The Way We Roll

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  Mikey pulled us apart. “Forget the mushy stuff. All right, let’s follow her out.”

  When I got back to Torian and Loni’s place, I was so tired. I couldn’t go to bed, though; the cozy place was cramped. All the chapter sorors were over. Turns out Hayden wanted to have a emergency meeting for Alpha chapter. At first I thought this would be all about me, but then I was surprised to see Keisha standing among everyone.

  Torian greeted me at the door and whispered, “They were called to talk about what’s happening to you. Keisha got word of us getting together and crashed our meeting. She’s trying to convince us not to testify against her.”

  I nodded and sat down to hear what she had to say. Actually, I hadn’t thought about Keisha in weeks. So much stuff had been going on since the accident. I knew she was okay; I had seen her in passing a long time ago, and I was thankful my prayer for her recovery had been answered.She wasn’t even attending our school anymore, so I just assumed all was well. I had forgotten that she was going to be tried for voluntary manslaughter. She’d almost lost her life, Sharon’s baby was gone, and so was the precioussoror from Beta chapter. However, for Keisha it seemed like this was only the beginning of another dark period. I could tell from the looks on the girls’ faces that the chapter was torn.

  “I know what I did was wrong. I just always thought hazing was okay. I mean, that is how I was brought up—old-school style, you know? Make people understand that these letters, these symbols can’t just be handed over.” Keisha wasn’t winning me over with her words.

  “I understand that,” Hayden said, “but a girl is gone! I asked you guys to lay off the pledges, and you got with Trisha, my girl, who is already suspended for money launderinglast year from the chapter. Then y’all start to drink and get even wilder, and your actions took human life. I can’t ...” Hayden couldn’t finish—she just started crying.

  Sharon wasn’t there. She was so upset with Keisha she couldn’t face anyone yet.

  “Don’t y’all think I’ve suffered enough? I didn’t even know if I was going to live and I didn’t want to know what I had done, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. Now I just need your help. You know I didn’t mean to take somebody’slife. Don’t sell me out.” Keisha got up and left.

  Everyone was squabbling back and forth, taking differentsides. Sadly our chapter was divided. Some supported Keisha’s stance; some were completely against backing her in any way.

  I got to my feet and hollered, “If we haven’t learned anything out of all this, haven’t we learned that truth can bring us closer? This is supposed to be a Christian organization.Let’s stand on God’s side for a change. And if we let God prevail, He’ll take care of everything else.”

  A couple weeks had gone by, and thankfully the sorors had taken my advice. When asked to give their testimony, they told the truth. No one wanted to see Keisha go to jail, but no one wanted the two lives that had been lost not to have justice either.

  I guess that was the thing us young folks had to learn—there are consequences to our actions, and being a part of a sorority, we were supposed to be our sister’s keeper. Our sisterhood meant not just getting along, it meant holding each other accountable. It also meant taking a stance and helping your sister be better than she was the day before. We were supposed to get on each other’s tails when we dropped the ball. I was proud we were doing that.

  Because the trial was so highly publicized, we canceled Beta week, which was great for me because it was draft time and Kade insisted I come up to the football complex at his school and watch the draft with him. The draft invitedonly a select group of players to New York—the top five who analysts estimated would be picked first. Kade was a little upset because although he had been previouslypromised one of those invites, at the last minute that prestigious offer had been revoked. However, they did send an ESPN crew to his campus to broadcast the whole thing because he could go anywhere from the first round to the end of the third round.

  We were on pick number ten, and he hadn’t gone. There were hundreds of people, players, fans, and family who were there to support him, but he couldn’t take the pressure. Upsetand embarrassed, he got up and went outside. I followed him.

  “It’s going to be okay, you know,” I said as I touched his shoulder.

  “I’m embarrassed, don’t you see it? After every pick they’re showing me sitting there waiting on my cell to ring. No team wants me. Just because I didn’t have high numbers at the NFL Combine, teams have backed off me. They’re saying that because I was hurt this season that I won’t go the extra mile for my team. I knew I should have gotten back in during that first game.”

