The Single Dad Next Door

by Jessica Keller

  Finally facing him, she popped her hands onto her hips. “Sell me the inn.”

  “What?” He scrunched his brow. “No. I can’t.”

  “Of course you can’t.” Because he’d already sold it. “I knew it.”

  “I’m so confused right now, but the one thing I know is that I don’t want to lose you.”

  “Well, seeing as you can’t lose something you never had, I think you’ll be just fine.” Unshed tears swam in her vision. “Now I need you to leave. I need you to leave and not come back until next weekend. Can you do that for me?”

  He moved to come into her room and stopped himself. “You’re freaking me out. What are you talking about?”

  “I know the inn is yours and all, but can you just promise me you won’t come into my home—my only sanctuary on earth—until I’ve moved out? It’s not like you’re needed in the private part of the inn right now. Use the front door and check on the inn’s construction all you want.” Please. Please just agree to this. She wouldn’t be able to handle seeing him every day.

  “Listen, I’m sorry I snapped at you about the money from Alan. I couldn’t care less about it. It just brought back memories of when Cynthia left me. I was afraid that if you didn’t depend on me, then you wouldn’t stay.”

  Say something that’ll make him go. Shut down the conversation.

  “Looks like you were right.” Leave him before he can do it first. He was planning to leave after all. She wouldn’t be played the lovesick girl again.

  Kellen’s head jerked back. “Oh. You don’t...? I thought...” He backed into the hallway.

  Don’t show emotion. “I don’t.”

  “I had thought...hoped. I guess I was wrong.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry to have taken up your time. I won’t come here until Saturday.”

  As he walked away, Maggie sank onto her bed and fisted the comforter into her hands, anchoring herself to keep from following after him. From yelling out that she wasn’t being truthful. That she loved him and was terrified for him to leave Goose Harbor and never return.

  Leave Maggie.

  At least he wouldn’t be able to tick that one off his list. She’d left him first.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Maggie jolted awake.

  It sounded like a bull ramming into her house. Pounding. That was someone at the side door. She squinted at her alarm clock. Three in the morning.

  “Who could possibly—”

  “Maggie! Open up.”

  Kellen.

  She shoved off her blankets and tossed on a thin long-sleeved shirt. Fumbling, she ran into the kitchen. For Kellen to be at her door at such a time in the night, something had to be dreadfully wrong. Especially after their fight two days ago. True to his word, they hadn’t seen each other since he left the inn.

  A peek through the curtains showed Kellen—eyes wide and hair rumpled—holding Skylar in his arms.

  Maggie flung open the door. “What’s wrong?”

  “I know I said I wouldn’t come until Saturday, but something happened. Can you stay with Ruthy?” He was breathing hard.

  “Yes, but—”

  “My arm huuurrts.” Skylar cried against her dad’s shoulder.

  Kellen turned and strode back into the darkness between their yards. “Come on.”

  Barefoot, Maggie jogged to catch up to him. She fought against a shiver. It might have been spring, but the nights were still chilly. “What happened?”

  “Sky fell out of her bunk bed and hit her arm. I think...it looks broken.”

  “Should I call for an ambulance?” She hadn’t thought to bring her phone.

  Kellen nodded in a chin-up way to indicate his car. “I’m bringing her to the hospital. As long as you’ll stay with Ruthy. She’s still asleep. She slept through everything.”

  “Of course. For as long as you need.” She held open the car’s back door.

  Kellen buckled Skylar into her booster seat.

  Skylar moaned and cradled her arm to her chest. “It hurts, Daddy.”

  “I know, baby.” He dropped a kiss on her temple. “Let’s get you to a doctor.”

  Maggie had one arm resting on the top of the car and the other holding the door, so when Kellen stood and turned around, he was basically in her arms. Maggie removed her arms quickly.

  “Sorry.” Kellen brushed past. “I know you don’t like contact with me.”

  They were gone before Maggie made it to the front door of the cottage. The house detailed the Ashbys’ evening. Cold mugs with leftover hot-chocolate rings in the bottom sat on the coffee table, and a bowl of half-eaten popcorn sat near a DVD case. A few Disney character–themed blankets and stuffed animals littered the floor, and the kittens were curled up together on a side chair. Looked as though the girls had enjoyed a movie date with their dad. Kellen really was a good father.

