Master and slave
One of you is the cruel master (or mistress); one is the gorgeous slave. The master is deciding whether to buy or not, which involves a thorough examination. The slave is wrapped in layers of clothes and drapes but is slowly stripped (or ordered to strip) so the master can confirm that the slave is in good physical condition—and that means that every bit of them is in good physical condition. Then, of course, the slave’s ability to follow orders and please the master will have to be tested…
Crack open a bottle (or two). As with all fantasy games, alcohol helps loosen you up. A lot.
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Another clichéd (and brilliant) fantasy role play
Pick a night to play out your fantasy, although sometimes it’s best just to go for it spontaneously as it helps you to feel less self-conscious.
Even if the first time is a disaster and lasts about two minutes before you start laughing, at least you’ve made a start. You won’t have to expend any money on special outfits unless you want to, as you can improvise with dressing up and props. Again, it helps if one of you (the one who will be dominant in the fantasy makes the most sense) takes control of organising and briefing the other on their role.
Boss and interviewee
The interviewee comes to the office after hours to be interviewed for their dream job. The interview starts normally: the interviewee is anxious to please and the interviewer is gracious. However, when they start discussing terms of employment, some of the terms are quite unusual. Late-night working? Threesomes with the head of personnel and the boss? Finally, there is an initiative test—how well the interviewee performs determines whether they get the job…
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Even more clichéd (and brilliant) fantasy role plays
Acting out fantasies takes a bit of practice, but can certainly brighten up a boring Saturday night.
First get into bed and talk dirty to one another. Read from some mildly pornographic books (or filthy pornographic books, if you like). Share some situations that turn you on mentally. Talk through the sorts of things you’d like to say or do.
Handyman and housewife
He arrives ready for work, but she insists he has a cup of tea and a chat. While she’s showing him the problem ‘with her pipes’, she gets into such a position that he can’t help noticing she’s not wearing any underwear…
Naughty maid and ‘master of the house’
She’s supposed to be cleaning the house when the ‘master’ comes home and discovers her ‘pleasuring’ herself instead. He’s furious and threatens her with dismissal. She is beside herself. She’ll lose her job. She has to think of something quick that will persuade him that sacking her is a bad idea…
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Pain games
In forgoing all control, there’s a whole heap of freedom.
What people love about hard-core health spas—the ones where you get timetables and set menus involving lots of lentils—is that you don’t have to think. You just do what you’re told. That’s what the submissive partner gets in B&D games.
The pain you experience in these sorts of games isn’t pain like when you catch your finger in the door. When pain is anticipated, it raises your heart rate and releases the feel-good hormones endorphins—just what happens during exercise. One effect of this is that you can experience heightened sexual pleasure and sensation. When things get painful, try deep steady breathing, which makes sexual sensations even stronger.
Spanking. Always warm up the spankee’s buttocks beforehand with some gentle slaps and then build up in a rhythmic way with gaps between strokes. The back of a hairbrush or a table tennis bat make good alternatives if your hand is getting sore. As a general rule, never hit any part of the body that is hard. In fact, don’t hit anything but the buttocks unless you know what you’re doing. After administering a whupping and when the skin is still pink and tingly, run your fingers gently over their skin. This will feel exquisite.
Nipple clamps. Experiment first with nipping close to orgasm to see if it’s you or your partner’s thang. Those who like this really like it.
We’re assuming that when we’re not dressing up as naughty schoolgirls and irate headmasters we’re all sensible adults and don’t need it spelt out that this is potentially dangerous stuff. When playing with power games that involve humiliation and control there’s always the chance you’ll hurt another person, and not just physically. You should both agree on a word beforehand that immediately signals ‘game’s over, time for lots of cuddling and reassurance’.
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Power games
For the dominant partner—what’s not to love? They get to do exactly what they want, exactly the way they like it.
This is perfect for anal compulsives, who most of the time can’t get the rest of us to do it their way. On our knees, on our back, tied up, tied down or licking the heel of your shoes for twenty minutes. It’s your call.
It goes without saying that all of this goes down well with a bit of role-play. Modify some of the following scenarios, or make up your own. It’s your night to shine. Or to be hogtied and locked in a cupboard, if that’s what lights your candle.
Tying up. Play with exposure (generally, the wider the limbs are spread, the more you feel like you’re open to the public—some people like that). Restraints on all four limbs are great for people who find it hard to come because of performance pressure to ‘get there’. Restraint puts you totally at the mercy of your partner. You are in their power. They have responsibility. You can relax. Whoosh. Was that an orgasm?
Gags. This is more a mind thing than anything else. It looks great and it makes you feel really helpless—loads of opportunity to flail your head from side to side in best teen-slasher movie style. Tongue over the gag, please. Blindfolds work, too. The more senses you cut off—sight, speech, hearing—the more you’re forced to concentrate on what you’re feeling.
