Chloe rolled around on the grass with Bones, oblivious to the connection her father and I were making. I saw our tryst in the barn as the moon peeked out from behind the clouds and the flicker in his green eyes when we touched. “Hi there, how was the trip?” I folded my arms over my stomach.
“Not too bad. Pretty good landing. No snafus,” he said. “Glad we made it.”
“Me, too.” Chloe popped up from the ground and Bones circled her like a herding dog.
“Can I take him for a walk?” she asked, hopping up the steps to my house.
“I guess, if it’s okay with your dad.”
“Go ahead, but I’ll have a to-do list for you when you get back.”
Slamming the screen door, Chloe ignored John’s words and went inside like she always did.
“Same old, same old,” I said with a smile.
John rolled his eyes, and I stood there staring at him, fantasizing about the days ahead.
“Let me know what I can do to help you two get ready for the move.” My voice wavered, knowing I’d be backing my bags at some point, too.
“Thanks. We’re going to need it,” John said, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
Chloe held the front door for Bones. His leash dangled from her fingers. “Come on, Bones,” she said, giving her thigh a slap. She bounced down the stairs. Bones’s nails clicked on the cement as he followed her, his hindquarters waggling. “We’ll be back in a while.” Chloe bent down and snapped the hook on Bones’s collar.
John and I watched her skip away.
“Can you come in and look something for me?” John asked.
“Sure.” I meandered over to the side door of his house with him. He unlocked the deadbolt with a silver key ring from his pocket and I followed him through the kitchen to the dining room. His keys clunked against the wooden table when he tossed them down. In one swift movement, his hand was on my waist drawing me close. Our gazes connected by an invisible force.
“God, I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you left,” he whispered.
A slow grin drifted across my lips. He leaned closer and nuzzled his cheek close to mine. His breath on my neck sent tremors down my spine.
“Well, I have to say, I’ve been a little sidetracked myself. Couldn’t wait to see you guys.” I wrapped my arms around John’s neck. His hand pressed against my lower back. I smiled, fancying the secret I kept that warmed me like his kiss.
“When is date night?” he asked.
“Don’t know,” I said. “We’ve got a lot to do.”
John grunted. “I sure do.”
“I said I’d help.”
“I’m not sure how having you this close is a help. Lots of stuff never got unpacked from the last move so that’s a no brainer.”
“Where you going to put your things when you get back to the ranch?” I asked, thinking about Winston’s furnished home.
“I’m going to store some of it in Trout’s house and some of it can go in one of the barns up in the rafters. Gonna try to sell most of the furniture.”
I thought about what John was saying and wondered how my stuff would fit in. How would it work when I got there? What about Winston? Maybe he wouldn’t want me in the same house. I bit my lip. In my mind, I’d actually solidified a move. What if I had to get my own place? What was near the ranch? John’s lips grazed my cheek. My eyes drifted shut, the uncertainties gnawed at me.
“Why do you look so worried?” John’s brow furrowed.
“You know me,” I whispered as my fingers caressed the back of his neck. John and I were nose-to-nose. “I love how green your eyes are. Magical.” My voice trailed off. I closed my eyes as his lips covered mine. I held on tight and kissed him hard just to make sure he was the one I wanted.
John cradled my face in his strong hands. “What’s this all about?” He wiped the tear away from the corner of my eye.
“I don’t know.” But I did know. And I wasn’t ready to tell him yet. I wanted to keep my secret to myself just a little bit longer in true “Maggie” fashion. “I just wish you could stay.” That familiar pang speared my belly. Leaving my house, my home, and everything behind seemed impossible not so long ago and following through with the plan I’d set in motion was gaining speed. John kissed my cheek. My eyes brimmed with tears.
Chloe came ripping around the corner. “What are you two doing? Why are you hugging Maggie?” She lowered her gaze. “Did my dad make you cry?”
“No, your dad didn’t make me cry.” I sniffled. “I’m just being dumb.”
