Did I correct her, or let it go for now? Since she’d find out anyway, it was probably better to lay things on the line. “We’re having an issue,” I hesitantly admitted. “It’s not something I want Adam’s little ears hearing.”
My mother stopped washing a plate and stared at me, soapy suds clinging to her rubber-gloved hands. “An issue?” she repeated, her face turning into a kaleidoscope of emotions … shock, disbelief, puzzlement and then worry. “I hope it’s nothing serious,” she said hopefully, then ending in fear when she saw tears welling in my eyes. “Oh no, honey, what’s wrong?”
“Ryan went to his boss’s birthday party last Friday evening. He ended up sleeping with the gorgeous receptionist. He didn’t come home until six the next morning.” My words choked out of my mouth and tears began streaming down my face. It hadn’t been my intention to cry like a little baby to my mother, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
“Oh, Hailey,” my mother softly spoke, quickly yanking off the bright yellow dish gloves, throwing them on the counter, and rushing to me where I was seated on a barstool behind the kitchen peninsula.
“Oh, Mama,” I cried onto her shoulder, letting her “mommy me” while I blubbered all over the tan sweater she was wearing. Even though the thermostat was blasting heat to the tune of eighty degrees, my poor mother was exceedingly cold-natured and generally wore multiple layers.
“What are you going to do?” she asked, which caught me by surprise. It hadn’t occurred to me for her to suggest anything other than divorce. My parents were old school and believed in the sanctity of marriage, which didn’t leave room for sexual encounters outside the bounds of holy matrimony.
“I don’t know,” I croaked out through another onslaught of tears. “I haven’t had a chance to discuss it with Ryan yet.”
She nodded and then her chest fell with a deep sigh. “Well, take all the time you need. In the meantime, we’ll be glad to watch over Adam.”
“Thanks, Mom.” We hugged again. “I’m heading home, then. Might as well deal with it.”
Adam barely noticed my goodbye kiss because Dad had two trains going in opposite directions. “Watch, Mommy, they’re going to crash,” he reasoned, not understanding Dad had two tracks set up.
I rubbed the top of his shoulder and smiled at him. “I don’t think Papa would let that happen.”
“You okay?” Dad asked, noting my red-rimmed eyes.
I nodded. “Mom will tell you. For now, though, I’m scooting out.” I gave him a hug, Adam another hug and my mom a giant hug. Then I headed home, preparing myself for war.
Chapter Nine
Ryan
Ryan barely slept all night. He was a ragged mess and hadn’t bothered with a shower. He hadn’t heard from Hailey and six o’clock was hours and hours ago. His wife was truly putting him through the wringer. And though he was worried to death about his marriage, he couldn’t help being angry that she’d just up and left without so much as letting him know where his own son was. Didn’t she know he was worried? Of course, she did. Wasn’t that her point?
After forcing a cup of coffee and a piece of burnt toast down his throat, he resumed his centurion duty at the front window.
After a vigilant two-hour watch, Hailey’s silver, older-model Camry pulled into the driveway. For a moment, relief beyond all measure spurred through his veins. Then, just as quickly, Ryan’s heart jumped to the speed of light, knowing the moment of confrontation was upon him.
He watched Hailey’s petite frame of five-two slide to the pavement. Her shoulder-length blonde hair glistened in the sunlight as she hoisted her purse on her shoulder, locked the car and headed for the front door. His wife’s normally beautiful face was etched with dread, and her green eyes blazed with a mixture of hurt and anger. Tension gripped hold of Ryan’s shoulders and a sick feeling flared in his gut. Now that he was faced with certain wrath, he wasn’t sure he had the courage to answer any of Hailey’s burning questions.
“Baby, I’m so glad to see you,” Ryan greeted, opening the door for her and ushering his wife inside. “I was beyond worried.”
“Imagine that. I can’t believe my staying out all night – without you knowing where I was or if something had happened to me – would have had that effect on you,” Hailey said spitefully, tossing her purse on the hall table and heading for the brown leather couch. She plopped down and glared hatefully up at Ryan’s tall frame of six foot one.
