True Beauty

by Shelia E. (Lipsey) Bell

  Layla hit the Talk button on her phone. After five rings, Dennis answered.

  “Hello.”

  “Dennis, it’s Layla. What’s up?” she asked nonchalantly.

  “Whaddaya mean, whuzzup? Why don’t you care about me anymore, Layla?” His speech was slurred. It was unusual to hear his words jumbled because Dennis wasn’t a drinker. He may have had a glass of wine every blue moon. But the way his words were coming out, it was obvious that he’d had more than a glass or two of alcohol.

  “Dennis, what are you talking about? Have you been drinking?” Layla asked.

  “If you were so concerned about me, then we would still be together. You wouldn’t be running around with other men. I know that you’ve been cheating on me.”

  “First of all, I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about. I have not cheated on you, because I am not your woman and you are not my man. I have told you that. I’ve tried to be as truthful as I could without hurting you. You are special to me, and you always will be.”

  “Special’? I don’t wanna hear that.”

  “All I can say is that I didn’t mean to hurt you, but it was unfair to you and to me to keep seeing each other, when I knew I didn’t want the same kind of relationship you wanted.”

  “You used to want it. You used to love me. Now you’re running round, God knows where, sleeping with somebody else,” he accused her in a drunken tone. “Envy calling here at two, three o’clock in the morning, looking for you. You think I’m stupid? You think I’m dumb, Layla? Well, I’m nobody’s fool, not even yours.”

  “What are you talking about? What does Envy have to do with us? And why would she call you looking for me?”

  “You ask your girl why she called. I guess your game ain’t as smooth as hers. But you tell her to call whoever you were with from now on. Leave me alone,” he said in a harsh voice.

  “When did Envy call you, Dennis?” Layla tried to make some sense of what he was saying.

  “I don’t know. A week, two weeks, yesterday, a month, I don’t know. She’s your friend. Hey, why don’t you ask her? And tell her not to call me ever again.”

  “Look, don’t accuse me of something that you heard from somebody else. I don’t know what’s up with you, and I don’t know what’s up with Envy. But I’m a grown woman. I do what I want, when I want. I don’t answer to you, Envy, and nobody else, but God!” Layla yelled.

  “Don’t you bring God up in this. You need to take a look at yourself in the mirror for real. You fooling yourself.” His speech was warped by the liquor, but Layla still understood every cutting word.

  “Right now, I’m trying hard to excuse what you’re saying, Dennis, because you’re intoxicated. But I do have respect for myself, and no matter what you may think, I also have reverence for God. I’m sorry that you believe I’ve committed some adulterous act against you, whatever you want to call it, but that’s you and your assumptions,” she responded sharply.

  “What do you expect me to think, when you’ve been going behind my back seeing other men? We were supposed to be committed to one another. Since our relationship started, not one time have I ever entertained the thought of going out or spending time with another woman. And don’t think I haven’t had offers either, because I have. But I was committed to you and the relationship I thought we had. I never did anything to jeopardize it.”

  Layla sighed into the phone and returned to sit down. This time she sat in her recliner, which she usually reserved for reading. Her nerves tensed immediately. “I told you that I’m sorry for hurting you. You really are a good man.”

  “Oh, I know that I’m a good man,” he said in a tough, raw voice. “See, unlike you, I don’t need to have my ego stroked in order to feel good about myself. I know that I am a God-fearing man. I loved you. I wanted to marry you. But like you told me, we don’t have anything anymore. You wanted out, so that’s the way it is. I can accept it. But I needed to let you know what was on my mind.”

  “Good, then you’ve let me know, so I don’t see that we have anything else to discuss. And if Envy or anybody ever calls you again looking for me, do me a favor and don’t call me whining about it. I’m sick of all of this mess.”

