Covenant (Sojourner Book 2)

by Maria Rachel Hooley

  I fly to the Lower Realm, mulling over options. Where does Evan while away his hours here? The only place I can think of recently is a small chapel in the cemetery where Evan was last the caretaker. He was obsessed with that chapel and he’d visit it every morning. I never understood it because I figured there were so many other places to worship.

  Without realizing that is where I have decided to go, I fly that way, landing near my own grave. More flowers. That tells me Elizabeth has been here not too long ago. There’s no other mortal who would still adorn my headstone. I stand for a moment, appreciating the simple beauty of her selfless act. Then I trudge across the bridge and back behind the bramble and overgrowth to an old rustic cabin with stained glass windows. I glance around and find that it would be difficult for mortals to even know this place existed. That explains why the door isn’t locked. The knob turns easily in my hand and I step into a room with about five pews and a pulpit centered right at the front. The sunlight pours through the windows, casting colored shadows all around.

  It’s a simplistic sort of beauty, and I find myself walking toward the front pew and taking a seat. I can see why Evan would want to pass time here. It is relaxing and private. But would he have hidden the dagger here?

  I rise and walk down the aisle toward the pulpit adorned with a simple silver cross. More for guidance than anything else, I reach out and touch it. That’s when the cross flares to life, glowing brilliantly at the touch of my hand. Frowning, I run my fingers across it, intrigued.

  Could this be it?

  I trace my fingers around it, and a strange thing happens once I’ve completed the perimeter. It suddenly begins to rise away from the surface until it no longer looks like a cross but the hologram that Kane showed me. At this point, I’m wondering how Kane even knew about the dagger’s existence in the first place. And why would a dagger that obliterates memory be so important to sojourners, anyway, particularly a sojourner like Evan who patently refused to entangle himself in most of the affairs of mortals?

  So many questions about a dagger I had never heard of. It still seems there are holes in my memories I can’t account for. Otherwise, I would remember the age-old quarrel between myself and Jayzee and Sarah.

  “Lev? What are you doing?”

  In my haste to conceal what I am doing, I drop the dagger and it clatters loudly against the floor. Whirling, I find Celia standing there. Immediately I can sense the overwhelming chaos building within her. Her lips are parted into a small ‘o’, and she stares at me, her eyes wide with confusion.

  “None of your concern.” Even as I speak, my hand is groping the floor in search of the dagger. I know it has to be close. It has to. Yet my fingers can’t seem to find it.

  “None of my concern?” She glances around the small chapel incredulously. “This isn’t your place, and yet here you are, acting strangely. I don’t know what’s gotten into you.”

  At last my fingers encircle the dagger, and I exhale in relief, hoping perhaps I can conceal my actions before Celia figures out what is up. She may not even know about the dagger. Or, if she does, she may not know where Evan hides the blade, and that might keep my efforts a secret. At least for now. With any luck, I might even be able to replace the dagger before Evan figures out what I’ve done.

  “What’s gotten into me?” I carefully slip the dagger inside the waistband of my pants and slowly rise, wondering if she will be able to see the tell-tale out outline of the weapon. “Perhaps what has gotten into me is all the ways you and Evan have been trying to keep me from remembering things I have a right to remember, Celia.”

  As I stand, I see the outline where the dagger was concealed in the pulpit and I step to try to block it from her view. I’m not sure she even knows about the weapon, but if she does, that empty spot is a dead giveaway about what I’m doing here.

  “And what would you have us do, Lev?” Celia’s gaze never leaves my face, so she doesn’t realize what I’m doing. “Would you have us watch you torture yourself every day with truth you can’t change? Would you like us to enjoy your suffering as much as you do?”

  My hands twitch at my sides, and I feel my fingers curling into fists at her words. “I would have the truth, no matter how much it hurts. It’s the same truth Elizabeth has been condemned to deal with, so why should she suffer alone? She’s done nothing to deserve any of this, and yet because of my folly, she’s endured many things she should not have had to. And I should be so blessed as to forget what has happened?” I shake my head in disbelief.