Chloe tiptoed closer and put her arms around us both. “I don’t want to go to Montana. I want to stay here. Please, Dad?”
Her warm breath penetrated my shirt, her face pressed up against me. John’s gaze searched mine. It was something we all wanted. I remembered how blue the Montana sky was, the rides across the fields and into the mountains, the sweet air scented with sage and beautiful flowers, my nights with John, the campfires and the kittens that Chloe nursed along. My breath caught in my chest. John wrapped his arm around his daughter as she peered up into our faces, not prying about why we were cuddled together.
“Maggie is going to visit,” John said.
I smiled and tussled Chloe’s messy hair. “I will.” God, I was planning to do so much more.
Chloe stepped back. She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. “When? Can Bones come this time?”
“I’m not sure,” I said, planning on cashing in the plane ticket that Winston gave me, wondering if Bones would be considered a carry on.
“Give her some time. She’ll figure it out,” John said. “She just got back and I’m sure she’s really busy thinking about school.”
My stomach rolled over. School would be here before I knew it. Mom’s words surfaced in my memory. I told myself not to be a chicken. “Yeah, it’s a little crazy right now, but when I figure it out, you’ll be the first one to know. I promise.”
“Okay.” Chloe let out a huffy sigh. “When do we have to start all this packing? I kind of liked this place. What do we have for a snack?”
John went into the kitchen, opened the fridge, closed it, and then peeked inside the cupboards. “Nothing. Sorry, kiddo.”
Chloe faced me, her green eyes searching my face.
“I have snacks,” I said. “You can come over to my house if you want.”
“Can I, Dad?” she asked.
“Sure. I guess we’d better think about dinner, too.”
Tucking my hands in my pockets, I sauntered toward the door. “Don’t worry about dinner. Glad and I will whip something up.”
Chloe jiggled with excitement. “Just like old times.”
“Yeah, just like old times.” A chill ran down my spine. The future was standing before me. She was taller, lankier, and spunky as ever. My stare connected with John’s and his eyes sparked with hope as Chloe tugged at my hand.
I admired John’s clear-cut vision for the future. He was a good man, a great man. He was bighearted and loving. He was a cowboy at heart and I liked that he knew his true self and could reckon with invisible forces, especially mine.
Chapter 38
John, Chloe, and Mom had gone home. Bones slept on his bed beneath my desk. I hadn’t expected to receive an offer on the house so soon. I hadn’t even put up a sign, but when the realtor called she said someone had had their eye on my property for several years. Beckett hadn’t gotten back to me, and I could feel this place empty.
I dialed Bradley’s number. He picked up on the third ring.
“Hi, honey,” I said.
“Hi, Mom. What’s going on?”
I nibbled at my thumbnail as I leaned back in my chair. “Plenty,” I said. “Um.” I thought about how to break the news. The knot of raw emotion at the back of my throat made it difficult to swallow. I didn’t know if I had it in me to tell him I wanted to sell the house he’d grown up in. “Um, I’ve been thinking.”
Bradley cut in. “So, it’s true?�
��
“Is what true?”
“Dad called me and said you were thinking about selling the house. He said you asked him if he wanted it.”
Rubbing my temple, I sighed. That was just like Beckett to be one step ahead of me. “Apparently, your father wasted no time. I kind of wanted to tell you myself.”
“Why?”
There was the million-dollar question. And was I ready to tell him the truth? “You really want to hear the truth?” I asked, sucking in my breath.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I want to hear the truth? You’re not sick again, are you?”
I thought about Jenny. “Oh my God. No.”
“You’d tell me if the cancer came back. Wouldn’t you?” Bradley asked.
His voice was laced with concern, and the last thing I wanted was for him to worry about that. “No, Bradley. I promise. I’ve gotten a clean bill of health. I’m perfectly okay. I’m thinking about a move. The house is too big and I just don’t know if I can keep it up any more.”
“Move where?”