  As it was still nighttime, her best course of action was probably to curl up on the couch and fall back to sleep. Not yet. Maggie propped her hands on her hips and studied the room again. If only she could find out where he was planning to go once he left Goose Harbor. Was he rejoining the Snaggletooth Lions? It would need to be something like that for him to need Skylar and Ruthy to live with his parents.

  She gathered the bowl and mugs and brought them into the kitchen. After unloading their dishwasher, sweeping the floor and wiping down the counters in the kitchen, she moved into the living room and started picking up all the toys. There was still the bathroom, but Maggie didn’t want to risk waking up Ruthy by turning on the water. Her bedroom shared a wall with the bathroom.

  Feeling restless and not at all like sleeping, Maggie trailed her fingers over the jewel cases stacked two deep in the small bookshelf near Kellen’s computer. A larger bookshelf spanned the length of the wall, but that one, like the one in Maggie’s home, held books. While Maggie liked a good book now and then, she was more interested in Kellen’s music collection. What made him tick? He clearly loved music. Reading the lyrics to the Snaggletooth Lions’ first album had shown her how talented he was. And his voice. The man could sing instead of talk every day going forward and the world would be better for it. His speaking voice held a melodic quality, too. Seriously, the man could read books on tape for a living.

  On top of his keyboard rested a CD. Maggie picked it up. It had no words written on it, but the area near the middle was darker, so it had been recorded on. What type of music did he listen to now? Did he miss his old rocker days?

  Before she had time to consider what she was doing, Maggie shoved the CD into the computer and pressed Play. Over the speakers, a guitar started playing a song she wasn’t familiar with. It was beautiful and relaxing. She rolled her shoulders, leaned back in the computer chair and closed her eyes.

  When I thought You left me, I’m the one who walked away. Me who didn’t trust.

  Yet You’re here. Always here.

  Waiting. Watching. Loving. Knowing.

  I will come back to You, my first love. My only. I’ll come back to You.

  Kellen’s rich voice washed over her as she repeated the words in her heart. How many times would it take her to realize she had to trust God completely? Sure, she’d tossed the words out before. But deep down, had she believed them? The world and every part of it that she loved felt as if it were being torn away. Beyond that, if she was being honest, she felt let down by God. She’d followed what she thought was right in the Bible and instead of being blessed she’d lost her family, been passed in love twice and was about to lose her home forever.

  And Kellen and the girls. For the past month or two they’d felt like a family. A real, imperfect but loving family. But now she’d lost that, too. She’d thought she’d made some spiritual progress, but perhaps she hadn’t after all. What was the point in having hop
e anymore?

  Those thoughts wouldn’t help her. No, dwelling on that pattern would sink her soul further into discouragement. Mom had always told her to take every thought captive and examine it to see if she was allowing herself to believe a lie or not.

  How had Maggie forgotten about that?

  I will come back to You, my first love. My only. I’ll come back to You.

  She needed to start choosing to see the ways God was working. Really look and notice the opportunities and the ways He was guiding her even when it didn’t feel as if He cared or was there. Face it—she had no control over her circumstances, so dwelling on them wasn’t beneficial. But she could control her attitude and perspective.

  God was doing something new. She could embrace it or fight it. The choice was hers.

  Praise-and-worship song after song tumbled from the computer speakers. Maggie prayed through each of them. Kellen had a gift. An amazing gift. And he needed to use it. Maybe he was using it. Perhaps he’d written these songs to sell or with a band in mind. Perhaps that was why he was leaving. And if that was the case...could she blame him? The man had raw and wonderful talent.

  The final song on the CD wasn’t exactly a praise-and-worship song. It was a love song. Maggie strained to hear all the words. Kellen sang about two imperfect people chasing hand in hand after God. The words talked about a forever kind of love that forgave daily.

  It was the kind of love Maggie had been searching for her entire life.

  “Maggie?” A small, sleepy voice broke her concentration.

  Maggie swiveled in her chair. Standing in the entrance to the room from the hallway, Ruthy rubbed her eyes, a big stuffed bunny snug under one arm.

  “Sweetheart, let’s get you back into bed.”

  “Where’s my daddy?”

  Don’t let Ruthy worry.

  Maggie kept her voice soft and even. “Skylar got hurt and he needed to take her to the doctor.”

  Ruthy shuffled into the room. “Is she going to be okay?”

  “I think so. She was very brave.” Maggie stood, stretching. A couple pops sounded from her back. “Let’s get you settled back in bed.”

  “Doesn’t Daddy’s voice make you happy?” Ruthy grinned as the song went through its last chorus.

  “It does.”

