New York, Actually

by Sarah Morgan

  “I’m getting that.” Mark handed her more tissues. “It’s great. It’s all good.”

  “It’s better than good.” And then she remembered the look on his face as he’d left her apartment. “I have to tell him. I have to tell him.” She grabbed her purse and fumbled for her phone. “I’ve been stupid, so stupid. I have to tell him that he was right and I was wrong.”

  She called him, but the call went to voice mail.

  “He isn’t answering. Why isn’t he answering? What if he’s alone and miserable somewhere? I’ll call the office.” She paced, thinking. “No, that would embarrass him. I’ll call Fliss.” She did that, but Fliss’s phone went to voice mail, too.

  Was she comforting her brother?

  Anxiety shot through her. What had she done?

  “I’ve messed it up. The first relationship in my life that has truly mattered to me, and I’ve messed it up. I told him to leave. He said all those amazing things to me and I threw them back as if they didn’t mean anything. As if they weren’t important. I told him I didn’t love him. That he was wrong.” Molly grabbed her bag and shot toward the door, knocking over the glass of water.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I don’t know. To try and find him. I’ll go to his apartment. Then I’ll go to his sisters’ apartment. Someone has to know where he is.” She walked to the door, knocking into the table on the way and sending a few of Mark’s drawings flying.

  “Don’t worry, I’ve got this.” Mark rescued them and guided her the rest of the way so that she could reach the door without injury.

  Twenty-Two

  There was no answer from his apartment, nor from Fliss and Harriet’s.

  Frantic, Molly kept calling, wondering why none of them were answering their phones.

  She’d keep trying. That was all she could do.

  In the meantime she’d do what she always did when she needed to clear her head. She’d go for a walk in the park.

  Valentine kept checking on her, glancing over his shoulder and wagging his tail, sensing her anxious mood.

  “I’ve made a terrible mess of things,” Molly told him. “And I don’t know how to fix it, but I have to find a way. Even if I’m too late, I have to at least tell him that he was right. I can fall in love! I’m not like my mother! He’s shown me that and even if it doesn’t work out—” She swallowed. It was ironic that finally she’d fallen in love and she’d realized too late.

  Was it too late?

  There was only one way to find out and that was to talk to him, and that wasn’t proving easy. What if he was screening her calls?

  Maybe she should email. No. Too impersonal. Make an appointment at his office? No. Too stalker-like. She’d call one more time. And then she’d stop embarrassing herself because she didn’t want to turn into one of those women who dialed the same number until the guy had thirty-five missed calls.

  “Last time.” She stooped to hug Valentine. “If he doesn’t pick up this time then I’ll back off.” Straightening, she pulled her phone out of her pocket.

  She called his number, her palms so sweaty the phone almost slid from her hand.

  This time it rang instead of going to voice mail and suddenly she felt light-headed again.

  What if he didn’t answer? What if he’d decided that she wasn’t worth the trouble?

  Somewhere in the distance she heard a phone ringing, but she ignored it until she heard someone calling her name.

  Daniel.

  Daniel was calling her name.

  He was here?

  She turned, confused, and saw him sitting on the bench. Their bench. Holding his phone. For a moment she thought she was hallucinating. Lack of sleep. Something.

  But Valentine bounded over to him happily and she realized she wasn’t conjuring him up from the depths of her imagination.

  He really was here.

  She hadn’t prepared exactly what she was going to say and now that she was with him in person everything vanished from her head.

  As she moved closer she saw he looked even rougher than he had earlier. Whatever he’d done after he left her, it clearly hadn’t involved going home and getting rest. Or going to the office.

  He looked shaken. No, worse than that. Devastated?

  It horrified her. She felt as if her heart was being crushed. “Daniel?”

  “Did Fliss call you?” He slid his phone back into his pocket, his voice scratchy and raw. “It was good of you to come. I appreciate it. The more people who are here, the better.”

  He wasn’t making sense. He wanted to talk to her in front of an audience? She was hoping for something a little more private.

  “I haven’t spoken to Fliss. Maybe we should go back to my apartment. Or your apartment.”

  “No.” His gaze shifted from her to the park. “He doesn’t know his way there. He’s probably lost, but I thought it was worth coming here in case he remembered this bench. The others are searching the other side of the park. And the road.”

  “The road? Searching for what?”

  He dragged his gaze from the trees to her face. “Brutus. What else? I’m grateful to you for coming to help with the search, especially since I know what I said upset you.”

  Search?

  Slowly his words sank in. “You’re looking for Brutus? He’s missing?”

