Reckless Whisper KO PL B

by Barbara Freethy

  She knew from Nathan that Mark and Lindsay had not told Hayley that she was adopted yet. They felt it was too soon after the kidnapping, and they were following Hayley's therapist's advice to let things be for a while. They were, however, very much open to sharing Hayley's life with Bree and welcoming her into the house as a friend, if that worked for her.

  "Am I doing the right thing?" she asked Nathan.

  "If it's what you want, then you're doing the right thing."

  She frowned. "That's not exactly the reassurance I was looking for."

  "I think it would be great for Hayley to have you in her life, in whatever capacity you and her parents are willing to accept. I just don't know what it's going to do to you to be with her and not be able to tell her you're her birth mother. I don’t want to see you sad or hurting. If this is going to be too difficult, we'll just drop that present on the porch," he said, motioning to the brightly-wrapped gift in her hand. "And head to the airport."

  "It is going to be hard, but I want to do it. And you know what makes it a little easier?"

  "What's that?"

  "It's not Hayley's real birthday. That won't be for five days."

  "That's right. The birth certificate was altered. Someone is going to have to fix that some time."

  "Some time, but not now. Not while Hayley is still fragile."

  "She's doing good. I've seen her once or twice. She's bouncing back. It will take time, but I think she'll be able to put all this behind her."

  "I'm sure she's confused about what it was all about. Stix talked about her being my daughter when we were on the stage, but she was crying so loudly, I didn't know if she heard or not. I hoped she hadn't."

  "She doesn't appear to have said anything about that."

  "That's good."

  He took her hand. "Let's go."

  The front door was open, so they walked inside. The living room hallway, living room, and dining room were decorated with streamers and filled with kids and adults. A buffet had been spread out on the dining room table. A huge vanilla-iced birthday cake decorated with pink and purple bunnies sat on a side table. It was sure to be a hit with all the kids.

  She searched the crowd for Hayley and felt a rush of love and happiness when her little girl came running down the hall. Hayley wore a pretty blue dress, her long brown hair flowing out behind her, her brown eyes glittering with happiness.

  "You came," Hayley said with delight, as she held out her arms.

  Bree swept her into a hug, so happy at Hayley's reaction. There was no shyness, no restraint, no lingering fear or sadness. When she let her go, she said, "Happy Birthday."

  "I'm so glad you're here," Hayley said, hanging on to Bree's hand. "I want you to meet my parents and my friends and see my room."

  "I want to do all of that," she said with a laugh.

  "Come upstairs first," Hayley said.

  She glanced back at Nathan. He gave her a smile and a nod of encouragement. "Go. I'll be right here. And take your time."

  She would definitely take all the time that she was given, and she would cherish every second.

  * * *

  "That goofy smile on your face must mean that Bree is somewhere nearby," Josie said, giving Nathan a nudge in the ribs with her elbow.

  "She went upstairs with Hayley to see her room."

  "Hayley is thrilled that Bree said she'd come to her party. She's been talking on and on about Bree to Grace. She's almost as taken with Bree as you are."

  He grinned. "Bree is very loveable."

  "Oh, I know. I always liked her. I just didn't always like the way she treated you."

  "All that is in the past, Josie."

  "I still don't know everything that happened."

  "And you don't need to know," he said quickly. While he felt slightly guilty that he hadn't told Josie that Bree was Hayley's mother, he had to respect Bree's decision to keep the secret until the Jansens decided the truth should come out. "All that's important is what's coming next. I hope you and Grace and Kyle will consider doing Christmas in California this year. We'd like to host."

  "Let's see…sunny, seventy-degree days in Santa Monica, or wind chill of minus eight in Chicago? It's a tough call. Yes, of course, we'll be there. I'm going to book tickets next week. And Kyle is going to make sure he gets the time off. After everything that happened with Hayley, I think he has started to realize the importance of spending time with your family when you can."

  "I'm glad."

