Damaged and the Beast

by Bijou Hunter

  Giving me a quick nod, Cooper smiled slightly. “Can you wear your hair down?”

  Without thinking, I touched my ponytail. “Sure,” I muttered, self-conscious now. “Should I wear any particular outfit?”

  Cooper lost his smile again. “Whatever. I just like your hair down because you look less like my waitress and more like my date. I guess that makes me a dick.”

  Backing away, I felt nervous under his glare. Cooper gave the dog’s head a good caress then left the animal and walked to me.

  “It doesn’t have to be this difficult. Why do you make it that way?”

  “I have issues.”

  Cooper gave me a half smile. “Messed up chicks are hot.”

  “That explains why you’re so into me. I’m super messed up.”

  Fully smiling now, he stepped a little closer. “Wear your hair any way you want.” Nodding, I inched away from him and Cooper sighed. “Never in my life has it been this much work.”

  “I still think that’s the real reason you’re so hot for me. You want the chase.”

  “No, I want you.”

  Shivering at the need behind his words, I shrugged. “I think you’d lose interest if I gave you what you wanted.”

  Running a hand through his damp blond hair, Cooper looked over my head at the beautiful view then his gaze returned to me.

  “Let me ask you this, Farah. If you want rid of me and I’ll blow you off once I’m done fucking you, why don’t you just let me fuck you? Is it that you think I might not go away and you’ll be forced to admit something else is happening here?”

  “No.”

  Grinning at my lie, Cooper moved closer. “Anything special you want me to wear tonight?”

  I smiled despite my best efforts. “Don’t get all dressed up on my account, Coop. I’d think you were plenty pretty even if you showed up in sweats.”

  Laughing in his deep way that I felt to my core, Cooper reached out to touch my face. I backed away because he was all kinds of bad news. While I planned to put his question to the test and get rid of him for good, I wasn’t ready yet. Cooper sighed heavily when I dodged his affections.

  “Don’t cry,” I said, giving him a grin. “I still like you. I just don’t want the dog’s sloppy seconds.”

  Smiling slightly, he studied my face. “I’m not giving up. If you keep running, I’ll keep chasing. I know what I want and I’m not pissing it away because you have issues.”

  “Right because there’d be no logical reason to avoid getting involved with you.”

  “No, there wouldn’t.”

  “You sleep around. You beat on people. You aren’t exactly the warm and cuddly type.”

  Cooper shoved his hands into his pockets. “You don’t know what type I am because you see what you want.”

  “Trust me that you’re not nearly as mysterious as you think.”

  “And you’re full of shit. You want this too, but it’s easier to pretend I’m the problem.”

  Moving away from him, I frowned. “No, you’re right. It’s better if I give in so you can treat me like shit.”

  “Why the fuck would I?”

  “Because that’s how you treat all those other girls.”

  “You’re not like them.”

  “How do you know? You fuck those girls then throw them away like used condoms. They might be exactly like me, but you wouldn’t know. You never fucking talk to them. If I had fucked you that first night, you’d have tossed me aside without talking to me too.”

  “Bullshit. You wouldn’t have fucked me the first night.”

  Stepping back, I glared at him. “I’m not pure. I’m not the good girl. Just like they’re not whores. People are complicated, but you see what you want. You judge them worthy of your time then dismiss them. You’ll do it with me and I’ll be lucky to have gotten screwed by you.”

  “Fuck!” Cooper yelled, startling me a foot off the ground. “You won’t let me show you. You think this shit about me and you won’t let me do anything different. You won’t let me do anything period.”

  “I don’t want to go to dinner,” I said, crossing my arms.

  Hurrying towards the front of the house, I hoped Bailey was around. Somehow, I sensed she knew what was happening and decided to keep herself invisible.

  When Cooper grabbed me around the waist and forced me to face him, I thought to struggle. Yet, I knew how men like him reacted to a challenge. Instead, I waited for him to make his move. If he pushed me too far, I would fight. I’d lose, but I’d hurt him a little too.

