Hearts on Fire: Romance Multi-Author Box Set Anthology

by Violet Vaughn

  When I reach to pull his jeans down, Blaine grabs my hands to help, and we remove his boxers too. Blaine’s head is back and his eyes are closed as his breathing becomes panting. He’s totally into this, and now I am too.

  While he stands to step out of his pants, I whip my shirt off and then my bra. I waste no time as I gaze at the naked man before me. God, he’s beautiful. I lie back down as he returns to his knees. He leans over me and kisses my neck, and a hand reaches for my breast, rubbing me the way I showed him. Waves of pleasure storm through my body when he uses his mouth to repeat the action. I reach up to grab his cock, but his erection is deflating. I squeeze with more pressure as I wonder what happened. But my hand seems to be making things worse.

  “Fuck,” says Blaine as he pulls himself away to sit back on the bed. He lowers his head in his hands, and I can’t see his face. I’m not sure what to do, so I sit up and say nothing. He gets up, grabs his pants, and pounds out without a word.

  Water rushes in the bathroom sink as I get dressed. My resigned steps lead me to the living room, where an almost-naked assortment of men dance. I watch for a second before ice seeps into my veins. My stomach clenches and I whisper, “Oh my God.”

  I turn to Blaine as he comes toward me, and notice his erection. His eyes are wide with fear. “Casey. It’s not what you think.” He reaches for me, but I stumble back.

  I shake my head. Of course it’s what I think. Holy shit. He is gay.

  Blaine grabs the remote to stop the movie. He gazes into my eyes, and I think his fear is panic now. Oh God, this poor man. I reach out toward him. “Blaine?”

  He shakes his head, and I wrap my arms around his waist to say, “It’s okay.”

  Blaine grips my arms and pushes me away as he says, “I don’t want to be gay, Casey. I want to be a normal man. I’ve been trying forever, but I can’t seem to make it work.” He takes a deep breath as he glances up to the ceiling. “I don’t know what to do.”

  My heart aches for him. “Blaine, I don’t think you get to make it happen.” I reach out and touch his arm. “You deserve to love someone you want to be with physically. Someone whose body turns you on with a touch, who makes your skin tingle, your insides melt. Someone who makes you feel the things I’ve felt with you. Don’t you want that?”

  He clenches his teeth. “It’s not right.”

  My heart is breaking. “You’re talking to the wrong person. I don’t see being gay as wrong or unnatural. It just is.” I’m at a loss here. I suppose I could be mad that he’s lied to me all this time. But right now all I can think of is how to ease his pain.

  “Yeah, maybe.” He plops down on the couch, and I flash back to when he practically lived on his.

  I ask, “You go to the counselor tomorrow, right?”

  “Yes.” He won’t look at me.

  “Talk to him. Please?” I sit next to him and place my hand on his thigh. The muscles are rock hard with tension under my palm.

  “Okay,” he says as he stands. “I’m going to go.”

  I wonder what he’s going to do, and fear makes me say, “Wait.” I grab his hand as he walks toward the door. He turns back to me, and I say, “I love you, Blaine. And I’ll still love you tomorrow.”

  He nods and walks out.

  I sink into the couch. I remember so many little things, and it all starts to make sense. Holy crap. It was right there, and I let myself deny it, right along with Blaine.

  24

  I’m still getting used to being alone. It’s been over two months since I discovered Blaine is gay. We’ve talked a few times, and he seems to be handling things well, but spending time with me isn’t what he wants to do. I miss my dinners with Blaine, lunch at the bike shop, and doing things with Nick and Megan. I’ve realized that I’d made Blaine my world, and now I have to create a new one.

  Part of my new single status means if I want lunch out, I’m on my own. I’m not uncomfortable eating solo, but I find I need something to do. I creep myself out with the way I listen to strangers’ entire conversations. Sometimes I’m privy to things I shouldn’t know, so I’ve started to bring a book.

  I order lunch, and my stomach growls as I stand at the counter of The Baked Bean to wait. My appetite is back, and I’m doing my best to fatten up for winter.