  “You didn’t know? The people who were thinking of adopting him let him off the lead. He didn’t come back.” He sounded exhausted. “This was last night, but they only called Harriet this morning. We’ve been searching for hours. There’s no sign of him.”

  “I didn’t know. No one called me.”

  “I guess they thought you had enough going on. But if no one called you why are you here?”

  “I’ve been calling you and calling you. When you didn’t answer I called Fliss and Harriet. I’ve been to your apartment and theirs—”

  “We were all searching for Brutus. You couldn’t get through on the phone because we were all talking to each other.” He frowned. “Why were you calling?”

  Now that the moment had come, she felt shaky. “It doesn’t matter—it can wait.”

  “No. It can’t wait. If it was enough to make you turn up at my apartment, then I want to know what it was.”

  “We should be looking for Brutus—”

  “We’ve searched the park and there’s been no sign of him. No one has reported an unattended dog. All we can do is wait and keep looking. I keep hoping he might show up here, at our bench.” He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. “You had a tough night. I’m sorry I made it worse. I was wrong to say what I said.”

  “You weren’t wrong, but I was.”

  He sat up and turned to face her. “You were?”

  This wasn’t how she’d planned on telling him, but she’d given up trying to find the right way or even the best way. “I was wrong about all of it. I was wrong to send you away. I was wrong about not wanting you to love me. And it turns out I was wrong about not being able to fall in love.” Her mouth was dry, and she wished she’d taken the time to bring her usual bottle of water. “The reason I know that is because I’m in love with you. The first time in my life I wasn’t actually trying to fall in love, I fell in love. And because I wasn’t trying to make it happen I didn’t even know it was happening. I didn’t recognize it, but you did. I love you.” She couldn’t believe that words she’d never said before could be so easy to say. “I love you. And I was trying to work out how to tell you. I didn’t know whether to call and do it on the phone, or write to you, or—”

  He didn’t give her a chance to say all the other things she wanted to say. His mouth came down on hers, his kiss demanding and layered with more than a touch of desperation. He yanked her against him and her last coherent thought was one of gratitude that he hadn’t changed his mind. That he still felt everything he’d felt earlier that morning.

  She didn’t know whether to laugh with joy or cry with relief. She gave up trying to speak
and let herself go, hurtling into the kiss. She slid her fingers into the silk of his hair, stroked her palm over his rough jaw, whispered breathless words of love against his seeking mouth. And now she’d said the words once, she couldn’t stop saying them.

  “Love you, love you, love you—”

  And he said the same words back to her, his hands in her hair, his mouth urgent on hers. She felt the heat in his kiss, and other things, too. Sweetness, sincerity, security. And still he kissed her, words punctuated by greedy kisses until speaking stopped being a priority.

  It felt as if they kissed forever, and when he finally lifted his head, he still didn’t release her. Instead he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin in her hair.

  “I was sure you loved me, but then I kept thinking I must have been wrong.”

  “You weren’t wrong. And I’m so happy about that. You have no idea how happy. I was scared there was something missing in me.” She lifted her hand and touched his face.

  “I never want you to be scared. Or sad.” He broke off and flashed her an apologetic smile. “I’m the guy who always knows what to say, but right now I don’t know what to say.”

  “You already said the most important words.”

  “That I love you?”

  “Yes. And you said that I’m enough. You have no idea what hearing you say that meant to me.” She rested her hand on his chest, feeling the beat of his heart under her fingers and knowing that she’d never, ever, do anything to hurt that heart. She stayed like that for a moment, breathing in the scent of him, the scent of the park, the scent of the city. “I’ve written about love all my life, but I’ve never felt it. Until now.”

  “How does it feel?”

  “Like a legal high.” Before she could elaborate, there was a commotion behind her and she saw Daniel’s face break into a smile. She turned her head and there, racing toward them was Valentine, and right behind him was another dog. Heavier, clumsier, but wonderfully familiar.

  “Brutus!” She was filled with joy and relief. “Valentine found him. He’s safe.”

  Valentine shot up to her and Brutus lurched to a halt next to Daniel, who for a moment said nothing.

  Molly was beginning to think he didn’t recognize the dog when he dropped into a crouch and pulled Brutus toward him.

  Brutus whined and licked him, put his paws on Daniel’s shoulders until he had to brace himself to keep his balance.

  Still he didn’t speak, and it was only when she looked closely that Molly realized that the reason he didn’t speak was because he couldn’t.

  Witnessing the emotion in his face made her heart contract.

  She put her hand on his shoulder. “He’s safe.”

