Her voice sounded quiet, almost tranquil to Casper. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know whether to be happy or hurt. Should I be smiling, or am I supposed to keep on weeping because I lost my baby? I have so many conflicting emotions running through me right now. I don’t know what to do.”
Casper reached his long arm across the table and patted her on the shoulder. “I can’t tell you how to feel. That’s something you have to deal with, but what I can tell you is that we still have some work to do.”
He could feel her body stiffen just as he removed his hand. “You’re talking about turning myself in?”
“Not literally turn yourself in like going to jail. But if you really want to ride this out all the way, we have some things we still need to do. I don’t see the district attorney prosecuting this case. For one, it was a stillbirth which means that it would not have been viable outside of the womb; and number two, you were a minor back then, so different rules, laws, and regulations will apply. If there is a charge, it might be for desecration of a corpse, but it’s unlikely that charge won’t stick because of the statute of limitations. However, it’s going to be your confession that will solve this case. There was no DNA taken from the baby; at least there is no evidence I could find that shows they took DNA. What is important for you right now is the medical examiner’s ruling, the statute of limitations, and the case would likely have been a misdemeanor, anyway.”
“A misdemeanor? Really?”
“Yes. You see in the state of Tennessee, both misdemeanors and felony cases must prove that you, the suspect in this instance, committed an unlawful act with criminal intent. You did neither.”
Envy’s hands trembled as she put her eyeglasses back on. “Oh, my gosh. Thank you, Lord.” She cleared her throat. “So, uh, what’s the next step?”
“I have a criminal case I’m trying that starts tomorrow, so don’t be alarmed if you don’t hear from me during the day. I’m going to contact the district attorney’s office after I leave court. I might have to call you after hours, if that’s all right.”
“Yes, whatever time you call is fine. Now that I know I didn’t murder my baby,” Envy paused. “It’s . . . well, it’s unexplainable what’s going through my mind right now. But yes”—she threw up both hands—“call me, whenever.”
“Good. As soon as I go over everything with the DA, I can let you know what to expect after that. But I don’t want you to do any unnecessary worrying.”
“What can I do? How can I thank you, Mr. Stephens?”
“I’ll get all the thanks I need when I see this case settled once and for all, and you can be at peace. But until then, you can do me one favor.” He smiled and so did Envy. “Please call me Casper.”
Envy chuckled lightly this time. “I hope you don’t mind,” she said. “But I think I’d like to eat some of those sushi rolls, after all . . . Casper.”
Casper laughed. “Great.”
After her dinner meeting with Casper, Envy felt as if a heavy burden had been removed from her shoulders—a burden that she had carried unnecessarily for all of these years. She got in her car. Before she left the parking lot, she tried to call Layla, but her phone went directly to voice mail. Next, she called Kacie.
Kacie answered. “I can’t talk right now, Envy. Kyland just cut his foot on a piece of glass. I’m headed to the emergency room.”
Envy heard Kyland screaming in the background. “Is he okay? Is it bad?”
“I think it’s going to require at least a couple of stitches. But I need to make sure there’s no glass in his foot. Look, I gotta go.” Kacie ended the call.
Envy then decided to do what she attempted to do a couple of weeks ago, and that was talk to Nikkei. No matter how distant their relationship, the truth about her past needed to be told. She dialed Nikkei’s number. Surprisingly, she answered the phone.
“Hello, Envy,” she said, having apparently looked at her caller ID.
“Hi, Nikkei. How are you, the kids, and my brother-in-law?”
“Everyone is fine. What’s going on with you?”
They both sounded dry over the phone. It always seemed like they had to force a conversation with each other.
“I was thinking about coming over there. I stopped by a couple of Sundays ago, but no one was there.”
“Did you call before you came?” asked Nikkei.
Envy sucked in her breath, refusing to allow Nikkei to send her to that not-so-pleasant place she often went when it came to her sister. “No, I just dropped by. Do you have some time today? I know how busy you are running the kids from one activity to the next.”