  "And I'm glad you're with Bree. She's the love of your life. She always has been."

  "Yes, she has," he admitted.

  "While I'll miss you, I think starting over in California is going to be good for you. And you won't have to worry about snow; you can build houses all year round."

  "I'm looking forward to the change. But I'm going to miss you and Grace—and Kyle," he added belatedly.

  She laughed at that. "I know you and Kyle don't see eye-to-eye, but I love you both."

  "I'm still going to keep my eye on you," he promised.

  "I have no doubt." Her gaze turned serious. "But to be honest, Nathan, I have let you consider me your responsibility for far too long. I needed you when I was a kid. You got me through life. You saved me more than once. But I'm okay now. I probably should have said that a long time ago. I'm doing good, and I'm not in danger of going backward. I've got my life together. I'm not interested in drugs or alcohol or any of the vices I got swept up into. You don't have to worry about me anymore. Just be happy. It's your turn." She gave him a hug and blinked away some tears. "This sucks. I really hate good-byes."

  "It's not good-bye. We're going to see each other at Christmas."

  "I know. It won't be same, but it will be fine. And maybe one day you can give Grace a cousin."

  "You're getting a little ahead of yourself."

  "As if you haven't thought about having a little girl who looks just like Bree," she teased. "But a son would be good, too. I know Bree has a career, but maybe one day."

  "Definitely one day," he promised.

  * * *

  Bree smiled as she sat on the end of Hayley's bed and watched her daughter name off every one of the stuffed animals in her collection.

  She'd never been able to hang on to her toys as a child. And she'd stopped naming anything, because as soon as she did, it was almost guaranteed to disappear. But Hayley didn't live with that uncertainty. And even though she'd been through a horrible ordeal, she seemed to now trust again in the safety of her life.

  She was so glad to see that. She hated to think that her child would be forever scarred by someone wanting revenge on her and Johnny.

  "Mommy got me a new bunny," Hayley said, taking a very white, very fluffy bunny from the center of her bed. "I left the other one at the house by the lake. But I like this one better."

  "I love all your animals and your room. It's so pretty. I wish I would have had a room like this when I was growing up."

  "Sometimes I get scared in the dark," Hayley said suddenly, her gaze turning serious. "Sometimes, Mommy sleeps with me. I think she gets scared, too."

  "I understand. But you don't have to be afraid anymore. You're safe now."

  "I wish you could stay here. Mommy says you don't live in Chicago."

  "No, I don't," she said, a lump growing in her throat. "But I'll come and visit you whenever I can. And you can write me if you want."

  "Will you write me back? I like to get email. I like to get real letters, too. Which do you like?"

  "I like them both. And I will definitely write you back. I will always be available if you need me, Hayley. You can write me or call me. I'll make sure you always have my phone number."

  "Mommy says you're like my guardian angel."

  "I like the sound of that," she said with a smile. "Too bad I don't have any wings."

  Hayley giggled. "Then you could fly."

  "That would be fun." She looked up as Lindsay came into the room with a tentative expression on her face.<
br />
  "I hope I'm not interrupting," Lindsay said. "It's time to open your presents, Hayley."

  "Yay!" Hayley clapped her hands with delight.

  "Why don't you go downstairs and help Grandma put them in a pile for you?" Lindsay suggested. "Bree and I will be right down."

  "Okay."

  As Hayley ran from the room, Bree got to her feet. "I appreciate you inviting me."

  "Hayley really wanted you to come. She's been talking about you nonstop since you left." She paused. "I wanted you to come, too. I never had a chance to really say thank you."

  "You wrote me a nice note."

  "It didn't begin to express what I was feeling. You saved Hayley's life. Nathan told me what you did—how you shielded her body with your own. You risked your life. So did Nathan. And Mark and I are forever grateful."

  "I'm just sorry Hayley was ever in danger and that it was because of me."

