Daisy's Christmas Gift Shop

by Hannah Pearl

  ‘Help yourself,’ I told her, and she squealed and threw her arms around Taylor’s enormous neck. I watched for a minute to make sure that she could actually reach the whole way around, before staring at my brother again. No one had reacted to the information about me and Eli hooking up, and I realised that no one else must have been very surprised to hear it. Cody must have been wondering what on earth she had walked in to. Dad sat and calmly topped up both of their glasses with more wine.

  ‘You can’t trust Erin,’ I said, turning again to speak to my brother.

  ‘I know she loves me,’ Ben said.

  ‘I do,’ Erin added.

  ‘Shut up!’ Eli and I shouted at her.

  ‘There’s no need to be rude,’ Dad said, jumping to his feet. ‘Cody, if you don’t mind, I’d quite enjoy a tour of your gallery.’ He turned to speak to the rest of us. ‘When I get back, I want the full story of what was going on here while I was away.’

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Dad led Cody downstairs, and we all waited until the front door closed before we really let rip. ‘What on earth were you thinking?’ I asked Ben. ‘She’s criminally insane. How the hell could you think you were going to marry her?’

  ‘There was a jeweller next to this arcade when we were away. I had a big win on one of the machines, and when I went out to treat myself to a bag of chips, I walked past and saw this diamond ring.’ He reached into his pocket and I groaned as he pulled out a small burgundy leather box. ‘Dad is going to go mad when I tell him what happened,’ I warned him.

  He ignored me and got down on one knee. ‘Erin,’ he said, ‘I don’t always understand people, but I understand you and you understand me. Please will you do me the honour of marrying me? I promise that I will always love you.’ He opened the lid, where a thin gold band held diamonds which glistened and danced in the light. ‘Just please promise me that you’ll never drug me again. And that you’ll always do the washing up when you say you will.’

  I got up and headed for the ouzo. ‘And there was me thinking that you liked romance,’ Eli scoffed as he watched me pour and down another shot.

  ‘Don’t tell me that you’re happy about this?’ I asked him.

  He turned to Ben. ‘Your sister is right. What are you thinking, mate? She had you doped up and locked in a cabin.’ Ben stood up and hung his head.

  ‘It wasn’t locked from the inside,’ Erin whispered. At least she had the common sense not to answer his proposal. I guess she knew that if she had said yes right then she’d have been in trouble.

  ‘It didn’t need to be,’ I roared at her. ‘He was unconscious.’

  ‘Ben, be serious,’ Eli implored. ‘You can’t marry Erin. What is she going to do, lock you up in your bedroom every time you do something wrong?’

  ‘I was trying to give him a break from you,’ Erin said, just her head poking out from behind my brother. He reached behind him and guided her to his side. ‘He was so upset when he called me that night. He said you were yelling at each other. I had to drive over and pick him up. He didn’t calm down until we were half-way to that tiny cottage, though that could have been because he’d taken a travel sickness tablet by then and fallen asleep. And he took that one himself, before you ask.’

  ‘Which is where you got the idea?’

  ‘We were so close to the port, I just wanted to give him some space to think. We had the car, I thought, why not?’

  ‘Because you never asked him if he actually wanted to go,’ I pointed out.

  ‘Her car, which she had to pay hundreds of pounds to have towed home again from the port,’ Ben pointed out, as if I hadn’t spoken.

  ‘Don’t even think about asking me to pay towards that,’ I spat. ‘You’ve caused enough trouble already.’

  ‘You didn’t have to come looking for me,’ Ben shouted, slamming his hands against the table, but given his slight size it didn’t make much of an impact.

  ‘Did you expect us to just leave you? To have no idea where you were? We spent days worrying and searching.’

  ‘Yeah, I bet you were so worried that you didn’t fall into bed with Eli again the first chance you got?’ I blushed as he spoke and he turned to Erin. ‘Looks like you were right about that.’ He turned back to me. ‘So now that you can’t manage your own love life, you decide that you need to rule mine? You might think that you’re the queen of romance, but let me tell you something. You’ve fallen in love with someone who won’t commit to you. At least Erin and I feel the same way about each other.’