“That’s not all I do, you know.”
“I wasn’t insinuating that it was all you do. Look, Nikkei, I really need to talk to you about something. It’s serious. Just tell me when will be a good time. I don’t want to argue with you, I want to talk. There are a lot of things you need to know.”
Silence infiltrated the phone for seconds.
“Okay, can you come now? Mya is at liturgical dance rehearsal and T.J. is at football practice.”
“Yes, I can come now, but what about T’juan? I don’t want to intrude on any hubby-and-wife private time.” Envy laughed lightly into the phone.
“T’juan drove to Jackson, Mississippi on business this morning. He’ll won’t be back until tomorrow morning, so now is as good as it’s going to get.”
“Okay, I’m on my way. I’m coming from downtown, so it’ll take me about thirty or forty minutes.”
“See you when you get here,” Nikkei said. “Bye.”
“Bye,” replied Envy, and ended the call. There was a lot Envy needed to say to Nikkei, starting with an apology for not being the kind of sister that Nikkei deserved. They never hung out together, rarely talked, and Envy’s interaction with her ten and twelve-year old niece and nephew was practically nonexistent. With all that had happened today, Envy realized even more that there were other things she had allowed to separate her from living her best life now. Holding on to the past, and not moving forward into the future, had cost her dearly. She prayed silently that Nikkei would hear her out. Envy surmised that she had to move past the guilt if she was ever going to have a full future.
On the drive to Nikkei’s, Envy tried reaching Layla again. And again, Layla’s phone went straight to voice mail. She was still angry about Layla and Tyreek arranging to meet. It didn’t matter that she didn’t want him for more than sex, but him choosing Layla? Ugh, how could he? The time would come soon enough for her to get things straight with Tyreek, but right now her good news outweighed the unpleasant thoughts she had about the two of them. Layla would be glad to hear that she would be free to move on with her life.
Envy decided to text Layla, something that she usually didn’t do while driving, but now she was just plain curious as to where Layla could be. She texted her the good news. Surely, Layla would call back.
Envy heard the chime on her cell phone and glanced at the text message on the screen. Yaaa, hallelujah. Busy now will call u soon as I can, the message said from Layla. Envy smiled.
On the way to her sister’s, Envy couldn’t quiet the mounting jealousy taking root on the inside of her. It was one area in her life that she would have to tackle next. Tyreek was her main go-to man, other than Leonard. She wasn’t about to lose him to the likes of Layla. She kept her sexual lifestyle her private business. Kacie and Layla only knew so much about it. Sure, they may have implied that she slept around, but they hadn’t the faintest idea how much or with whom, except for Leonard. The men in her life were reserved for her, and only her, and it was nobody’s business who they were. She decided to call Tyreek.
He answered. So much background noise filtered through his cell phone that she had to almost scream. “I want to see you tonight. Be at my house no later than ten-thirty,” she demanded as usual. She knew that he couldn’t say no to her. He never had. Layla may not have known about her and Tyreek, but tonight Tyreek was going to be told to keep his
goods to himself—and to her.
“I can’t,” he answered quickly, like he hadn’t given it a moment’s thought.
She yelled back so loud, it was obvious that his response to her far outweighed the good news she had received from Casper earlier. “What do you mean, you can’t? I know your schedule like the back of my hand, Tyreek. You do not have to close tonight; so, like I said, be here at ten-thirty.”
“And like I said, I can’t. I have plans.” The way he came off was almost biting and cold. Envy didn’t understand. From what Layla had told her and Kacie, tonight would be the first night that she and Tyreek were going out. So why would he put her off for Layla, some chick he knew nothing about? Envy was furious.
“Who is she?” She demanded to hear him say that it was someone else. She wanted him to say Layla’s name. That would be her cue to roast him real good.
“Look, I know you hear all this noise in the background. You can tell it’s on and popping in here. I have to go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Hello,” Envy said into her Bluetooth. “Hello,” she said again. The phone went silent. Tyreek had hung up. “Ughh! I am so doggone mad. How dare his trifling behind hang up on me!” Envy declared to the empty car.