  “Just let me show you,” Cooper said.

  “Show me what?”

  “Those girls aren’t you. Let me show you what I see when I look at you. Stop telling me who and what I am and just let me show you.”

  “You’re not my type.”

  “I’m exactly your type. That’s why you’re shaking. You’re afraid if you get a taste that you’ll never want to let go.”

  “I’m shaking because you yelled at me and grabbed me. You’re violent and I’m afraid of you.”

  Cooper let go and stepped back. “I hit assholes, not girls.”

  “I guess.”

  “You can keep running, but I’m not fucking kidding about chasing you. I won’t give up until you give me a chance. A real chance to show you who I am and what I see happening between us. You can talk about used condoms and me being a scary slut or whatever, but until you give me a chance, I’m not letting you go. If you really think I’m that guy and I don’t give a shit about you, go to dinner. What harm is there in that?”

  “I don’t want to encourage you.”

  “Every time you look at me… Hell, every fucking breath you take encourages me. Just knowing you exist encourages me because I can’t get you out of my head and that doesn’t happen with me. If I don’t want to think about something, I just don’t. I can’t do that with you, so I’m not giving up until you let me show you who I am.”

  “If I go out with you tonight and want to leave, you’ll let me?”

  “I’m not keeping you chained up, if that’s what you mean?”

  “You know what I mean. I don’t have a car. It’s like the night after work when you had complete power over where we went and how long we stayed there. I want your word that if I want to go home, you won’t play those games.”

  A frowning Cooper scratched at the angel tattoo on his left arm. “You have to give me a real chance though. No playing your hot and cold games. You want me. I can see it in your eyes and I know you’re full of shit when you act like you want to be my friend. I know you want more and I want you to try tonight. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll back off. If you fuck around though, I’m not walking away.”

  Based on Cooper’s expression, he wasn’t kidding. When I nodded, the anger around his jaw eased and he stepped a little closer

  “I know a nice place,” he said softly. “Good food. Calm. It’s where I should have taken you the first time.”

  “What should I wear?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” he said, brushing his fingers against my cheek. “The place is casual, but nice. You’ll like it.”

  With my arms wrapped around me, I nodded again. Frowning, Cooper focused his gaze on me and swallowed hard.

  “I shouldn’t have told you to fuck off on Sunday,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have called you an uptight bitch either. You were just scared. I knew that, but I wanted you and didn’t know the right thing to say. Tonight, I’ll know the right thing.”

  Fighting the heat in my eyes, I didn’t want to cry, but he was looking at me as if I had value. While I shouldn’t care what he thought, Cooper was beautiful, smart, funny, and he wanted me. I had really hoped he wanted me, but now I was scared to get my wish.

  “Tonight,” I said because it was all I could think to say.

  “It’ll be calm. I promise no fights. No bullshit. Just you and me eating and talking like normal people.”

  “That sounds nice.”

  Coo
per erased the space between us. “In case something fucked up happens and tonight doesn’t work out, I want to kiss you now.”

  “Why would something fucked up happen?” I asked alarmed.

  Cooper shrugged then leaned down to kiss me. I thought to step back, but lifted my lips instead. Remembering how good his kisses felt before, I wished he was the one for me. I wished things could be easy because I wanted to have someone look at me and see value. Yet, as Cooper kissed me, I knew I was fooling myself to think I would end up as anything more than a used condom.

  Chapter Nine

  I never heard Cooper’s motorcycle before he knocked on the door. When I answered, he gave me a soft, maybe even nervous smile. I returned it, feeling anxious while shutting the door behind me.

  Glancing over my jeans and pink tee, he swallowed hard. “You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you. You look really good too,” I said, noticing how he wore all black from his boots to his shirt.

  As we walked to the front of the complex, Cooper suddenly stopped. “This is for real, right?”

  “What?”

  “This date. You’re really giving me a chance, right? I need for you to be open to things and not just playing along because I said I would keep chasing. I need a real chance because you’ve got me all messed up inside.”

