Damaged and the Beast

by Bijou Hunter

  “Like I said, chicks lie.”

  “So do guys. I’m afraid I’ll be a fool believing you like me so much.”

  Cooper eased back into his chair and the rigidness left his jaw. “I’ll let it go because I know you have issues. I just don’t want you pretending because it’s real for me.”

  “I didn’t mean to act like it wasn’t for me. I’m just not used to attention from guys and you’re not an average guy. I feel like it’s a joke for you to like me.”

  Cooper’s dark eyes studied me then a little more irritation left his face. “You have those walls up and that’s why guys don’t make a move. When you’re too tired, the walls come down a little. Like the night at the party when guys were making moves. Even with you wearing that uniform, they wanted you. I think deep inside you know they do, but you like to pretend you’re undesirable. It makes you feel safe.”

  “Safe from what?” I asked, fearing his answer.

  “You’re alone here. Vulnerable. You need to feel in control because you aren’t in control. When Bailey feels out of her league, she gets loud and rude. You just shut down and put up all those walls. You can’t know how hot you were when you let one of the walls come down and told me about your dream to be a teacher. I’d never seen anything more beautiful.”

  Swallowing hard, I couldn’t respond. Wouldn’t respond with a trite thank you or I like you too. I just remained silent and ate the cannoli and hoped we could kiss later. I couldn’t believe I wanted to feel him against me, but I craved the closeness he promised. I also believed he wouldn’t push too far. He was waiting now. No matter his talk of tight jeans and medical attention, Cooper would wait.

  “I’m glad I couldn’t go into your parents’ house the other day,” I said as a lame way to admit how much I enjoyed myself.

  “Sometimes when Bailey lies, magic happens.”

  “I ate way too much.”

  “But it was good.”

  “It was great,” I said then took a deep breath to build up my courage. “My mom won’t be home for a while. We could sit and watch TV and do the heavy petting you mentioned.”

  Cooper stared at me expressionless. Finally, he shivered. “Took all of my self-control not to throw you over my shoulder and run back to your apartment. I’m good now though.”

  Smiling, I finished my drink. “Whenever you’re ready, I am.”

  “Girl, you know just the right things to say.”

  Cooper paid the check and soon we were back into the hot evening. He wrapped an arm around me as we walked to his truck and I inched closer so I was right next to him. Even without looking, I knew he liked that gesture. His breathing came out unsteady like he was fighting for control. Once we were in the truck, he lost it.

  I might have panicked at the suddenness of his kiss and how I was immediately wrapped in his strong arms. Despite his need, Cooper was gentle and I relaxed into the embrace. I understood him better now. At least, I hoped I did and wasn’t lying to myself because he was so beautiful.

  Cooper’s strong hands were in my hair, pulling me closer. His passion should have overwhelmed me, but something changed in the restaurant. I felt like he knew me and this gave me power. Bravely, I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my body along his.

  Moaning into my mouth, Cooper deepened his kisses. The hunger behind them intensified until my bravery felt insufficient. He wouldn’t stop and I wasn’t ready for him to take it all. He knew me and I had power, but it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t in the now with Cooper, but back to being Farah Smith.

  Fear shot through me and I tried to break free. Cooper knew I wanted him to let go. He felt my hands wedged between us, pushing him off, but he didn’t stop. Not right away. His kisses softened, but he didn’t let me go for another few minutes until I was nearly clawing at him to stop.

  There was a moment right then between us when I wanted to jump out of the truck and run away. His gaze challenging me, Cooper wasn’t teasing or horny. He was claiming me and my desires weren’t even on his radar. Now, we were on his timetable, not mine.

  Instead of running away, I put on my seatbelt and stared out the window. Cooper started the car, turned up the radio, and let it sink in how he was in charge. I’d shown him how important he was to me so he wouldn’t beg. Didn’t have to beg when I needed him more than he needed me.

  Fuck him!

  His friends, money, and affection were shit next to my dreams. I didn’t need him. I needed to be a teacher. I needed my sister. Being fucked by this asshole wasn’t even on the top hundred things I needed.