  I grab water, chips, and even a slice of carrot cake to put on my tray next to the register. When the soup and sandwich are ready, I pay and walk over to a table. The onion-and-squash aroma of the soup wafts up to my nose, and my mouth starts to water. Few people are scatted about the tables, and I spot a table in the back corner of the room. If I get tired of my book, I have the view of the entire coffee shop to entertain me.

  The flavor of my soup is even better than the smell, and I try not to eat it too fast, but I’m really hungry. I’m so ravenous I don’t even open my book until all that’s left is cake. I’m lost in a romance when a familiar voice interrupts me. Jason asks, “You gonna eat that?”

  He sits down across from me, and I notice his hair is longer than usual. Sandy-blond locks swoop down to almost hide his eyes, and I resist the urge to push his hair back. He reaches toward my carrot cake, and I slap his hand out of the way with a smack. “Hey! Hands off.” I gaze at his playful grin and say, “It’s good to see you. It’s been a while.”

  He manages to breaks off a piece anyway and pops it into his mouth. “Oh, that’s good.” Jason frowns at my empty plate and bowl. “Did you eat all that?” Finally, the food police can be proud of me.

  “I sure did. A bowl of soup, a sandwich, chips, and a pickle. Impressed?”

  “Stand up, I want to see if your ass is skinny or... Hell, I just want to see your ass.” He smiles his evil smile.

  I shake my head. “You’re a piece of work.”

  “Life with the boyfriend must be better if you’re eating.” He snitches another piece of cake.

  “We broke up.” I pick up my fork and hover protectively over the dessert.

  He raises his eyebrows at me. “Is that good or bad?”

  “It’s good. I mean, we’re still good friends. So, yeah, it’s good.”

  “So it’s good. Good.”

  I roll my eyes. Damn if he doesn’t look amazing. The banter hasn’t distracted my body one bit, and a little something smolders. “Did you see the snow?”

  “I did. I can’t believe we start in two weeks.” He grabs my hand holding the fork and with his free one takes another piece of cake.

  “I know. My work has pretty much dried up, and I’m getting bored.” A dirty blonde is headed our way. She’s pretty and petite—curvy in a way that makes me jealous. From the look on her face, I’m returning the favor. I point at her with the fork. “I think someone’s looking for you.”

  “There you are,” she says to Jason. “I’ve been waiting outside. Didn’t you read your texts?” She has her hands on her hips, and I wonder if she will tap her Frye-boot-clad foot at him too. I know I shouldn’t be amused, but I am. This is so not his kind of girl.

  Jason leans back in his chair and glances at me. “Casey, this is Cassie.” Then he turns to Cassie, whose eyes flash with anger. “You’re so cute when you’re mad.” She lets out a big sigh of exasperation and stomps off toward the counter.

  I roll my eyes. “You did not just say that to her.”

  Jason stands up. He flashes his evil smile again. “It makes her feisty.” He leans down close to my ear, grazing it with his warm breath, and whispers, “You know how I like that.” Shivers race down my body. A quick vision of the night in my loft appears in my mind, and I bite my lip as I watch him walk away with his girlfriend. Damn it.

  I flash back to the night at The Fish Bowl and wonder how serious they are. I picture him kissing her, and my stomach aches. I start to pack my stuff up and glance at my cake. Appetite gone, I dump it into my bowl. As I get up, another voice calls my name, and I turn to Blaine. He looks as yummy as ever. I walk toward him, and he takes the tray from my hands. “I have to talk to you. Can I w
alk you somewhere?”

  I watch him deal with the trash, dishes, and tray for me. A pang of longing for what we had surprises me as I say, “Sure. You look great.”

  “You do, too.” I notice Jason behind Blaine, and he watches us. A sudden flare of green makes me reach up and pull Blaine down for a kiss. Just a quick one on the lips, but my goal is achieved, because when I glance at Jason again, he looks pissed.

  Blaine puts his arm around my shoulders and takes my backpack, and we walk out.

  The air is cool when we get outside, and I snuggle into Blaine for his warmth. He says, “I talked to Clara today. She sounds happy and said the kids love California.”

  I wish I had gloves, and when Blaine and I step apart, I pull my hands up into my sleeves. I ask, “When is she coming back? I miss them. I have a room at the boarding house, but I know Mrs. Matheson would like to know when she’ll start to get my money.”