  Staring up at Cooper, I held his gaze and forced a smile. “I like you a lot. I don’t think we make any sense, but I wish we did.”

  “We could though,” he said, taking my hand. “You’re scared of all the surface stuff. The tats and the way I mouth off, but that’s surface. On the inside, I know you’re special. It’s why I need a chance.”

  “I’m going on the date.”

  Sighing, Cooper frowned. “Because I said I would basically stalk you until you said yes.”

  “I don’t expect anything from tonight. Good or bad. I just want to see what happens. I’m giving you a chance.”

  Cooper glanced around the muggy night. “This place has great pasta. Do you like Italian? If you don’t, we can go somewhere else.”

  “I love Italian.”

  Giving me his cocky grin, Cooper opened the door of a big black truck. “There are rare moments when a Harley isn’t the best form of transportation. This is one of those moments.”

  I climbed into the Ford F-350 and strapped myself in. Cooper joined me and his gaze was soft in a way that made me want him so much I nearly cried at the futility of even hoping. I didn’t cry though. I planned to enjoy myself tonight. I also intended to be a different kind of Farah.

  As he started the truck, I took off my seatbelt. Cooper immediately looked startled as if I might make a run for it. Instead, I leaned over and kissed him gently. He made no effort to deepen the kiss. Letting me lead, Cooper stared at me with those smoky eyes when I pulled away and returned to my side of the truck.

  “Hell…” Cooper muttered full of heat as he drove from the apartment complex.

  “How is school going?” I asked, acting casual.

  “It’s school. I go to make my parents happy. I don’t care one way or the other.”

  “What would you do if you didn’t attend college?”

  “Travel around, I guess. My family goes on road trips in the summers. I love RVing around the country and up to Canada. There’s a shitload of places to check out. We camp, hike, ski, explore. Some of my best memories are on the road.”

  When Cooper talked about his family, he seemed approachable and not so different than me. “If you could go anywhere right this minute, where would you go?”

  Cooper glanced at me then focused on the road. “Do you want the happy answer or the real one?”

  “Both, I guess.”

  “The happy answer is I’d go to the Grand Canyon. I love that place and can go there a million times and still notice new things.”

  When he stopped talking, I asked, “What’s the real answer?”

  “I’d go wherever your sister is and bring her here so you wouldn’t be alone.”

  Turning away, I stared out of the window and fought the urge to cry. Cooper said nothing for the rest of the drive to the restaurant. When we arrived, he turned off the truck and sighed.

  “Are you angry?”

  “Angry that you said the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me?” I asked, glancing at him with slightly wet eyes. “I miss her so much and I mentioned that one time and you remembered. So no, I’m not angry.”

  Cooper gave me a slight smile. “Let’s eat and you can tell me more about her.”

  “Really?”

  “I want to know you and I sense you fake things to make yourself seem like everyone else. Your sister is real for you though and I want real.”

  When he moved to get out of the car, I touched his arm. His gaze met mine then our lips became acquainted again. It was a short soft kiss and I found myself wanting more, instead of waiting for it to be over.

  Soon, we walked inside the small Italian restaurant on the outskirts of town. Seated quickly, we looked over the menu and I was excited to eat whatever I wanted because I’d always loved Italian food. My dad said it was too expensive though. Based on the prices, the food wasn’t cheap, but I didn’t think about it when I was with Cooper. I knew he was like Skye, using money as if it was mere paper to be tossed around.

  “Tell me about Tawny,” Cooper said, sitting across the table and watching me with such a warm gaze I felt nervous to ruin his mood.

  “She’s really perceptive. If I’m kinda book smart, she’s common sense smart. Great at reading people. A hard worker too. She’s shy though and hates school.”

  Cooper reached across the table and wiped away the tear from my cheek.

  “I’m sorry, but I’ve never gone this long without seeing her. It’s like a part of me is missing.”

  “Why can’t she move here?”

