A Side Order of Deception

by Constance Barker

  “I’m a fool for you, baby!” He said and kissed her cheek again. This time she didn’t wipe it off.

  “Where’ve you been, Red?” she asked him. “Babs and Mercy were worried sick about you.”

  “I’ve been on the midway throwing baseballs, Deloris! I had to get one in that milk can five times to win the top prize for my lady. I got the first three in pretty quick. The last two took me a while, but there was no way I was going to give you a three-foot giraffe when there was this big one there staring at me.”

  “Well...thank you. That was sweet, Red.”

  It was hard for her to get those words out, but it meant the world to Red.

  “I guess we’ve got three syrupy movies going on now,” I said.

  The roping trials were kind of fun to watch, and Ruby seemed to have her eye on one of the cowboys.

  “I don’t think it was the roping that made you want to watch this event, Ruby. I think it’s that cowboy with the dark hair and brooding eyes. Do you know him?”

  She looked at me with a blank expression, and I could see the wheels turning in her head. She was trying to come up with a way to deny it. “Uh...which one? Him? No, not really...oh, that one...um...yes. He’s from my high school.”

  “You’d better go say hello to him.”

  “You think so? Okay...I’ll be back.”

  “Four movies,” Brody said with a smile.

  Chapter Five

  Brody just kept shaking his head as we talked at my little table by the window. The diner was still busy, as the breakfast crowd left, and the Sunday dinner crowd started to come in.

  “I just don’t know how that could have happened,” he said. “It’s a good thing that Sylvia stopped in after we all left the fair yesterday, or the whole building might have burned down.”

  All I knew was that there was a fire in the county courthouse in Calhoun. It’s the building that holds all the county offices, including the Sheriff’s Department and the Public Health Department. Sylvia Chambers, the county Medical Examiner, stopped in to show Dimitri her office before he dropped her off when they left the fair, and the fire alarm went off while they were in the morgue. A fire had started in the Register of Deeds office on the first floor.

  “It’s a terrible thing, Brody, but the fire department got there before it spread very far. The building is still fine.”

  “I don’t know, Mercy. All of the old records – all the deeds and abstracts of title, going back to the Civil War were destroyed. It’s going to cause a big mess.”

  “They can make new documents, can’t they?”

  “That’s just it. When they decided to put everything on computer hard drives a few years ago, they started with the newest records. There’s no way to replace the older ones. Everything in the archive – and that means everything before 1970 – was destroyed, including the old microfiche that was a back-up for the deeds and bills of sale from the 50s and 60s. There’s something that just doesn’t seem right about this.”

  “You think it was arson? How did they get in?”

  “I’m still waiting for the Fire Marshall and state inspectors to issue their findings. And there was no sign of forced entry.”

  “Mercy! Sheriff Hayes!” Junior came in excitedly through the swinging kitchen doors and set a filthy, rusty tin box on the table between us. “Look what Liberty dug up while she was extravating the corner lot out back!”

  I think he meant excavating.

  “What is...this, Junior?” I asked, backing away from the dirt-encrusted box in front of me. It was about a foot long, six inches wide, and six inches deep with a brass handle on top and a small padlock in front.

  Liberty stepped forward. “It came right up in the first scoop from the backhoe,” she said. “We have to open it without ruining it. There might be some things of historical significance inside.”

  She smiled and touched her face conspicuously so that the sunlight would glisten off her bejeweled finger. Well, it was actually just a shiny new half-inch hex bolt.

  Junior put his arm around her and kissed her cheek. “We’re going steady now. Liberty is my girl.”

  The girl could hardly contain her joy. She bent her knees, squeezed him with one arm, and then bounced on her toes a few times. “Isn’t he just the cutest little Teddy bear?” she said, pinching his cheek.

  “Yeah, he’s a regular dreamboat,” Deloris said dryly as she shuffled up to the table, pulling a bobby pin from her hair. “Let me see that lock.”

  She wiped the dirt off with a napkin and wriggled the bobby pin in the keyhole for just a few seconds. She pulled the lock open and removed it from the tin box.