  Arriving at my apartment, Cooper looked for a spot to park, but I undid my seatbelt once we reached the entrance.

  “I had fun tonight. I’ll see you at school.”

  “Fuck,” he said, grabbing my arm before I jumped out of the still moving car. “You’re nuts.”

  “You’re an asshole.”

  “Yeah, but I’d rather be an asshole than a crazy bitch.”

  Cooper was right. I did need him because the moment he called me a crazy bitch all of my confidence was gone. With those few words and his dismissive expression, I felt like nothing. Of course, he would hurt me. It was what guys like him did.

  One of those silent moments passed where we just stared at each other. Cooper released my wrist and put the car into park. He didn’t turn it off though.

  “Tonight was fun. I’ll pick you up tomorrow to go swimming.”

  Cooper offered a truce. A deal where I got out of the heavy petting with him, but I still had to come to his house and run around half naked. I assumed this would lead to heavy petting. He’d just have to wait a day for it.

  “What time?” I said, feeling defeated and desperate to call Tawny.

  “Is ten too early?”

  Shaking my head, I opened the door. “Thank you for dinner.”

  “No goodbye kiss?” he muttered.

  “You got it back in the parking lot,” I said, slamming the door.

  When I heard Cooper pummeling the steering wheel, I couldn’t help smiling. I might need him, but I wouldn’t give him whatever he wanted. Or maybe I would just fuck him and get him away from me? Why was I wasting so much time pretending like he and I would be together when his needs were all in his pants?

  Once in my apartment, I decided I would sleep with Cooper that weekend. Get it over with then he could dump me and I’d move on with my life and focus on what mattered. Soon, I told my plan to Tawny.

  “What if you’re so good at it that he won’t dump you?” Tawny asked as we watched Paula Deen on TV.

  Laughing, I nearly dropped the phone. “Yeah, that’ll happen.”

  “You never know.”

  “You should see this guy. He’s the stud of the campus. He just needs to nail all of the freshman girls so he can say he’s ruined them for everyone else. He thinks he’s got mad skills.”

  “What kind of skills?”

  “I don’t know. I’m afraid to ask. I’m assuming just sex stuff.”

  “Ew. Yeah, I wouldn’t ask either,” Tawny teased. “So you got to eat Italian?”

  “Yeah, it was delicious and not super expensive. Well, with salads and desserts it was. If we just ordered the pasta and water, we could afford it occasionally.”

  “Cool. I can’t wait until I move there.”

  “Me either. Everything will be better once you’re here.”

  “I know this guy and those fake friends make you feel weird, but you should enjoy it while it lasts. Soon, you won’t need them, but right now, you’re alone. Might as well hang out with people.”

  “True.”

  “Plus, we love swimming. Just think about that and not how Cooper is an ass.”

  “True again.”

  “Are you really going to have sex with him tomorrow?”

  “I’m going to try. If he’s too mean, I probably won’t go through with it. If he’s half decent, I will so he’ll leave me alone.”

  “What’s so bad about the free food and stuf
f?” When I didn’t answer, Tawny sighed. “I know it’ll hurt when he dumps you, but you’re strong and beautiful. Other guys will like you and one of them won’t dump you.”

  “This is why I miss you. No one else understands and you always say the right things.”

  “I’ll work hard when I move there,” Tawny said, sounding very young suddenly. “I’ll work two jobs to help pay for things. We can get a one bedroom and I can sleep on the couch or the floor. I don’t care. I won’t complain.”

  “It’s okay, Tawny,” I said softly, trying to soothe her panic. “You’re the most important person to me and I need you here. We’ll make it work. Even if we end up living in a motel for a while, it’ll be fine as long as we’re together.”

  Tawny exhaled hard and I felt her calming herself. “I need to be with you. Hiding with Dad and not knowing what’ll happen next was easier when you were here.”

  “Maybe you should come now?”

  “What about Mom?”

  “If you move here, I’ll find a way to make things work.”

  “I don’t know exactly where I am though. I don’t know where to go to get to a bus, even if I had the money.”

  “Soon then.”

