by Bijou Hunter
“I don’t give a shit what you think Amy’s done,” he said, hands out as if to reason with me. “You never hit your mom. That just ain’t right.”
“You selfish bitch!” I screamed, jumping back up. “You let them take us to save your fucking ring!”
“Like you cared! I saw you licking your lips, getting ready for them! Where do you think they got the idea to take you? From you giving off all your whore signals!”
When I ran for her again, Tex grabbed me around the waist and held me back.
“You’re trash!” I screamed. “You’re a loser! It’s why Grandma hates you! You embarrass her!”
“You’re no better! You were always a fuckup! Whining about wanting this or that! Feeling sorry for yourself! What about me? I lost your dad because you played up the victim bullshit, but we both know you loved every moment with those dirty bikers! You were born to be a whore! Both you and Tawny! Why do you think you like that Johansson boy so much?”
Yanking free of Tex, I fixed my hair and held up my head. “I’m moving out. When Grandma asks why, I’ll tell her you stole my money. Let’s see whose side she takes.”
Knowing Amy was forever seeking her mother’s approval, I also knew how much it hurt to realize your parents would never really love you. Now, she could explain to my grandmother how she fucked up once again.
Walking to my bedroom, I shoved my clothes into the suitcase I brought with me only a month earlier. My hands were shaking so badly I kept dropping things, but I couldn’t stop moving. I needed to get out of the apartment and away from the bitch.
My mind was on reporting the theft when Amy stepped into the doorway. Glancing at her, I knew what she planned before she even moved. Instead of backing away, I met her halfway and landed a punch just as she did. We both staggered then I ran at her and shoved her against the wall.
“What?” I screamed in her face. “You can’t stop yourself from fucking up, can you? It’s in your blood to screw up everything you touch!”
“Fat bitch!”
Every time my mother pushed off the wall to attack me, I shoved her again. I wanted to tear her apart, but something held me back. What if I hurt her seriously and went to jail? What if she continued to ruin my life forever by giving me a record? I needed to follow the rules so I didn’t beat on her like she deserved.
Ready to break up our struggle, Tex appeared and I assumed he would take his bitch and leave. Instead, he punched me square in the face. Falling against the wall, I saw stars and my nose gushed blood. Once Tex nailed me, Amy hooted in triumph. Jumping around excitedly, she kicked me in the gut as I tried to stand.
Fuck the rules, I thought, lunging for her. Before we hit the ground, I started punching wildly. My moves were frantic, but I made the bitch bleed before Tex yanked me back by my hair and threw me against the dresser. Smashing into the mirror, I toppled onto the floor as he stood large over me. Tex wasn’t Cooper, but he had a solid six inches and maybe sixty pounds on me. Yet, I had a shard of broken mirror in my hand.
Waving it at him, I screamed as loudly as I could without blowing out my lungs. Tex actually covered his fucking ears like a sissy kid. Amy rolled onto her knees, finally getting to her feet. She threw the alarm clock at me, but her aim was off and it smashed into the wall.
Once my scream ended, I moved towards the door. “Someone’s called the cops by now. If you don’t move out of my way, the police will find your corpses when they get here.”
“I’m going to kill you, Farah,” Amy said with complete sincerity.
“No, bitch, you’re going to run and hope you’re faster than Cooper. Knowing your tendency to fuck up, you won’t get very far. Now, back off.”
The banging on the front door startled Tex who looked ready to grab the mirror shard. The bastard still thought he could fix things, but it was too late. My face was a mess and I had bled all over my clothes. There was no way Tex could sell this was an accident or misunderstanding.
“I’ve called the cops!” a booming voice said through the door as I passed by Tex and Amy. Grabbing my backpack, I opened the door to find a neighbor looking freaked out. “What the hell?” he said, likely worrying someone other than me had a weapon.
“Did you really call the cops?” I asked, slamming the door and hurrying towards the parking lot. “Shit, I don’t have my phone.”
Going back wasn’t an option then the guy said the only thing I wanted to hear. “I called Johansson. He’s on his way.”