And remember: no tying up for more than half an hour unless you’re an expert boy scout; never leave a tied up person alone without checking on them; no whips near the eyes.
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Danger (soft core)
Danger is the fastest-acting aphrodisiac.
In a famous experiment, an attractive scientist interviewed two groups of men. The first group had a standard interview. The second were interviewed after they’d crossed a particularly hairy rope bridge. By the time they were interviewed, their palms were sweaty and their hearts beating fast. This group of men found the same interviewer significantly more alluring. The danger had heightened their sexual response.
No one’s suggesting that you set yourself up for anything life threatening, but sharing adventures together will do the job—especially physical adventures. Adventures count as anything that gets your adrenaline flowing. It needn’t necessarily be dangerous. You’re simply seeking a shared experience that gets both of your hearts thumping.
Five (soft core) ideas:
Go to Alton Towers, Disneyland or anywhere with fast, high rides.
Dare each other.
Have sex where you might just be seen.
Stay the night somewhere reputedly haunted, but definitely creepy.
Shop at a sex shop together.
That old chestnut of making a list of six escapades to try and then letting a dice decide which you’ll undergo together brings a delicious thrill of Russian roulette to the proceedings.
If it all seems a bit out-doorsy for your partner try doing things differently, possibly pushing him out of his comfort zone a little. For example, suggest that you meet at the Prada in Madrid on a particular Saturday next month. You have to get there alone. You’re not allowed to confer in any way. Travel separately and check-in to separate hotels. Meet. It’s not exactly dangerous but you’ll have each had separate experiences, met different people and had to think outside the box—a first step to living more exciting lives.
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Danger (hard core)
Danger makes life seem more intense
and heightens sexual desire along with everything else.
In an experiment, male volunteers were each assigned an attractive female assistant. They were told the experiment was investigating electric shock treatments. Some men were told they were in the control group so they wouldn’t be receiving shocks. The rest were told they were going to receive painful jolts of electricity. Then they were asked how attracted they felt to their research partner. The ones who were nervously awaiting the shocks found the same women significantly more attractive than the control group.
As well as making life seem more intense danger provides that old old ‘caveman’ thing. Share danger together and the bloke gets the chance to look after the female, and she gets to feel all fragile and protected even if she’s a cut-throat investment banker who fries balls before breakfast in real life. If you’re feeling adventurous then here are four hard-core ideas:
Have sex when other people could definitely see you. (Be subtle—you don’t want to frighten the horses or get arrested.)
Go white-water rafting, bungee jumping or parachute jumping.
Take your clothes off at midnight at the end of your street.
Go to amateur night at your local comedy club together. Stand up and be funny.
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Dirty little secrets 1
The plan here is to create the sex equivalent of the perfect holiday.
You know something about your partner that no one else knows. OK, you two have secrets already—you know hundreds of things about your partner that no one else knows. But, by sharing sexual secrets, you become even closer. That’s because you underline the uniqueness of your relationship—no one else but you two knows these secrets. And, of course, creating the secrets is the real fun.
A good example of a sexual secret is to shave off each other’s pubic hair. This is still mildly shocking, though God knows why with the ubiquity of the Brazilian wax. Besides the frisson of naughtiness, there’s a practical reason to try shaving. Being hairless increases sensation, especially during oral sex. Plus, in a crowded room, you’ll be the only one who knows why they’re squirming about so much in their seat when the hair starts to regrow. But despite the itch, it’s well worth trying at least once because it really redefines the meaning of ‘intimacy’. First trim with small nail scissors (you see why this is so intimate), then bathe and then lather up with hair conditioner. Next, apply liberal amounts of shaving gel, and use disposable razors to carefully shave off the hair. Use your hand to smooth down areas like the labia to get a good line. Women, ask your man for advice—they know more about this than you do. You could experiment with heart shapes or trimming initials if you don’t want to go the whole way. Apply hypoallergenic lotion afterwards to soothe it all down, which also helps when the hair’s growing back. Besides the risqué, using daily everyday objects to filthy effect is another good ruse. For instance, use lipstick to draw around your penis, nipples or labia. Have your partner lick and suck it off. That takes a lot of suction and you’ll never hear the word ‘lipstick’ together again without looking at each other knowingly.
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Wait. We said wait! (For her)
Delay orgasm and you’ll know the true meaning of ‘climb every mountain’.
A woman’s biggest fear is that with the winning line in sight, he changes his stroke, everything goes pear-shaped and she doesn’t make it.
So, when a woman feels herself on the edge of an orgasm she’ll rush her way there. It’s hard-earned and she wants it now. But here’s another way for her to do it. On the point of orgasm, she could slow down, relax, breathe deeply, wait a moment or so and then let the tension build again. Experiment with this (either with your partner or while masturbating) to discover how long you have to stop—start, stop—start to get the most explosive orgasms. When you do allow yourself to come, clenching buttocks and inner thighs, deep breathing and pressing down just above your pubic bone all increase blood flow, which keeps the sensation going.