  "It was because of a crazy person. You told me not to blame myself for Hayley's abduction. I have to return the favor. It's not your fault what happened. And having learned a bit about Hayley's biological father, I can understand why you felt the need to give up your child and disappear. I worry a little still that someone in his family might try to claim her, but as the weeks pass, I feel a bit more secure that that won't happen."

  "I don't think you have to worry about it. The Hawkes are busy fighting over who is going to take over for Johnny. Their world is far from here. And Hayley isn't a part of it."

  "I'm glad about that."

  "Johnny did take a bullet for Hayley," Bree couldn’t help pointing out. "I won't try to tell you he was a good person, because he obviously was not, but when I knew him as a young man, he wasn't nearly as evil or as cold as he grew up to be. In the end, he died for his child, and that's something. I hope that when Hayley is older, when she wants or needs more information, she can take that one piece of him and hold it close." She took a breath. "I never knew who my father was. I'd like to think he would have taken a bullet for me, but probably not."

  "You had a very rough life, didn't you? Nathan has told us a little about your past. I didn't realize he'd had such difficult life, either."

  "Well, all that seems like a long time ago now."

  "You're an amazing person, Bree. I feel a little guilty that Hayley doesn't know who you really are to her, but I can tell you that she already loves you."

  "I love her, too. She said that I could be her guardian angel, and I think I would like that."

  "Really?" Lindsay asked uncertainly. "You're still okay with us waiting to tell her the truth?"

  "I trust you and Mark. You have been magnificent parents to my daughter. I want Hayley to know when you want her to know, when it's the right time." She fought her way through a sudden rush of tears, wanting to say what she needed to say. "I wanted Hayley to have a great mother, someone she could always count on, and you are that person, Lindsay. I didn't have a mom like you when I was growing up, and it's a gift, a very special gift."

  Lindsay dabbed at her eyes. "That's a very sweet thing to say."

  "It's the truth."

  "Mark and I have been talking to my parents about moving out of Chicago. We're thinking about going to Austen. My aunt lives there, and Mark has job opportunities. We wouldn't mind putting some distance between ourselves and everything that happened here."

  "That makes sense."

  "But we would definitely still keep in touch with you."

  "I hope so. I told Hayley I would always be available if she needs me."

  "I'm sure she appreciated that," Lindsay said. "So, you and Nathan are going to be Californians…"

  "Yes. We always dreamed about the beach when we were kids. We decided it was time to make the dream happen."

  "Nathan said he always loved you, but it was never right…until now."

  "He's a good man. And I am very lucky to have found him again."

  "Well, we better go downstairs and watch Hayley open her presents."

  "That sounds good to me." She followed Lindsay downstairs. Hayley was sitting in a big chair with the birthday party guests packed into the living room, the kids sitting on the floor, the parents perched on every available piece of furniture.

  Nathan was standing in the entryway. He put his arm around her as Lindsay moved into the room to sit next to Hayley.

  "How did it go?" he asked quietly.

  She gazed into his eyes. "Really, really well. This party, this loving crowd, this beautiful family—it's the kind of life we always dreamed about, Nathan, and my daughter is living it. That's something great."

  "Yes, it is."

  "I'm so glad I came." She leaned her head against his chest, feeling more happiness than she'd ever imagined possible.

  * * *

  The next day, Bree woke up in Manhattan Beach. After a long flight the night before, they'd landed just before midnight and had taken a cab to the small house they'd rented for a month while they looked around for a more permanent location. Too exhausted to explore, they'd tumbled into bed and into sleep.

  But now the sun was shining through the curtains and she was eager to take a better look around her new home. Nathan was already out of bed, so he'd obviously gotten a head start on her.

  She washed up, threw on leggings, a workout top, and a pair of flip-flops and headed down the hall.

  She could see Nathan standing outside on the deck. She grabbed a cup of coffee on her way out to join him. Setting her mug on the wide rail, she gave him a happy smile. "We finally have our view."