  “There ya go,” she said, and walked away.

  “Don’t you want to see what’s in it, Deloris?” I asked her.

  “Nope.” She went back behind the counter and made another pot of coffee.

  I looked at Brody with a shrug as Junior pulled a chair up for his girlfriend. He stood behind her, twirling her hair in his fingers. I had no idea what this professional woman saw in Jake Junior, but they were kind of adorable together.

  “You’re the expert,” I said to Liberty. “Open it up!”

  She pulled a pair of latex gloves from her pocket and lifted the lid. She looked at me and then at Brody and took a deep breath. Then she reached in and started carefully removing the contents.

  “Don’t touch anything,” Brody said to the rest of us. “All of this could be evidence related to the bones that were found.”

  “And it’s old and fragile, so we don’t want to ruin anything of historical value either,” Liberty added.

  “It’s just a bunch of papers,” Junior said. He walked over to the counter and sat next to his dad.

  “Can we unfold them without hurting anything, Miss Cheswick?” Brody asked Liberty.

  Babs was looking in with interest now, and wiped a spot on the small table with a dry rag. Liberty took a bundle of papers that were tied with a ribbon and slid them out. It appeared to be a stack of maybe fifteen pages folded lightly into thirds.

  “The paper isn’t brittle, and the fold creases aren’t very tight,” she said, “so let me give it a try.”

  She laid the stack out in front of her and opened the top fold. It looked like some kind, legal document. Then she pulled down the bottom third and smoothed the papers out gently with her gloved hand.

  “I don’t have my glasses,” she said, and aimed them toward me.

  I began reading: This special and binding Warranty Deed is made effective this 29th day of June, 1899 by and between Everett Ulysses Paint (Grantor) and Nicholas Hagadorn Drench (Grantee).

  I looked at Brody, and he nodded at me to continue. Everett Ulysses Paint must be the founder of Paint Creek. He probably homesteaded the land around here after the Civil War.

  I continued reading: WITNESSETH, that Grantor, for and in consideration of the sum of 750 US dollars and other good and valuable consideration, to wit in hand paid this day by Grantee and hereby acknowledged by Grantor, does hereby grant, sell, alien, demise, convey, release, and confirm, in perpetuity for all time, unto Grantee the land and real property described as follows: Four-thousand acres from the eastern bank of flowage known as Paint’s, between Paint’s bend to the North and extending two-hundred rods to the South, and extending to the East to Roscoe’s Ridge...

  Brody seemed very interested in every word I read. “It seems that Nicholas Drench – maybe the great-great-grand pappy of my rodeo nemesis – once owned the whole town of Paint Creek.”

  “Maybe he still does,” Babs said, “and then somebody killed him and buried his bones on the corner so they could have it for themselves.” She bounced off to get some hot food from the window.

  “That’s not as dumb as it sounds,” Brody said, rubbing his chin.

  “Excuse me,” a gentleman said walking to our table. “I’m Elvis Overby from the Calhoun Gazette. I’m here covering the historical society’s excavation of the site where the bones were fo
und, and I overheard some of your conversation.”

  “Yes, sir,” I said. “What can we do for you?”

  “I’d like a picture of the deed you were reading, if you don’t mind. It is public information, isn’t it?”

  He looked at Liberty, and she looked at the Sheriff.

  “It could be evidence in a criminal case,” Brody said.

  “But it isn’t yet, correct? I can try to reconstruct it from memory, I suppose, but the interest of the people would be better served if I gave them the real facts, don’t you agree?”

  Brody slowly moved his head from side to side, considering the options.

  “It is the property of the county’s Historical Society at the moment,” Liberty said, “and all of our property is available for public scrutiny.”

  “Sure,” Brody said, hesitantly. “One picture should be okay.”

  He took a picture with his phone and left the café.

  Brody secured the box and documents in an evidence bag, and Liberty went back to the dig site. Brody and I discussed the fire and the odd deed for quite a while. Deloris set a plate of pot roast, baby carrots, and mashed potatoes between Brody and me, with two forks.