  “They’re not. Clara wanted me to feel you out on something. She would like you to stay in her house but wondered if you’d be willing to pay her what you would have paid for the boarding house room.” He flips his hair out of his eyes, and I recognize the scent of his shampoo.

  “Of course. Why aren’t they coming back?” I was looking forward to having Clara to hang out with.

  “She’s happy there. Being near Tim’s family gives her help with the kids, and she isn’t sure she can face a winter here without him. Too many memories.”

  When I gaze up at Blaine’s face, I see tears in his eyes. I take his hand and the warmth covers my chilly one. “I’m sure there are.”

  Blaine clears his throat. “There’s more. I’ve decided to move back, too.”

  “What?” No. I’m not ready for him to be gone from my life.

  “Casey, I have to deal with who I am. This will be a hard place to do that. When I’m completely comfortable with it, I can come back.” A snow flurry lands on my nose, melting before I can brush it off.

  I stop, and we turn toward each other. “I don’t want you to go.” My eyes brim with tears, and I know I’m being selfish. Blaine wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me in tight. I can’t help it; the tears fall.

  “Shhh, don’t.” His voice is soft as if I’m a child.

  I say, “I feel like I’ll never see you again once you go. Just because we, you know.” I pause. “I haven’t stopped loving you, Blaine.”

  “Come with me,” he says. “You’d love it there. I’ll teach you to surf. I know you’d be a natural.” Blaine tucks a curl behind my ear, and I think he’s being sincere.

  I smile at him. “That sounds fun.” But I know it’s a terrible idea. He needs the freedom to be who he is without the constant reminder of who he thought he should be. I shake my head. “No. I need to stay here and have my Colorado winter. I’m going to miss you so much.” I glance at the dusting of snow on the mountains as we continue to walk to my car.

  He breaks our silence. “I told Nick yesterday.”

  “You did?” I’m surprised. “How did that go?”

  “He was awesome. He gave me a big hug and said nothing had changed for him.”

  “I think you’ll be happy with the number of people who don’t see being gay as such a horrible thing. I’m glad it went well.” That will make things easier with Nick and Megan now. And maybe a bit odd. Yeah, I can see why he doesn’t want to come out here. We’ve reached my car, and a quick shiver runs through me, and I ask, “When are you leaving?”

  “Next week. This isn’t good-bye today. I’ll make sure I see you before I go.” He drops my pack from his shoulder, and his arm jerks.

  I unlock my car door, and when I pull, it groans open. “Want me to make you dinner next week? I have Clara’s jambalaya recipe.”

  My backpack thuds onto my passenger seat as he tosses it in the car. “That sounds great. Maybe we can play trains too.”

  I smile at him to keep from crying. “Trains. Definitely.” Driving home I’m a mess. First finding out Jason and Cassie are a thing, then Clara not coming back, and Blaine leaving. I can’t decide what to process first. I plan a long run for tomorrow.

  The next morning, I’m running on Gold Camp Road, which is a long dirt road not well-traveled, when Jason pulls up in his truck. He yells out the passenger window. “Hey! Did you hear about the party?” He slows to the speed I’m running so he can talk to me. He’s aware how much I hate to stop mid-run, and it’s kind of cute.

  “Nope,” I answer. “Nobody invites me to things these days.” That’s not true, but I’m feeling lonely. I slow my pace a bit, and my heart rate settles enough so I can talk comfortably.

  “Well, I am. There’s a party for instructors, and it’s at my house. You probably know where it is. At the end of this road? I moved into Kaleb’s house.” Oh, boy. Kaleb lives in a house that contains seven ski instructors, usually male. It has a reputation of being a party house. It does depend on who lives there each year, but I’m pretty sure Jason will have a wild one.

  I glance at him. “Are you crazy? Didn’t anyone tell you it’s the party house?”

  He starts to laugh. “Don’t think I can handle it?”

  “You can handle it. Can your girlfriend?” Cassie’s boot-tapping echoes in my mind.

  “Cassie isn’t my girlfriend.”

  I just about stop running, but don’t. “So why is she here?”

  “I’m irresistible. We’ve been over this.” I shake my head at his grin.

