Hope(less)

by Melissa Haag

  Chapter 16

  I felt Clay hop up on my bed and forced my eyes open. Tremors still shook me, and the mid-morning light sent shafts of pain into my aching head. The last time this had happened, it had taken close to twenty-four hours of sleep before I woke up without a headache. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to sleep this one off. If I didn’t show up at the Compound on time, those Forlorn would come looking for me, and Clay would get hurt again.

  My mind worked sluggishly as I stared at the time. The clock displayed nine. It would take a little over eight hours to get to the Compound. We’d arrive around dinner.

  “C-clay, we need to get to the Compound. Can you drive?” I struggled to sit up. He cocked his fuzzy head at me. “A lot happened last night while you were gone. I’ll tell you about it on the way.”

  I tried to stand, but a wave of dizziness knocked me back onto the bed. Blood rushed to my head and pulsed in my ears. I almost didn’t hear Clay move while I sat there panting. I waited a moment, took a deep breath, then tried to stand again.

  This time, Clay wrapped an arm around me to help. He’d shifted. I glanced at the door. It stood ajar. Was Rachel still home? He needed to be more careful. My wandering eyes caught our reflection in the mirror.

  He stood beside me, looking down at me with concern. No wonder. I had my arm curled around his bare waist in a death grip, just to stay standing. My pale face enhanced the dark circles under my eyes. A frizzy mass of hair haloed my head. I looked like hell.

  He, however, looked—I stopped gazing at his naked chest long enough to see his eyes narrow—pissed. He’d just figured out what I’d done again, and for the first time, I experienced a sense of appreciation that he didn’t talk. Not wanting to meet his gaze, I decided to go back to enjoying the view. He wore jeans, unbuttoned and low on his hips. One arm wrapped around my shaking shoulders. He started to rub little circles on my skin with his thumb. He reached up with his other hand and lightly touched my forehead. Though he was upset with me, his concern was plain, as was...I squinted in an attempt to see clearly and then scowled.

  He once again sported bruises and what looked like a bite mark. How many challengers were there out there? I’d thought just a couple. He came home with bruises too often for it to be the same few. And a bite? I frowned at the mark on his shoulder, but my fuzzy brain distracted itself again. I lost my scowl. Even with his bruises and bite mark, Clay looked incredible. I would have drooled at the view he gave if I weren’t so sick.

  “I need to use the bathroom then start packing.”

  He nodded and helped me through the door. My head throbbed with each step. I leaned against him, let my head hang a little, and trusted him to guide me. Because of my position, I saw Rachel’s feet as she intercepted us.

  “Hi, Clay. How’d you get here?”

  I forced myself to look up. Still in her pajamas and sleep rumpled, she looked gorgeous. How she pulled that off, I had no idea. Concern filled her eyes when she took in the sight of me.

  “I called him. Sorry, Rachel, I didn’t want to bug you.”

  Her gaze drifted to Clay. “It’s okay, I get it.” She eyed Clay’s bare chest and his face as he continued to support me.

  I’d forgotten she hadn’t seen him cleaned up like I had. Although bruised and bitten probably wasn’t the best first impression, being shirtless kind of made up for it. She certainly wasn’t looking at him in a clinically concerned way, and it made me smile. Rachel was a free spirit and loved life. She didn’t mean anything when she looked, but I could sense it made Clay a little uncomfortable. I shivered again. Perfect timing.

  “Are you sure you should be going?” she asked, managing to look away from Clay.

  “Yeah, Clay’s going to pack for me, and then we’ll go. Oh, and he came by last night, saw the dog out, and took him home. We’ll take him with, so don’t worry.”

  I closed the bathroom door on both of them and focused on pulling myself together. I splashed some water on my face, leaned heavily on the sink, and ran my fingers through the snarls. It didn’t help much, but I didn’t think it would matter anyway with a long drive ahead of us. I took care of business and shuffled out of the bathroom to look for shoes, not concerned about changing.

  Clay came in from the back door before I could make it to the hall closet. He took one look at my chattering teeth and scooped me up in his arms.