  “Are you blaming me?” I remembered telling him duringthat first game that he didn’t have to go back out and play.

  He cupped my face. “No, no. I don’t want you to misreadanything I’m saying right now. You gave me your advice,and I took it. If something had gone wrong, I wouldn’t even be here with a chance to be drafted, period. I’m just frustrated, that’s all, baby.”

  “Give me your hands.” He gave me his hands, and I grasped them firmly and said, “Lord, only you know if this man is going to be drafted. We put this in Your hands a long time ago, and right now we’re trying to be the potter.Help us remember that we are just the clay and that what you have in store for Kade ... Nobody can take that away. Give him the peace and confidence to rest in You this day. Whatever You may have happen, may it be joyfulnews for his heart and soul. We love You and thank You for this opportunity. And we tell You right now Lord, that if you see fit to give him a chance, he will continue to walk in stride to please You. He’s trying. Trust me, I know he’s trying.”

  Kade squeezed me real tight. His mom ran out and screamed, “Your cell! Your cell is ringing! Boy, come on in here and grab this phone!”

  Sure enough, God had heard us. Kade was the fourteenth pick of the first round. The New York Giants had selected Kade Wallace. Kade threw me in the air and thanked me for truly being there for him.

  After much celebrating, the limousine Kade had hired for the day, dropped me back off at my apartment. Kade kissed me and told me I’d be okay staying by myself. I smiled because I could tell he was worried about his girl. However, he had to fly out to New York, and I wasn’t going to keep him from his dream.

  I was so happy for him. I couldn’t wait to find out how he liked his new team. Now that he’d be signing with a pro team, the endorsement deal with the shoe company could be fulfilled.

  As soon as I woke up from my nap, my phone rang and I quickly answered it. “Hey, baby, you got there already?”

  “This is Sirena from next door. I can’t believe you’re home,” she said angrily. “I have been watching your home, and you didn’t even have the decency to let me know you were back. Then you’re going to pick up the phone and answer like it was your boyfriend. You are such a slut.”

  Click! I hung up the phone quicker than I could think. Sirena wasn’t going to steal my joy. I was so sick and tired of her. She needed to know I would not take any more of her bullying.

  17

  GONE

  No sooner had I hung up the telephone than Sirena came rushing over to my door and started banging on it. I wanted to tell her tail to go away. I did not want to talk to her. I did not feel like getting grilled. Dang, I was tired, but she knew I was home. And she kept banging,so, reluctantly, I opened the door, ready to stand up for myself.

  Sirena surprised me by being rather pleasant. “I’m so sorry, Malloy. I shouldn’t have been so pushy. I know I sounded crazy, girl.”

  When she tried to come in, I said, “I’m tired, Sirena.”

  “It’s cool,” she said, pushing open the door.

  “I would have let you know I was back in, but I just got in the door and fell right to sleep.”

  “Oh, naw, naw. I—I know you would have let me know. I know you’re tired. I ain’t trying to hold you up. I wanna see you for a second. You gonna make me stay out here like this? I’ve been w
atching your place. You ain’t gonna let me in?”

  “Okay,” I said, going against my better judgment and opening the steel door, locking it after she was inside.

  She kept making small chitchat, talking about absolutely nothing—nothing worth listening to, anyway. I wanted to unwind in my place, to relax and chill out. It was all locked down and secure. I had just had a great day. I just wanted to take a nice, hot bath and be left alone. “I’m not trying to be rude, Sirena, but, girl, you gotta let me go to bed. I need to take a bath. I’m hot.”

  “Yeah, you’re hot all right,” she said.

  I was so taken aback I stood there frozen as she rubbed her hand up and down my face. I’d been in her presence a lot of times, and she had always had a big-sister type of attitude, but I had never felt like she was trying to get with me, or I would have cut this off a long time ago.

  “Hey, I don’t swing that way,” I said as she placed her other hand around my waist. “Get back!”