Thanking him, I suggested he return to his apartment just in case Amy and Tex decided to do something stupid. Stumbling to the front of the complex, I found a spot to hide.
From the very first day, no matter how much Cooper scared me or pissed me off, I knew he was mine. Please let him come for me, I begged while waiting between two cars and cradling my face in my lap.
The sound of an approaching motorcycle electrified my whole body, but I didn’t look up. There were plenty of bikers around here. No need to get excited or disappointed. Just wait for Cooper and he’ll come. When the bike stopped a few feet from me, I ran to him because the world was ugly everywhere except in his arms. Cooper was my home.
“Fuck,” he growled, getting off his bike to look at my face.
“She stole my money,” I sobbed, knowing he would understand. “She stole my nest egg.”
So angry he was shaking, Cooper started pulling away. “Her boyfriend did that to your face? I’m going to fucking kill him.”
“Coop!” I yelled, yanking at his shirt. “I need you. Kill the piece of shit later. Right now, I need to get away from here. I hate that bitch and I need to leave.”
As Cooper’s gaze focused on the complex, I felt his rage. He wanted retribution, but he finally looked at me as I tugged him back towards the bike.
“I love you and I need to get out of here.”
I love you. Cooper heard those words and his anger shifted into the needy gaze I saw from him too often lately.
“That piece of shit will bleed,” he growled, climbing on the Harley. “Where do you want to go?”
“I don’t care. I just want to get away from here and keep going until…” Wrapping my arms around him, I sighed. “I needed you and you came.”
When Cooper looked back at me, the raw pain and rage in his eyes made me shiver. “Hold on, baby.”
Nuzzling my bloody face against his back, I closed my eyes and soaked in the heat of his body. With Cooper, I was safe and loved and my future still had meaning.
We rode for a long time, but I just held on and listened to his heart beating over the katydids singing in the woods. The snap of thunder awoke me from the dreamy state I fell into after too long on the road. By the time the droplets splashed down on us, I was ready to pull over somewhere and rest. Cooper found a Denny’s at a roadside stop with a few nearby hotels and a store or two.
Cooper’s face was a mask of anger, hard and unyielding, as he helped me off the bike. Hurrying under the awning, I saw a crack in the rage while he examined my face.
“You should be untouchable,” he whispered, more to himself than me. “This shouldn’t have happened.”
“They’re stupid people and you can’t fix stupid.”
Cooper didn’t smile. Just stared out at the pouring rain.
“Can we eat?” I asked, trying to distract him.
“Yeah, baby,” he muttered, more interested in revenge than food.
We walked into the restaurant and were seated by a young waitress who avoided looking at my face. The waitress who came to take our order wasn’t as squeamish.
“Are you okay, hon?” she asked while refusing to look at Cooper.
“My mom’s boyfriend hit me,” I said, hoping she believed me.
The waitress nodded. “Want me to get you some ice for your face?”
“That would be great.”
After she walked away, I looked at Cooper who stared out the window at the rain-soaked parking lot.
“I am going to lay wast
e to that asshole,” he whispered. “Don’t try to stop me either.”
Climbing out of my side of the booth, I noticed Cooper’s expression change to panic as if I might leave. Instead, I scooted in next to him.
“I saved for three years for my nest egg,” I told him, my hand on his chest. “No movies. No snacks after school with Tawny. No new clothes so I could fit in with other kids. I saved every penny I made in tips so I would have a safety net when I got to school. So many times Tawny wanted to do something fun. Something not even expensive, but I told my little sister no every time so I could keep my nest egg. Three years of doing without, just so my mom and her loser boyfriend could piss it away on a weekend at the casinos.” I paused to wipe my eyes. “I don’t care what you do to either of them. If they disappeared off the face of the earth, I wouldn’t care. I earned that money and I made my sister go without and it meant shit to my mom. Fuck her and that turd she spreads for.”
Cooper held my gaze. “We’re bringing Tawny here.”