  “I imagined him being hit by a car. I thought—”

  “He’s here and he’s fine. We should call the twins. We’ll get him checked. We’ll take him to see Steven. He shouldn’t go back to those people.”

  “He’s not going back to them.” Daniel rose unsteadily to his feet. “He’s going to live with me.”

  “You?”

  “Brutus is a difficult character to handle and I can’t risk having to interrupt my working day every time he goes missing.”

  Deciding that this might not be a good moment to smile, Molly simply nodded. “Good point.”

  “So it’s easier if I keep him myself.”

  “That is a sound and logical decision. And a generous one,” she added, “given that you’re not a dog person.”

  “But you are a dog person. And you’ll be living with me, so he’ll have someone who knows about dogs.” His hand was on Brutus’s head, but his eyes were on her. And what she saw in his eyes made her breathless. How could she ever have thought she could live without him? She didn’t want to, not even for a moment.

  “I will?”

  “We could live at your place if you prefer, but there’s more room at mine. And two dogs are going to take up a lot of space. Especially as they’re not exactly small dogs.”

  “I’m not clear about this. You’re suggesting I move in with you?”

  “It wasn’t a suggestion. It was a command, with an alternate close.”

  “An alternate close?”

  “Your place or my place.”

  “That’s it? That’s my choice?”

  “Yes, although it shouldn’t be that hard a choice. After a day with Brutus in your apartment, you’d have to remodel. He lacks spatial awareness.”

  “In that case, I don’t think there’s a decision to be made.” She felt light inside. Light, and so happy she wanted to dance. Warmth flowed through her.

  Daniel took her face in his hands, everything he felt visible in his eyes. “I wrote to you. I sent Aggie a letter this morning. I was waiting for her answer.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck, her heart forever lost. “I haven’t been online since you left, but I can tell you what her answer would be.”

  “I haven’t told you the question.” He murmured the words into her hair and she smiled, holding him tightly.

  “Whatever the question was, her answer would be yes. Yes to all of it. Yes, to love. Yes, to living together. Yes, to anything. I’m desperately in love with you. That’s the only thing that matters.”

  He brought his mouth down on hers again. “I can’t stop kissing you,” he murmured against her lips, “and there are about a thousand people in the park. Think what I’m doing for your reputation.”

  “You’re probably enhancing it, although people will warn you that I’m going to break your heart.”

  “I never believe what people tell me. I prefer to check out the evidence for myself.”

  “Good.” She looked into those wicked blue eyes and wondered how she’d lived without him all this time.

  “So we’re a family. You, me and two unruly dogs.”

  “Seems that way.”

  He smoothed her hair back from her face. “And one day, a long way in the future, I’m going to ask you to marry me, so you’d better write to Aggie and ask for her advice on how you should answer.”

  “I think I know what she’s going to say.”

  Sensing her happiness, Valentine barked his approval. Brutus joined in, and through the crazy barking she heard cheering and pulled away to see Fliss and Harriet beaming at them.

  “Of course when you marry me, you’ll get two sisters,” Daniel drawled. “If that’s a problem, we could always move to another city.”

  She laughed and wrapped her arms round his neck. “I’m never moving again. I love your sisters, I love you and I love this place. New York actually is the best city in the world.”

  “You could be right about that.”

  And he lowered his head and kissed her again.

  * * * * *

  Thank You

  There are still days when I wake up and can’t believe writing is actually my job, but writing the story is only the beginning of the publication process and I’m grateful to my publisher, HQN in the US and HQ Stories in the UK, for their continuing support for my writing. A particularly big shout-out to the sales team in both the US and the UK who work so hard to make sure readers can find my books on the shelves. With so many books published daily they have a difficult job and it’s lucky for me they’re all so good at what they do.

  Social media makes it possible to connect with so many readers, and I’m grateful to the wonderful group of people on Facebook who were so generous with their help when I asked for inspiration for dog names, and a special thank-you to Angela Vines Crockett who gave me the idea of making the dog’s name “manly.”

  Thanks to my wonderful agent Susan Ginsburg and the team at Writers House, and also to my editor Flo Nicoll, who is brilliant in every way.

  Without the support of my wonderful family I doubt I’d write a single word, so I’m eternally grateful to them, but my biggest thank-you goes to you, the reader, for choosing to buy my books. I’m so lucky to have a place on your bookshelf or e-reader.

  Love, Sara
h

  xxx

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  Copyright

  An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd

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  First published in Great Britain by HQ in 2017

  Copyright © Sarah Morgan 2017

  Sarah Morgan asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

  A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

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