“Is it really that important that you have to sell the house now?”
Shit. Screwing the cap back on the water bottle, I wanted to throw it at his head. “You know what, let me just put this on hold like all the other things in my life and maybe it’ll pass me by. Will that make you happy?”
Beckett stopped in his tracks and glared at me.
Everything felt so familiar even though we hadn’t lived together for more than two years, legally.
An alarm went off in my head. What if John and I ended up like this? I extinguished the absurdity and slammed that tiny door shut at the back of my brain. Or so I thought. I couldn’t do this again with another person.
“Maggie, I really like my place downtown. I really don’t want to give it up.”
“Then don’t,” I said, trying to derail my temper. “Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care.” I picked at the label on the water bottle. It ripped. I twisted the cap off and took a long swig. My face burned from the uncontrollable heat my body couldn’t control any more than this conversation, Beckett, or what was to come in the future.
“I just hate to see you sell it then have regrets.”
“Oh, for the love of God, Beckett. Enough!” Something inside snapped. “I’ll talk to Bradley then I’ll get back to you. This is stupid. It shouldn’t be this hard.”
“No, it shouldn’t,” he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and stepping closer to the island in the kitchen.
I made a face at him. “Fine, we’re even, but I’m thinking bickering isn’t the issue here.” I wasn’t going to let him win. Leaning back against the counter, I was thankful for the cold ugly tile beneath my sweaty feet.
My thoughts must have shown because Beckett said, “You always did hate that tile, didn’t you?”
“Yup,” I said. “Still do. Thought it would grow on me, but that never happened.”
“I see the house next door is for sale. Are John and Chloe moving?”
“Yeah, they’re pretty much gone.” I clammed up, wanting to keep them to myself.
“You’re going to miss them, I suppose.”
He didn’t know the half of it. I nodded, staring at him through tiny slits.
“Maggie, I’m not stupid. What are you doing?”
“Why does it matter? Bradley is grown and gone. It’s my time. I was the dutiful wife. I worked at a career to help with this house, but those days are gone.”
“Must be something pretty important to get you all worked up like this.”
I shook my head from side-to-side. John and Chloe were locked away, my treasure. “Maybe this was a mistake. I shouldn’t have asked you come over to talk about the house.”
Beckett rubbed his perfect chin and leaned against the refrigerator. “Just think about it, Maggie. You got a good thing here.”
I have an even better thing in Montana. “Sure, Beckett.”
Beckett strolled back over to the table and picked up his keys. His thin, tall, lanky frame, leaner than usual. I wondered if he was dating. I knew he didn’t want to live here with a partner. He was too worried about what the neighbors would think. The keys jingled as he snatched them up. It was fine for me to stay, though. I guess he thought it’d be easier for me.
“Stupid,” I said as I had a conversation with myself.
“What’s stupid?” Beckett faced me.
I squashed my emotion. There would be no John to cuddle up with tonight. There would never be a John to snuggle with if I didn’t grab the golden ring this time around. I pictured myself on a jeweled horse, leaning over so far I teetered on the brink of falling. I reached, feeling the strain in my shoulder and the bitter taste of disappointment. With my tongue sticking out of my mouth like a second grader guiding his scissors around a hairpin turn of dotted lines, I saw my life without Chloe and John. “You know I could never completely cut you out.”
“I know.”
“Bradley couldn’t either,” I said.
“I know.”
“Then why in God’s name are you giving me all this shit?”
“Because you got a fire in you, Maggie. I haven’t seen it in a long time. Why won’t you tell me what’s going on? Are you sick again? Do you need money?”
“No, Beckett.” I messaged my throbbing temples. “I need a life. It’s that simple.” I stared through him. “When it’s time for you to know, I’ll tell you, but that time is not now.”
The front door slammed, making my nerves prickle, and Mom waltzed in like Queen Elizabeth at a cotillion. Her eyes darted back and forth between Beckett and me. “Figured you two could use someone to mediate. The neighbors are forming a crowd out there.” She put her purse down on the counter. “Just kidding. Anything I can help with?” Her eyes said, told you so in secret Mom language.
“No,” I said.
“Hi, Glad,” Beckett said politely. “I should be going.”
“Probably a good idea.” I could feel the sarcasm in my forced grin.
“You’re looking well, Glad.”
She held his stare. “Thanks. I’m in a walking club and I joined a travel club.”
My eyebrow arched toward the ceiling. Oh, please keep your mouth zipped. The plastic of the water bottle crinkled in my grip.
“Seriously, I joined a travel club. My friend Lois has been asking me to join for months. I think it’s time to get out there and see the world before I can’t move around anymore.”
I peered at her over the edge of the bottle as I drank the rest of the water, and then tossed the empty bottle in the sink and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “That’s great, Mom. We can talk about that after Beckett leaves.” I headed for the foyer.
“I can take a hint,” Beckett said. “I’d like to hear about it someday, Glad.”
Beckett’s words trailed off as he followed me to the front door.
“Bye, Beckett.” Mom’s voice trailed into the foyer.