  I pushed her when she would not move. She went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. My heart stopped beating.She pushed the knife under my chin and pierced the outer layer of skin. “Listen, I’m tired of you holding out on me while you can go and give it up to that little footballplayer boy every weekend. I’ve seen him prancing in and out of here at all crazy hours of the night.”

  First of all, I didn’t know what she was talking about. And second, I couldn’t believe she had been watching me like that. She lowered the knife and ripped off the top button of my blouse.

  “What are you doing?” I asked her, shaking.

  “I want mine. I want you right now. You teased me all year.”

  “Teased you how, Sirena? I’ve never made you think I was interested in you, and I never knew you were gay.”

  “After all them free dinners and stuff I made for you, you gon’ try to hold out on me now? Uh-uh, girl. I want some of this.”

  She took my head and pushed me to my knees. With watery eyes, I screamed, “Wait ...”

  “No, I’ve been waiting way too long.”

  “No—no, I just need you to tell me why. I need some understanding. I can’t just be with somebody when I have questions.” I tried to say anything to get her to distracted.

  “Okay. What you wanna know?”

  “You say you care about me. You wanna be with me. Did you bust my window in?”

  “Yeah, because I got a cousin who goes to the Universityof Southeastern Arkansas, and I went to the party, tryingto hook up with you. I get there, and I see you all in some dude’s face. I thought if I tore things apart right then and there, I wouldn’t have to deal with him no more, but you still hung out with him. You still wanna be with him to this day. Don’t you know that dude can’t make you feel good like I can?” she said, still waving the knife in my face.

  “And tearing up my place? Was that you. too?”

  “Yeah, I did. I wanted you to stay over. You promised you were gonna be with me, and when your plans changed, I just got really angry. Then I go to a party, and I see you with all them other sorority girls, y’all are all close and tight up on each other. I tore up your jacket, too.”

  As soon as she started laughing, I took the lamp from the side table in the living room and hit her over the head. She was so strong, though, that it only angered her. She came toward me, finally turned me over, and put the knife against my throat.

  “I dare you to move,” she said with the most terrifying glare I’d ever seen plastered on her mean face.

  I couldn’t tell if it was just my wish, but then I heard a ton of sirens. Obviously it was God looking out for me because Sirena quickly got up and went over to the windowand peered out. I took this moment to run and open the door. She just started cursing, and I just started praying. Thank you, Lord; thank you, Father. Four officers rushed in, and I pointed to Sirena, and then this guy in a dark jacket and shades came over to me and asked me if I was okay.

  Catching my breath, I asked, “No, I’m quite shaken up. Who are you? How’d y’all know?”

  “Your dad hired me. I’m Ronald Weaver. I have my own private-investigator service in this area. My night watchman caught this. I called the cops when he called me. We’ve caught your next-door neighbor looking through your stuff.”

  “Looking through my stuff? I don’t understand.”

  “Well, she came in with a key a couple times.”

  “A key? I never gave her a key to my place.”

  “I guess she had one made. We didn’t know you hadn’t given it to her. But when we caught her smelling your personal items, we knew then that she was not your typicalfriend.”

  “I gotta call my dad. I need to talk to my father.”

  Mr. Weaver said, “I’ve already alerted him. He should be here momentarily.”

  “Thank you, sir,” I said as I extended my hand to him.

  Sirena didn’t go quietly. She just started screaming and yelling my name. I sat there in the living room shaking. Mr. Weaver brought over a blanket, and that still didn’t seem to help. I couldn’t believe my attacker had been under my nose the whole time. Sirena was someone I had let into my inner world, and she had wanted to harm me.

  Though absolutely nothing had happened, I felt so dirty. So broken. So used. I felt like a little girl who needed her father. Just at that moment, when I didn’t feel I could hold it together any longer, my dad came through the door and rushed over to me.

  “Baby, you all right?”

  “Daddy!” I cried.

  “I knew that girl next door was extreme.”

  “I know, Dad. I wish I could have seen it coming. I’m so glad I didn’t stay with her.”