  She looks at the ground, a flush lining her cheeks. The chaos swirls within both of us unpredictably, and it’s ready to consuming both of us. “You don’t understand just how dangerous these waters are and choose to swim anyway. You blame us for trying to make things bearable and then turn to angels who do not have your best interest at heart.”

  “Well, perhaps I would have known that if I’d still had my memory. Perhaps I’d have been able to tell which angels were on my side and which I’d have offended over the years—if I’d had my past to rely on. I do not understand why those memories were wiped away to begin with. They had nothing to do with Elizabeth. Nothing.”

  “Didn’t they?” Celia steps toward me, and the chaos within me suddenly amps up as I fear she will discover what I am trying so desperately to keep hidden. “You and Elizabeth had been through so many of her lifetimes. You had been at this one lesson for so long it fused to many of your memories, Lev. Unless he wiped them all out, you would remember, and that was what he struggled so hard to take from you—the pain of remembering.”

  This body tenses, and I want to lash out at something. Unfortunately, Celia happens to be what is closest. “And the rest of my memories were just collateral damage? Is that what you are trying to tell me? Because if it is, I’m not buying it.”

  Frowning, Celia steps towards me. In a flash, she slips her hands on my arms just above my elbows. “Lev, listen to me. You were out of your mind with grief when you realized you and Elizabeth would never be able to be together again. It almost destroyed you. The chaos was too great, and you had no way of fighting. Evan knew the only way he could help you was to find a way to dampen the effect of the memories. That meant he had to erase them.”

  I jerk away. “And how do you know I wouldn’t have preferred the destruction to forgetting Elizabeth? How do you know?”

  At that moment, I hear Celia gasp. I see her staring beyond me at the outline in the pulpit. It still glows, illuminating the absence of the dagger. So there is no concealing what I am doing.

  “Lev, what have you done?” All the anger is gone, leaving only chaos and panic surging through her.

  “What I had to. For Elizabeth.” I turn to fly away, but I don’t realize just how fast she is. In an instant, she is there, blocking my path.

  “Put it back.” The chaos swirls so strongly within her it feels like it’s going to consume her. Yet she refuses to budge.

  “I will. When I’m done.”

  She sets her hand on my shoulder. “No, now. You don’t understand what you are messing with, Lev. You have no idea of the danger.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Evan won’t help me. That leaves me one choice. Now get out of my way.”

  She folds her arms across her chest. “Or what?”

  I shove her to the side and try not to look in her wide eyes as she loses her balance and starts to fall, striking her head on the pulpit. I don’t wait for her to recover because I know she’ll try to stop me, and I can’t have that. Instead, I jerk away, running outside and flying away. She’s still so focused on Evan’s intentions rather than his actions. It doesn’t matter if he was trying to save me. In the end, he can’t change the reality, and restructuring the peripherals aren’t going to make it better.

  Part of me wonders if I hurt Celia because I keep seeing her body fall. The devastated expression on her face won’t abandon me, and the swirling chaos is stronger than ever. It’s all I can do to keep flying and focused on w
hat I must do. Will Celia come after me? Will she tell Evan of my theft?

  At that moment, I start to fall, and I know it’s because the lure of the chaos is so strong and I can’t seem to escape it. Calm down, I tell myself. Focus on flying. The rest will have to be taken care of in time. Yet even with me trying to restore balance inside, I continue to fall as all these thoughts fill my head, consuming me with worry, things I have no real way to resolve.

  As I keep falling, I wonder how to stop myself—yet that is unnecessary as I feel someone grab my arms and slow my descent. At first, I’m thinking it’s Celia, and I look up, ready to continue the argument. Instead, it’s Bob holding onto me, gradually slowing my plummet to match his flight speed.

  “You must not think on what you can’t control, Lev. That isn’t your place.”

  “I know,” I admit, trying to shove all the chaos back into the box where it came from, but it’s harder than it would appear.

