Erotic fantasies

by Sandie Tifinie

  5

  Three movie fantasies to recreate

  Movies are great fantasy inspiration—the scenario is already set up for you and you get to emulate the sexiest people in the world.

  Check out The Fabulous Baker Boys. Sparks fly over the piano between Michelle Pfeiffer and Jeff Bridges. The tension between the two of them crackles throughout, leading up to the stunningly sexy piano scene where they almost make love through the song. It’s a great lesson in mixing work and pleasure. Watch the film and if you have a piano try it at home. Almost worth buying one for.

  Next up is Dangerous Liaisons–more Michelle Pfeiffer and a bodice-ripping drama set in eighteenth century France. A great lesson in the dangers of immoral love as well as how to look sexy in a corset! Some of the scenes are well worth trying to recreate, such as the one where the wicked Valmont pens a letter to his victim using Uma Thurman’s buttocks as a writing desk.

  And finally what about Sex, Lies and Videotape–the title says it all. Infidelity, lust, pervy filming and sex. And a good idea for some very entertaining fun at home. Get out your video camera or just a normal stills camera if you don’t have one. Make your own porn-film. Just remember to put it somewhere safe when you’ve finished so you don’t mix it up with the one of your nephew’s christening.

  If regular Hollywood films aren’t exciting enough go for porn if you like. It is important that you choose something that turns you on. Some people like to see every bump and grind while others prefer something more subtle, so figure out where your tastes lie and (as long as it’s legal) go for it.

  6

  Sex on the brain

  For a lot of people, especially women, sex is as much in the mind as in the more obvious erogenous zones.

  For a woman to feel sexy her mind needs to be in tune with her body. And fantasy helps that enormously. Encourage your partner to help you fantasise as you are having sex. During foreplay he might whisper fantasy situations in your ear: ‘Imagine we are at the opera. We are alone in the royal box. I am sitting behind you and I start caressing you, putting my hands under your dress, feeling the tops of your stockings. Everyone is watching the stage. We are trying to be as quiet as possible. I ease you off your chair and onto my lap…’ You can continue the script from here.

  Research has shown that short bursts of sexy thoughts throughout the day have a cumulative effect on your sex drive. Whenever you have a spare moment think about the last time you had sex, or what you plan to do with your partner that night. Fantasise. Priming your mind primes your body. It makes you want sex more—and that’s very sexy.

  One survey found that the beach works. Lying naked on a hot, deserted beach gets women going. Sex with an entire sports team excited some and women also like the idea of a stranger in the night who is going to take them to some seedy hotel room and pleasure them for hours. The most popular one though was the thought of being tied up and dominated.

  For men the most popular fantasy is the age-old threesome (with two women). The most common scenario is having oral and genital sex at the same time. Another popular one is watching two women having sex. In fact anything to do with two women seems to work for most men.

  7

  Spice up your life

  Time to reinvigorate yourself with something completely different.

  You have already taken an important first step by buying this book. It is packed full of fantasy tips that can improve your sexiness and emotional life. Another major step is to make routine a thing of the past.

  So think of ways to surprise your man. You might offer to wash his car, wearing a short skirt and stockings and suspenders. The neighbours will be eternally grateful too. Use your imagination to surprise people, including yourself!

  Men are easy to please really. As long as they have food, drink, sex and are not uncomfortable they’re pretty happy. Out of that list sex probably comes first so you need to come up with something that involves just that. Why not offer him one of his fantasies as a present? If that means you have to dress up in a bunny-girl outfit then so be it. You could also offer to be his sex slave for a couple of hours. The important thing is to try something you wouldn’t normally do. And whatever it is, make sure he returns the favour one day soon!

  8

  Tie me up, tie me down 1

  The first time someone ties you up is a revelation. You are no longer in control and with that comes a feeling of total abandonment.

  It is a fact that most men and women love to be dominated. Not all the time, but some of the time. One of the most popular female fantasies is one that involves a man forcing himself on a woman, either by tying her up or simply holding her arms down above her head. We have all read those stories of powerful men liking a good whipping by a dominatrix. What is it about bondage that turns us on?

  According to research, 14% regularly enjoy bondage (and there must be plenty more that don’t admit to practising it). Men find women with whips in their hands very sexy. Maybe it’s the fact a woman with a whip in her hand is unlikely to be there for anything other than a serious sex session. If it’s a look you haven’t tried before then you might be delighted with the effect it has on your bloke. Complete the image with a corset, stockings, high heels and suspenders. You’ll have him whimpering.

  9

  The cinq à sept

  Take the wildness of an affair and translate it to your present relationship.

  The French have managed to institutionalise infidelity. They call it the cinq à sept, the idea being that you visit your mistress on your way back home from the office in the hours between five and seven.

  What is so sexy about affairs is that there is something totally enticing and tantalising about the forbidden. Those moments together are so sweet because they are (a) stolen, (b) short and (c) passionate. Combine those three factors and you have a hot situation that doesn’t have a chance to burn out. There is also the danger factor in the affair situation which makes it very exciting.