  “Well, right now you gon’ stay with me.”

  “Sir, your daughter will be safe. They’re taking her assailantstraight to jail now, but she can get out on bond. We can have all Malloy’s things out of here by morning.”

  “That sounds good, Ronald. As soon as the police are done with her, I’m taking Malloy home. I plan to watch my baby. Thank you for doing a great job. You saved her,” my dad said as he and Mr. Weaver shook hands.

  Over the last few years since my parents had separated, my dad had not been a major presence in my life. I’d been so upset with him for that, but I knew deep down I really needed him in my life to guide me and love me and protectme. And now here he stood doing just that. Finally I felt safe. It felt so good.

  I had been getting a lot of love from my sorors. However,I wasn’t in any position to talk to them now and explainall that had happened. Right now, I was secure in my father’s love. My Heavenly Father had brought my dad into my life in a major way at just the right time.

  Actually I didn’t want to talk to my mom either. Rehashingthe creepy ordeal wasn’t sitting right with my stomach. So my dad took her through the whole thing again on the phone. I laid back and rode to his house.

  “Naw, she’s all right. She’s with me. I’ll tell her. Your mom said she loves you,” he said once he hung up.

  “Yeah, I know she does.”

  “You know I love you, too, although I’ve been missing a lot,” he said sadly. “I didn’t get to see you go to your junioror senior prom. I was out of town during your high school graduation. I’m sorry.”

  Giving him the last smile I could muster, I said, “You’re here now though, Daddy. Just don’t go missing from my life again.”

  “You can count on it. I won’t,” he said tenderly.

  Though I knew Sirena couldn’t find me, I could not sleep at night. I would wake up in a cold sweat. My dad would rush into my bedroom and tell me it was just a dream. I went to school only to take my final exams and then I went back home.

  I knew the National Convention was in a couple of weeks and that my sorors expected me to be there for step practice. But I couldn’t go. Didn’t wanna go. I felt anythingbut sociable, and though I knew Torian and Loni would probably never speak to me again for cutting them out of my life, I just went back to the old, comfortable me. Nobody co
uld hurt me if they weren’t close.

  I was home alone after my dad left for work when the doorbell rang. “Please let me in, baby. I wanna talk to you. I’m headed to mini camp.”

  I answered the door. I looked a hot mess. But for some reason I didn’t care.

  “I know I haven’t called,” I said in a carefree voice.

  “It’s all right,” Kade said as he tried to stroke my face, but I stepped away. “I talked to your brother. He told me everything. Baby, I’m sorry.”

  “I just don’t understand how I didn’t know she was so crazy,” I said as I sat on a couch far across the room. “And now you’re about to leave. Maybe it’s just best that we cut ties, too.”

  “I’m going to the NFL. I’m not going out of your life.”

  “I don’t want you to feel obligated to me, Kade.”

  Coming over to my side, he took my hand and looked at me with a tender expression. “Malloy, I love you. Thinkingabout you in my future is what motivates me to excel more than I ever have. And not being able to talk to you for these last seventy-two hours drove me crazy.”

  “If my dad catches you over here—”

  “No, no, I already talked to your father. I didn’t want any bad blood there. He knows I don’t have too much time to stay, so I can’t get into any trouble with his daughter. He thought it was good that I come over to check on you.”

  “Yeah, I don’t think my dad’s ever taken a day from work in his life. He took off that first day I was here. I couldn’t sleep that whole night that all this happened. He didn’t leave my side for a full day. Just like when I had chicken pox at eight and he was there. Weird.”

  “Naw, it’s just love. My dad’s been calling me, too.”

  “I bet he is, now that you’re signed and rich.”

  “I don’t know if what he said was true, but he told me he didn’t want a dime from me. Malloy, he said he knew he didn’t deserve anything. And his biggest regret is that he didn’t give me a chance to show him that being my father would have been worth it. He told me he was proud of me because I did it on my own without him,” Kade said as his eyes got a little teary.