  “You talk a good talk, but until you can come to terms with who you are on the inside, until you can learn what true beauty is, then there’s nothing I can do or say that’ll change anything.” After an insulting pause, he came back with more angry, verbal attacks. “All I can do is pray that one day you’ll look in the mirror and see that it’s not what you look like on the outside that made me fall in love with you. And any other man that you meet out there, I hope he isn’t superficial and vain, because if he is, then he’ll miss out on the Layla I used to know. I pity you. . . .” His voice trailed away, like he’d said enough.

  “Dennis, let me tell you some . . . Hello? Hello? Dennis?” The only reply she got was a dial tone. Dennis had hung up.

  Layla called Envy repeatedly. She was going to get some answers. She didn’t care if it took her calling Envy all night long. If she had to camp out on her doorstep, she was ready to do that too. Whatever Envy was up to, Layla was going to find out— and she was going to find out before the sun came up.

  22

  Jealous people poison their own banquet and then eat it.

  Layla pushed aside her thoughts about Envy meeting Tyreek and exchanged them for thoughts about why Envy called Dennis. For the sixth or seventh time, she called Envy’s number. No answer. It wasn’t until eight-thirty in the evening that Envy answered her phone.

  “Hey, girl,” Envy immediately said before Layla could say a word. “I know you want to know what your boy said about you, but I’ve been busy all day long, and now I have company. I’ll have to tell you about everything tomorrow.”

  “No, we won’t talk tomorrow. We’re going to talk now,” Layla said with tremendous force and anger. “I don’t want to hear about Tyreek or what your lawyer said.”

  “What is your problem?” Envy asked.

  “Naw, honey, what is your problem?” Layla jumped in with a voice full of attitude.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You know good and well what I’m talking about. You had no right whatsoever to call Dennis at two o’clock in the morning, lying on me. What is wrong with you? It’s beginning to sound like you can’t handle someone who’s got it going on besides you.”

  “Look, Layla, I don’t have time to listen to you tripping about whatever it is you’re talking about. Like I said, I have company, so whatever you’re bellyaching about, why don’t you go get you a hot box of Church’s fried chicken and an apple pie. That ought to calm you down. ’Cause right now, you’re flat-foot trippin’.”

  “How dare you. That’s what you’d like, isn’t it, Envy? You want to see me fat and out of shape again. But to stoop so low as to call and hurt Dennis with your lies. That’s low for even someone like you.” Layla seethed with anger.

  “I called Dennis one time, Layla. It was because I needed to talk to you. I had something on my mind and I panicked when I couldn’t reach you, so I called him because I knew if you weren’t at home at two in the morning, then you had to have been with him. But I was mistaken and surprised.”

  “That’s a bold-faced lie, and you know it!” Layla yelled into the phone. She was heated. “You never bothered to tell me you even talked to Dennis. You tried to put doubt in Dennis’s mind, and you did. But you didn’t hurt me; you hurt him.”

  “Girl, please. I talked to you that same night I talked to Dennis.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me that you called him then, if you were straight up? I’ll tell you why, ’cause you wanted to be messy for whatever reason.”

  “Look, I didn’t think you were out with some buster you’d just met. I was just being concerned about you. But, oh, well; I guess I was wrong. Anyway, don’t call here trying to go off on me because you and your man are having issues.”

  “All these years tha
t we’ve been friends and you turn out to be a backstabbing, lying . . . Dang, I wish I could call you what I want to call you. Thank God for the Christ in me.”

  Envy laughed so loud in the phone that Layla pulled her cell phone away from her ear.

  “I am busy, Layla. I refuse to entertain your immature behavior. Why don’t you sleep on whatever it is that’s got you whining like a little girl, and tomorrow maybe the two of us can talk about this like real women. Bye.” The call ended.

  Layla held the phone back and inspected it. “She has some nerve. Oh, but she’s going to get hers. I’m going to make sure of that,” she muttered aloud.