I don’t know what he thinks is so special about Layla. I bet if he saw some of her fat pictures, he would change his mind about going out with her in a heartbeat, Envy said sourly. But why am I so worried? I didn’t want to see him, anyway, plus I can call Leonard, Cedric, and any other man listed in my ladies’ little red book. Your loss, Tyreek, because you’ll never win this game.
She turned up the radio to the gospel station and listened to an old song playing, and sang along: “Lord, you’ve been so faithful, even though sometimes I didn’t do what you wanted me to dewwww.”
Envy let her thoughts wander back to her sister. It would be hard to tell Nikkei about everything, but Envy concluded that it was only fair that Nikkei should know; she was the only sibling she had. Certainly if she confided in Kacie and Layla, she had to give Nikkei the same courtesy.
Envy continued her drive to Nikkei’s. Soon she tuned out the music playing and her thoughts about Tyreek and Layla. Maybe her life was about to make a turn for the better. Maybe a change was about to come. What would the face in the mirror have to say about that? The faint beginnings of a smile formed as she pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose. Life may not be fair, but she was in it to win it—at all costs.
15
Frustration is the wet nurse of violence.
Kacie made sure all the kids had their baths before she instructed them to go to their rooms. Kyland required three stiches and the doctors did find a few small pieces of glass that they removed without any problems. The pain medicine had him knocked out, and Kacie was glad. Hopefully, he would sleep through the night.
“Kassandra, you, and Keith watch the little ones. Make sure y’all are in bed by nine o’clock.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Kassandra and Keith answered, and then disappeared into the back of the house.
Kacie huffed audibly when she thought about the European Lit paper that was due the next day. At least she had started on it. Hopefully it wouldn’t take too long for her to finish. In addition, she had to make up for the time she missed from work due to taking Kenny to court, and if that wasn’t enough, to add to her list of maladies, her legs ached like “nobody’s business,” as her late grandmother used to say.
She crawled up into her bed and pulled out the used laptop she purchased at a good price from one of the local pawnshops. While waiting on it to power up, she got up and went to the bathroom to get some green rubbing alcohol to massage her legs. It would be nice to have someone who loved me enough to take care of me when I’m down. Who would massage my legs when they’re aching like this. Someone who would love me just for me; see the beauty that I have on the inside and not be concerned with my physical challenges. She sat on the bed and rubbed her legs slowly, hoping that the alcohol would give her some relief. She had pain meds she could take, but then she would be out like a light, and would never finish her school paper.
Kacie picked up the phone after she finished rubbing her legs down.
“Thomas, are you on your way with my son?” she asked. “He needs to get his behind here. He still has chores to do and I’m sure he has homework too.”
“I’ll be there with him in a couple of hours,” he told her.
“Get him home, Thomas. Two hours is too late, and you know it’s a school night. I don’t care if he is with you.”
Thomas replied with sternness in his voice. “Yeah, okay. He’ll be there. Peace out.”
Kacie ended the call and looked at her computer. It had finally powered up. She was tempted to go online, but she decided to hold off on a bit of pleasure and chose to complete the 850-word paper.
Being in school helped to boost her self-esteem. To her surprise, quite a few of the students were in her age bracket. She’d met a few girls she placed in the category of associates, but none of them would be close to her like Envy and Layla. As for the men, there were certainly plenty of them walking around the campus, looking fine and smelling good, and there was temptation to be the aggressor, but so far she’d held off. After her traumatic experience and breakup with Deacon Riggs, she planned to be extra careful when it came to guarding her heart. She had seven kids now, and she was done with being used like a gas station, with men only coming to her for fill-ups.