  “Soon,” she whispered.

  We watched another ten minutes of TV together then I had to hang up. Dealing with Cooper, school, fake friends, and my mother would be easier if I could talk to Tawny for more than fifteen minutes every few days. To settle my aching heart, I promised myself I would see her soon.

  Chapter Ten

  Before Cooper knocked, I opened the door and walked outside. He looked as edgy as I felt. Besides the edginess, Cooper looked hot. Wearing a wife beater over his strong chest plus faded jeans, he was hotter than I remembered. This was when I knew my mind was playing tricks on me.

  “So are you bailing? Is that what this is?” he muttered, staring angrily at me.

  “I have your number. If I wanted to bail, I would have called and told you to fuck off.”

  Cooper exhaled hard then looked around the courtyard. Returning his gaze to me, he shook his head. “Why is everything so difficult with you?”

  “Because you’re an asshole who makes me feel bad,” I said then added, “On purpose.”

  “You wanted me to kiss you. We had a nice dinner and you wanted to be close. I tried to be close and you punished me for it.”

  “Fuck you,” I whispered, stepping back against the door. “You knew what you were doing. You figured I liked you more than you liked me, so you could do whatever you wanted. I’m just trash.”

  “Fuck you back,” he growled. “There is no way in hell you like me more than I like you. If you did, you wouldn’t keep saying no.”

  “So fine, let’s just fuck today and get it over with. That way, you can get on with your life.”

  “Shit!” he yelled, walking halfway down the path before turning around and hurrying back. When he reached me, I flinched at the ferocity of his movements.

  “I want you so bad, but it’s not just sex. If it was, I’d fuck someone else and pretend she was you then flip you off and move on with my life. I tease you, but it’s not about sex. You fucking know that too.”

  “I don’t know anything,” I said, nervous now because I wondered if he might hurt me. Looking like he was ready to hit something, his hands flexed in and out of fists. “I was really happy after dinner. I wanted to bring you here and make out, but then you scared me. You did that on purpose to make me feel weak. Fine, I feel weak and I’m afraid of you.”

  Cooper glanced to his right at the sound of people talking. Looking back at me, he lost much of his irritation. “It’s hard being patient, okay?” he said in a needy voice.

  “Then, we’ll get it over with today and you won’t have to be patient anymore.”

  Cooper’s expression softened into a panicked, almost pained look. “I want all of you. Not just sex. I want you to take down all of your walls for me. It felt so fucking beautiful to see you a little better after you told me about Mrs. Prescott. I felt relieved, but also desperate. I want you to look at me like you did after you told me that story, but I have to wait. I get that.”

  “Sex will be another wall.”

  “We’re not having sex today,” he said, sighing. “You’re looking at me like I’m a piece of shit that’ll hit you. You actually look afraid of me. No way do you want to have sex and I’m not doing it unless you’re really giving yourself to me. No fake Farah shit. No walled up crap. I want the real you and the real you doesn’t want to have sex with me,” he muttered then added, “Today.”

  “Had to put in the disclaimer, huh?” I said, grinning slightly.

  “It was too painful not to put it in.”

  “I do want to go swimming.”

  “And spend time with me?” he asked, nudging me with his knee. “Throw me a bone here.”

  “And spend time with you. Until you got pushy, I was really excited to spend time with you. I’d like to be excited again.”

  Cooper again glanced towards the voices. Sensing he was irritated by any interruption, I stepped closer and took his hand.

  “Can we go?” I asked. “It’s getting hot.”

  When his soft gaze focused on my face, he smiled. “I brought the bike. Is that okay?”

  “No, now go home and get your truck and come back,” I said, grinning as I tugged him away from the neighbors who were getting louder. “Did you ask Bailey if I could wear her swimsuit?”

  Cooper nodded. “She’s really excited to have a poor friend. It makes her feel better about herself. Now, she’ll want to share shit all the time to give her life meaning.”

  “She’s young.”

  “Yes, but she won’t like how you’ll fill out the top of the swimsuit better than her. Get ready for bitchiness.”