  I wanted to tell him that he was wrong about Eli, but I couldn’t. There was a strong possibility that he was correct. But Ben wasn’t finished. He turned to Eli and continued with his speech. ‘You’re supposed to be my best friend. You think that you’re so great with people, but you couldn’t see that I’d fallen in love. You insisted on dragging me round that wedding to look at all these skeezy women, when the one I loved was left alone watching us. Why do you think she faked the computer problems at work? She was trying to rescue me.’

  ‘I didn’t know,’ Eli said.

  ‘And you didn’t stop to notice or listen when I tried to tell you. You dragged me on holiday when I wanted to be with my girlfriend, just because you’d got yourself exhausted and needed a break. Then, when I get a tattoo to remind me of Erin, you both treat me like I’m a little kid who didn’t know what he was doing.’

  I began to realise that Ben had grown up more than I’d given him credit for. Apart from the whole wanting to get engaged to his kidnapper thing. But he was on the money about Eli, which didn’t bode well for hoping that Eli had any feelings for me above and beyond the physical.

  ‘And you,’ Ben said, turning to me, just in case the damage to my ego hadn’t already been done. ‘You don’t need to panic every time I leave the house without you. If you understood the projects I organise at work, you’d see how much other people trust me.’

  I swallowed, unsure how to respond because he was correct. I’d got so used to having to be the person who looked out for him as Dad had got increasingly distant, I’d never given Ben the space to grow himself. ‘I’m sorry,’ I told him. ‘I’m glad that you’ve met someone, but can you understand why I’m worried about you being with Erin after what happened?’

  He nodded. ‘And we’ve talked about it. Erin is going to have some counselling, and then after that, if Erin says yes, we’re going to get married.’ He turned to Erin and she nodded at him. I guess that was her way of accepting his proposal without saying anything in case we jumped on her again. ‘I hope that you can be happy for me. At least I’ve found someone who is emotionally available.’

  ‘What is that supposed to mean?’ Eli asked him. ‘You’re the one who told me that I wasn’t allowed anywhere near your sister.’

  ‘We were sixteen,’ Ben told him. ‘She had been mooning over you for months, you slept with her without thinking about how she would feel afterwards. You can’t blame me for telling you to be careful with her. Daisy always wanted to fall in love like my mum and dad did. Were you ready for that back then?’

  I wasn’t even sure that Eli was ready to fall in love now. And I wasn’t sure how much I liked that Ben was making it obvious how I felt about him before I’d had chance to talk to him myself.

  ‘I didn’t say that I was in love with him,’ I pointed out.

  ‘But you are. Even I can see it. And how many other long-term relationships have you had in your life?’ Ben asked.

  ‘A few,’ I responded.

  ‘That weren’t because you lived miles from each other, or knew that he’d be moving away to university and wouldn’t be wanting you to commit, leaving you free in case Eli ever changed his mind? In case you were wondering, he isn’t going to change his mind. Eli thinks he’s so mature, but I don’t think he’ll ever be brave enough to risk falling in love. He’s too scared of losing you and being on his own again.’

  When Eli slammed his own fists on the table, the noise was deafening. Ben jum
ped, Erin hid and even Taylor stepped back a pace, drawing Lily against him in case she was nervous. Lily was the only person who didn’t look scared. I asked her to explain why she seemed okay when no one else was.

  ‘You need to hear this,’ she told me, ‘even if it hurts. Hell, maybe especially if it hurts. You need to know whether you have to finally move on. You must be the only person who runs a romance shop who is perpetually single. I know how much you want to be in a relationship. Maybe it’s time you found out whether that can ever happen with Eli.’

  We all turned to face Eli. His eyes flashed with anger. This didn’t bode well for him declaring long hidden feelings towards me.