  My squeal brought Rachel from her room before Clay could make it out the door.

  “When you’re feeling better, let’s talk about rental rates,” she called after us with a snicker. “And I’m not talking about the house!”

  A blanket waited for me in the front seat of the warmed car. My bulging messenger bag, packed to the point of bursting, sat on the back seat. I twisted, grabbed the cell phone from it while Clay closed my door, then I buckled up. My fuzzy slippers were on the floor, but I curled my legs under me instead and pulled the blanket snuggly around me.

  He slid in behind the wheel and took some time to better tuck the blanket around me. His hand smoothed over mine briefly before he pulled away and backed out of the driveway. I struggled to keep my eyes open. Sleep pulled at me.

  “I don’t want to keep going on like this,” I said once we cleared town.

  His hands noticeably tightened on the steering wheel, and I could have smacked my forehead if it wasn’t already hurting so badly.

  “I don’t mean being with you. I like that. But I don’t like seeing you bruised.”

  He loosened his tight hold on the wheel and glanced at me. A smile twitched his lips. I scowled at him.

  “There’s nothing amusing about it. I don’t like worrying.”

  I lifted my cell, dialed Sam’s number, and struggled to hold the phone to my ear. My arm trembled from the effort. Sam picked up during the first ring. I didn’t wait for his greeting.

  “I’m on my way. Put out a call for tonight only.” I hung up before he could speak. I wasn’t ready to talk to him. He’d hurt me too much with his last appearance.

  I tossed the phone on the back seat and ignored it when it started to vibrate again. My gaze drifted to Clay. He looked outright pissed now. He knew who I’d called and what I intended. I hurried to explain.

  “It’s not what you think, Clay. I don’t want to do another Introduction, but something happened last night. I went out with Rachel to a club downtown, not my best decision, but I think I’ve figured out what’s going on with me.” I shivered and pulled the blanket tighter around me. Sleep continued to tug at me.

  “Remember the party with Nicole? When I touched her, I gave her a huge shock. That happened again last night. I think I can transfer my gift, that thing with guys, to other people. I didn’t know how it happened the first time. But I think I’ve figured it out.

  “Last night, these two women at the club had been on their own until Rachel and I—and the groupies I’d collected—joined them. When we made to leave, the women had been so disappointed. They knew the guys would walk away when we did. I felt so bad for them that I went to...I don’t know...pat them, I guess. I’d just meant it as an ‘I’m sorry’ gesture, but then it happened again just like before. A huge shock.” My words started to slur, and I had a hard time keeping my thoughts coherent.

  “Both times I was thinking about how I wished I could help find the person they were meant to be with. And I think that’s the key.” I noticed the speedometer hovered ten miles over what I considered a safe speed, but I didn’t comment on it. “I don’t understand why I can see the lights, but I know it must be all tied together because when I try to use my sight, it hurts. Really bad.” Clay’s expression hadn’t changed, and I realized I’d skipped the explanation of why I’d agreed to an Introduction.

  “Oh, yeah. Before I shocked those two, a Forlorn came up behind me and started a conversation. My fish finder still worked then. There were more of them in the crowd, Clay
. The one talking to me said he just wanted a chance to say hi. He was very persistent so I told him I would see them at the Compound for an official Introduction. They left right after but gave me the impression that if I didn’t show up, they’d come looking for me. I got the feeling they’d been pushed too far.” I watched his face. “Has it been the same werewolves trying to see me or is it always different?”

  He didn’t answer, but I didn’t really expect him to. I sighed and snaked a hand out from under the blanket to touch his leg.

  “It hurts to see you like this, Clay. If I have to put up with an Introduction to keep you safe, then that’s what I’ll do.” My lids refused to cooperate any longer and drifted shut.

  “I’m sorry, Clay,” I mumbled sleepily. “I wish I could just get over my need for freedom and Claim you. We both know you’re the one. I just don’t want to lose myself.” I fell asleep without looking at him to see his reaction.