“Look, I know I messed up. But I didn’t mean to.” Noting the fire in Hailey’s angry eyes, he cautiously seated himself next to her, keeping some distance between them. “For what it’s worth, I don’t remember anything. I can’t for the life of me understand how this happened.”
“Don’t lie to me,” she hissed. “Whenever I’ve been with you at your office, I’ve noticed your eyes lingering on her for far too long.”
That was true. Could he deny it? No, not if Hailey had already caught him looking at Shannon. “Okay, I’ve noticed her being attractive. That’s all. I certainly never wanted to have sex with her. If I hadn’t received that text, I’d swear nothing even happened and that I must’ve simply passed out at her place.” Without his clothes on, he pondered.
Hailey shook her head and lasered her green eyes at him. Her piercing gaze settled on Ryan with an uncomfortable intensity that left him wanting to squirm.
“But Ryan, it did happen. And somewhere along the way, you let it. You cheated. You were with some other woman.” Hailey was on the verge of tears. Her expression was of absolute hurt, reflected in her furiously blinking eyes.
“I’m sorry, Hailey. I didn’t mean for it to.” Ryan’s voice hitched with emotion. “I would’ve never intentionally cheated on you. I respect our vows and I want to be married to you. There’s no way I would’ve jeopardized our relationship.” A burning sensation behind his own eyes caused tears to form and threaten to spill. He swallowed back a lump in his throat. “Please forgive me. I’m begging you from the bottom of my heart.”
Hailey took in a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. “I don’t know if I can.” Her voice cracked and tears filled her eyes, spilling over and running down her cheeks.
Ryan’s breath caught at the tormented pain evident in her expression. His face crumpled at her distress. He wanted to tug her next to him and comfort her, but he refrained, fearing she’d bite his head off. “Baby, we can go to counseling. I’ll do whatever it takes to make us whole again. Please don’t give up on our marriage. Don’t give up on us. I can’t bear the thought of losing you. And I don’t want Adam being subjected to a broken home. Please, Hailey.”
“I don’t know if I can ever trust you again,” Hailey said on a sniffle. “I thought our marriage was solid.” Her green eyes found his, giving him a judgmental look.
“We were solid. We are solid,” Ryan reassured her. “I want to make this right, just tell me how.”
“I don’t know how. What were you doing with her in the first place? What were you thinking?” Hailey asked.
“I … I don’t know. I remember having a few drinks at the party. We all ate burgers, had birthday cake and toasted Campbell. I remember leaving. I may have been a bit tipsy, but I don’t recall being in a drunken stupor, and certainly not to the point I shouldn’t have been driving.” Ryan paused, trying to remember how many drinks he had. Three he thought … two beers and a flute of champagne. “While I was walking back to my car, Shannon caught up to me and asked if I’d walk her to her vehicle. It sounded perfectly reasonable, so I agreed. Something must’ve happened after that. Everything is so hazy from that point on … until I woke up yesterday morning.”
“In her bed,” Hailey screeched, contorting her whole face at him. “That’s where you woke up!”
Ryan gulped back a lump. “I swear to you, Hailey, I don’t remember anything else … especially not having sex with her.”
Hailey’s head swung back and forth, sending her silky blonde tresses into motion. “Yesterday morning you told me you
remembered stumbling part of the way to the car and Shannon told you that you weren’t in any condition to drive. Now you’re claiming you were perfectly fine to drive home. If so, why would she have offered to bring you home? And in your first story, you barely remembered getting in her car and then you supposedly passed out before giving her our address and that’s why you were at her apartment.” Hailey glared at Ryan, a scornful expression on her face.
“I know. But I’ve thought about it for hours on end. I’m positive of being okay when I left the bar. But before I made it to my car, I was struggling to keep upright. I don’t know what happened. I swear Hailey. I really can’t remember.”
Hailey’s expression took on a doubting look. “I don’t believe you, Ryan. I think she’s someone you’ve been eying for a long time and the right circumstance finally presented itself. That party was an excuse to have a bit too much to drink and then, oops, you ended up in bed with her.”