  ‘This looks serious,’ Dad said, walking back into the kitchen. Eli turned and left the room. Dad called out after him. ‘Don’t forget our Christmas lunch tomorrow. Cody is coming too.’ He looked at Lily and Taylor. ‘The more the merrier, I guess.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Lily said, planting a quick kiss on his cheek. ‘We’ll see you tomorrow.’ She and Taylor left too, and Dad looked at Ben and I.

  ‘You’d better sit down and tell me everything.’

  Chapter Thirty Four

  Christmas morning dawned clear, crisp and cold. I pulled the duvet around myself and tried to go back to sleep but without success. Dad had been shocked to hear about Ben’s adventures, though I think that he was relieved to hear that Eli and I had tried so hard to find him and make up for fighting.

  He’d been angry at Erin for how she had treated Ben, but had shown more grace than Eli and I had for listening to her reasons. He understood better how Ben being dragged around to look at other women had hurt her feelings and that Ben had grown angry with Eli and me for not seeing how much he was capable of by himself. He had stopped short of welcoming their engagement but had promised to consider giving his blessing once Erin had undertaken some therapy.

  For his part, Ben had apologised for running away and refusing to answer his phone to let us know that he was okay. In his defence, he had thought that Erin had told us. Erin had stayed long enough to try to explain. She’d wanted some time for Ben and her away from what she saw as Eli and my overbearing influence over him. That stung because I could see the truth in it. When they had turned to me, I had burst into tears and run down to my flat. Dad had followed and hugged me until I stopped crying, but then he had given me space to think and not pressed me for any further explanations yet. Which was lucky as I had none to give.

  I took a shower, using my most expensive lotions and creams but even the heavenly scents failed to lift my moods. Looking in the mirror didn’t help. I could see how bloodshot my eyes were from crying. I brushed my hair out and applied a bright lipstick to try and distract from it, but I kept remembering Ben’s words about Eli’s inability to love me as I loved him and crying all over again.

  Choosing a halter-neck dress from my wardrobe, I slipped it over my head. The fabric was black which suited my mood, but it had a delicate pattern of blossom which I hoped would allow everyone else to see it as a little more festive than I really felt. In deference to the frost on the windows, I slipped a pair of sheer tights over my legs. Opening my jewellery box, I sorted through earrings until I found a pair of pearl studs that had belonged to my mum. I rarely wore them for fear of upsetting my dad, but he had seemed stronger the day before than I ever remembered seeing him, and I needed to feel close to her.

  Moving the lamp from the box next to my bed, I lifted the lid and began to unpack my stash of presents. I had a selection of suitably rude T-shirts for Ben. There was a set of silk underwear for Lily. They were black, and whilst Lily would doubtless complain that they covered too much skin, I knew that she would look stunning in them. I took out my pen and wrote Taylor’s name next to hers on the gift label as I was sure that he would be getting the benefit of them too.

  For Cody, I had wrapped one of the silk scarves that she had admired, as well as a bar of my favourite lavender-scented soap for relaxation. I’d originally planned to give Dad a pair of the leather slippers that I stocked, as his old pair were getting worn out and tatty, but as I looked at them I realised that this wouldn’t suit his new, more positive demeanour. As a shop owner who prided herself on going the extra mile to find special gifts, I couldn’t bring myself to give him such a meaningless present now. Pulling over my laptop, I began to search for a replacement gift.

  I’d just found what I needed and printed out his enrolment at a local college for an evening class of Italian cookery lessons, when my doorbell rang. Expecting it to be Lily, I didn’t look out of the window before I opened it. Eli was stood there, holding out a package. It was the size of a shoe box, bright red and tied with a green ribbon.

  ‘Can I come in?’ he asked. I stepped back and let him walk past me, hoping that he wouldn’t notice how red my eyes were. He did, of course. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I never meant to hurt you Daisy.’

  ‘It wasn’t your fault,’ I told him, letting him in on the realisation that I had come to in the middle of the night. ‘It wasn’t your fault that I cared about you. It’s not your responsibility to protect my heart.’

  ‘Even if it’s me that’s putting it at risk?’ he asked. He swept a lock of my hair between his fingers. I stepped back, bumping into the counter. Turning away, I headed for my kitchen.