  Pretend to have an affair—with your partner. Plan to meet in a bar where no one will recognise you. Get that spark back into your relationship by treating each other as forbidden fruit, pretend to be working together or married to other people. Over drinks or dinner pretend you don’t know each other, have never met. Invent another personality. Tell each other stories you’ve never previously shared. Surprise each other.

  Role play can be a bit excruciating until you get used to it. Alcohol helps. As do props. Pretend you are having an affair with your doctor or that your mechanic popped round to fix a flat tyre. A white coat or a whiff of petrol will help the fantasy.

  Take the 5 to 7 literally. If you meet up in a hotel room for some mad passion on your way home from work and give yourselves a time constraint you’ll naturally focus on the passion and avoid the mundane.

  10

  Sex in strange places 1

  What was the strangest place you had sex? How was it? Exciting, weird, scary?

  If you think about it you’ll probably find it was a mixture of all of the above. But the main thing is that it is definitely memorable. Now is the time to create a few more sexy memories.

  There are some obvious places to start, quite a few of them in the comfort of your own home. The shower is one: the mixture of water and sex works brilliantly. The bath is another good place. Sofas are incredibly underrated, the possibilities are endless and there’s nothing like sex on a sofa to take you back to your teenage years. Try swinging from the legendary chandelier if you happen to have one. Just make sure it’s securely fastened.

  Cars are great for illicit sex, even small ones, though you obviously have to be a bit more supple to avoid obstacles such as brakes, gear sticks and door handles. Another good option (assuming you’re not on the hard shoulder of the M6) is sex on the warm bonnet. And, yes, the mile-high club is a bit of a cliché but it is certainly a good way to get through a long and boring flight.

  11

  All in the mind

  Any sexu
al thought is sexual fantasy. And any sort of sexual thought gets the job done.

  Counsellor Sarah Litvinoff says, ‘Sex therapists often find that women who claim never to have been sexually interested or who have gone off sex, never think sexual thoughts. Many people narrowly define sexual fantasies as the mini-pornographic scenes you play out in your head, which might include, say, bondage or lesbian images, that are a mental turn-on, but which you wouldn’t necessarily enjoy enacting for real. But it does not have to be this structured. Let your mind wander, look for the lascivious and feel the throb of sex that is lying beneath the layers of your sophisticated lifestyle.

  Find stimulation in your daily routine and you’ll find yourself overspilling with erotic charge, which will translate into action. You will initiate sex and respond to your partner in a different way sexually. You’ll be gagging for it.

  Begin to make a habit of daydreaming about sex. First thing when you wake up in the morning or last thing before you go to sleep, think a dirty thought or two. When you’re commuting, let the last time you made love run through your mind. As you’re queuing or waiting for your train, relive your sexual greatest hits. Count the number of people you meet in a day who actively appeal to you. Seek to get aroused by other people, but obviously don’t act on it. That old chestnut about taking the energy back to stoke the home fires isn’t an old chestnut for nothing.

  Remember that every time sex flits across your mind it’s a fantasy, and that those who fantasise most have the best sex lives. NB Like faith healing, you don’t have to believe in this for it to work.

  12

  Paying for it 1

  Slut sex can be a massive turn-on for both of you.

  Both sexes can get a huge kick from acting out prostitution fantasies. This explores our attitudes to power and control (often erotically charged) and both sexes are able to relish the freedom of imagining that they’re having no-holds-barred, no-strings-attached sex.

  The ‘client’ gets the thrill of the clean transaction, of the freedom of asking for what he wants, of control, of being in charge. The ‘whore’ gets the visible proof that he values what she does in bed. (For the sake of clarity, we’re being all traditional and assuming ‘he’ is the client and ‘she’ the whore but, of course, this fantasy begs for role reversal. The powerful female client and the stud-for-hire can be just as much of a turn-on.)

  This is one that definitely works better if you’ve both had a couple of drinks beforehand because alcohol removes the self-consciousness from role-playing, and for this idea to really work you both need to stay in character throughout.

  The Classic

  Arrange to meet on a certain street corner at a certain time. Make sure there’s not the slightest chance of it being mistaken for a red-light area or you might get more reality than you bargained for. She should dress as overtly sexily as she feels comfortable with in public; simply slipping off her knickers beforehand will give that added frisson. At the appointed hour, he pulls up in his car and asks whether she is available. She replies, ‘For what?’ Then he tells her in explicit detail. She comes back with the cost. Haggling or ‘negotiating a price’ can be a turn-on, and she shouldn’t get in the car until the deal is done. You can now either drive back home and pretend it’s her place or, if you’re daring, use the car (somewhere private, of course, or again this game could get a bit too real).

  13

  Paying for it 2

  Here’s one for those of you who like your slut sex a little more glamorous.

  The Pick-up

  She’s sitting at a hotel bar, looking sexy but demure. It helps if she adopts a slightly different look from usual—more makeup, hair slightly different, heels higher—a look that makes her feel unlike herself. She should make sure her underwear is brand new—nothing he’s ever seen before. She should order a different drink from usual and adopt a different name and personality—the easier the new persona comes to her the more convincing this will be. The same applies to him: he should invent a new persona, too, and ‘work it up’. He approaches her and, although there may be some preliminary ‘soft soap’, eventually a conversation not unlike the one above has to take place. Maintain eye contact. It’s sexier. When you’re done head home (or better still, take a room). Don’t talk too much and stay in character when you do.

