Damaged and the Beast

by Bijou Hunter

  “What’s your middle name?” I asked when our lunches arrived.

  “I don’t have one. Pop doesn’t believe in them. Thinks they’re the man’s way of tracking people easier.”

  Even though I could tell Cooper was serious, I laughed. “Makes sense.”

  “What’s yours?” he asked, grinning.

  “Delta, after my grandma.”

  “The one who helped you get to New Hampton?” Once I nodded, Cooper leaned back and studied me. “When we have a girl, we should give her that middle name in honor of the woman who brought us together.”

  Gazes meeting, we shared this weird moment where we imagined a future beyond the next month. I realized Cooper needed reassurance that I saw him in my future.

  “I like the name Lily. Does that go with Delta?”

  Cooper gave me a cocky grin that said he had me hooked. “Lily Delta Johansson sounds perfect. Even if it didn’t, who the hell would complain? Our girl could be named something stupid like Apple and people would tell her it was awesome.”

  “But you’d prefer a boy, right? I mean to carry on the family business.”

  “Sure, but who says my sons would be smart enough? Tucker’s a fucking idiot, but Sawyer’s smart. Maybe Lily will be my heir? Maybe she’ll make men cry when she enters the room and not just because she’s hot like her mom.”

  “A real shitkicker, huh?”

  “Hell yeah.”

  Grinning, I took his hand. “I like the name Colton for a boy.”

  “That’s a man’s name for sure.”

  We smiled and something clicked. We weren’t Farah and Cooper dating. We were something else now. Feeling the change, I was suddenly more connected to this day instead of my ugly past. Cooper’s anxiety also faded.

  The rest of lunch was casual with Cooper telling me stories about his summers and all of the times he smacked Tucker upside the head. By the time we drove to the movie theater, I was beginning to wonder if Tucker’s stupidity was genetic or simply from Cooper’s roughhousing over the years?

  The moment we entered the theater and I smelled popcorn, I was in a state of euphoria. For so many years, Tawny and I talked about movies we wanted to see. First as kids then as teens, we would dream of saving up enough to go. Yet, our money always went into our parents’ pockets until I talked my dad into letting me keep my tips. Then, everything went into my nest egg. Plenty of times, I thought to take out a little money to splurge on my sister. Instead, I panicked at how I might waste too much and lose my chance at college. Now, I wished I had used the money to give Tawny more joy in her otherwise crap life.

  Cooper kept smiling at me and I finally realized I was grinning like a mad woman. I remembered how big and amazing everything felt when my grandma took me and Tawny. We had even gotten snacks and Tawny drowned our popcorn in butter. Giddy about how great this day was and at remembering the one with Tawny, I drowned a huge bucket of popcorn in the runny butter. When someone complained I was taking too long, Cooper gave the guy a look that shut him up. Soon, I finished and walked with Cooper to the theater showing an action film.

  Based on the time we arrived, our choices were a depressing drama or an action film with no plot and lots of explosions. It was a no brainer. Waiting for the film to begin, I kept laughing. Seeing me smiling so much, Cooper laughed too.

  “My girl is so fucking hot when she’s happy.”

  “Then, I must be super fucking hot right now.”

  “Hell yeah,” he said, kissing me so the buttery flavor in my mouth mixed with his Milk Duds.

  “Yum,” I mumbled when he let go.

  “You’re like a little kid.”

  “You can’t know how much this means to me.”

  “I’m getting a pretty good idea from the look on your face.”

  Leaning my head against his shoulder, I smiled at Cooper who watched me like I was amazing and could do no wrong. I felt the same way about him.

  The movie was stupid, yet really great. I was startled by how loud and bright everything seemed compared to when I was a kid. By the end, I would have been sad to leave except I could enjoy this kind of thing now. I was no longer under the thumb of my parents who always had other uses for our money. Even if I didn’t have the money, Cooper clearly planned to make the movie thing a habit. He was even talking about what to see the next weekend as we walked out of the theater.