Theoretically, if a woman can come once, she can come multiple times. It’s commonly believed that straight after a woman has come, she can’t bear to have her clitoris touched. Sometimes true, but not always. Experiment with different techniques during masturbation. Swap to a different hand motion after you’ve come, or if you’re using a vibrator try a different hot spot. Keep stimulation constant, but varied. Once you have the hang of that, masturbate to orgasm and stop masturbating completely after the first orgasm. Wait thirty seconds and then apply the same stimulation to the clitoris again. Shorten the waiting period until you can keep the stimulation constant without it being uncomfortable, and experience orgasm after orgasm rolling over you.
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Wait. We said wait! (For him)
How to have more, longer and better orgasms.
Advocates of all ways Eastern recommend ‘injaculation’, a way that a man can experience multiple orgasms by ‘coming’ without ejaculation. This means he can go again right away, experience multiple bliss and, of course, keep going longer.
How to do it? Business as usual until just before the ‘point of no return’. Then swiftly, either you or your partner applies circular (quite heavy) pressure to your perineum, the space midway between your anus and the root of your penis. This causes pressure on the urethra and will stop you ejaculating, although you should still experience a deeply pleasurable, not to say mind-boggling, sensation. And you should still be hard—ready to play again should the mood take you. And it will, of course.
Play a game where you oil each other and try to give your mate an orgasm with a different part of your body from usual. You can also go for the blended orgasm. This means applying stimulation at different pleasure points so excitement mounts. He can stimulate her G-spot, her clitoris and her perineum one after another in rotation. She can stimulate the head of his penis, the shaft and the prostate in rotation. This takes time, but should result in a long delayed and sweeter blend of intense pleasure and melting ecstasy when you come.
‘The golden rule of kink: only play with people who play nice. ’Cause the ex who caught you cheating and now has you cuffed and blindfolded ain’t comin’ back.’
EM and LO
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Give yourself a real eye-opener
Explore voyeurism and exhibitionism and bring a completely new verboten edge to your sex life.
The following fantasy role-play depends on our love of looking and our love of being watched. Use it as a starting point to begin exploring your own voyeuristic or exhibitionistic fantasies—nearly all of us are turned on by one, and usually both. If you’d like to strip, but are too shy, then the ‘Peeping Tom’ fantasy in idea 28 is a good place to start. You can start dropping clothes without feeling self-conscious, as (ostensibly) you’re not doing it for an audience.
Imagine…
Your partner comes home to find the house lit by candles. You lead them to the bathroom where there is a scented bath waiting. You undress, blindfold and wash them. You don’t let them do anything for themselves. Then you lead them to the bedroom, also lit only by candles, where there’s a huge mirror propped to give a great reflection of the bed or, if that’s not possible, the floor covered in cushions and quilts. Remove the blindfold and then make love, staring at yourselves in the mirror, holding your lover’s gaze. Try half closing your eyes so that you can fantasise that it isn’t you, but another couple writhing inches away from you—accomplices at an orgy. Go one step further and imagine that the couple in the mirror are another couple that you’re observing—to help the illusion, disguise yourselves by wearing corsets, wigs, a new pair of heels, etc.
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Another real eye-opener
Here’s another fantasy role play based on exhibitionism and voyeurism.
Imagine…
In the morning, you give your partner explicit written instructions of what you want them to do and at what hour you want them to start. At ten minutes before the appointed hour, you go to your bedroom, move clothes out o
f your wardrobe into the spare room, place a chair in the wardrobe and sit inside it with the door open a crack so you can see the bed.
Your partner arrives in the bedroom. He or she follows the instructions you gave them earlier. They slowly begin to get ready for bed. If they get into it, this can be a long tease. They pass in and out of your field of vision, shedding clothes, trying on different clothes, lingerie or nightwear, examining their reflection, massaging in oils and creams before bed, phoning a friend and idly touching themselves as they talk, wandering out of the room to get themselves a drink. They are seemingly oblivious to your presence. Eventually they take up the position that you’ve stipulated and still ‘unaware’ that you’re there, they give serious attention to bringing themselves off in front of your eager gaze.
It can be very erotic to take turns ordering each other to perform. Some people love being ordered to strip or perform from the outset. Others hate it and bristle when their partner tells them what to do, even if it’s done in an encouraging way. So be sensitive, as for one or both of you it may have to be a natural development.
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Try another eye-opening fantasy
Welcome to our live bed show…
Imagine…
You are the stars of a live porn show. You’ve a clearly defined stage area (either your bed or a rug on your living room floor, brightly lit with spotlights). You both dress and prepare yourselves in your ‘dressing room’. You can hear the pounding music in the background that you’ll perform to and (imagine) the applause and excitement emanating from the audience. You take up position on your stage and begin to strip each other.
Erotic fantasies Page 3