  There’s an easy way to add a heightened sense of reality to the fantasy of paid-for sex: she keeps the money.

  14

  Paying for it 3

  If you really want to make a performance out of your role play then this idea should inspire you.

  The Hotel Room

  Book a hotel room and pay for it in advance. She arrives first and changes—a wig if she can bear it, lingerie he’s never seen before, heels, different perfume, negligée if she’s uncomfortable strutting around near naked. Make the mood seductive with music and candles. She should psych herself up—she’s a high-class call girl and her job is to make him feel good. High-class call girls are paid a lot because they’re brilliant actresses—so she should put her heart into it. At last, he knocks on the door and she lets him in. Introduce yourselves by different names. Open a bottle of champagne. He can be nervous—that’s still in character. But she must be confident and tease, flirt or be sexually voracious. She should read her client and take her clues from him (he, of course, has to act out his other side—the side that frequents prostitutes). She must make it clear she’s here for one reason only—to give him the best sexual experience he’s ever had. What would it take?

  What does he like? She should name her price and make it high. She’s the ultimate indulgence. She’s expensive. When the price has been agreed and she has the cash, lead him to the bed and get down to business. She should remember that this is her job and she’s very, very good at it. If she can slip a few tricks in that he definitely won’t be expecting, all the better. Maintain roles until the door closes behind him.

  ‘You always pay for sex, but not always in cash.’

  ANONYMOUS

  15

  Surprise for him!

  Isn’t it time you got in touch with your creative side?

  Laura Corn, author of 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex, has based her considerable best-selling success on one simple concept: the importance of the surprise factor. Each of her 101 suggestions depends on the fact that your partner doesn’t have a clue what sexual delight you’re planning. It works. Surprise your lover sexually every week for a year and you can bet your booty you won’t be collecting any ‘boring in bed’ prizes.

  A little bit of effort to surprise your lover with a new technique, seduction, outfit or behaviour reaps huge improvements. As long as it’s something unexpected, the surprise can be whatever you like. It can be filthy, funny, sweet and romantic or it can be more embarrassing than karaoke night down your local. Here are just two ideas to get you started.

  He’s in the shower. Wait until it’s good and steamy in there and then slip in beside him wearing your flimsiest, sheerest underwear. If there’s one thing more likely to turn him on than you naked, it’s wet, clinging wisps of material. (Blokes could try this, too, but it has to be silk boxers—soggy, cotton Y-fronts just don’t cut it.)

  On your next date, you can keep your coat on. Well, you don’t want the whole restaurant to know you’re naked underneath. Just him.

  16

  Surprise for her!

  Some of your surprises will be easy to organise. Some will take more planning.

  You might spend an hour (or more) setting up a gorgeous seduction for your mate, which is a lot, fair enough, but the end result (and this is no exaggeration) will be burned into the hard drive of her memory for the rest of their life. Great sex has that sort of effect on us.

  Do something slightly different every time you have sex. Throw in an element of surprise. Mixing it up will become second nature after a few weeks and the payoff will make it worthwhile. Try customising some of the following suggestions to get her going:

 
; Buy her half a case of her favourite wine (a dozen bottles is classier, but might be too much of a demand on your imagination). Around the neck of each, place a sealed envelope containing details of where and when you’re going to drink it together. These are IOUs of pleasure. Let your imagination run riot.

  One night when you’re getting amorous in a lovey-dovey sort of way, suddenly flip personality—change the whole atmosphere. From Dr Jekyll to Mr Hyde. Stop smiling. Get mean. Overcome her. Tie her wrists to the headboard and blindfold her. Now you can do whatever you like, but if you want to give her a night to remember (and especially if she’s still really pissed off with you), go down on her until she stops cursing and starts begging.

  Spend an hour or so pleasuring her sensually, such as oral sex, washing her hair, painting her toenails, applying body lotion to every inch of her skin or holding her and stroking her hair until she falls asleep. Don’t allow her to do a thing for you in return.

  17

  Two clichéd (and-that’s-because-they-work) fantasy role plays

  Before you know it, you’ll be down the local fancy-dress shop for your Robin Hood or nun’s outfit.

  Some people find costumes liberating and that they help them get into character. Some people find them inhibiting, not to say ridiculous. But don’t give up too early on them because they can help.

  Doctor and nurse

  It’s the end of another gruelling day on the wards. The nurse (either one of you) is looking exhausted. The doctor calls the nurse over and says, ‘You’re looking tired. Could you do with a complete examination?’ The doctor gets the examination table ready and asks the nurse to lie down on it. A complete medical later and the diagnosis is ‘nervous tension’. However, the doctor is conducting a scientific study into this condition, with some controversial treatment options. If the nurse is willing to take part in some medical experimentation and give feedback on how well the cure works, the doctor will demonstrate the technique…