The fact that she had cerebral palsy shouldn’t matter, but it did. It weighed heavily on Kacie’s mind, especially when she looked at her kids. In each of them, she was reminded of how easily she had given in to the men in her life. But what else did she have to give but her body, and she was far from being a brick house. It was sad to know that men were visual creatures, because that meant her chances of someone falling for her because of looks was even lower than the average looking females. She had a lot to contend with, and on top of being physically challenged, she was tied down with seven children. Of those seven, Kenny was already starting to give her trouble.
Kacie pushed herself to concentrate long enough to finish the last half of her paper. The doorbell rang.
“I got it,” she heard Keith say.
“No, let me get it,” said Kassandra, sounding as bossy as ever.
Kacie made it to the door before either of them. “Neither one of y’all are going to get it. Get back there in your room like I told you. And isn’t it nine o’clock? You know you’re supposed to be in the bed,” she scolded.
She opened the door. Thomas stood on the other side. “Special delivery,” he said sarcastically. “Here he is.” He immediately lit in on Kacie. “You need to do a better job than what you’re doing.”
Kenny walked past her and mumbled, “Hello.”
“Go in there and get those clothes off while I talk to your daddy,” she ordered.
“My boy don’t need to be tied down watching your rug rats, and he sho don’t need to be having one of his own. So I’m giving you fair warning, right here and right now,” he said while he remained at the entrance to her front door. “If I so much as think I hear a rumor, anything that he’s into some more unnecessary mess because you ain’t doing your job like a real mama should, he’s coming to live with me.”
“Are you a fool?” she yelled. “Get out of my face talking that nonsense!” Kacie used all of her strength to close the door in Thomas’s face, but he positioned the palm of his hand flat on the other side. The door wouldn’t budge.
“This conversation isn’t over until I say it’s over. Now, like I said, you better get your act together. I’m dead serious, Kacie. You got all of these kids running around here, no discipline, no rules, nothing.” He pointed a threatening finger inches from her face.
Her heart beat against her chest; she was scared. Thomas could become violent if she pushed him too far. She had been the landing pad for many of his punches. Tonight she was not about to let him get to the point wher
e he wanted to beat her down. Her body couldn’t take any more beatings, no more babies, no more pain period.
“Listen, Thomas. I’m doing my best. I told you that you’re going to have to start stepping up and spending more time with your son. And you got me messed up if you think he’ll ever come live with you. That’s a story you need to feed to some of your other baby mamas out there.”
“Who do you think you’re talking to? I’ll slap the taste out of your mouth.”
Kacie tried to regain control of a situation that could quickly spiral out of control. “Look, all I need is your support, and for you to check on him. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get from in front of this door. My legs are killing me, and the cold air is not good for my body. You already know that, so let’s call a truce for tonight.”
Thomas’s bold black eyes looked her up and down. His face displayed a look of harshness and cruelty. She could see the arteries throbbing in the side of his neck. He was nearing his boiling point.
“Thomas, what do you say? Let’s call it a night. I’ll do better with Kenny. I promise.”
Kacie saw his body deflate like air forced from a balloon. She mentally said, Thank you, Lord.
“Yeah, whatever. Just remember what I said about my son.” He turned and walked off. This time Kacie exhaled, closed the door, and leaned her body against it. “Um, glad that’s over. I can’t stand that man,” she said to no one. “He may be good to Kenny, but he’s a hellion when it comes to me. Kenny!” she yelled. “Get your behind in here right now.” Somebody was going to pay for the way Thomas had just treated her. Who better than his son?
“Ma’am,” the boy answered.
“I can’t believe you had the nerve to turn on me in court today. You outright lied in front of my face.”
“But, Momma. . . ,” he said in a sad voice.
Kacie slapped him so hard across his face that he stumbled backward and fell on the sofa. “Don’t you ever in your life turn against me, boy. I’m the one that’s raising you. Not your sorry daddy, not that slut who you were laying down with, nobody but me!” She continued to yell at him. “You never supposed to go against blood, especially your mama. Do you understand me?” Kacie stood over him while he remained lying back on the couch.
True Beauty Page 13