  After a quick stop at Whiskey Kirk’s to pick up my notes from Tucker, we drove to my apartment. Amy was inside with Tex and they were clearly fooling around when we entered. Like two kids caught by their parents, they played it cool, but kept giggling.

  Amy had made it obvious over the last few weeks how she wasn’t interested in knowing me. She certainly didn’t want me asking questions about her life. Questions like why was there always beer in the refrigerator if she in AA? Or where did she stay until late at night, only to stagger in for a few hours of sleep before stumbling to work the next day? Those were questions for her life and I wasn’t part of it. I was simply the reason she had a nicer apartment. Oh, and I might be the reason she was drinking again because as she told Tex one night while I was trying to sleep, “Kids make life harder.”

  While Cooper waited in the living room, I packed up more clothes and necessities. I thought I heard his voice, but when I returned, everyone was silent. Yet, I knew he’d said something.

  “Your boyfriend is a real prize,” Amy muttered, disappearing into her bedroom with Tex following close behind.

  Tex didn’t even glance at me and I suspected he would never get caught looking at me. Not unless he wanted Cooper’s fist colliding with his face. With the drama kept to a minimum, I took Cooper’s hand and left the apartment.

  When we arrived at the steakhouse, neither of us was really hungry after pigging out at the theater. Instead, we sat quietly in a nice booth by a window for decent lighting. For nearly an hour, we both focused on our required reading while people ate and talked around us. I loved how oblivious we were to everyone else. Yet, when a few rough looking men arrived, Cooper switched positions with me without speaking. Soon, I was snuggly in the corner of the booth with him blocking me. Smiling, I kissed him softly then returned to my reading.

  After an amazing steak dinner where we ate so much that I was afraid to see the bill, Cooper watched me with a grin.

  “It’s been a great day, right?”

  “The best. I’m starting to get used to have amazing days with you.”

  “The fair is here. The whole family is going and we’re meeting Skye.”

  “I’ve never been to a fair.”

  “Fuck,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure you’ve checked off a list of fun shit to do.”

  “I really do love you, Coop. It’s not fake or because you chase me or any of that. It’s real and I never want to let you go.”

  Cooper smiled wider. “That was hard to admit, wasn’t it, baby?”

  “Yep. What if you suddenly changed your mind and ditched me?”

  “Still here and I always will be.”

  Cuddling against him, I wanted to go back to his apartment. The one bedroom tiny space felt like home now. A place where Cooper and I belonged and no one could interfere, not even bad memories.

  “I really want you,” I said, caressing his leg and making him sigh. “I feel a little logy from the huge dinner though, so I might lay there and let you do all the work.”

  “After watching you touch yourself, I think I can merely close my eyes, think of that, and instantly come. I doubt you’ll need to do much.”

  “If you do feel like you need more help, I could touch myself again.”

  “Shit,” he groaned, grabbing the bill. “We’re leaving.”

  Grinning, I packed my school supplies while he hurried the waitress to charge his card. Once the bill was paid, I followed him out the door.

  Teasing Cooper the whole way home, I nearly climbed into his lap at one point. He loved it, but
regretted not wearing sweatpants. Even though he was so horny that he nearly ripped off his clothes Hulk-style as soon as we were in his apartment, Cooper was careful. After our redneck fuck where he released hours of pent-up need, he slowed down and teased me until I was again seconds from an orgasm.

  While I never pushed past the wall, I also didn’t have bad dreams. We fooled around for a solid hour with another half hour of cuddling. Finally, there was one last round after I made the mistake of grazing Cooper’s cock with my hand. Then, we were asleep and I dreamed of building a house in the river. I dreamed of pigging out at a trough. I dreamed of all kinds of silly things, but my mind never returned to Travis and the week with his friends.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The Westfield County Fair was a big deal in Ellsberg. Students and faculty talked about it all week and everyone I knew planned to enjoy the rides, food, music, and atmosphere. Even though I had agreed to pick up shifts over the weekend, Cooper had a conversation with Arnie who miraculously remembered how someone with more seniority asked for the shifts. Now, I was able to attend the fair.

