“Hailey, I know I messed up last night. Please, just come home and we’ll talk about it.”
Hours later, he still hadn’t heard from her. Ryan couldn’t concentrate and he had peeked out the curtains more times than he could count. He wanted his wife and son home with him. He wanted to beg for forgiveness. He wanted to make things right. But as the evening grew darker, he couldn’t stop wondering where his loved ones were.
Chapter Six
Hailey
As soon as the breakfast dishes had been washed, Adam begged, “I want to play with Jack, Mommy … can we go to see Jack, pleeeeese?”
“I’ll give Jack’s momma a call and we’ll see.”
I was more than happy to phone my best friend, Sarah Evans, who had a little boy only a few months older than Adam. Not only would it give Adam some playtime, but I could vent my frustrations to Sarah.
The weather had been frigid until a few days ago. Even today was a bit on the chilly side. But with the sun bearing down and jackets on, we agreed to meet at Trinity Park near the playground, one of our usual spots. Turning the boys loose on the merry-go-round, Sarah and I sat on a nearby bench underneath a giant live oak.
“What’s going on?” Sarah asked generally, having no idea my mouth was about to unload.
My face soured and I let out a deep groan. “Everything,” I summed up in one word. When her expression turned into a puzzle, I added, “Ryan cheated on me … with Shannon Lowry.”
Sarah was married to Jeff, Ryan’s best friend, and because the two men worked together at Premier Designs, Sarah knew who Shannon was.
“No, he wouldn’t do that,” she immediately argued, narrowing her blue eyes at me. “What on earth gave you such a crazy idea?”
“He didn’t come home last night after the party … well not until six this morning. At first, he alluded to sleeping it off at a friend’s house, but when I pressed the issue, he admitted to sleeping with Shannon.” I watched Sarah’s round face turn into a giant frown. “And then, of course, there’s this.” I pulled my phone and presented her with the picture of the two of them having sex.
Sarah gasped, leaving her mouth fully open for an extended period. She rubbed a hand across her freckled face and pushed back a strand of black hair that had caught in the light breeze. “No way. Ryan’s like husband-of-the-year.” She shook her head and then focused her blue eyes back on me, taking note of the tears forming in my eyes. “My God, I can’t believe it. He’s always been so attentive, showing nothing but undying affection toward you.”
“Yeah, well, I guess the honeymoon’s over,” I said matter-of-factly, though I was extremely near the point of a breakdown. Ryan had always been overly devoted, catering to my every whim. Everyone thought he was the perfect husband, and I did too … until last night. Perhaps he now saw me as too much work and was tired of it.
“What are you going to do?” she asked, her dark bushy brows bunching together over the top of her black-framed glasses.
I shrugged. “What would you do?”
“You already know what I’d do,” she said softly, giving me a sympathetic look. Jeff was Sarah’s second husband. Matt, her first spouse, had cheated on Sarah and she had filed for a divorce the next day after finding out. Two years later she met and married Jeff, together they had Jack, and had lived happily ever after … so to speak.
“But you didn’t have a child with Matt,” I pointed out, seeing my situation as entirely different. Adam dearly loved his father, and I didn’t want him only seeing his dad on alternating weekends with a Wednesday in between.
“I know, but …” She sighed and turned away from me under the pretext of checking on the boys. Seeing they were still playing on the merry-go-round, she turned back to face me. “A divorce would be difficult, but are you willing to put up with a cheater? You know what they say, ‘once a cheat, always a cheat.’ You deserve better, Hailey, and you know it.”
I just nodded because my voice had up and left me.
“Adam’s young. It’s better to do it now, rather than wait until Ryan betrays you again. The older Adam gets, the more he’ll experience the divorce himself. You’d be doing it for your son, as much as for yourself.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” I voiced noncommittedly. I loved Ryan and didn’t want our marriage to end. On the other hand, Sarah was correct, I didn’t want to be married to an unfaithful man. And who knew, this may not have been his first time. I wouldn’t stand for this. I needed to be strong.