  Glancing down at my small C-cup breasts, I frowned. “We’re around the same size.”

  “Not really. I’ve seen her go streaking before, so I know exactly what size she is. Bailey pads her bras.”

  “You shouldn’t tell people that.”

  “I’m not telling people,” he said, climbing onto his bike and grinning back at me. “I’m telling someone who is too nice to tell her what I said. If you were a bitch who’d make fun of her, I wouldn’t have told you. I can read people, remember?”

  Climbing on behind him, I smiled. “Read me now. What am I thinking?”

  “You’re thinking you hope we get hot and heavy today, but not too hot and heavy. You’re also hoping my parents like you. I also sense a little worry over how you’ll look in the swimsuit because you want me to think you’re hot, but you don’t want Bailey to think you’re too hot.”

  Hiding my face against his back, I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Not even close, Coop. Not by a long shot.”

  “Even without seeing your face, I know you’re lying. You’re just that bad at it.”

  “Whatever. Let’s go before I sweat through my clothes.”

  Cooper said nothing for so long that I twisted around his shoulder to see him. “What?”

  “I’m just thinking of you all wet. I needed a minute to get myself under control.”

  “Perv.”

  “Dork.”

  “Dipshit.”

  “Beauty.”

  “Sexy bastard.”

  “Hell yeah.”

  With that comment, he started his Harley. Tightening my hold around his waist, I felt his breath catch and knew he was having another horny moment. At this rate, he really would need medical attention soon.

  With the breeze cooling my skin, the drive to his house was relaxing. As we turned onto the road leading to his house, I realized I was genuinely happy. Despite his behavior the day before and even the way Cooper scared me earlier, I couldn’t stop smiling because I would spend the day with him.

  Pulling past the main house, Cooper parked next to the garage. His dogs watched him and waited for a signal. He didn’t give it to them though. Instead, he waited for me t
o climb off the bike. Joining me, he told the dogs to go away and they did grudgingly.

  “They want to slobber on you,” Cooper said. “I understand their pain.”

  Grinning, I glanced around. “Where do you live exactly?”

  “In the apartment above the garage. It’s private. You can scream as loud as you want without my parents hearing,” Cooper announced, giving me a naughty grin.

  “Are you threatening me?” I asked, squinting hard as if suspicious.

  “Bitch.”

  “Asshole.”

  “Hell, I want you naked so bad you can’t possibly know how much.”

  “That didn’t make much sense so I’m assuming too much blood left your brain for southern regions.”

  Cooper groaned, twisting around as if uncomfortable. “Should have worn looser jeans.”

  “Weirdo.”

  “Geek.”

  Laughing, I noticed a small blonde girl with wild wavy hair appear from the house. She wore a yellow summer dress and an AC/DC cap as she strutted towards us.

  “Hey, Sawyer.”

  “Is this your newest whore?” the little girl asked.

  Scooping Sawyer up, Cooper tossed her over his shoulder and spun around. The hat went flying and she screamed in horror and maybe a little joy. When Cooper lowered her onto his hip, she looked dizzy under her long hair.

  “This is Farah,” Cooper said, grinning. “She’s my girl. Don’t call her names.”

  “How come?”

  “Because she’s not a whore.”

  “How do you know? You test her out yet?”

  “Holy hell!” Cooper said, dipping her upside down. “Who is teaching you that shit?”

  “Fuckwad!” Sawyer screamed as Cooper set her on the ground gently. “He said good girls get rings and bad girls get STDs. I want a ring.”

  Rolling his eyes, Cooper sighed. “Tucker’s too stupid to know better. You aren’t so do yourself a favor and never listen to a word he says.”

  “She’s pretty. I like blondes better,” Sawyer said, eyeing me from head to toe.

  “No one is better than my girl,” Cooper said, giving me a quick kiss. “Is Mom around?”

  Sawyer screamed, “Mom” until a curly haired blonde woman appeared from the house wearing shorts and a Harley tank top. Her bare skin displayed an assortment of tattoos from skulls to butterflies. Her blue eyes were bright as she looked up at her son then down at her still screaming daughter.