  ‘Did you want a coffee?’ I asked him. He accepted, and I busied myself fixing us drinks. When I carried the mugs out he was stood, staring at the items under the glass in my counter.

  ‘You don’t just sell memories, do you?’ he asked.

  ‘No,’ I told him, waiting to see where he was going with his thought processes.

  ‘You offer a celebration of lifetimes spent together. These items are thank yous for years of love and caring.’ He picked up a small cut-glass rose that laid on my shelf. I’d been thinking of putting it away for Arthur in case he wanted it for his wife’s next birthday. ‘This might be a promise of love still to be shared in the future.’ Eli set the flower down and picked up a small bud vase. ‘This might hold the first flower a girl was ever given, or one from her wedding bouquet. Flowers bought as a symbol of a meaningful bond between two people, not as an after-thought or an apology.’

  I waited until he had finished looking around. ‘Ben was right,’ he said, and I could feel my heart beginning to break as he spoke. ‘I didn’t think that I could ever love anyone as you wanted to be loved. Even ten years ago, the first time I ever held you and kissed you, I could feel how badly you needed to be loved, and as much as it excited me, it scared me too. When Ben told me that I shouldn’t go near you, I took it as a get out clause. He was my best friend and I couldn’t risk losing him.’

  I sipped my drink and tried to hide behind the mug so that he couldn’t see the hurt on my face.

  ‘Then my mum died.’ Eli’s voice broke, and I could see his eyes fill with tears. I placed my mug on the counter and took him into my arms. Even if he couldn’t love me the way that I loved him, I couldn’t leave him to grieve alone. ‘I was scared that if I loved someone as much as I had loved her, it would kill me to lose them.’

  ‘I understand that,’ I told him. ‘Losing my mum nearly killed my dad too. It’s taken him years to begin to deal with it. I have to thank you for helping him.’

  ‘And what about you?’ he asked.

  ‘I’ll live,’ I told him. ‘You don’t need to worry about me. It’s not your fault that I fell for you.’

  ‘But I wanted you to,’ he told me. ‘I told Ben that we ought to invite you to the wedding. Then when Taylor started to flirt with you, I nearly cracked up with jealousy.’

  ‘You never told me.’

  ‘I didn’t think Ben would approve,’ Eli said. ‘Plus he was right, I didn’t think I could love you as you deserved to be loved.’

  I began to cry, and it wasn’t pretty. I’d cried so much the night before that instead of just weeping a few delicate tears, I passed straight to great heaving sobs.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ E
li said again. ‘I really never meant to hurt you.’ He handed me the box he was carrying and turned to leave.

  ‘Wait,’ I told him, and went to pick up the small box that sat on my bed. Eli followed me in, sitting next to me on my bed to open the parcel that I handed him. Tearing off the tissue paper, he lifted out a series of small photograph frames. The first was a picture of him, Ben and me. We were maybe seven or eight. His mum had taken the three of us to the National History Museum, and we had posed for a photograph in front of the huge dinosaur skeleton in the entrance hall. It showed how long he had been in my life, and how much a part of our family he was. The second photo was of him and his mum. I’d taken it just before we had found out that she was ill. She’d been so full of life and energy in the picture, laughing as if she’d just been told a joke. Next to her, Eli had stood tall and handsome, a hint of the man that he would soon become. He looked happy and proud of himself.

  There was a small black velvet box which made him roar with laughter when he opened it. ‘James Bond cufflinks,’ he said, lifting them out. ‘What do you think of me?’

  ‘I thought Ben had made my feelings public,’ I muttered, not looking up to meet his eyes.

  He gestured at the box he had handed me. I opened the lid and pulled out a CD. ‘What’s this?’ I asked him, reading the title on the side.

  ‘It was playing on the radio the day you brought me down here. Do you remember? The room was still cluttered with your dad and grandad’s old baking equipment. You hadn’t even moved your bedroom down here yet. There was just a mattress in the back room, and a radio that your dad used to have in the kitchen. You put it on, this song was playing, and you made me lie down while you shut the door.’