“Well, that’s the kicker. Your dad doesn’t know anything about this, and if I tell you, could you please not say anything until I have everything set?” I waited as he breathed into the phone.
“I guess,” Bradley said, sounding reluctant.
“I want to move to Montana.”
“Really?” Bradley’s voice squeaked.
“Really,” I said. “There’s more.” I paused, wishing I could see his face. “I wish I could tell you in person. This sucks talking to you long distance.”
“Let me have it. I think I can handle it. If I can handle Dad being gay, I can handle anything you’ve got for me so lay it on me.”
That was my boy. “I miss you so much.” I fingered the picture that I took last summer of John and Chloe walking on the beach.
“I know. I miss you, too. What gives?”
“John asked me to marry him.” I breathed in the truth. “I don’t know when, and I don’t even know if it’ll ever happen, but I want to go to Montana and be with him and Chloe.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes,” I said, playing with a lock of hair. “Am I crazy?”
“Maybe, but that’s fabulous. What about your job?”
“I’m thinking if I sell the house, I can buy my last few years and be done. What do you really think? Be honest. This is really hard.”
Bones’ ears perked up. He grunted then laid his head back down.
“You want my honest opinion?” Bradley asked.
“Um, no, lie to me,” I said with my usual sarcastic bite.
“Nice. Now that’s the mother I love, right there.” Bradley chuckled. “I think you should go if that’s what you want to do.”
“I want to go,” I whispered. “Will you visit?” Tears dripped from the corners of my eyes.
“Hell yeah. I’ve always wanted to go to Montana. Doesn’t Harrison Ford live there?”
A tiny grin crossed my lips. I wiped the corner of my right eye then my left with the back of my hand. “I don’t know. Will you be mad if I sell the house?”
“No.”
“Will you be upset if I remarry?” I asked, touching John’s horseshoe tattoo on the photograph.
“No. Will you quit worrying about me? It’s about time you took care of yourself.”
“I can’t help it. You’re my son and I wouldn’t do anything if it was going to hurt you. You’ve been through enough.”
Bradley sighed. “The only thing that would hurt me is if you stayed there and you really wanted to be somewhere else. You only live once. That’s what you’d tell me.”
Remembering that bittersweet day Bradley’d left for Boston, my eyes watered with happy tears. He’d driven away with a dream in his pocket and the willingness to risk change. God, my heart had been heavy, but I was filled with excitement. I’d told him dreams were for following, not just for brooding over. “Yeah, I guess I did.”
“Really, Mom, you should go. When will this all go down?”
“I’m not sure. Someone is already interested in the house and I haven’t even put up a sign. John and Chloe don’t know either. I wanted to talk to you first.” I shut my eyes, the Montana landscape ingrained in my memory. “I haven’t told your dad either. He just thinks I want to sell the house.”
“Um, Mom, I hate to break it to you, but he knows you’re plotting.”
I held my breath. “Can we please keep the particulars between us until I tell him?” Why did Beckett matter so much? “I’ll tell him. I promise. That’s if Grandma doesn’t let it slip first.”
“You people are funny. Sure, I can keep it to myself.” Bradley cleared his throat. “Mom …”
“Yeah.” I stretched my legs out in front of me.
“I really like John. He’s a good man. Just thought you should know.”
“Thanks, sweetheart. That means a lot.” A shiver ran across the nape of my neck. The sun had gone down and I was sitting in the dark. My chair squeaked as I leaned over and switched on the lamp. Bones didn’t flinch. “You’re not just saying that, are you?”
“Um, no. If I thought he was a jerk, I’d tell you. You deserve to be happy. Chloe’s a wee bit crazy, but she’s still little. Kind of kooky, but funny.”
“Yes, she is, and she’s intrigued by you.” Bradley’s belly laugh tickled me.
“Sure, I could never have a dog, but fifteen later you’re getting me a sister. Figures.”
“Sorry about that. I know how much you wanted a dog.”