She reached sideways on the bench and hugged me. “I’ll be there for you, no matter what you decide,” she consoled, knowing divorce wasn’t something I’d lightly consider.
Sarah knew I took my vows seriously … for better or worse. And wasn’t cheating just one of the worst times? I didn’t know for sure, but before a rash decision was made, I wanted to think about what was best for me and for my son.
Once the boys tired themselves out, we had lunch at McDonalds. Over burgers and fries, I asked, “Did Jeff say anything about the party?”
She poked a fry in her mouth and shook her head. “No, not a word.”
“Did he mention I called him? He said he was already home.”
She shook her head again. “No, he didn’t say anything about it.” She paused. “Do you want me to give him the third degree?”
I swallowed hard, wondering if I wanted to know anything more. Wasn’t the picture of my husband with a naked girl enough? “No, I don’t want to get Jeff in the middle of mine and Ryan’s problems.”
She nodded, giving me a sympathetic smile. “If you change your mind, just let me know.”
After putting on our jackets and throwing away our trash, we parted ways. Then, I contemplated my next steps. Did I go home and confront Ryan? Did I go tell my parents? What did I do?
My parents would give me the same advice as Sarah … dump Ryan, the cheating bastard. I imagined the conversation in my head. My mom would say something like, “Oh no, Hailey, you poor dear. Well, honey, you deserve better. You’ll be better off without him.” My dad would be blunt, saying, “How dare that scumbag loser. He’s not about to treat my daughter with such disrespect. Get rid of him, Hailey.”
In the end, I opted to avoid my parents all together. My wounds were too fresh and in the stupid event I forgave Ryan, I didn’t want my parents forever giving their son-in-law the evil eye … or thinking I was weak for that matter.
Instead, I opted to give Ryan a taste of his own medicine … worrying him … just like he’d worried me last night. My mom would call it, “what’s good for the goose, is good for the gander.”
My afternoon was spent at Film Alley, watching a children’s movie with Adam. Afterward, we went shopping, purchasing clothes for the next day, necessary toiletries, and a few toys. Then I checked us into a hotel, intending to stay Saturday night for sure, and possibly Sunday as well. The time away from Ryan would give me a chance to think things through. But more importantly, it would drive Ryan crazy.
Ryan had called once in the early afternoon, saying, “Hailey, I know I messed up last night. Please, just come home and we’ll talk about it.”
Later in the day, a second message said, “Hailey, I know you saw the photo. Please come home and we’ll discuss this.”
By the time I took my phone off mute from the movie theater, he’d called five more times.
First asking, “Baby, where are you? Please come home.”
A half hour later, he’d told me, “Honey, I love you so much. Please come home.”
On his third message, his voice had taken on a pleading tone. “Hon, please at least let me know where you are.”
His next message was, “Babe, I’m getting worried. Are you and Adam, okay? Please call me.”
By the fifth call, his voice was shaky, saying, “Okay, so you’re punishing me by not letting me know where you are. I get it. Now it’s time to come home.”
After receiving another ten calls, fourteen texts and five emails, I turned my phone o
ff. While some might feel my actions were petty, maybe even cruel, what I thought was: It was only the tip of the iceberg compared to what he put me through the night before … and I wasn’t with another man.
Chapter Seven
Ryan
Ryan had walked a groove in the wooden floors. His trips to the window had worn him out. If he had a pedometer, he thought he might’ve reached a personal walking record. He wanted Hailey and Adam to appear in the driveway. He wanted to run outside and hug them both. He wanted everything to be like it was … if only.
He’d had all day to wallow in whatever happened last night. He still didn’t understand what happened. He wasn’t a cheating man. Nonetheless, he had ended up in bed with Shannon … naked, with a picture slapping him in the face about it. He’d long ago deleted it, unable to bear the sight of it.
“Hailey, please come home,” he said, leaving her the billionth phone message.
But as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon and the streetlights flickered on, he knew she wouldn’t be home all night. “Fine, whatever,” he muttered to himself. “She’s just punishing me. She’ll be home around six in the morning,” he convinced himself, thinking she was vindictively inflicting the same worries and stress he’d put her through. He deserved it. And as soon as she’d shown him how it felt, everything would be okay.
