by Sherri Renee
I looked around and tried to see everything the way he would. Copious amounts of purple. Romantic movie posters everywhere. Clutter on every free space. I was thankful I’d cleaned as much as I had.
He finished his study of my room and the corner of his mouth tipped up in a smile. “You and my sister would probably get along great,” he said.
I liked the thought of that and wondered if I’d ever have the chance to meet her. After another glance around, Jace sat in my purple chair and crossed his legs. I felt like he was giving me time to collect myself before asking questions, but I wasn’t quite ready to pour out my troubles.
“I hope I didn’t pull you away from anything important.”
Jace shrugged. “Nah, we were just opening presents.”
I’d been rubbing my satiny sheets through my fingers, and I froze, giving him a horrified look. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
“No.” He shook his head with a slight frown, and my stomach dropped.
“I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I was just upset and then I called you. You didn’t have to come over.” I took a deep breath to stop myself from rambling.
His eyes met mine and held. “I wanted to. You sounded like you could use a friend so here I am.” He leaned closer, resting his arms on his thighs.
Was that all he was? A friend. I knew I wanted more, but did he? I shook away that question. How could I even be thinking about that right now?
“Tell me what happened,” he said.
With Jace this close, the last thing I wanted to do was talk about my problems. I wanted to forget I had any problems, but his words were the perfect reminder that I did. I slowly started talking, telling him how my mom had been working so hard and had been so tired.
It took me a few minutes to get to today. As much as I wanted to talk about it, I also didn’t want to relive a minute of today, but I did. I told him about the stranger showing up on my doorstep on Christmas day who turned out to be my dad. Then I told him the hardest part of all.
Chapter 25
“My mom has cancer.” I rubbed my fingers over my sheets, wishing I’d taken a second to make my bed before Jace came over. Not that it mattered in comparison to what we were talking about.
“She’s having surgery tomorrow,” I said without looking at him. The full weight of that fell over me as if saying it out loud made it real. I started to shake.
Jace moved to sit on the bed beside me. He wrapped an arm around me just like he had at the diner. “I’m sorry,” he said in a low voice. “I know how rough that is.”
“You can’t possibly know.” The words shot out without thought. I didn’t mean to sound as snide as I did, but I felt they were true. Before this afternoon when Mom dropped her bomb on me, I wouldn’t have been able to fully understand what someone else going through the same thing would be feeling so I didn’t expect him to either.
Jace didn’t argue just quietly held me.
“I’m sorry. I snapped at you.” I rubbed a hand over my face. I was thankful I was only snapping and not bawling all over him for a change.
“Don’t be,” Jace said. “What you’re going through is huge, and you’re right, I probably can’t begin to understand exactly what you’re feeling.”
He pulled back so he could look in my eyes. His eyes were warm and filled with sympathy. “I’ve known a lot of people who’ve had cancer,” he said. “I want you to know I’m going to be here for you through this. Whatever you need.”
“Even after I caused you to get in a fight and then almost tackled you at Bobby’s house?” As soon I said it I wished I could suck the words back in. I didn’t want to dwell on all the embarrassing things in my life, and I sure didn’t want Jace dwelling on them.
“That jerk had it coming for saying that stuff about you. As far as you running into me at Bobby’s,” he paused and gave me a curious look. “Explain to me again how that happened.”
I ducked my head and let out a groan. I couldn’t believe I’d brought it up. “Okay,” I admitted. “I wasn’t looking for the fountain. I was hiding behind the tree because I didn’t want to have to talk to anyone. When I heard you out there alone with Jules my curiosity got the best of me. I tried to peek around to see what you two were doing. I lost my balance and would have fallen flat on my face if your back hadn’t slowed my momentum.”
The corner of Jace’s mouth kicked up. “So you were spying on me?” A full grin spread across his face, and he looked rather pleased with himself.
“No!” I screeched, jumping off the bed. “Well, I mean kind of.” I ran my hands through my hair. “But I didn’t set out to so it doesn’t really count at all.” I peeked at him from the corner of my eye and saw him calmly grinning at me.
“Ugh.” I covered my face with both hands. “Believe it or not I’m usually a confident secure person. I don’t do stuff like cry on strangers or stumble over bushes or almost attack people with my car keys. The most embarrassing things always seem to happen to me when I’m around you.” My voice held a hint of a whine, and I knew I was losing it.
“Embarrassing?” Jace said. “I’m flattered that you hid out in the woods in the freezing cold just to find out if I had my eye on another girl.”
I dropped my hands to my sides and my mouth fell open. I couldn’t believe Jace honestly thought I’d been spying on him. Okay, so I might have ended up doing that, but I’d never intended to. Here I was pouring out my heart, and he had the nerve to accuse me of chasing after him.
Jace stared at me solemnly for a full minute before he burst out laughing. “I’m just teasing you. Come here.” He patted the bed, still chuckling. “It sure is easy to get a rise out of you. You should see your cheeks. You’re adorable when you blush.”
I stood where I was and threw my fiercest glare at him.
Jace stopped laughing but wasn’t bothered by my glare. “I know who you are Michelle Morris. This past week doesn’t define you. You’re still the cool, beautiful girl who everyone loves. We all have bad days, bad weeks. It’s part of life, but things will get better. They always do.”