“Yeah, I really did. Maybe when I have a place of my own.”
I rubbed my left temple. Bradley was an adult. He was going to get a place of his own. He was going to find someone to share it with, have the dog he always wanted, and maybe even have children. We were all growing up. The lines in my hands seemed more defined than I remembered. Listening to Bradley speak, I wondered when I’d aged. Mom explained this phenomenon years ago, but I’d never really grasped the concept until now. It had taken a divorce, a pesky eight-year-old girl, her sexy father, a bout with cancer, a trip to Montana, and the death of a colleague to put life in perspective.
Experience embedded truth.
“Mom,” Bradley said.
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
I laid my hand on my heart. “I love you, too. I am so proud of everything you are, dear boy. What would I do without you?”
“I don’t know. What would I do without you?”
“I wish you were here. I always wish you were here, but I know you have to live your own life. Thanks for being so great.”
“It’s time. You know that, right?” Bradley said.
“I know,” I whispered into the phone.
“How about I call you in a few days and you give me an update?”
“Sure.” I picked up a pen and doodled on a scrap piece of paper. “I’ll let you know when I know something.”
“Cool. Bye, Mom.”
“Bye, Bradley.” I wished like hell he was here so I could hug him and hold onto just a little bit longer. He’d always be my baby. Apparently, Beckett and I’d done something right. I ended the call, set the phone down on the desk, and scribbled down some numbers.
My phone buzzed with a text. It was Bradley. I opened his message. It really is time. Stop worrying. I tapped out a message back. I love you, Bradley with all my heart, xoxo. I stood, stretched, went to the kitchen for an icy Beltian beer I’d brought home from Montana, and then meandered out to the patio with a throw. Squinting into the darkness, I spied pint-sized feet dangling off the end of the chaise lounge. Chloe lay flat on her back with closed eyes. As I neared her, she stiffened.
“I can see you, you know?”
Chloe covered her eyes with her arm. Sitting next to her, I covered my legs with the throw hoping to keep the mosquitoes at bay. I sipped my beer, its frosty smooth taste slid down easily.
“I know.” There was something weighing in her sigh.
Chloe grunted and turned her head in my direction. “I had to get out of there. Dad’s on a mission and I’m not sure I’m really helping.” She scrunched up her nose at me.
I peered at her over the rim of my glass as I drank my beer.
“If I wasn’t around, would you be with my dad?”
I swallowed. “What?”
“You heard me.” Her voice was faint.
“Why would you say that? I thought we’ve already discussed this.”
Chloe sat up and slapped her hands against her knees. “’Cause I just don’t think I’m helping anyone. I know you two like each other. I don’t need some dumb boy like Harry to point that out. Dad hasn’t stopped talking about you since you left. If I went to live with my mom, would you two get together?”
“You have nothing to do with it. Sometimes grown-ups need time to work things out. You shouldn’t worry about your dad and me.” My heart thumped against my chest walls. “I love you, Chloe.”
Chloe swung her legs over the side of the lounge chair. “I love you, too, that’s what makes this suck even more. What if I could convince my dad to send me back here every once in a while so we could be together?” She blew her hair away from her face and sparkled with ingenuity.
“I’m not sure about that.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because I don’t know how much longer I’ll be living here.” I set my beer down on the table next to my chair and then leaned closer to her. The moon glistened overhead. Its power drifted down around me as I spoke to Chloe. I touched her cheek, her soft skin warming my touch.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
The gate latch clicked in the night. I glanced over to see John shuffling across the yard in the night air, his hands buried deep within his pockets. His voice was clear as he said, “Where are you going, Maggie?”
I couldn’t contain my secret. “I was thinking I’d come live in Montana if it’s okay with you two.” Chloe scooted over, and John sat at the end of the chaise with her. I’d never felt this comfortable in all my life. “I’ve been doing some thinking and I’m working on selling my house.”
Maggie's Montana (Montana Bound Book 3) Page 24