  It seems I am suspended from his grip forever before we finally touchdown. As luck would have it, we’re in the cemetery where I’m buried. Well, not me, exactly, but the Lev whom Elizabeth remembers, and my headstone isn’t far from here, which makes all this somehow worse.

  As he releases me, I almost stumble, my equilibrium still shot from the chaos swirling within. At the last moment, Bob grabs me, and even though I know he’s not really an old man, the human skin he wears seems so incongruous with the strength I feel righting me.

  “Anything you want to talk about there, Lev?” he asks softly, his eyebrows hunched in concern. “You looked like you were during the funeral a few days ago.”

  I withdraw and wait for the world to settle around me. “It’s nothing. I’ll be all right,” I finally manage, wishing I knew how to settle the inner turmoil.

  “If that’s nothing, I’d hate to see what something is.”

  I can tell he’s not going to leave it alone, so I say, “It’s Elizabeth. I’m worried about her.”

  He nods. “Did you manage to get the dagger?”

  “Yes.” Of course, I glance at the sky, expecting that at any moment I will see either Celia or Evan headed my way. Both, perhaps.

  “Then Elizabeth’s suffering will soon be at an end. What else could concern you?”

  That’s not a question I want to answer right now because it’s not going to help settle the chaos within me. So instead, I just say, “There isn’t anyhing else that should concern me.” I shut my eyes and focus on trying to settle the chaos; the last thing I want is for Bob to have to carry me around until I can fly again. I’ve got enough problems. Not being able to go where I wish isn’t one I want to add to the collection.

  The only image that even seems to bring me peace is that of moments spent with Elizabeth before things suddenly changed and I had to leave. I think of her smiling face and focus on her heartbeat as I remember it. While the chaos seems slow to leave, that image seems to help drive it away, so I cling to it, waiting for restoration.

  Bob is still there when I finally open my eyes and resurface to the world where Elizabeth and I can’t be together. One more glance at the sky tells me neither Evan nor Celia has followed me. Part of me wants to go back to worrying over Celia, but I can’t afford to follow where that path will lead—so I look at Bob.

  “Perhaps we should go to Theresa’s. I know I told her it would be tonight, but I need to return this dagger before Evan is wise to the fact it is gone.”

  He nods slowly and glances at me. “You sure you’re all right to fly? You weren’t so hot a few moments ago.”

  “I’ll be fine. I just need to get this done and find a way to go on from here.” I take a deep breath. “So the sooner I get to Theresa’s, the sooner we can get this over with.”

  “I’ll follow you.”

  Instead of answering, I fling my body into the sky and take a deep breath, waiting to see if I’ll fly or fall. Luckily, I find myself ascending instead of plummeting.

  “Now that’s better,” Bob says, giving me a wry smile, and even though I don’t feel it, I reciprocate.

  The rest of the journey to Theresa’s is silent, which allows me to focus on the way the wind feels with the sun on my skin. Normally, I block this, but right now I need all the distractions I can manage. It will only help reduce the chaos.

  As we land in the back yard, I glance toward the glass door, trying to see if Theresa is inside. Still, the house seems empty, which is definitely not good. I need to get this done. As it is, I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to replace the dagger without Evan discovering I have taken it.

  “Let’s see if Kane and Theresa are here,” Bob suggests, leading the way to the door. I follow him into a house that is dark except for the kitchen light. Uncomfortable with exploring, I wait as Bob vanishes to the back bedroom. A moment later, he returns.

  “I’m willing to bet they are out sojourning, so we might as well hit the sectional and wait. They’ll turn up eventually.”

  We start toward the couch when Bob stops suddenly. I know exactly what is going on by his expression. He, too, is being called away to sojourn. He gives me a glance, and I nod. He slips out the door and leaps into the sky, his wings suddenly appearing as soon as he’s airborne.

  If this isn’t commentary about my status as a sojourner, I don’t know what would be. Everyone else is out doing what I should be doing as well, yet here I am, as useless as ever. Disgusted I sit and lean back, trying to ignore the doubts running through my mind.

