolo—”

  “It’s over, let it go,” my dad hollered from his chair. “It doesn’t matter. And Rachel, you know darn well that boy needs a haircut.”

  “Taylor, he doesn’t.”

  He slammed the paper down, giving her a pointed look. “He does, and listen to me right now. I’m not doing this with you two. I will not stay in an argument for the next four days. Go get the boy’s hair cut, Bocephus. And Rachel, let it be. And you wonder why she doesn’t come home…or hell, why she left.”

  Mom glared as she stuck her hands to her hips. “And what does that mean?”

  “It means you start a fight over everything with her. Yesterday, it was the way she was wearing her hair. Today, it’s ’cause she offered to get Davis’s haircut. I don’t know if you have a thing with hair or if you’re annoyed she doesn’t want to be here, but either way, I don’t want to hear it.”

  I looked away, shaking my head ’cause my mom was about to blow. “Well, excuse me for causing you so much hell, Taylor! I happen to love my kids and want to not only see them but have the best for them.”

  “Then please, leave her alone. She’s home. Let’s enjoy her being home.” They stared at each other for a long time before he gave me a look. “Jeez, stop arguing with her.”

  “I’m sorry.” I then glanced over in my mom’s direction. “I wasn’t trying to fight with you.”

  She waved me off. “It’s fine.”

  I knew it wasn’t, though. She was pissed. Hell, she had been mad at me for the last six years. Since she couldn’t control me, or my fate, she was dead set on doing that for Davis. He would end up hating her for it, but maybe he would be smarter than I was.

  Silence stretched through the kitchen, and the sound of Davis moving through the house was the only noise as I sat there, playing on my phone, unsure what to say or do. I was ready to go to the game, and since it was obvious that my dad was pissed at my mom for being mad at me, there was no point in talking.

  It would end up an argument.

  When my phone rang and a picture of Gus and me on the back of his truck appeared, I smiled and answered, “Hey, you.”

  I felt my parents’ gazes on me as I left the kitchen and moved to the back deck where it was freezing, though I didn’t care. “I tried calling you when I landed.”

  His voice was low. “Yeah, sorry, I fell asleep. I was dead.”

  “Understandable. How’s your side?”

  “It’s a little tender, but I’m fine.”

  I wasn’t sure if he was lying or not. He was so pigheaded and wanted so desperately to play. Before I could ask him, though, he went on. “Then this morning I had an early flight.”

  My brows pulled together. “An early flight? For what? I thought you guys weren’t leaving until tonight for Florida?”

  “Actually, I’m not with the Suns today.”

  “Oh?” I asked, and for some reason my pulse picked up.

  “Babe, I got called up.”

  A billion different emotions hit me at once as I stood there looking out at the pond that Davis had been on the night before. I could imagine Gus out there, all small and cute, skating and dreaming up what he wanted to be when he got older. With my heart full, I gushed out, “Oh my God! No way!”

  “Yeah, I’m here in the Twin Cities.”

  “Gus! That’s awesome.” I was so happy for him. He wanted this, had worked so hard for this, but I couldn’t help thinking that this could mean the end of us. Swallowing hard, I asked, “Is it permanent?”

  “No, not now at least. One of the defensemen pulled something in his groin, so they chose me to replace him. But I saw him this morning, and he seemed fine. Pretty sure I’m going back to the Suns tomorrow.”

  Guilt flooded me within seconds when I realized how happy it made me that he would more than likely be back. “Well, that sucks,” I lied, and I covered my face in disgust. I wanted him to succeed, I wanted him to do great, so I shouldn’t be this happy.

  Though, I was.

  I didn’t want us to end yet.

  “Yeah, but it is what it is. I’ll go out, show them my best, and hopefully a spot for me will open.”

  “It will,” I decided. I just hoped I would be ready to lose him.

  ’Cause I would.

  The NHL would win over me.

  As it should.

  “I’m so proud of you.”

  I could hear the smile in his voice. “That’s what my mom said, but it means more from you for some reason.”

  Now I was grinning. “Well goodness, Gus, don’t you know how to make a girl blush.”

  He laughed. “Only you,” he said as his voice dropped a bit. “What are your plans tonight?”

  “Oh, well, I’m hanging with Davis. My mom and dad are going out tonight.”

  “Well, I wanted you to come to the game tonight. I got you two tickets. They’ll be at will call under your name. Will you come?”

  “Of course. Davis would love it.”

  “Great,” he said, his voice rising. “But there is something else.”

  “Okay…”

  “Remember how I asked if you would be good with meeting my parents?”

  “Yeah?”

  “They want to take us out to dinner after the game. Is that too late for Davis?”

  I didn’t even hesitate. “I’ll talk to my mom, but I’m sure it isn’t since it’s a Saturday night.”

  “Okay. Would you come?”

  I bit into my cheek. I wanted to say yes because I so desperately wanted to see him. I missed him, but maybe it wasn’t a good idea. If he was getting called up, that meant he would be getting a spot at any time on the Tornadoes. Which meant one thing.