  Layla marched to the bathroom, undressed, and took a shower. After that, she went into her bedroom, put on her favorite pink pajamas, which her dear mother had given her for Christmas, and lay back on the bed. She wanted to call her mother, but it was too late. Her parents were usually in bed by eight-thirty every night and up by five every morning. She never could understand why they did that, but it worked for them. She called Kacie again and told her what Envy had said.

  “I’m sorry, but I had to call and tell you about your friend,” Layla said.

  “She’s our friend, Layla, not just mine. What happened?”

  “Do you know she had the audacity to call and give Dennis the impression that I’m cheating on him?”

  “What? Why would she do something like that? It doesn’t make sense. Who told you this, anyway? And I thought you and Dennis were a done deal?”

  “We are, but he just called and we got into it bad. Anyway, while we’re arguing, he brings up Envy. Said that she called his house looking for me.”

  “Wait a minute. I’m getting confused here. Why didn’t she call you? When was this?”

  “Kacie, listen. It doesn’t matter when she did it, the thing is she did, and that was foul. Anyway, she called him at two o’clock in the morning, pretending like she was looking for me. She flat-out lied, talking about how she thought since I didn’t answer my cell phone that I must have been at his house, when she knew good and well that I wasn’t. I haven’t spent the night at Dennis’s in I don’t know how long. You and Envy both know that.”

  “I know, but when did she do this?” asked Kacie.

  “I said I don’t know. Dennis was drunk. I couldn’t get much sense out of him.”

  “Dennis? Drunk? This is starting to sound crazy. I’ve never known him to drink, let alone to get drunk. That’s not the Dennis I know.”

  “I guess he’s still hurt ’cause I told him I don’t want to be with him. I care about him, Kacie, but I am not in love with the man. Maybe I never was in love with him. He was there when I needed someone, and maybe I mistook it for love.”

  “But what does any of this have to do with Envy? Why would she try to throw salt on you like that? Something else has to be going on, Layla. Envy is not like that.”

  “Yeah, I thought so too, until me and her got into it when I called her out on it.”

  “But I thought you hadn’t talked to Envy?”

  “I called her after I talked to Dennis, and this time she answered the phone. But you are not going to believe how she talked to me.”

  “What did she say?” Kacie asked.

  “She had the nerve to say that I was jealous of her and that maybe I needed to go and get some Church’s fried chicken to calm my nerves. Talking about I’m acting like a child. Then she had the audacity to hang up in my face. Kacie, girl, you just don’t know. I wish I could have reached through that phone and knocked every tooth out of her mouth.”

  “Oh, my goodness. I can’t believe this. I need to call and talk to her. Something doesn’t sound right,” said Kacie.

  “No, don’t call her, especially not on my behalf. When I see her in person, I plan on showing her exactly how I feel.”

  “Look, there is going to be no fighting between the two of you. We have been friends too long for something like this to come between us. This is straight from the devil. He’s just trying to cause dissension.”

  “Well, he’s sure doing a good job of it. I’m not going to be talked down to by anyone ever again. I’ve lived my life far too long with people making fun of me, laughing and pointing at me, and you think I’m going to let someone who is supposed to be my friend betray me and talk down to me? No, no, no. I’m not taking it, Kacie. She can go right on about her way.”

  “Layla, will you shut up and listen for a minute? Let me talk to her. There has to be a reasonable explanation for her actions. You know for yourself that she’s been stressed out trying to deal with rectifying her past. It’s taken a lot out of her. So let me talk to her and I’ll get with you tomorrow, okay?”

  “I don’t know, Kacie.”

  “Please, will you at least do it for me? We all have gone through some tough times, but it’s a new season and great things are in store for all of us. I truly believe that.”

  Layla hesitated before speaking. “Ummm, allright.”

  Kacie exhaled. “Great. Now, last question.”

  “What?”

  “Are you sure there’s no chance of you and Dennis patching things up?”

  “Honestly, Kacie, I don’t want to patch things up with him. Talking to him again just made me that more certain that it is over for good. And I really like Tyreek. I want to see where things can go with him.”