Unable to give up hope, he stood vigilant by the window, hoping and praying he was wrong, and she’d be home any minute now. He pictured them carrying Adam upstairs and tucking him into bed, then they’d discuss his indiscretion. He’d do whatever it took to make her understand that he didn’t remember what happened and would’ve never intentionally slept with Shannon.
Okay, yes, he had admired Shannon. She was unbelievably attractive. Each time he’d passed through the lobby, he’d kept his gaze on her, watching her brilliant white teeth flash him beautiful smiles and her perky boobs almost waving hellos to him. But that was it. He would’ve never knowingly taken things over the line. So, what the hell happened last night?
All day he’d contemplated calling Jeff. But he’d held off, afraid Hailey was probably at their house, giving Sarah an earful about Ryan’s screw-up. Picturing the scenario, he thought it might be best to wait until work on Monday and then he’d ask Jeff what transpired during the party. Until then, he wasn’t sure he even wanted to know.
Running his fingers through his brown hair, he considered contacting Frank and Eileen, Hailey’s parents. It’d be just like Hailey to run to her mother. But then again, if Hailey had spilled her guts to her parents, Ryan would be the bad guy by now. Nope, he wouldn’t be calling them either.
Bound and determined to cease his incessant window watching, he climbed the stairs and prepared for bed. He’d just go to sleep, and then it would be the next day. He envisioned Hailey coming in around six in the morning. If she found him sound asleep, would that set her off even more? Maybe he should set an alarm and look like he’d been awake all night. Perhaps he should be on the couch, like she was. Yeah, he’d play it that way. It’d help matters if Hailey saw him as equally worried as she was.
Then, just for a crazy moment, he wondered if Hailey’s revenge included spending the night with another man. Would she stoop to the level of evening the playing field? And if so, who would she be with? No, he thought, she wouldn’t be with another man, not with Adam with her. Would she? But what if she’d left Adam with Sarah or her parents?
Son of a bitch. Now he was wide awake. There was not going to be one moment’s sleep tonight.
Chapter Eight
Hailey
“Mommy, where’s Daddy?” Adam asked as I led him into the hotel room.
“Daddy’s sick, remember? He’s afraid we’re going to catch whatever he has, so we’re staying here until he gets well.”
“Oh, okay.” Adam’s tiny face turned into a deep frown. “I want Daddy to hurry up and get well.”
“It might be a while,” I warned, hoping Adam wouldn’t bug me to death about going home. How could I explain any of this to a four-year-old? Maybe I wouldn’t. There wasn’t any reason why I should be the bad guy. I’d pass that buck off to Ryan and let him explain what he’d done wrong.
After getting Adam and myself ready for bed, I stared at the same page on my tablet, pretending not to have a care in the world while Adam watched a children’s movie. After a full day of activity, he fell asleep before the movie ended. Tucking him in, I scrolled through my many texts from Ryan and listened to his numerous messages.
As the day had worn on, I could tell his attitude had bounced between anger, worry and begging. Admittedly, I felt a little smug knowing he was going through a living hell, much the same as he’d put me through last night. Of course, our situations were entirely different. Our son was asleep in the bed next to me, while Ryan had played hide the sausage with another woman.
The reminder had my anger ramping up all over again. The idea of my man with another woman enraged me beyond belief. But what was I going to do about it? I didn’t want to give up my marriage, and Adam wouldn’t understand a divorce. But could I ever truly overlook a philandering husband?
The night wore on like the bed was a trampoline. Flip to this side, flop to the other. I couldn’t find a comfortable spot to save my life. Jumbled thoughts kept me restless and awake. What was I going to do when the morning came?
While Adam was still asleep, I took my shower and changed into my store-bought outfit. By the time I was ready, Adam was stirring around.
“I’m hungry. Can we go eat with Daddy?”
“No, baby. Remember, Daddy’s sick.”