  We’d be over.

  As I thought that, though, I could hear Gus in my head.

  Live in the now.

  “Yeah, let me make sure it’s good with my mom, and then I’ll text you.”

  “Sounds great. Hey.”

  “Hey?”

  “I miss you so fucking much.”

  My face broke into a grin as I toed the deck with my sneaker. “I miss you too.”

  “Good. I’ll see you tonight.”

  “Great,” I said softly as we said bye. Glancing at my phone, my stomach twisted with nervousness. I was setting myself up for failure. I just knew it, yet I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted to see him play on the ice that I grew up watching the greats play on. I wanted to see him succeed. The problem was, I doubted he wanted to stay with me through it all. He’d be a hotshot rookie. All the girls would want him. It was a given, so I really needed to pull back.

  Get control of this crazy, out-of-control thing that was our relationship.

  Exhaling hard, I walked back into the house just as Davis was running back out. My mom’s hands were at
her hips, and my dad was just shaking his head. “That boy is a trip.”

  “What?” I asked, and my mom glanced at me for just a moment before turning back to the sink.

  “He wants to score just for you.”

  “Aw, he’s such a doll.”

  “He is,” she said, her voice tight. “If you were home with him, you’d know that.”

  I bit into my lip just as my dad warned, “Rachel. Come on.”

  But I was over it. “Mom, why do you ask me to come home if you’re just going to give me shit the entire time?”

  She looked over her shoulder at me. “I’m not.”

  “Yes, you are! I’ve been here for almost a whole twenty-four hours, and you’ve done nothing but take little jabs at me. I’m sorry! I’m sorry I wasn’t the daughter you raised. That I made a mistake, but hell, let it go! It’s been almost six years!”

  “You walked out on us!”

  “I didn’t, though! We decided on this, together, as a family. You told me I was making the right decision! I did it, and now you’re torturing me for it.”

  “You aren’t here for him.”

  “Because you took that right from me! I’m his sister! Remember!” I yelled, shaking my head, tears burning my eyes.

  “Yeah, because you couldn’t handle being a mother,” she snapped, and I glared back at her as a silence stretched between us.

  “You’re right. I was nowhere near ready; you told me that daily from the moment I came home pregnant. Then I was brokenhearted. I was clinically depressed for the whole nine months I was pregnant, Mom. Who would want that kind of person as a mother? Remember how you told me that? I wanted to give him up to a good family, but you insisted that you and Dad take him. You did this. You made the decision that I wasn’t good enough for him. Stop throwing that in my face. I have enough guilt as it is.”

  My dad looked away, and my mom just shook her head. “I want you to be more involved in his life.”

  “I am, Mom, as his sister who is seventeen years older than he is. I’m not his mom; you are. I am so sorry that I’ve disappointed you. That I’m not what you wanted, but thank God you have him. He’ll be everything you wanted me to be. I believe that, but every time you throw my past in my face, you’re not only hurting me, you’re pushing me away. So I suggest you stop.” Turning my back to her, I went to leave the room, but before I stepped out, I turned and said, “I’m taking him to the Tornadoes game tonight and then going out to dinner after. We’ll be home late.”

  “Why don’t you go before?” she asked.

  I shook my head. “Because my boyfriend, who is playing tonight for the Tornadoes, wants to take us out afterward.”

  Dad turned, looking at me, as my mom’s jaw dropped. “A boyfriend? Do you think that’s a good idea? Don’t you remember the last time you got involved with a hock—”

  “I mean, I’m almost twenty-two, and contrary to your beliefs, Mom, I did learn from my mistakes. Gus isn’t Jesse. He’s a good dude, and we’re having fun.”

  “Well, does he know about Davis?” she asked, her eyes wild with anger.

  “As my brother, yes. Gus doesn’t need to know anything more,” I said simply. “Just the way we decided that Davis would never know.”

  When neither of them commented or even looked at me, I walked out of the room, nothing more than a damn disappointment to both of them. I hated how this played out. I wanted to be the daughter they used to love, but with how everything had gone down, I would never be. I would forever be the one who couldn’t handle anything because of some guy.

  Some rookie who broke my heart.

  And now I was dating another.

  But Gus wasn’t Jesse.

  He wasn’t.

  God, I hoped he wasn’t.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Gus

  In one hand I held the first NHL puck that I had scored with.

  In the other was Bo’s hand.

  It was easy to say, I was one happy guy.

  The game was unbelievable. It was such a rush, wearing a Tornadoes jersey with my name and number on the back. Looking up in the stands and seeing not only my mom and dad but Bo too was downright indescribable. I couldn’t believe it, but it was true, and I’d had no choice but to ignore the pain in my side and play my game.

  And I wasn’t one to point out when I played great—well, who was I kidding? I was, and I did fucking awesome.

  Was I hurting now? Hell yes, but I was masking it pretty well as Bo’s little brother, Davis, talked my ear off.

  “What did it feel like?”

  I beamed over at him. He was like a mini Bo. Those St. James genes must be pretty strong. “I don’t even know. It just felt right.”