  Irritation felt like the right response to someone controlling my choices, but I really wanted to go to the fair. Plus, Cooper gave me a great Friday and I knew he would be bummed if I refused to go to the fair with him. He was like a kid wanting to show me everything he loved. His favorite corndog. His favorite chili. His favorite rides. The band he heard when he was a kid, now consisting of senior citizens. He told me how he sat on his dad’s shoulders, eating cotton candy while they played. Cooper shared it all with me and I loved every moment.

  As we sat on the top of the Ferris wheel, Cooper suddenly laughed.

  “What?” I asked.

  “You look like a little kid. The expression on your face is killing me.”

  “I was just thinking how you were so excited like a boy, instead of a man.”

  To prove he was all man, Cooper’s gaze locked on my chest. “The girls jiggle in the best way every time the car jerks to a stop.”

  “You’re so horny.”

  “You can’t know how much.”

  Laughing, I glanced around, realized we were high up enough for no one to see, and caressed his crotch. I found him as hard as I expected.

  “One day, when I’m super normal about sex,” I whispered, “I’m going to do very wicked things with you up here. Then, more wicked things down there and over there. I’m going to sex you up all over the fair. Unfortunately, I’m not normal yet so you’ll have to live with snug pants.”

  “Bitch,” he said, grinning.

  “Jackass.”

  “God, you’re fucking hot,” he muttered, removing my hand. “I’m going to jizz my pants at this rate and my mom is probably watching. Don’t tease me and ruin the lie I tell her about being a virgin.”

  The very idea of him being a virgin sent us into hysterics. Laughing so hard that we still hadn’t gotten ourselves under control when it was our turn to get off, we stumbled from the ride.

  “Virgin,” I whispered, rolling my eyes.

  “I don’t remember a girl before you.”

  “Bullshit.”

  Cooper paid for a pink heart-shaped balloon then handed it to me. “Fine, I have vague memories, but they fade every day I spend with you.”

  “More bullshit.”

  Pulling me to a stop, Cooper caressed my cheek. “When we broke up for that day, I saw this girl who has great tits. I never knew what the rest of her looked like, but the chick has banging tits. When I saw her that day, I didn’t even notice her tits and trust me they were probably right out there for me to notice. It was the first time I noticed she was a redhead. That’s how much I love you. I’m noticing girls’ hair colors and personalities and shit.”

  “I find this confession oddly romantic.”

  Cooper’s grin widened then he saw someone and his smile was gone. I tried to turn to look the direction he was staring, but he held me in place.

  “Do you think about other guys?” he asked, holding me still.

  “No. Who are you looking at?”

  By the time Cooper let me turn, whoever he was irritated at had disappeared into the crowd. I glanced at him and frowned.

  “Who?”

  “You love me so it doesn’t matter.”

  “I do love you.”

  Cooper’s smile was back. “I have a surprise for you later, but first I need to ditch you with Bailey and the girls.”

  “Ditch me?” I asked full of disappointment.

  Cooper wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Just for lunch then I’ll meet back up with you and we’ll have more fun.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “You know I’m not telling so why ask?”

  “Because I don’t want you to leave and I’m hoping that if I seem clingy enough you’ll stay.”

  “Not working, but it’s really sexy how you’re trying.”

  Rolling my eyes, I saw how we were nearing one of the food tents. Skye stood next to Bailey who was counting out a wad of cash without any concern for someone stealing from her. Maddy sat at a picnic table nearby, looking lonely without Tucker. I knew how she felt.

  “How long will you be gone?” I asked just to make very clear how I didn’t enjoy getting ditched.

  “As long as it takes. When I get back, I’ll kiss you until you can’t stand.”

  “Stop with the threats. I’ll miss you even if you’re a jerk.”

  Cooper laughed then gave me a long sloppy kiss until his sister heckled him from the tent. When his lips left mine, he smiled then walked backwards for a few steps before disappearing into the crowd.

  I joined the girls who were arguing over what to eat. Tacos made them fart. Burgers made them fat. Chili made them fart. Hot dogs made them fat. It dragged on like that for a while before fattening won over farting.