“I love you,” I said, believing his words. “I missed you so much and I don’t want to miss you anymore.”
Cooper nodded then glanced at the restrooms. “Why don’t you clean up before our food comes?”
Giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, I figured I looked like crap and he was having trouble calming down with me bleeding. After washing my face in the bathroom, I surveyed the damage. I’d have two black eyes for sure. My nose looked swollen, but not broken. My teeth were intact. My face throbbed, but I’d gotten lucky. No major damage. Not even the worst beating I’d suffered that year.
Returning to the booth, I sat next to Cooper, needing to be close. When he handed me his phone, I saw my bank account information was pulled up. Before I could ask how he accessed my account, I noticed my nest egg was back.
“Did the lady get it wrong?” I asked, feeling in bizarroland.
“You deserve that money,” Cooper said, staring outside again. “You earned it.”
“Coop…”
“No, listen,” he said, looking back at me. “I need you, Farah. I want you to say yes to me, but if you don’t have that money, I’ll never be sure if you said yes because you want me or because you need me.”
“I do need you. No one makes me feel like you do.”
Cooper nodded. “I want you back, but I need you to promise me something.”
Frowning, I realized he wasn’t taking me back and his condition made me nervous.
“I’ll probably mess up again,” he said, rolling a napkin hard in his fist. “I love you and I’m perfect about most things, but I mess up with you. I get too loud or rude or angry and I scare you. I mess up and you always run. I want you to promise you won’t run anymore. If I make you mad or scare you, punish me. Ignore me, cold shoulder, withhold sex, call me names, whatever, but don’t run away. Don’t leave me and make my heart hurt like it does when I’ve lost you. Can you promise me that?”
“Promise I’ll never leave you, no matter what you do?”
“I won’t cheat. I won’t hit you. I won’t hit some guy because you’re talking to him. But, yeah, I talk out my ass sometimes and I don’t think about how it sounds to you. When I act like a jerk, you need to deal with me, but don’t run. I can’t chase you anymore because every time I get you back, I feel nervous like I’ll lose you again. I need to feel secure in us. I seem to have all of the power, but you give me a lot too. Without you, I feel like things make no sense. Like they don’t fit anymore and I can’t live like that. You have the power to rip me apart and I need you to promise you won’t hurt me even though I accidentally hurt you. I promise I’ll never do it on purpose, but I need you to promise too.”
Twisting around in the booth, I sat on my knees and took his face into my hands.
“The whole reason I wanted Nick was because I had this fantasy in my head about who I am and what kind of life would make me happy. A nice guy wouldn’t have known what to do with me when I cried during sex. He wouldn’t have pushed my buttons or helped me break down my walls. I was in love with a fantasy for so long, but what I feel for you is real. I wanted a normal guy, but I’m not normal. You make everything wrong with me feel right. Like my crazy is okay. Like my damage doesn’t ruin me. I wanted safe and you seemed dangerous, but with you, I feel safer than I have my whole life. You do that for me in a way no other guy could.”
After kissing him softly on the lips, I pulled back and smiled.
“And you’re a jerk sometimes. You act like a beast with no rules and I need to accept you the way you accept me. I do most of the time, but sometimes I run because I think away from you is safer. Today, I knew I could only feel safe when I was with you. Not because you kick ass or have money. I just knew you would understand what that money meant to me because you understand me. Besides Tawny, you’re the only person who’s ever loved me like I needed to be loved. I promise I won’t run anymore, Cooper.”
The smile he gave me set my heart thumping hard and I could barely breathe when he kissed me softly. Expecting more heat from his embrace, I frowned at his tenderness. Was he angry with me? When his gaze lingered over my face, I knew he was studying the swelling and bruising.
“You love me,” I said. “I make you nuts.”
“Hell yeah, you do,” he replied then added softer, “You’re my girl and we’re making one hell of a life together.”