“No, I swear to you, that’s not what happened at all.” Ryan’s face took on a remorseful look. “Please, I’ll do anything to make this right. You just name it.”
Ryan held out hope as Hailey seemed to contemplate his offer. After long silent moments passed by, she said, “I need some time to think about this. I’ve rented a hotel room which is good through tonight.”
Ryan balked at the idea. The last thing he wanted was for Hailey to leave. But he also knew Adam would drive her crazy, wanting to know where Daddy was. She’d be willing to come back home, if for nothing more than to make their son happy. “Yes, okay, I understand,” Ryan softly expressed. “I agree. Take some time to think about us. Think about Adam. We don’t want him growing up in a divorced family. He needs us both and under the same roof. You’ll realize that we can work this out. It’ll be best for us and for him.”
So, it was decided. Hailey packed a few items and Ryan walked her to her car. He placed the overnight bag in her backseat and then waited for her to get herself situated behind the wheel. He bent down to address her. “I love you, Hailey. I’m going to fight for you. You’ll see, we’re not over.”
He went to kiss her goodbye, but she turned her head away, started the car and left.
Chapter Ten
Ryan
After another fitful night of sleep, the alarm blared in Ryan’s ear. When he opened his eyes, he stared at the empty spot next to him where Hailey should be. His heart ached at not seeing her mass of beautiful blonde hair spread out on the pillow, and he missed how her groans always accompanied the start of the work week.
Feeling overwhelmed, he kicked back the covers and left his bed unmade. Slowly trudging to the bathroom, he dragged himself into the shower.
“Why now,” Ryan muttered to himself. Of all the damned times for this to happen. Ryan had applied for a supervisory position at his workplace. If he received the promotion, it not only meant a huge raise, but he wouldn’t have to travel quite as much. He hated flying to different locations to oversee projects. If promoted, the managerial position would allow him to focus on design and development, and once the construction was underway, he could send someone else to baby-sit the project.
Ryan stepped from the shower and toweled off. “Shit,” he mumbled, peering at himself in the mirror, noting his eyes were bloodshot and his face was sallow. He looked an awful mess. His boss, Wade Campbell, was not going to be impressed. Rummaging through the medicine cabinet, he grabbed the eye drops and drenched his burning eyes.
He thumbed through his suits and picked the dark gray one with the thinnest black pinstripe. One at a time, he shoved his feet into the pantlegs and yanked them up over his boxers. After adding his professionally laundered, crisp white shirt, he buttoned it and tucked it into his trousers. Zipping and adjusting, he added a belt and a tie. Carrying the jacket with him, he stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen where he had another slice of burnt toast with a cup of coffee. His morning breakfast came with too much quiet. He missed Hailey’s insightful commentary, as well as Adam’s constant chattering about nothing. He just missed his family.
On the drive into work, Ryan thought back to the Friday-night party. What if he’d made an ass of himself in front of his boss? A worry knot formed in his stomach at the mere thought. Using the car’s hands-free feature, he put in a call to Jeff Evans, his buddy since high school.
“Hey, it’s me,” Ryan addressed as soon as his friend and coworker answered. “What happened at the party Friday night?”
A sardonic laugh followed. “Dude, you tell me. Sarah came home yesterday afternoon yammering about you sleeping with Shannon.”
“I don’t remember it,” Ryan told him.
“Oh, come on. You slept with the sexiest woman in the company … and you don’t remember it?! Dude, you need to give me a detailed accounting … or better yet, a video.” Jeff chuckled, thinking Hailey must’ve jumped to a misguided conclusion. Ryan was the type of guy who dearly loved his wife and certainly wouldn’t cheat on her.
“Seriously man, I don’t recall anything. I was hoping you could fill in the blanks.”
“Are you for real,” Jeff asked. “Are you honestly telling me you really did it with Shannon?”
“No,” Ryan barked. “Yeah, I guess I did. Look, just tell me what you remember.”