  “My dad won’t let her. Mom doesn’t want her here either. I’m saving up though and I’ll get an apartment for us. Tawny can get a job and we’ll be together, but it probably can’t happen until she turns eighteen.”

  “Where is she now?”

  “I’m not sure. My dad is in trouble with some people and he’s laying low. They’re somewhere in Texas.”

  “That’s bullshit,” Cooper said quietly as he tapped hard on the table. “Raising kids that way is crap. Some of my pop’s friends are assholes like that and their kids turn out to be shit. You and your sister shouldn’t have turned out great, but here you are.”

  “I don’t like to think of my dad as an asshole.”

  “But you know he is and that’s why you don’t like thinking about it.”

  “He took care of me and Tawny. He has his good qualities.”

  “So did Hitler. So does everyone. No one is pure shit. Everyone can be great in little ways. I’m sorry, Farah, but the way you are about stuff tells me that your dad didn’t do a great job.”

  Frowning, I felt embarrassed like he just called me a loser. Cooper reached across the table again and this time took my hand.

  “You want to fit in so much. I see this need in your eyes to be like everyone else and you can’t see how amazing you are just being you. Plus, there’s the way you freaked out on Sunday when the fight broke out. Baby, that wasn’t a normal chick move. You were terrified in a way few other girls would have been. I’ve had rich bitches around when a fight broke out. At the most, they scream and hide under a table. You took off like your life depended on it. You don’t get that kind of fear response by growing up feeling safe.”

  “He did the best he could.”

  “Protect your own,” he said, slowly pulling away his hand. “I get it. Look at Tucker. He’s a turd in every way, but he’s my little brother. I’d kill to protect him. Die too, but I know he’s a loser. Knocking up Maddy was ridiculous. Well, actually knocking her up was pretty ingenious for him, but then he told everyone he did it. That’s why he’s a turd. The douche made himself and Maddy look stupid. They are stupid, but he could have kep
t it quiet.”

  “Ingenious?”

  “Maddy is flaky and he thought she would ditch school and go home. He wanted her to stay and devised a plan. It was a stupid plan, but for him to think it out and put it in motion was pretty brilliant for Tuck. In reality, she would have stayed for the same reason she didn’t admit to knowing those weren’t her pills. She wants to keep him. Maddy’s like you in a lot of ways. Poor and struggling to get ahead. She saw a chance to be with a guy with money and jumped at the chance. The weirdest shit is how she actually loves him. I can’t imagine why anyone would love that idiot if they had a choice, but she thinks he’s the funniest sweetest guy ever. It’s pretty nauseating, but they’re happy and I have to be happy for them.”

  “Did you have a good childhood?”

  “Hell yeah,” he said, grinning in a way that made me believe him. “My parents are cool. My mom was young when she had me so when we’d go hiking and rock climbing, she was right there with us like one of the kids. She’s a badass too. It’s why I don’t move off the property. What’s the point? I have my privacy and my neighbors are cool and they do my laundry and cook for me.”

  I smiled at him as our salads arrived. Cooper picked the tomatoes, croutons, and cucumbers out, but left the rest.

  “When is Tawny’s birthday?” Cooper asked.

  “In November.”

  “And yours was in January?” Frowning at him, I didn’t answer. Cooper finally grinned at my irritation. “I did my homework on you. Hoped your birthday was coming up so I could do something big and romantic. You chicks love that crap.”

  “Oh, we really do,” I said, smiling now as I ate my salad. “When’s your birthday?”

  “Beginning of December. I’m a Sag,” he said, as if I should be impressed. “What will you give me for my birthday?”

  “Probably something with me naked. Well, assuming I haven’t grown bored of you by then.”

  Leaning back in his chair, Cooper smiled. “I like the way you say naked. Makes me think of you naked.”

  “Big shock.”

  “I really want to see that.”

  “Well, let’s see how dinner goes first.”

  Cooper laughed a little then adjusted in his seat like he was uncomfortable. I knew why he was uncomfortable, but there was no way I was acknowledging it. He grinned wider when I ignored his discomfort.