41 - Bad Hare Day

by R. L. Stine

  I made my way out of the kitchen to wash my hands. My parents didn’t take my magic act seriously. They thought it was just a hobby.

  But Ginny’s karate lessons were the most important thing in the world, of course. Mom always said, “Girls need to know how to defend themselves.” Now I needed to defend myself against my own sister!

  I returned to the kitchen and sat down. Mom plunked a piece of chicken down beside the rice on my plate. Dad and Ginny were already eating.

  “I had a terrible day at work today,” Mom grumbled, ripping into her chicken. She’s a high school guidance counselor. “First Michael Lamb threatened to beat up another boy. His teacher yelled at him, and he threatened to beat her up, too. She sent him to my office. When I tried to talk to him, he said he’d beat me up. So I called his mother in—and she tried to beat me up. I had to call the police!”

  “That’s a piece of cake next to my day,” Dad complained. Dad sells cars. “Some guy came in and said he wanted to test-drive the new minivan. I handed him the keys, and he took off. He never came back. He stole the car!”

  I sighed and shoveled rice into my mouth. Dinner is like this every night. Both of my parents hate their jobs.

  “I had a really tough day, too,” Ginny put in. “Michael Franklin teased me. So I had to karate-kick him in the leg!”

  I smirked. “Poor you.”

  Mom’s forehead wrinkled—her concerned look. “You didn’t hurt yourself, did you, Ginny?”

  “No,” Ginny replied. “But I could have.”

  “What about me?” I protested. “I’m the one who got kicked in the stomach. And it hurt a lot!”

  “You seem to be fine now,” Dad chimed in.

  I gave up. I knew that arguing would get me nowhere. Mom and Dad always take Ginny’s side.

  “Is there any dessert?” Ginny demanded.

  “Ice cream,” Mom answered.

  “I’ll clear the table,” I offered, hoping it would put Mom in a better mood. I needed both Mom and Dad to be in a good mood.

  Because I was about to ask the big question.

  Would they let me go to Midnight Mansion tomorrow night?

  Would they?

  3

  I stood up, collecting dirty plates. “Guess what? Amaz-O is doing his act at Midnight Mansion tomorrow night. Mr. Malik gave me two free passes.” I held my breath, waiting for their answer.

  “Excellent!” Ginny cried. “That means I can go too!”

  “I’m not taking you,” I told her. “I’ll ask Mark or Jesse or somebody. Anybody but you.” I dropped the plates in the sink. They crashed but didn’t break.

  “Careful, Tim,” Mom warned.

  Ginny slithered over to the sink and tried to hug me. “Please, Tim. I’m your sister. Your only sister in the whole world. I’d do anything for you. You have to take me with you!”

  “Neither one of you is going,” Dad said quietly. “It’s a school night.”

  “But Dad, it’s free!” I protested. “Just this once. Amaz-O is my hero. I’ll never get another chance to see him in person!”

  “What time does the show start?” Mom asked.

  “Ten o’clock,” I told her.

  She shook her head. “Absolutely not. You’re not going out at ten o’clock on a school night. Especially not to a nightclub. You’re much too young.” She furiously spooned ice cream into a bowl.

  “Mom—please!” I begged. “I’m twelve. I can handle it.”

  “You heard your mother,” Dad said. “You’ll have other chances to see Amaz-O, Tim. Don’t worry.”

  Mom offered me a bowl of ice cream. “I don’t want it,” I grumbled. I stormed out of the kitchen. As I left, I heard Ginny say, “Good. Now I’ll get two bowls of ice cream.”

  Stupid Ginny, I thought. Stupid Mom and stupid Dad. My one chance to see my idol, the great Amaz-O—and they won’t let me go.

  I wandered into the garage. In the corner stood a new trick I was building—the rabbit table. It was a square table that came up to my waist. The top had a hole in it that led to a secret compartment under the table.

  I planned to hide a rabbit in the compartment and cover the hole with my magic top hat. When I pressed a pedal at the foot of the table, the bottom of the secret compartment would rise up. Then I’d lift my hat—and there would be the rabbit!

  The table was almost finished. I turned it upside down and hammered on the bottom of the secret compartment.