“I’ll get back with you after I speak to Bradley.” I crossed my arms across my stomach. The humid breeze whisked in on the cusp of darkness. Beckett’s lame smile wasn’t appeasing. “Bye, Beckett.”
Beckett played with his keys again. “Bye, Maggie.”
Chapter 36
I went into the living room and plopped down on the sofa. Shadows fell across the khaki-colored walls like movie reels of past memories.
Mom came in and sat with me as night set in. “It’s peaceful in the dark.”
“I shouldn’t have asked him if he wanted the house.” The words caught in my throat.
“You did the right thing.” Mom smoothed the hair back from her face and let out a sigh.
“Thanks, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. How much did you hear?”
“Almost all of it. I came in, but you didn’t hear the door so I panicked and stood there like a dope, then went back out and waited. Figured you needed an interruption.”
“I don’t care what you heard, and thanks.” I reached under the lampshade and switched on the table lamp. “Did you really join those clubs?”
Mom grinned, and I couldn’t help but mimic her expression.
“Yeah, I did. You kind of inspired me. I’m not getting any younger.”
Scooting closer to her, I laid my head on her shoulder, wanting her to stay alive forever. “Don’t remind me.”
Mom stroked my hair as she spoke. “You’re a strong girl, Maggie. Just because someone ruffles your feathers doesn’t mean you’re doing the wrong thing. More often than not, you’ve done the right thing and they just can’t stand it.”
Mom smelled like vanilla and coffee, her blouse soft beneath my cheek like a pillow. My nerves settled. “It’s just so stupid.”
“It’s not stupid to him. You’re his security blanket whether he wants to admit it or not.”
“He really thought Bradley would hate him for being gay.”
“I don’t buy that for a minute,” Mom said.
Staring at Mom, I wondered if I’d look li
ke her after twenty years or so on the ranch. “Thanks for not telling him about Montana or John.”
“Never. That is up to you, dear girl.”
“What?” I said, lowering my gaze.
Mom touched my cheek. “Although Beckett gave you the most wonderful son, I like John better. You belong together.”
“You’re not just saying that to get rid of me?” I yelped when Mom pinched my arm. “Geez, Mom. I bruise like a peach.”
She scowled. “Chloe was put on this earth for a reason. And it was to get you two knuckleheads together. The roads may not always be clearly marked. Detours and potholes happen.”
“No wonder Chloe likes you so much.” Mom’s caring touch made me feel better. Her caress was something that didn’t age or change with time.
“Now what are you going to do?”
I laid my head back on her shoulder. “I looked up the balance on the mortgage. It’s not that bad. I’d have a chunk of change left over. I just worry about having enough for the future.”
“We all do, darling girl, but if you spend all your time fretting, you’re going to miss out on some pretty important stuff, including the future. Besides, I have some money tucked away.”
I sat up. “I don’t want your money, Mom. I don’t want John’s either. I want to make my own way.”
“You already have.” Mom drew me close. “When your dad died, there was a life insurance policy. He didn’t just leave it to me. He left it for both of us.”
I felt my eyes grow wide. “I helped you with all the legal stuff. The beneficiary was you.”
Mom’s mischievous agenda emerged. “Your father and I talked about that policy many times and what we should do with the money God forbid he should leave us. I invested it. He wanted to make sure you had what you needed. He told me to take care of you. I made a promise and I never go back on a promise.”
“I still don’t want it.”
“I know, and you don’t need it. It’s not millions, but someday it might help.” Mom beamed. “Well actually, it’ll do more than help.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” She grinned as I touched her hand. “On second thought, I can.”
“For God’s sakes, child, you’ve been through enough. Do whatever it is that’s going to make you happy. You’ve done your thing here and we both know that the next chapter in your life is elsewhere.”
My mother amazed me. “Yeah.” My eyes scanned the room. The feeling of home diminished slowly. This felt like my home, but not really like my home. “This is going to be weird.”
Mom’s green eyes flickered. The hair on my arms bristled, Mom’s smile reminiscent of my father’s.
“I know,” she said.
“I’ll put the house on the market then make an appointment with the retirement office to get the paperwork started.” I couldn’t help but smile. I had set myself free.
“You’re doing the right thing. Bradley has the kindest heart of anyone I know. He’ll be fine. He’s making his mark on the world in his own way.”
“I know.” I picked at my thumb.
“Beckett may never be happy about it, but it’s not up to him.”
“Promise you’ll visit?” I said, holding her hand.
Mom laughed. “Are you kidding? You won’t be able to get rid of me.”
My mouth curved toward the ceiling. Her wicked cackle caused me to shake my head. “You are so quirky.”
“I know. You get it from me,” she said proudly.
“John and I already talked about going back and forth.”
“So you’ve already planned this.”
“Um, kind of, but this selling my house and moving to Montana …” I took a deep breath. “… he knows nothing about.”
Mom’s eyes lit up. “I love a good secret. When is he getting here?”
“Next week.”
“When are you going to tell him?” Mom picked a piece of lint from my sweater.
I shrugged. “I don’t know.” Goose bumps covered my arms. My life was about to change. Forever. “This is huge.”