  I’d fly someplace else, but right now I’m guessing seeing Elizabeth in her current state would only make me feel worse, and going back to the Upper Realm would only complicate my already overly complicated life. So I’m stuck.

  A few moments later, I hear the back door slide open. “Therese?”

  “Wrong.”

  I shoot to my feet and find Celia standing there. At first, I’m thinking Evan will be following her, but she is alone. I try not to react. I’m glad to see I really didn’t shove her as hard as I thought. “What are you doing here?”

  “Trying to talk some reason into you.”

  Taking a deep breath, I sit, my hand slipping to the back of my pants to make sure the dagger is still secure. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

  She shakes her head. “I’d rather stand.”

  I shrug. “Suit yourself.” Right about now I’m wishing Celia would get a convenient call to sojourn herself, but somehow I don’t see that happening.

  “Look, I don’t know what you are doing or why. Neither of those matter, Lev. What matters is that you took something from Evan, something that is very important.”

  I hold up a hand. “I didn’t ‘take’ it, Celia. It has a use that will help me with Elizabeth, and once I do one simple thing, I will replace the blade, I promise.”

  Her eyes widen like she can’t believe what I’m saying. “Lev, I don’t think you know what you are doing. You think you do, but there are so many things happening around you, and this choice can’t come to good in spite of what you believe.”

  I stand, sensing that once again her chaos is starting to grow. She’s worried more than angry, and that softens the edge within me. I reach out and gently grasp her arm. “Look, I’m sorry about earlier. I wish Evan would have been willing to help. I’ve tried asking him, but for whatever reason, he won’t, and I can’t keep waiting for this to get easier. It’s never going to. We both know that.”

  Celia’s shoulders sink with my words. “There’s a reason Evan wouldn’t help you. There are consequences for every action, Lev. You don’t see the whole picture right now.”

  “And whose fault is that?” Without intending to, my fingers tighten around her arm. It’s a spasm in my grip, and right afterwards, I release her arm, giving us both some distance we need.

  Celia takes a staggering step back. “You’ve never acted like this before. Can’t you try to give Evan the benefit of the doubt that he was just trying to help you by erasing your memories?”

  I throw my
hands up in the air. “It never helped, Celia. That’s what you don’t seem to understand.”

  “All right,” she finally admits, her voice a good deal calmer than her emotions inside. The chaos is growing, and she’s fighting really hard to keep it under wraps. “Look, maybe you don’t agree with Evan’s choices, but this…this is wrong. You are surrounding yourself with dangerous angels, and you don’t even realize it.”

  “Let me worry about those I surround myself with. I promise you the dagger will be returned by tomorrow. You have my word.”

  A doubtful frown crosses her face. “I hope for all our sakes you’re right, Lev. That dagger is an artifact of great importance. You must understand that.”

  “I do.”

  She gives me one last pleading look before heading back to the door and exiting. I know she’s only leaving because she knows that sooner or later the other angels will return, and she doesn’t want to be here when that happens.

  Once she has closed the door and I am alone again, I begin to wonder what kind of artifact the dagger is and why it is so important. Why would he have been entrusted with something powerful which his tasks do not require?

  More mysteries to add to those already there, and while I probably should have asked him about the dagger before I took it, I didn’t want to arouse his suspicions. It’s going to be bad enough if I don’t return it before he sees the outline in the pulpit. And then it’s just a matter of time before he asks the right questions of Celia to find out I have it. Celia’s never been able to divert suspicions from anything she does. She is completely honest, which isn’t a bad thing. I’m the one doing something I shouldn’t, but I know it’s the best thing I can offer Elizabeth.

  I don’t know how long I sit there, pondering what I’m doing and how it will turn out before the sliding glass door opens again. As I look up, Theresa, Bob, and Kane walk in. They’re in the middle of a conversation, laughing and talking animatedly when Theresa spies me.