  “It was so cool seeing you out there! I wanna be you,” he gushed, and Bo beamed over him, messing up his hair.

  “You’ll get there if you work hard,” she said simply, kissing his temple, and he nodded up to her, the love of a thousand worlds in his eyes.

  “You know, Gus used to wake up at five, hit the ice for two hours, and then go to school,” Dad said before beaming over at me. “I’d watch him and think, this kid is going somewhere.”

  When my mom started to cry again, I rolled my eyes. “It was one game, guys. Relax.”

  “It’s a big deal. We’re all so proud of you,” Bo said beside me, leaning into me. “It’s a huge achievement.”

  “It is,” Mom agreed, reaching over and squeezing the hand that held my puck.

  I should probably let it go and hold my mom’s hand, but I almost couldn’t believe it was mine. It was such a beautiful goal.

  We were up by three and killing the Hurricanes. It was awesome. I was playing hard, but I really wanted a goal. I wanted to leave my mark. With ten minutes left in the second, there was a breakaway, and I rushed with Zordekiyi, hoping to give him some room to score. What surprised me, though, was that no one guarded me. They went after him, so he passed the puck to me and I went five hole right through the goalie’s legs, scoring number four for the team.

  It was fucking amazing.

  The crowd.

  The lights.

  The goal song.

  Everything. It was just insane.

  I still had goose bumps just thinking about it. I wanted to go back. I wanted to play on the ice for the rest of my life, but I wasn’t sure about my future. I’d find out more in the morning, and that did nothing but give me anxiety.

  “I remember when you asked for hockey stuff.” Mom started to blubber, and I scoffed, leaning into Bo. “I was so proud.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t realize she’d be this emotional.”

  “Oh, shut it,” Mom yelled at me as she looked at Bo. “He was so little back then. So adorable. He was a figure skater for a good couple years until he decided he didn’t like the tight pants.”

  Bo smiled sweetly beside me. When she first got to the restaurant, I thought something was wrong. She seemed a little upset, but once she met my mom, she lit up. Or maybe it was my mom who lit up and Bo was feeding off her. I’m unsure, but I wanted to know. Maybe I could get her to come back to the hotel with me. That would be fun. We hadn’t had hotel sex yet.

  Leaning into her, I was going to whisper that in her ear, but her kid brother peered over at me. “Dude, tight pants?”

  He was a funny kid. I hadn’t really gotten to hang with him, but I liked him so far. It was obvious Bo loved him. That was a given. With a grin, I pointed my fork to my mom. “Hey, she made me, but don’t worry, I found my calling.”

  “That’s so cool,” Davis gushed, and I smiled as my mom placed her beer down, taking over the conversation.

  “And boy, did he. He worked so hard to catch up with the other boys. Even when we were getting back together, he still worked even though it was an emotional time, huh, Nate?”

  Dad nodded as he held my gaze, such pride in his eyes. “He has a work ethic that can’t be denied. He gets that from you, Lauren.”

  She beamed at that. “You
’re right, he does.”

  “I get it from both of you.” I glanced up from my food to my mom. “It was a team effort. I wasn’t easy.”

  “He sure wasn’t,” she laughed as her gaze fell to Bo’s. “He drove me absolutely wild, I swear it, but I’m just so damn proud,” she cried, and my dad leaned over, kissing her temple, and when I glanced at Bo, she was just watching them with a look I didn’t understand on her face. Almost like longing. “Bo, did you know he skipped the draft so that he could go to college and get a degree? Because he didn’t want to ever be without an education? I mean, how’d I get so lucky?”

  “You made him who he is. You did this,” Bo said then, and I couldn’t stop looking at her. She was so beautiful. “I mean, like he said, it’s a team effort, and not many parents can be this proud of their child that they had a hand in every step of the way.”

  “That’s the darn truth,” my mom gushed, this time tapping Bo’s hand.

  A grin pulled at my lips as I watched her help Davis with his cup before looking over at my mom. “How did you do it?”

  My mom looked up, wiping her eyes, a little confused, as was I. “What do you mean?” Mom asked, still drying her eyes.

  “Sorry, I don’t mean to pry, but Gus told me the back story, and I’m so intrigued by it. How did you raise him at such a young age, and so well? I mean, everything you’ve said, how he has such wonderful work ethic and how he went to school before just going in. Like, players don’t do that. So how? I’m just so blown away by that. By you, I mean.”

  A silence fell over the table—well, except for Davis, who was playing with his peas, not paying a bit of attention to anyone. Some would think Bo was sucking up to my mom, but she wasn’t. I could see it in her eyes. She was genuinely intrigued by my mom. But then, everyone should be. She did the impossible. I could have become a shit kid, but she didn’t let me. She stood beside me, and she loved me enough for two people until my dad came along.

  In my opinion, she was the best mom ever.

  Mom cleared her throat as she shrugged. “I don’t know, hun. I just did. I didn’t have any choice. I had no support, no one wanting to be there for me—”