  “Oh, you’re something.” Way to avoid the question, but I think I know the answer. She’s not a good skier, so it was to win him back.

  “You and surfer dude sure looked chummy when I saw you yesterday. I thought you broke up.” He’s enjoying this. He knows exactly what I did yesterday.

  I smile. “He’s moving back to California. You have nothing to worry about.”

  “Who says I’m worried? I know your kryptonite.” Boy, does he ever. I don’t have to look over to know he has an evil grin on his face.

  “When?”

  “Saturday. Kaleb will be glad you’re coming. I think he has plans for you.” He snickers. Great. Blaine did tell me that Kaleb has a thing for me, and that Blaine gave him his blessing to ask me out, as if I needed permission.

  I shake my head and chuckle. “Are we done here? I’ve got a road to run.”

  Jason stops. But I keep running anyway. After I’m well ahead of him, his motor revs as he starts to drive again, and when he’s next to me he says, “By the way? The ass? It’s looking good.”

  As he speeds up, I throw my water bottle at him. Dust covers the bottle as it bounces a few times before he beeps his horn and guns it. That man drives me crazy. I’ve missed him.

  25

  “Please tell me you’re bored.” I text Megan. I’ve been out of work for three weeks and am going stir-crazy.

  “Totally.”

  “Silverthorne?” I need new jeans. Might as well work what I’ve got at that instructor party tonight. Silverthorne is the town near us where we can shop. It’s not exactly a fashion mecca, but it works.

  “Yes!”

  “I’ll come get you in 30.”

  As I pull into the driveway of Nick and Megan’s apartment building, she’s already running down the stairs. She opens the door and slides in. “I’m so glad you texted! I’ve watched way too many zombie shows and might start eating brains.” She chuckles as her seat belt clicks.

  “I know what you mean. Clara’s house has never been cleaner.”

  “All right. Let’s get this out of the way.” She pauses, and I know what she’s about to say. “Nick and I know about Blaine. Are you okay?”

  “Actually, I am. Now that I know, it explains so much. I still can’t fathom how he lived with such a big secret for so long.”

  “It blew me away when Nick told me. I know he’ll be fine, but I can’t imagine what went through your mind when you found out.”

  I stop at a red light and glance at her. “Mostly, that I should have listened
to my gut. I suspected it for a while. We never—how do I say this? Completed the act.”

  She looks shocked. “Wow. I never would have guessed that. You guys sure spent a lot of time touching each other.”

  “I know.” The light has turned green, and I start to drive. Silverthorne is a straight shot once you get on the highway.

  To lighten the mood, she says, “The next guy who gets you is in for treat. You must be ready to explode.” She giggles before she says, “Nick and I won’t be telling anyone.”

  “Thanks. I feel like that’s Blaine’s secret to share, and selfishly, I’m not sure I want to think people were talking about us. Even if he is gone now.”

  “Are you excited for the party? Oh! I just realized. Jason will be there.” She looks at me with a gleam in her eye as she reaches over and adjusts the heat.

  “Why, yes, he will. That’s why I need new jeans.” I flash her a smile.

  “Kaleb will too. He is so hot for you it’s not funny.”

  “Yeah, I’m afraid he thinks I’m a sex fiend. I’m kind of nervous to be around him. If he only knew.” We both laugh.

  After a great shopping trip, I’m rocking my new skinny jeans as I look through my closet for just the right top. I settle for a simple white tee and a cropped jacket. Along with my new ankle boots, it all works. I’m not sure why, but I’m nervous. Megan will be there to hang with, and I know quite a few instructors through Blaine. Maybe it’s new beginnings. A new job, a whole new group of people to see each day, and I’ll be working with Jason. My stomach flutters at the thought.

  I made a double batch of chocolate chip cookies to bring, and they’re warm in my hands as I carry them out to the car. I’ve been to the house once before with Blaine and remember it as something similar to a frat house. There had been a faint smell of stale beer and rotten garbage. I didn’t make it past the great room the front door opened into, but I imagined a sink full of dishes and a bathroom that would have made me want to squat over the toilet and try not to touch anything. I expect the guys cleaned for this, but I put baby wipes in my glove box just in case.