  This trick is going to knock everybody out tomorrow afternoon, I thought. I’ll be almost as amazing as Amaz-O!

  I was so busy hammering I didn’t hear the garage door open. Two baby blue high-tops suddenly appeared in front of me. I didn’t have to look up. I knew Ginny’s smelly sneakers when I saw them.

  “Go away,” I commanded.

  She never listens to me. “You going to do the rabbit trick tomorrow?” she asked.

  “Uh-huh. Now go away.”

  “Where are you going to get the rabbit?”

  I set down my hammer. “I’m going to turn you into a rabbit.”

  “Ha ha.” She flipped her wavy blond hair. “You know what this table would be perfect for?” she asked. “Karate-chopping. I’ll bet I could chop it in half with one hand.”

  “Try it and I’ll—”

  “You’ll what?” she taunted.

  What could I do to her? Not much. “I’ll turn you into a rabbit for real,” I threatened.

  “Oh, yeah? How are you going to do that?”

  “It’s easy,” I replied. “Mr. Malik showed me how. Tonight, while you’re sleeping, I’m going to sneak into your room and turn you into a rabbit.”

  “Give me a break,” Ginny said. “That is so dumb.”

  “Maybe. Maybe not. I guess we’ll find out tonight.” I picked up my hammer again. “I hope you like carrots,” I told her.

  “You’re crazy,” she said. She hurried out of the garage.

  Well, I thought. At least that got rid of her for a while.

  I set the table on its legs again. All I had to do was paint it, and it would be ready.

  Wouldn’t it be great? I thought as I opened a can of blue paint. Wouldn’t it be great if I really could turn Ginny into a rabbit?

  But that was impossible. Wasn’t it?

  4

  “We want the rabbit trick! We want the rabbit trick!”

  Ginny sat in the grass in our backyard. Six or seven other kids sat around. I was in the middle of my magic act. Ginny was stirring up trouble.

  She knew I didn’t have a rabbit for the trick. I was still waiting for Foz to show up.

  Where is he? I wondered. He’s ruining my show!

  The other kids joined in Ginny’s chant. “The rabbit trick! The rabbit trick!”

  I tried to stall them. “The amazing, incredible rabbit trick is coming up,” I promised. “But first—wouldn’t you like to see me pull a quarter out of Ginny’s ear again?”

  “No!” the kids yelled. “Boo!”

  “Karate fight!” Sue called. “We want a karate fight. Ginny versus Tim!”

  Things were getting ugly.

  At last I glimpsed Foz at the side of the house. He waved at me frantically.

  “Intermission!” I announced. “I’ll be back in two minutes. And then—I’ll pull a rabbit out of my hat!”

  I hurried over to Foz. A big cardboard box sat at his feet.

  “What took you so long?” I demanded.

  “I’m sorry,” Foz said. “I almost had to rip the rabbit out of Clare’s hands.”

  I opened the box. Clare’s big white rabbit lifted its nose and sniffed at me. I grabbed it and stuffed it under my jacket.

  “Be careful!” Foz warned. “If anything happens to it, my sister will chop me into rabbit food!”

  “The rabbit will be fine,” I told him. “What could happen to it?”

  I sneaked the rabbit to the table. With my back to the audience, I stuffed it into the secret compartment and plopped my hat on top.
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  Then I turned to face the kids. None of them had seen the rabbit. Perfect.

  “Ladies and gentlemen!” I called. “Thanks for being so patient. Here is the moment you’ve all been waiting for—”

  “Karate fight!” Ginny called.

  “Even better than a karate fight!” I said. “I, the Great Timothini, will now pull a rabbit out of my hat!”

  Ginny snorted. “The Great Timothini?”

  I pointed at her. “You, in the front row. Quiet!”

  “You be quiet!” Ginny shot back.

  “Get on with it!” Jesse called.

  “Okay. I need complete silence now. I must concentrate.”

  To my surprise, the kids actually quieted down. Even Ginny. Everyone stared up at me, waiting.

  I lifted my hat off the table. “As you can see, my hat is empty. It’s an ordinary, everyday top hat. Sue, will you please examine the hat?”