I couldn’t stay mad at him for teasing me when he went and said something so nice afterward. I bit my lip to hold in a smile. “You think I’m cool and beautiful?”
“I always have,” he admitted easily without any sign of embarrassment.
I sat back beside him, leaning my head against his shoulder. “Thanks for coming over,” I said. “You have a knack for taking my mind off the things I don’t want to think about.”
“Maybe this will help too.” He reached into his coat pocket. I sat up straight as he pulled out a flat square present carefully wrapped in shiny gold paper. “This made me think of you.”
His eyes held mine as he laid the gift in my hands, and I found I didn’t want to look away. He smiled at me and my heart did a weird fluttery thing that wasn’t at all unpleasant. “Merry Christmas, Michelle.”
I swallowed and looked down at the package. I couldn’t believe he’d bought me a present. I eased my fingernail under the tape to lift it then folded the paper back to reveal a white jewelry box. I glanced up at Jace and found him watching me with a quiet smile.
“Open it,” he said.
I lifted the lid and inside was a gold bracelet with a single rose charm attached to it. I took it out of the box to admire it. “It’s so pretty,” I said. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”
“I wanted to. I wanted to give you a flower that would never die so you’d always think of me when you saw it.” He took the box from me and fastened the bracelet around my wrist.
I searched his face. I’d been so uncertain how he felt about me, but now I felt safe guessing that he must like me at least a little bit. He was so close to me the light fragrance of his cologne tickled my nose again. If I leaned towards him just slightly I could kiss him. I looked down at his lips and bit my own.
Apparently, he had the same thought. He started moving towards me, closing the distance with his eyes o
n mine. My heart pounded hard, and I felt light-headed. At the last second, I jumped off the bed and nervously ran my hands down my dress. I wanted him to kiss me. Oh, boy, did I ever. But all of a sudden my mouth felt dry and my palms were sweaty and gross.
“I have a gift for you too,” I sputtered, spinning away from him. I exhaled a deep breath, trying to decipher my reaction to him. A kiss from Jace would be a relationship-changing moment. Was I ready for that? I’d rushed things too much with Danny. I didn’t want to take a chance of messing things up with Jace.
I opened my top dresser drawer and pulled out the package I’d wrapped for him. I bit my lip and tried get my emotions under control before I turned back to him.
Jace’s eyes widened in surprise when he was the present. “You bought me a book?” he asked, guessing from the shape of the package.
I handed it to him with a tiny grin. “Not exactly.”
He smiled at me curiously while tearing off the wrapping. Looking down, his brows dipped slightly before he tipped his head back and started laughing. I bit my lip to hide my own smile, rather pleased with my choice and even more pleased with his reaction.
“You bought me a sparkly pink diary with a lock and key.” He nodded and laughed again. “That’s a good one.”
“It reminded me of our first date,” I told him, remembering how I’d teased him about hiding his writing and asked if he wrote in a girly diary like this or something equally as embarrassing.
He raised a brow. “Oh, so now we’ve already had our first date, have we?”
I felt my cheeks growing warm and blinked. Wow! Where did that word even come from? “Well, whatever you want to call it.” I shrugged, trying to downplay it.
He thought about it for a minute, tapping a finger against his lips. My eyes focused on those lips. They looked so kissable. It made me regret not kissing him when I had the chance.
“I like calling it a first date just fine,” he said.
His words jerked me from the beginning of a fantasy in which those lips and mine were becoming rather friendly. I shook that image away and smiled. I liked that he liked calling it a first date. That made me think he wouldn’t be opposed to us doing just that.
“I already started it for you.” I tipped my head towards the diary. “I used the pen you gave me and everything.”
The tiny key almost disappeared in his strong hand as he inserted it into the equally tiny keyhole. Opening the diary to the first page, his eyes swept back and forth over the few lines I’d written. I’d composed a short poem about his book this morning after I finished reading it. I felt silly now that he was reading what I wrote and wished I’d just given him the blank diary and left well enough alone.
His jaw tightened, and he looked up at me. “You read it,” he stated rather than asked with his eyes boring into mine. “You read the whole thing.” His voice grew rough with emotion.
“No one close to me has ever read my book. My sister’s about half-way through it, but she’s been at that point for months now. My parents support my writing completely but have never read a line of my work as far as I know.”
His eyes searched my face with that sweet look of longing he sometimes got. “You read it and you got it,” he said with a slight nod.
Chapter 26
“I read it, and I loved it.” I reached over and put my hand on his shoulder, a little overwhelmed by his response. It made me feel amazing that my little gift meant so much to him. “You are so talented. Once I started reading, I was transported to Celeste’s world, and I didn’t want to put the book down. I think I finished it in three days.”
He raised a brow at that. “Impressive.”
Without looking away he stood, putting us almost toe to toe. “Thank you,” he said softly. His eyes were dark with emotion, and he lowered his head to mine. I watched him as he got closer. My heart sprinted in my chest and my stomach tightened.