  “Dinners almost over,” she said, “and you two haven’t eaten all day.”

  “Thank you, Deloris.” I loved Smoke’s pot roast, and the aroma had been tempting me all day. I wanted to resist, but I dug right into the sinfully delicious mashed potatoes and gravy.

  Then she set down a big iced tea with one straw for us to share.

  “One straw?” I asked.

  “I’m pretty sure you two have swapped spit before, so you can share.”

  “I’ll sip from your straw, Mercy,” Brody said with a wink.

  The dinner rush was over, and the only customers left were at the counter.

  “Here comes the fortune teller,” Deloris said.

  We looked out the window to see Maggie DuChayne coming across the street. She came in and sat at the counter, right next to Jake. I could see Babs’ claws coming out.

  “Deloris, can you handle it for a while? I have to run upstairs to my apartment.”

  “Sure thing, Babsy. Take your time.”

  “Thanks!”

  She walked up behind Jake and put her hand on his shoulder. “Jakey, sweetheart,” she said, “would you be a dear, and help me move my sofa in my living room upstairs?” She glared at Maggie and continued. “I dropped my lipstick behind it, and it’s just too heavy for a girl like me.”

  “No problem, Babs,” he said, getting up from his stool. “Junior, let’s go and help the little lady.”

  “No!” Babs objected. “Just you, Jakey.” She stroked his arm. “A big strong man like you won’t need any help pulling it out from the wall a little bit.”

  “I suppose you’re right. Let’s go.”

  She took his arm and escorted him through the swinging doors, stopping to wink at me over her shoulder, and to make a face at Maggie. Her competitor for Jake’s affection seemed to be amused by it all. They went out and up the back stairway, and soon we heard their footsteps on the ceiling above us.

  “Babsy’s got something up her sleeve,” Deloris said. “Her sofa isn’t even against the wall. It’s just set out like a divider between the dining room and the living room.”

  “Well,” I said, “I know she’s been thinking about rearranging her living room. Maybe she just wants to try out a few different arrangements.”

  “Yeah, and have some alone time with her heartthrob, I suspect. Maybe she wants to get to his heart by giving him a taste of her cherry cobbler. I know she baked some last night.”

  “Good for her,” I said.

  Maggie just smiled and slid over next to Junior, and I filled up a glass of iced tea for Brody and me.

  “Mercy,” he said as I sat down across the table from him, “I want you to come to Calhoun tomorrow and walk through the area where the fire was with me. I can think better when you’re with me.”

  You mean, I can solve the crime, and you can take all the credit, as usual. “Sure, Watson. If you think you’ll be needing your Sherlock.”

  “Hey...I thought I was Sherlock.”

  I’m sure you did. “I’m always happy to be your Watson, you know that, Brody. I’ll stop by after breakfast...and then I have to do my meat order, so say – at about 11:00?”

  “That would be perfect. That will give me time to go over the Fire Marshall’s report and see what Sylvia has to say about the bones. She might know a little more information, like the age and sex of the person and how long they’ve been in the ground.”

  All of a sudden, we heard a loud crashing sound coming from upstairs, on the other side of the room. It sounded like a big picture fell off the wall, and then we heard and felt a rocking sound. Deloris and I looked at each other.

  Maggie got up and left.

  “Sounds like somebody is sawing a big tree in half up there,” Junior said, looking up at the ceiling as the hanging light began to sway slightly. “They must be moving that sofa, I guess.”

  Deloris and I knew better. Her living room was on the opposite side of her apartment from the noise. Her bedroom was over there. It sounded more like her big bed was sliding back and forth. Brody caught on to the smirks that Deloris and I were exchanging, and realized what was going on.

  Smoke stuck his head out of the kitchen and looked toward the noised with a puzzled expression. Then he chuckled and shook his head. “Good for you, Jake,” he said and went back into the kitchen.

  Fifteen minutes later, Babs was the first to appear through the swinging door. She was humming like Cinderella and had a dreamy look in her eye. She was floating around swiftly as she gathered the salt shakers from all the booths to refill them.