“Okay,” Jeff said, suddenly getting serious. “Look there’s nothing to tell. You and I had a drink at the bar while the staff pulled the tables together. Then we ate burgers and a piece of sugary cake and slammed it all back with a couple more drinks. You were still there when I left. Sometime later, Hailey called and asked about you. I mentioned your jacket was hanging on the back of the chair and your phone was in the pocket. I told her you probably couldn’t hear it ringing.”
“That could be. It was loud in that place with those cement floors,” Ryan agreed. “But what happened after the cake?” Ryan queried.
“Not much. As soon we toasted the old man and wished him a happy birthday, I headed home.”
Ryan remembered the bakery truck had a flat tire and it had caused the delivery man to run late. Now that he thought about it, he remembered having a third beer while everyone waited. But even so, was he that inebriated?
“Did I drink too much?”
“Not while I was there. You were still at the table when I left, but you had been about to leave, too.”
“Apparently, I wasn’t.” Ryan told him what little he remembered. “Then I woke up in Shannon’s bed, both of us naked. Later she texted me a picture of us together in a compromising position … which Hailey saw.”
“Shiiiit,” Jeff drawled out. “No wonder she’s on a rampage. Look, I was joking before about the video and details. You know I don’t condone extramarital sex. Sarah would leave my ass, just like she left Matt’s. I ain’t going there. I don’t think you would either. Have you talked to Hailey and told her you can’t remember anything?”
“I tried. She doesn’t trust me anymore and she’s asked for some time apart to think about things.”
“Then give her some space,” Jeff urged. “Hailey loves you and she’ll think twice about separating Adam from you. Surely, she’ll come around.”
“Yeah, I hope so,” Ryan croaked out. “I love her, man. I don’t know what I’ll do if I’ve messed this up beyond repair.” Ryan turned the block onto Taylor Street and entered the parking garage. “Hey, I’m at work. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Hang in there, buddy. It’ll work out,” Jeff encouraged.
Ryan climbed out of his car and headed inside, thinking he needed a miracle before he and Hailey worked it out.
Chapter Eleven
Hailey
“Just leave Adam with us,” my mom offered when I called to update her about mine and Ryan’s discussion. “Go on to the hotel and think things over. You need peace and quiet to make the sort of decision you’re contemplating.”
“Are you sure?” I questioned.
“Of course, I’m sure. Adam’s enjoyed the trains all afternoon. Right now,
he’s watching an animated movie. As soon as dinner’s over, I’ll play our puzzle game with him. And then it’ll be time for bed. You just do whatever it is you need to do.”
“Thanks, mom. I really appreciate it.”
If Adam stayed with my parents, not only would it give me time to think, but he also wouldn’t be nonstop asking about his father. Besides, I intended to cry myself a river and Adam didn’t need to see me doing it.
After a marathon of tears, I spent the rest of the evening staring at a TV that wasn’t even on. What was I going to do? I loved Ryan so much and I wanted to stay married more than anything. Yet, he had betrayed our vows. Even if I could forgive him for this one indiscretion – assuming this was the only time – would I ever completely trust him again? He worked with Shannon. What went on while he was supposed to be earning a living? He had a couch in his office. Had he made use of it? The thought sickened my stomach. We hadn’t even made use of it.
My mind swayed back and forth, first thinking about love, marriage, family, and how happy we had been until Friday night. Then the flipflop side would take over, considering lack of trust, unfaithfulness, and Ryan’s willingness to put our marriage on the line. But did I want a divorce? The idea of starting over, especially with a young child, seemed insurmountable.
First off, I didn’t even have a job. Ryan’s salary had accommodated my being a stay-at-home mom. Bonding daily with Adam was a sweet treasure and one I hated giving up. But my marriage couldn’t hinge on such advantages. If I needed to get a job, I’d get one.
The whole night was spent waffling between forgiving Ryan, to slapping him in the face with a divorce petition. When the morning came, nothing was resolved.
Paper-Thin Walls Page 4