“Oh, I was hoping he was well by now.” A deep frown pinched his perfect complexion. “How long does it take to not be sick?”
“We don’t know, yet. It depends on how sick a person is.” Adam looked like he was about to cry. Maybe I’d taken things too far and needlessly worried my child. “Daddy’s strong and healthy, though. I’m sure he’ll be back on his feet in no time. How about we go out for breakfast?” I offered as a distraction.
“Can I get pancakes?” Adam asked. Flapjacks were a favorite of Adam’s.
“You betcha. How about Old Pancake House?”
“Yeah, I like that place,” Adam agreed, bobbing his head and smiling.
While Adam chattered next to me between bites of pancakes and crispy sticks of bacon, my thoughts were a million miles away. I had ordered the same, lacking the ability to scrutinize the menu and make a thoughtful decision.
“These pancakes are extra good,” Adam commented, smacking his lips. “Yummy.”
“Yes, they’re delicious,” I agreed, stuffing another bite into my mouth and forcing myself to chew and swallow.
“What are we going to do today, Mommy?”
“I thought we’d see what Nana and Papa were doing.” Knowing Ryan and I needed to discuss what happened, I wanted to drop Adam with my parents so Ryan and I could have our little chat, or yelling-screaming match, as the case might be. Either way, I didn’t want Adam involved.
“Yippie. I’ll get to play with the trains.” Adam’s brown eyes twinkled in delight.
My dad, a retired locomotive engineer, loved trains. He had a whole room devoted to his favorite hobby, his passion taking up every inch of space. Ever since Adam was able to walk, it was their thing together and somehow the spare bedroom had grown into nothing but a display of trains everything, looping around the center of the room on multilayers of wooden platforms, complete with trees, houses, bridges, watering tanks, signal lights and even tiny people. Adam loved watching the trains going around the numerous tracks, especially when my dad let him handle the controls. Now, every visit with Papa was all about playing trains.
When I pulled into my parents’ driveway, I felt my throat closing in. While I’d had all night to consider what I was going to say to them, I hadn’t been able to come up with anything. Hopefully, something would arrive on my tongue when it came down to it.
Adam was unbuckling his c
hild’s seat before the car came to a complete stop. “Hang on back there, buddy,” I chastised, throwing him a stern look.
“I can’t wait to see Papa,” he shrieked.
Though I had a key, digging it out seemed too hard of a task. After ringing the bell, my mom came and unlocked the door. “Well, look who it is … my favorite grandson.” She bent and hugged Adam, her short gray hair being the only thing I could see. Then she stood and greeted me with my own hug. “What a pleasant surprise.”
My dad waddled up behind her. “There’s my boy,” he said in a deep voice.
“Papa,” Adam yelled, rushing to him and throwing his arms around my dad’s leg. “I came to play trains.”
“You did?” My dad winked at me from behind his thick, black-framed glasses. “Then let’s get to it,” he encouraged, placing his hand on Adam’s shoulder and shuffling him off to the train room.
My mother, all of two inches taller than me at five-four, led the way into the kitchen where she continued handwashing some dishes. My mom wouldn’t think of using her dishwasher as she thought it wasted too much water. Admittedly, whenever I didn’t have many dirty items, I did the same thing. Like mother, like daughter.
“I need a favor,” I began, wasting no time.
“Oh?” My mom’s voice took on a cautionary tone. She stopped her scrubbing and gave me a concerned look from behind her wire-framed glasses, probably because I rarely asked for favors unless it was truly necessary. “What kind of favor?”
“Ryan and I need some alone time today. I was hoping you might be willing to keep Adam for a while. It might be several hours.”
“Oh, of course dear, we’d be glad to,” she answered seemingly relieved, like she had expected it to be about money, though I couldn’t remember the last time my parents had helped me out financially. Although, if I filed for a divorce, asking them for monetary assistance might not be out the realm of questioning. Her gray eyes softened, and she was back to the dishes. “Couples need to spend one-on-one time with each other. I’m glad to hear you two are planning a day together.”
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