  “But you haven’t known him long, Layla. I’m not saying anything negative about him, because I don’t know the man. I can only go by what you say about him, and you say that he’s a really nice guy. But you know Dennis loves you, and I just don’t want to see your relationship fall apart.”

  “Our relationship has already fallen apart. All I know is that Dennis came into my life when I was vulnerable, not feeling good about myself at all, and in a bad place mentally and emotionally. He is a great man. He’s been nothing but good to me. However, it’s not about Dennis loving me, Kacie. It’s about me. For the first time in my life, I’m thinking of me, how I feel, and what I want.” Layla spoke with force.

  “And what you want is Tyreek?”

  “Not necessarily. I’m just saying that I like Tyreek. And I want to see what’s up with him.”

  “I see. Well, seems like I have a lot of praying to do. I’m not about to sit back and allow the enemy to destroy you and Envy’s friendship. The devil is a liar,” Kacie said in an elevated voice.

  “Yeah, and so is Envy. I wish you could have heard her. I’m still in shock. I can’t even go to sleep.”

  “Pray, and I’ll pray too.”

  “I already prayed,” replied Layla. “But I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Maybe by then, you would have talked some sense into that dimwitted friend of yours. I can’t stomach her anymore right now.”

  “Pray some more. Lay yourself down and ask God to rock you to sleep. This stuff that’s going on now isn’t worth losing sleep over. Do not give in to the devil’s tactics. You hear me?”

  “Yeah, I hear you. Thanks for listening. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Good night, Layla. I’m going to call Envy. Buh-bye.”

  “Good luck with that phone call. Anyway, nighty-night.” Layla ended the call.

  After Layla finished talking to Kacie she thought about the relationship her parents had. Would she ever have a divine mate like her mother and daddy were to each other? Forty-two years of marriage and they still acted madly in love. They still held hands when they went out together. They still, as her father often said, courted each other. Her mother never worked outside of the home, except on a few occasions, and that was because she wanted to have something to do when all the kids were in school. It wasn’t because of money, because Daddy made sure he was the breadwinner of the family. Everything they did was based on the Word of God. If there was a problem, they prayed about it. If there was a need, they prayed about it. If there was sickness, they prayed about it. And they still remained like that today.

  Layla had never heard them angrily disagree with each other, and th
ere was not a time she could remember where either one of them ever walked out in anger. Maybe those times did exist, but Layla could never attest to seeing or hearing it.

  She would call and talk to her mother tomorrow. She wouldn’t tell her all of the details, but Layla planned to tell her just enough for her mother to give her some much-needed godly and woman-to-woman advice.

  Layla got out of the bed and knelt beside it to say her nightly prayers. By habit, she started by reciting, “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. . . .”

  When she finished praying, she got in bed and tried to sleep, but she was still too furious with Envy. She sat up on the side of the bed and thought of the reason Envy had turned on her. Whatever it was, she was ready to fight fire with fire, if that was the way Envy wanted it.

  The phone startled her. It was Tyreek’s ringtone. Layla smiled while she pushed the talk button. “Hello,” she said.

  “Hey, whatcha doing?”

  “Seething.”

  “What’s got you upset?”

  “I heard you met one of my used-to-be best friends.”

  Silence infiltrated the phone line for several seconds.

  “Hello? Hello?” Layla asked into the phone.

  “I’m here. Yeah, I did. And that’s why I’m calling. We need to talk.”

  “Talk about what? And when?”

  “Your friend. And you. Tonight.”

  “Tonight? Okay, go for it. What happened? I already know the girl been trippin’. I don’t know what’s up with her.”

  “I’ll be there in fifteen or twenty minutes. I’m getting ready to leave work now.”

  “Oh, you want to come over here? I don’t know about that, Tyreek. It’s late. And you know—”

  “Layla, believe me. I cannot talk about this over the phone. Please, I need to see you face-to-face.”

  “Tyreek, you’re scaring me. What is it?”

  “Can I come over?” he asked again.