  Eating our burgers at the picnic table, we could hear a band playing from the other side of the food tents. At first, we didn’t speak, just enjoying the music. The whole time, Maddy held a piece of paper in her left hand while eating with her right. Bailey finally snagged the note away.

  “Don’t,” Maddy muttered, but she didn’t put up much of a fight. No one ever did with Bailey. “It’s from Tucker.”

  “A Dear Joan letter?” Bailey asked, barking with laughter. “Oh, gross, it’s a poem.”

  Skye leaned over, took a second to read it, and laughed. “It’s a really bad poem.”

  “He was drunk when he wrote it,” Maddy said, crossing her arms tightly. “I think it’s sweet. He calls me his flower.”

  “Original,” Skye said, sitting back in her seat and playing with a fry.

  Bailey rolled her eyes and returned the paper to Maddy. “Tucker doing his drunken poetry shit is as expected as Cooper and his singing during sex. Man, it’s nasty how much I know about my brothers’ love lives. Of course, between them, they’ve fucked everyone I know. Cooper alone has fucked every girl I’ve been friends with except for you two,” she said, motioning towards Skye and Maddy.

  “Sings?” I asked, ignoring the part where every girl I met was someone who had spent time with Cooper inside them.

  Maddy smiled. “Hair of the Dog.”

  “I don’t know that song.”

  “Don’t go messing…” Bailey began.

  “With a son of a bitch,” Skye finished then they high fived.

  “Oh.”

  “He doesn’t sing it with you?” Bailey asked like maybe I would be dumped any minute and she should start saying goodbye.

  “No. Not yet anyway. Why would he sing though?”

  “It’s like a countdown,” Skye said, laughing.

  Even smiling, I felt weird now. Why hadn’t Cooper sung to me like he’d sung to the billions of girls he’d nailed before?

  “You two have had sex, right?” Skye asked, suspicious now, though still laughing.

  “Oh, they have,” Bailey announced. “When they weren’t, Cooper worked out with weights so muc
h I thought his arms would fall off. Now, he’s calm. Though he could be calmer.”

  Again, I smiled awkwardly because there was nothing like having your friend encouraging you to fuck her brother more.

  “Maybe you’re special,” Maddy said, rubbing her tiny baby bump. “Tucker treats me different than the other girls.”

  “Doesn’t come in your face then?” Bailey asked, causing Maddy to glare at her.

  “Whatever,” Maddy said, ignoring Bailey now. “The point is when Cooper sang to those other girls, he was telling them their time in the sun was almost over. Maybe he doesn’t want you to leave?”

  Bailey and Skye watched me like they figured I was on my way out. I sensed they might be sad about this fact, meaning they really liked me and weren’t enduring me on Cooper’s orders.

  “Tucker and I started talking names,” Maddy said, breaking up the awkward silence. “We went shopping for baby stuff, just looking mostly, and he got super psyched. Now, we’re big time looking for baby names.”

  “If I have a boy, I’m naming him Steele,” Bailey explained. “For a girl, it’ll be something tough like Ryan or Logan. I don’t want my girls having sissy names.”

  “Fuck that,” Skye muttered, slurping her drink. “If I could get a guy to agree, I’d name my girls Princess and Precious. For a boy, I’d name him something cute like Axe.”

  “Axe can play with Steele,” Bailey said, grinning. “They’ll grow up nailing chicks together.”

  “What about you?” Maddy asked me. “You ever think baby names?”

  “Sure, but I’ve never really settled on any,” I lied, feeling protective of my names.

  “I’m thinking a flower name for a girl,” Maddy said and I nearly sighed with exasperation. “Tucker wants something like Scarlett or Delilah.”

  “Those all sound good,” I mumbled awkwardly, just hoping no one stole Lily or Colton.

  “Having a baby young is cool,” Maddy said, watching me as Skye and Bailey checked out a few passing guys. “I’m still going to finish school eventually. That way my kids will take education seriously. I don’t really want a job though. Not one out of the house anyway. I like babies.” When I said nothing, Maddy squinted at me. “Don’t you like babies?”