  Jake came out a minute later. His eyes were wide open, and he had a blank look on his face. He bumped into the corner of the counter as he came around to his stool.

  “More coffee, Jakey?” Babs sang sweetly.

  Jake just looked straight ahead without blinking and nodded.

  Deloris filled the cup for him. “You want anything before Smoke turns off the grill Jake?” she asked him.

  He was in a different universe and didn’t even hear her.

  “Jake? Jake!”

  “You okay, Pops?” Junior asked. “It’s Sunday. They’re going to shut it down pretty soon. You want anything?”

  He just shook his head like a zombie. Babs walked by with some full salt shakers, and he lurched out and grabbed her arm.

  “What is it, sweetie?” she asked him with a sweet smile.

  “Uh, Babs...” He breathed twice and seemed to come back to earth. “You know, if you want that...uh...sofa moved again tomorrow, I’d be happy to do that with you...to you...um, for you again, you know.”

  She kissed his cheek and bounced to the nearest booth to set down the shakers, and then she came back and grabbed his cheek. “Thanks, Jakey. But I think I’ll be okay for at least a couple more days, okay?”

  He nodded, and followed her with his eyes wherever she went.

  “Well,” Brody said, putting on his hat and getting to his feet, “this has been an interesting weekend. There must be something strange in the air. It’s time for me to leave this little Peyton Place and head for the hills. See you in the morning, Merse.”

  Chapter Six

  I hated Monday mornings, but I got up early for a jog before I went to the diner. I pigged out on pot roast yesterday, and now I had to pay the price.

  “Wizard,” I hollered to my little hamster, “are you and Gracie hungry yet, or can I feed you when I get back in 25 minutes?” I walked into the living room to see them both sleeping in their cage, their tiny bodies rising and falling quickly with their every breath. “Perfect,” I whispered. I kissed two fingers and then patted him on the head. “Love you. I’ll be back soon, my little Wizzie.”

  There was a quiet knock on the front door, and I ran to get it before she knocked more loudly. At 6:00 a.m., it co
uld only be one person.

  “Hey, Ruby!”

  “Are you running this morning? I saw your light on, so I thought I’d see if you want to run with Goldie and me.” Her yellow lab was on a leash, sitting obediently by her side. She looked gorgeous in her black spandex and lavender headband.

  “Absolutely.”

  I went out onto the stoop and did a few stretches and knee-bends in preparation for our two-and-a-half-mile jog. She had her stopwatch in her hand. “The first mile has to be less than seven and a half minutes, and then we can slow down to a nine-minute pace, Mercy. Okay?”

  “No sweat!” Easy for me to say, but she was in a lot better shape than I was. That’s more of a sprint than a jog for me. She was a teacher at the high school and had to arrive by 7:30. “What are you waiting for?” I ran down the steps, knowing that it would be the only time I would be ahead of her.

  “So, tell me about your cowboy, the calf-roper. I thought you were more the Wall Street shark type of girl.”

  “Not me! I like muscles, blue jeans, and common sense more than brains, Armani suits, and ambition. I’ve found that blue-collar guys have bigger hearts than guys who are all about the money.”

  “You might be on to something there, Ruby.” I had to get my questions out while I could still breathe. “So, who is he?”

  “The rodeo guy? He was my first boyfriend in high school...my first kiss.”

  “Your first everything?”

  “Yeah. Then I went to college, and he went to a trade school in Kansas and ended up doing rodeos. I saw on social media that he was going to be here.”

  “Was he glad to see you?”

  “So glad,” she said. “He’s still single and wants to see me while he’s here.”

  “Are you going to go out with him?”

  She looked at her stopwatch as we rounded the corner at Earl Street and picked up the pace. Wonderful.

  “Of course. I was crazy about him. I mean he’s a big star now and can have any girl he wants.”

  “But he wants you.”

  “I guess. Their lockers at the rodeo are alphabetical, so he’s right next to that superstar, Harry Drench. My guy’s name is Justin Dean.”