  I passed the hat to Sue. She turned it over. “It looks like a regular hat to me,” she declared.

  I set the hat on the table, covering the secret compartment. “Thank you, Sue. Now—watch carefully.”

  I waved my arms over the hat. “Abracadabra, abracadeer, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit—appear!”

  I stepped on the pedal to make the rabbit rise up. Then I lifted the hat with a flourish.

  Nothing there. The hat stood empty.

  I checked the secret compartment. No rabbit there, either.

  My heart pounded. How could this be?

  “The rabbit!” I cried. “It’s gone!”

  5

  What have I done? I thought in horror.

  My trick must have worked better than I thought!

  I glanced up and saw Ginny pointing across the backyard. “There it goes!” she cried. “There’s the rabbit!”

  I whirled around. Clare’s white rabbit was hopping away.

  How could that happen? I wondered. I glanced into the secret compartment again.

  I’d left one side of the secret compartment open. How could I have been so stupid?

  “Tim—you promised!” Foz screamed. “Grab it!”

  I chased after the rabbit. Foz huffed behind me. The rabbit had already hopped halfway across our next-door neighbors’ backyard. I glanced back. Ginny and the other kids were yelling and running after us.

  The rabbit stopped behind a bush. I sped up—and pounced.

  “Got him!” I cried. But the rabbit slipped out of my hands and bounded away.

  “He’s headed for the stream!” Ginny shouted.

  A muddy stream ran behind all the backyards on our block. The rabbit disappeared behind the trees that hid the stream.

  Whooping like crazy, Ginny led the kids after the rabbit.

  “Stop!” I yelled. “You’re scaring it away!”

  But none of them listened to me. There was nothing to do but keep chasing.

  “Don’t let the rabbit hop into the water!” Foz screamed. “He’ll drown!”

  “He won’t drown,” I told Foz. “That stream is only about two inches deep.”

  “Just catch the rabbit!” Foz ordered. He was in a total panic. Maybe his sister really would chop him into rabbit food.

  The rabbit hopped through the mud and across the stream into the Darbys’ yard. I shoved the other kids aside. I splashed through the stream.

  The rabbit stopped. Its ears twitched.

  I motioned to the others to keep still. I squatted down and crept toward the rabbit.

  I saw why it had stopped. The Darbys’ cat, Boo Boo, crouched low in the grass, waiting to pounce.

  The rabbit was trapped between us. I crawled closer. Closer. I was almost there….

  “Watch out for the cat!” Foz shrieked.

  With a yowl, the cat leaped. The rabbit bounced about a foot in the air. I missed him.

  Everybody raced after him again. I threw Foz a dirty look.

  “You’re ruining everything!” I shouted.

  “You’re the one who lost him in the first place!” Foz yelled back.

  “Hey!” Sue called. “Look at Ginny!”

  Ginny had raced to the head of the pack. The rabbit paused, then started running again. Ginny took a flying leap. “Yaw, hee ha how!” she screeched in her weirdo karate voice.

  She landed on her feet in front of the rabbit. It tried to change course. Too late.

  “Hiii—ya!” Ginny swooped down and grabbed the rabbit. She held him over her head like a trophy.

  “I got him!” she cried. “I got him!”

  “Yay, Ginny!” Everyone crowded around her, slapping her on the back.

  “Don’t let him go!” Foz cried. He hurried over to Ginny and snatched the rabbit away.

  We all started back to my yard. “Awesome trick, Tim.” Jesse patted me on the back. “You almost made the rabbit really disappear!”

  Everybody laughed. “You should change your stage name, Timothini,” Sue chimed in. “How about ‘The Great Goofballini’?”

  “Or ‘Mess-Up the Magnificent’!” Jesse suggested.

  I sighed and shut my eyes. Another magic show—another disaster.

  “I can’t believe you almost lost my sister’s rabbit,” Foz grumbled.

  “I’m sorry, Foz. I’ll be more careful next time.”

  He clutched the rabbit tightly to his chest. “Next time, get your own rabbit.”

  He hurried to the side of the house and stuffed the rabbit into the box.

  “Anybody want to come over to my house?” Jesse called. He lived next door. “I’ve got a great trick to show you—the disappearing dog. I let go of his leash, and he runs away!”