“Yeah, it sure is,” Mom said, tucking my hair behind my ear. “And you deserve it.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Oh, my goodness. Chloe is going to be out of her mind.” Mom beamed with excitement.
“I hope so, because I am. This will change everything for her, for all of us. God, what if she really doesn’t really want me around?”
“Oh hell, you sound as bad a Beckett. No way is that going to happen.”
She was right, as usual. “I can’t wait until they get here next week.”
Mom rubbed her hands together in anticipation. Her pearly whites gleamed. “I’m happy for you,” she said. “It’s about freakin’ time.”
I pinched the skin on the back of my left hand. Time had graced me with an age spot and a few more laugh lines. “This is the scariest thing I’ve ever done.”
“My girl’s finally leaving the nest. I’m so proud of you.”
Gray strands streaked Mom’s strawberry-blonde hair. Mom hadn’t said she was proud of me in ages. I made a mental note to tell Bradley how proud I was of him when I called next. “Hey, why did you stop by?”
“Same old, same old, to get in your hair.” Mom propped her feet on the table and crossed her ankles.
I pictured the living room empty and I felt okay with that. Of course I’d take my grandmother’s clock and few pieces of antique furniture. Anything from my marriage, I’d give to Bradley or Beckett. Once again, it was time for new memories. A little over a year ago, I cleaned out. The designer encouraged me to fill the space, but I said no. I wanted new memories to fill my world and now I was going to get not only new memories, but a whole new world, too. “Figures.”
“You know you like it when I just show up.”
“I didn’t used to,” I said, giving her a sideways glance, “but now, I think I do.” I teetered as Mom pretended to slug me in the shoulder like a best friend. “Thanks for putting up with my crap,” I said.
Mom’s grin made her appear more youthful than ever. “No problem. I’m sure I’ve given you some angst here and there.”
“I’ll say.” I rolled my eyes when Mom glared at me with her feisty green gaze. Taking a deep breath, I played with the hem of my shirt. “Thanks for saying you were proud of me.”
“You’re welcome. Thank you for being my daughter.” She nudged me with her shoulder. “Now, maybe we should order a pizza. I’m hungry.”
I picked up my phone from the table. There was a text from Judy. Next week can you watch the boys? Maybe Friday?
I grinned, and then typed out a reply. Sure.
Chapter 37
My heart pounded against my ribs. They’d be here any moment. John had texted me from the airport when their flight had arrived. Sleep hadn’t come easy with my decision. Judy recommended a friend of hers who sold real estate and we’d set up a meeting for next week. I held my breath as the porch swing swayed. Soon, it would belong to another family. I’d rocked Bradley on this swing, read to him, taught him to read, and cuddled with him when he was sad.
Wetness formed at the corners of my eyes and I smiled, knowing I had a good life here, not only in this house but in Grosse Pointe with my mom and my dad. The humid breeze swept across me like a prairie fire, but I couldn’t leave my perch as I watched for them to come home. It was going to be a busy week of packing, and at some point I needed to tell John about my decision to leave Michigan.
The image of his mother’s diamond ring flashed in my mind. I didn’t think there’d be anyone in my life after Beckett and I’d prepared to live alone. The idea of getting married gave me goose bumps.
The street was quiet today for most of my neighbors had fled for northern Michigan and their second homes or boats that waited for them. Bones lay by my feet with his head on his front paws, snoring. His back leg twitched as his eyelids fluttered. I’d give anything to know what he dreamed of. I hoped he dreamed of
chasing butterflies, eating bits of pizza, and a vigorous belly rub. A car slowed in front of my house and turned into John’s driveway. I got up. The tags on Bones’s collar jingled as he sat up.
“Sorry, boy,” I said.
The black sedan parked, the door flew open, and Chloe appeared. My heart swelled as she sprinted over to greet me. I skipped down the stairs, choking back tears knowing that someday I’d be her step-mom. I wanted us to be a family as much as John did.
Chloe sped full throttle, grabbed my waist, and squeezed.
“Oh, my goodness,” I said. “It hasn’t been that long.”
“It’s been long enough,” she said.
With her cheek pressed against my belly, we fit together like a lock and key. Chloe wasn’t the pesky neighbor anymore, she was so much more, and she had no idea.
“Boy, do we have a lot to do this week.”
She stared up at me and my breath caught in my chest as I tucked lose strands from her blonde tresses behind her ears.
“Yeah, Dad’s been telling me everything we have to get done. Oh brother.”
“Well, tomorrow I’m watching Walter and Harry. Maybe you can take time out from packing and join us. Might even have a sleepover depending on what Judy says.”
Chloe let go of my waist and dropped to the ground.
Bones stood at the top of the stairs wagging his tail.
“Come on, boy.” She encouraged him to come with a clap of her hands. Bones leaped from the step and scampered over to her. He jumped in her lap and licked her face, his tail wagging fiercely. Chloe’s belly laugh filled the yard.
John peered at me over the roof of the car. I gave him a little wave. My insides flipped over like a teenager harboring a mad crush. He shut the car door and joined us. I preferred his jeans and T-shirt to the pediatrician garb, way sexier.
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