  "Yes, we do. What do you think?"

  "It's perfect."

  "They were standing on the second floor of their rental house, and the deck overlooked the strand, a wide pavement for biking, jogging and strolling that ran for several miles, alongside the beaches of Manhattan, Hermosa, and Redondo. It was a great place for people watching. And on the other side of the strand was a wide swath of sand leading out to the Pacific Ocean.

  "It's just like your poster," Nathan said. "The one you put up in your room so many years ago. Endless blue sky, the Pacific ocean, and even one sailboat."

  "I can't believe how lucky we are to be here."

  "I don’t think luck had much to do with it. We both worked hard to get here."

  "And we're here. We're holding the dream in our hands."

  "Well, not quite," he said, taking her hands in his. "Now, we are."

  She gazed into his beautiful brown eyes and felt an enormous wave of love. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

  "I think it's been at least a few hours."

  "Well, I do."

  "I love you, too." He gave her a tender kiss. "We could go back to bed."

  "That sounds tempting, but I was thinking we should explore. It's such a beautiful day. Let's take a walk, find a market, pick up some food. I'm going to cook for you tonight."

  "Hold on—you're going to cook?"

  "Yes, and you know what's on the menu?" she said with a playful smile.

  He groaned. "No way. Not our first night in California."

  "Californians love Brussels sprouts. And you are going to love mine. You'll try one, right?"

  "Have I ever been able to deny you anything?"

  "Actually, I think you have said no a few times."

  He laughed. "Let's not talk about that. Shall we go? I am kind of hungry now, and before we think about dinner, I'd like to grab some breakfast. It looks like there's a beachside café down there." He pointed to where a group of people were waiting outside, menus in hand.

  "Let's do it."

  Nathan grabbed their house keys and they walked downstairs and around to the strand. There were a ton of people out, which probably wasn't surprising on a Saturday morning. What was surprising was that it was almost Thanksgiving and it was already seventy degrees.

  "I think I'm going to like this weather," Nathan said, putting his arm around her shoulders.

  "It's so warm. I can't believe it. I'm surprised you didn't g
o for a run this morning."

  "I might go later. It will certainly be different being able to run outside during the winter."

  "I don't think they have winter here." She paused as they neared the restaurant. "It looks crowded."

  "I'll go inside and put our name in and grab some menus."

  "Sounds good," she said, not wanting to fight through the line.

  Nathan came back a moment later and handed her a menu. "Twenty minutes for a table, they said."

  "That's fine. Let's sit over there." She started to move across the pavement when a man on a skateboard came around the corner, almost knocking her down.

  Nathan quickly pulled her back against him.

  The man gave her a quick look, and then continued on his way.

  Her heart was suddenly beating fast, and it had nothing to do with almost being knocked over.

  "Are you okay?" Nathan asked with concern.

  "That—that was Wyatt," she said.

  "Who's Wyatt?"

  "One of my friends from Quantico."

  Nathan gave her a doubtful look. "The scruffy guy on the board with a thick beard and the baseball cap is a federal agent?"

  "One who often works undercover." She looked down the path, but Wyatt had disappeared.

  Had it been him?

  It had certainly looked like him. But why wouldn't he have said hello, instead of the quick stare, and the even faster takeoff?

  "Maybe I'm wrong. I'm probably wrong," she said.

  "You want to go after him?"

  "No. I want to have breakfast with you. I want to focus on us. If it was Wyatt, and he needs to talk to me, he'll get in touch. Until then, I'm not going to worry about it."

  They crossed over to a low cement wall and sat down. After a brief perusal of the menus, they set them to the side, put their arms around each other and took in the beautiful view.

  "I'm going to make you happy, Bree," Nathan promised, turning his head to look at her. "No more loneliness for you. I'm going to stick so close, you'll get sick of me."

  "I don't think that's possible. I'm going to make you happy, too. And I was thinking maybe one day…" She was afraid to finish the thought.