  Laughing, the other kids drifted over to Jesse’s house. Foz took the rabbit home to his sister.

  “You going over to Jesse’s?” Ginny asked.

  I shook my head. “I’m going inside for a snack.”

  “Maybe you should do your magic act inside from now on,” Ginny said. “Then your tricks won’t be able to escape from you!” She giggled.

  “Very funny,” I mumbled. “You won’t be laughing so hard when I turn you into a rabbit. I don’t think rabbits know how to laugh.”

  “Ooh. I’m scared.” She rolled her eyes.

  “You’d better be.” I leaned close to her and whispered. “Tonight’s the night. Tonight, while you’re sleeping, I’ll turn you into a rabbit. And if you try to run away, the Darbys’ cat will get you.”

  She rolled her eyes again. Then she reached up to tweak my nose. “Boi-oi-oing.”

  She trotted off to Jesse’s house.

  I definitely need better magic tricks, I thought as I dragged myself into the house. Better equipment, too. So I can do really cool tricks. Tricks that actually work.

  I thought of all the stuff Mr. Malik sold in his shop. If I could have just one of those tricks, I could do a great act. I’ve got to get one somehow.

  But how?

  That night everybody went to bed early. Mom and Dad were exhausted and crabby after another bad day at work.

  “Today was the worst day ever!” Mom grumbled. “I’m so exhausted. Everybody to bed!”

  Ginny and I knew better than to protest. We didn’t want to stay up, anyway, with Mom and Dad grouching around all evening.

  I lay in bed with the lights off, trying to sleep. Amaz-O’s show is tonight, I thought miserably. He’s performing tonight, only a few miles away from my house. I have free passes. And I can’t go. It’s not fair!

  How am I ever going to be a great magician if I never see any magic shows? Amaz-O is the greatest of the great—and I have to miss my one chance to see him!

  Or do I? A wicked thought popped into my head. Why should I miss the show?

  I’ve got the tickets. I can ride to Midnight Mansion on my bike. I could sneak out of the house for a couple of hours—and Mom and Dad would never have to know.

  I rolled over in bed and peered at my alarm clock. The dial glowed in the dark. Nine-forty.

  The show would start in twenty minute
s, I knew. I could still make it if I left right now.

  I couldn’t stand to think about it any longer. I had to go.

  I slid out of bed, hoping my mattress wouldn’t creak. I tiptoed across the room to my dresser. I silently pulled on a pair of jeans and a shirt.

  Sneakers in hand, I carefully opened my bedroom door. The house was dark. I heard Dad snoring in my parents’ room down the hall.

  I crept toward the stairs. Am I really doing this? I thought, suddenly nervous. Am I really sneaking out in the middle of the night to go to Midnight Mansion?

  6

  Yes—I’m really doing it, I thought. I’ll do anything to see Amaz-O. It’s totally worth the risk.

  What’s the worst that could happen?

  Mom and Dad could find out. Then what? Maybe they’d ground me. But I will have seen the great Amaz-O in person. And while I’m grounded, I can try to learn some of Amaz-O’s tricks.

  Anyway, I won’t get caught. I won’t.

  I paused at the top of the stairs. The stairs in my house are the creakiest stairs in the universe.

  Once when I was little, I tried to sneak downstairs on Christmas Eve to see what Santa had left me. I barely touched the top step with my foot—CRRREEEEAAAK! Mom burst out of her room before I even had a chance to try the second step.

  It’s not going to happen this time, I told myself. I’ll take each step very slowly. I’ll lean on the banister to keep them from creaking. No one will wake up. No one will hear me.

  I put both my hands on the banister and rested my weight on it. Then I set my right foot carefully—the toe, then the heel—on the top step.

  Crick. Just a tiny little sound. I’m sure no one heard it, I thought.

  I shifted my hands down the banister and took another step. This one made no creak at all.

  So far, so good.

  I took the third step. Creak. Not a rip-roaring loud creak, but louder than the first. I froze.

  I listened for the sound of someone stirring in the house.

  Silence. All clear.

  If Amaz-O only knew what I’m going through to see him, I thought. I must be his biggest fan on the face of the earth.