He was moving in for a kiss, and this time I wasn’t going to freak out. I wanted this so much. Sure, it would change our relationship, but in a good way. At the moment, I couldn’t imagine anything better.
I wiped my sweaty palms on my dress and closed my eyes. His lips were almost to mine and my eyes drifted closed. As I lifted my head to him his phone rang.
He let out a loud sigh, and I peeked at him. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking like he really was sorry. “That could be my family looking for me. I kind of disappeared on them.”
He stepped back and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He answered it while my mind reeled. Jace Freeman had almost kissed me. I pressed a finger to my longing lips. When I’d called him today, I’d never expected things to turn out like this.
I couldn’t help once again comparing him to Danny. While Danny couldn’t even be bothered to return my call, Jace had dropped everything for me when I needed him.
Jace hung up and squinted at me, wrinkling his nose. “I hate to do this. I really hate to do this,” he drawled, “but that was my mom. They’re holding dinner for me and everyone’s waiting for me before they’ll eat. I really need to get back.”
It wasn’t what I wanted to hear. My lips were still desperately waiting for his touch, but I nodded quickly. “Of course! I can’t thank you enough for coming over when I called. Even though things were kind of strained between us you didn’t even question why I was calling. You just came. That means more to me than I can tell you.”
Jace traced a finger down the side of my face, making my skin tingle. “You mean a lot to me.” He leaned down and brushed a kiss across my cheek. It wasn’t exactly the kiss I’d been dreaming of, but it was sweet, and I wished he could stay longer. The long sigh he let out when he pulled away made me think he felt the same.
“Thank you for my diary and the poem,” he said.
“Thank you for the bracelet. I love it.” I held up my arm and twisted it back and forth, making the tiny gold rose swing.
He was stalling, and I was letting him. I think he wanted to stay as much as I wanted him to, but I felt bad that his family was waiting on him.
“You should probably go so you don’t ruin Christmas dinner,” I said but didn’t move away from him.
His eyes stayed on mine. “I probably should,” he agreed. Instead of leaving he said, “I’m sorry we didn’t have more time to talk about your mom. Text me when you know what time her surgery is, and I’ll wait with you at the hospital if you’ll let me.”
I’d put my mom and her surgery out of my mind for a few minutes and now it came back, landing like a rough brick in my stomach. It was sweet of Jace to offer to come with me, though.
I walked him out and watched him drive away still amazed by how much things had changed since I’d watched Danny drive away down the same street less than a week ago.
Chapter 27
Mom and I ended up talking through the night. I was so mad at so many things but not at her. Never at her. Not that I didn’t wish she’d told me about her condition earlier so I could prepare more. Or that she’d given me at least a hint of warning that my dad was going to show up on my doorstep.
I knew she was doing the best she could. It wasn’t like she expected to get sick. The surgery was supposed to be something fairly common, but I knew as well as she did that there was a risk with any surgery.
We sat side by side on the couch, and I held her hand while we talked about how she was feeling. How this was going to affect our lives. As long as she recovered with no troubles, the changes she talked about would all be good things. She was already planning to work less, but she also wanted us to do some traveling together. Explore at least a small piece of the world while we could and build some special memories.
I didn’t go into details, but I told her Danny and I were over and hinted that Jace might be coming over more now. She didn’t push for more information, but she did give my hand a firm squeeze.
I wanted to stay up longer and talk because I knew once we went to bed Mom’s surgery would be right around the corner,
but Mom was tired and I knew she needed as much rest as she could get. She dropped one more bomb on me before she walked out of the living room.
“Oh.” She put a hand on the doorway and looked back. “I’ve asked Drake to stay here while I’m in the hospital. It will give you a chance to get to know each other.”
I opened my mouth to argue that I didn’t want a stranger staying here when she added, “And it will give me peace knowing you’re not alone.”
I swallowed my protest and nodded. If it made her feel better, I could survive a day or two with Drake. I hoped.
We had to get to the hospital early so Mom could be prepped for surgery. I hated being there. Everything was too clean. Too white. Too medicinal smelling. Too terrifying. But I wouldn’t have missed being with Mom for anything.
I stayed with her as long as I could, but I was finally asked to sit in the waiting room. As soon as I sat down I picked up a magazine, flipping through pages without seeing anything that was on them.
I couldn’t believe my mom had cancer and was about to have a tumor removed. It just didn’t seem possible, and yet here I sat just another in the sea of worried faces waiting for a loved one.
I’d texted Kristen last night to let her know I wouldn’t be at practice. She’d called me right away and we’d talked for quite awhile. She’d said every supportive, encouraging thing she could think of and while I appreciated it, none of her words made me feel any better. The only thing that would really make me feel better was to know Mom was cancer free.
I didn’t really expect him to come because I knew he’d have practice, but I let Jace know what time we’d be at the hospital like he’d asked me to. Danny still hadn’t returned my call. I didn’t even want to talk to him anymore. It was just so hard for me to believe that whatever we’d had could totally end so suddenly.
I flipped through a few more pages of the magazine before tossing it down on the table. I couldn’t concentrate. My only thought was that in an hour or so Mom would be on the road to recovery. I wouldn’t even let myself consider the possibility that she might never leave this place. I couldn’t go there.