Cuddling closer, I felt like the crap of the day was gone. I was starting over right this moment. I was no longer the Farah always wanting what she couldn’t have. Or the Farah who came to college pretending she was the person she hoped to be, instead of the person she truly was. I was just Farah Smith. The daughter of losers, I loved Cooper, missed my little sister, dreamed of being a teacher, and would fuck the rules when necessary. I was still a nerd in some ways, but I’d be that nerd on my own terms. Not to please anyone else. Not to be anyone else. I was me and fuck anyone who didn’t like it.
I knew Cooper liked it as he grinned down at me. “I texted Tucker,” he said after our food arrived. “Told him to find that bastard who hurt you and make sure he didn’t run. Also, told him to move out all your stuff. You’re not going back to that place.”
“Good. I never want to see the apartment or my mom again.”
Cooper grinned. “I love when you get feisty.”
“Will we drive home in the rain?” I asked, glancing outside.
“There’s a hotel next door. We could stay overnight after picking up a few things at the convenience store. You’ll need pain meds soon and we’ll hang out here until the storm passes. Then, we’ll drive home.”
“I’m living in your apartment?”
“Unless you want to live somewhere else?”
Thinking about it, I really didn’t want to be anywhere without Cooper.
“I belong with you, but what about Tawny?” I asked, finally pulling myself away from him so I could eat my burger.
“She’ll stay with us once she gets here.”
“At your parents’ house because there’s no real space at the apartment?”
“We’ll need to get a new place together. A fresh start somewhere with space for Tawny.”
“Really?” I asked, staring in an overly excited way.
Giving me a gentle smile, he kissed my forehead. “Really, baby. I want to start over in a nice comfortable way. I want you to feel safe. I want your sister to feel that way too. As long as you feel good about stuff, I’ll feel good too.”
“I’m not going to leave you. I promise.”
Still smiling, Cooper nodded. “I didn’t want to get your hopes up just yet, but my guy thinks he might have a handle on Tawny’s whereabouts. He’s tracking her down now.”
“What happens when he finds her though? My dad won’t let her leave when she’s seventeen and can still bring in money.”
Cooper gave me an angry frown. “How did someone so amazing come from such shit stock? Man, your parents are evil fucks.” Sighing, he cracked his neck. “My guy
can handle your dad. He’ll grab Tawny when she’s alone and bring her here. Your dad can come looking for her if he wants, but that would be a mistake on his part. I’m not in the mood to put up with anyone messing with you.”
Leaning against him, I smiled. “You are nice. The nicest boy ever.”
Cooper laughed. “I’ve got many talents.”
Soon, we ate in silence, though Cooper did give the waitress a hundred dollars to run to the pharmacy up the road and buy me pain medicine. By the time we finished eating, she had returned and I downed four Tylenols as my face really started to hurt.
The hotel next door was pretty high scale and we had a room with a king sized bed. Once we entered, I peeled off my wet shirt and headed for the shower. I expected Cooper to follow, but he stood at the door, staring at the ground.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, returning to him.
“I pride myself on protecting those I love, but look at what happened to you.”
Caressing his damp arm, I sighed. “You can’t control what everyone does. Amy and her dick are reckless people. You being scary wasn’t enough for them to care. They’re the kind of people who think they‘ll always make it out fine. They’ll win at the casinos. They’ll pay off the loan shark. They’ll just squeeze by all the trouble they bring on themselves. You can’t reason with them.”
Cooper gave me a weak smile. “I thought you were so prissy when we met and I wondered how you could ever fit into my life, but you understand a loser’s bullshit in a way maybe I can’t because I’ve had it too easy,” he said, pulling off his shirt. “I’m not alone at the top after all. I have you.”
“You’ll always have me.”
Kissing me gently but thoroughly, Cooper claimed me before stripping down. Both cold from sitting wet through dinner, we warmed inside the hot shower and were soon goofing around in bed. As Cooper sat against the headboard, I inched down until I had his cock in my hand.
When I licked the head, he inhaled hard and frowned. “If you think you’ll cry, just stop. Don’t push yourself.”
“Roger that,” I said, giving him a wink.