  “Can we listen to it again?” Ruthy pointed to the computer. The CD had ended.

  Maggie leaned back and clicked for the playlist to start over. “Sure thing. Here, let’s get more comfortable so we can get sleepy again and go back to bed.” Maggie held out her hand and led Ruthy over to the couch. “Why don’t you lie down and I’ll put a blanket on you?”

  “Will you sit with me?”

  Trying to make the atmosphere conducive to getting a child back to sleep, Maggie dimmed a light and turned off the rest. When she sat down on the couch, Ruthy immediately crawled onto her lap and rested her head against her shoulder. Maggie must have picked the seat that Kellen normally sat in, because the fabric on the couch smelled like his cologne. She pulled a pillow under her arm and took a deep breath. Lemon and after rain. The best smell in the world.

  She shoved the pillow away. Being in his home while trying to get over her feelings for him wasn’t helping.

  “Do you want to listen to Daddy sing forever?” Ruthy whispered.

  Maggie blinked against the burn rising in her eyes. “I do, sweetheart. I really do.”

  And she did. She wanted to be teased by him for taking on too many things at once; she wanted him to reorganize her spice cabinet for the third time; she wanted to hear more of his insights on the Bible and be the first one to hear his new songs for the rest of her life. More than that, though, she wanted to tuck Ruthy and Skylar in each night and make them breakfast each morning. To hug them tight when they left for school and be someone they could share their stories with when they got home. Family. All of it.

  Her dreams were right here in the cottage and she couldn’t have them. And that was what hurt the most.

  Ruthy’s deep, even breaths told Maggie she’d fallen asleep. Maggie leaned her head down, smelling Ruthy’s hair. The girls must use bubble-gum-scented shampoo.

  She wanted to be knit together into their lives.

  But that would never be possible, would it? One more hope that would never happen. One more disappointment. One more opportunity to see her dream and have it ripped away.

  Don’t think that way! She’d just decided to change her perspective and attitude, hadn’t she? But she saw words written in her mind: Leave Maggie. Sell the inn. Girls with Mom and Dad?

  Clearly Kellen was going somewhere. They’d had their moments, both good and bad, but Kellen didn’t want Maggie.

  No one did. Well, no one but God. He cared.

  She wouldn’t doubt that again.

  * * *

  Kellen pushed the rounded door open with his foot as he cradled Skylar. She’d sleep late tomorrow—or was it already today? He’d call her in sick to school and she could relax at home with him and Ruthy.

  No doubt she’d want to run over to Maggie’s and show off her pink camo cast once she was up. Maggie would be great about it. She’d ooh and aah over the plaster and draw a picture on the cast. She was always so kind with his girls; her affection for them was clear. Kellen wished she felt the same way about him, but she’d made it pretty clear that she’d never harbored any romantic leanings toward him.

  His eyes were adjusted to the dark from the long drive. He maneuvered around furniture, went straight to his bedroom and put his sleeping daughter in his bed. He’d crash on the couch tonight because he wasn’t about to chance Skylar falling out of the bunk bed again. In the morning he’d check the guardrail and see what had come loose to allow the accident to happen. In the meantime, she was safe in his room.

  Kellen rubbed his face and went back to the living room. The sight that met him made him stop in his tracks. Maggie, head tipped back and mouth slightly open, slept on the couch with Ruthy and their black kitten, Pete, cradled against her. Even in the dim light, Maggie’s cheeks were flushed from the warmth of holding Ruthy. Kellen’s heart twisted. He loved her. There, he’d finally acknowledged it. Not that acknowledging it changed that she didn’t want him.

  As he gently scooped Ruthy into his arms, Maggie stirred. He’d missed being near to her the past few days. What would he do when she left?

  When he returned, Maggie was still on the couch, rubbing her eyes. Looking even more adorable than his daughters looked when they were tired. Kellen fought the urge to go to her.

  Bracing her hands on the coffee table, Maggie stood. “How’s Skylar?”

  “Just a hairline fracture. She’s pretty psyched about the cast, though.”

  “I’m glad she’s okay. Well, good night. Get some sleep.” Maggie rounded the back side of the couch, away from him, and headed to the door.

  He slipped outside behind her. “I know it’s late and we’re both tired, but can we talk?”

  Shivering a little, she crossed her arms. “What about?”

  Kellen slipped out of his fleece jacket and draped it over her shoulders. She might have long sleeves on, but the fabric was thin and her bare feet weren’t helping her stay warm in dawn’s bite of cold air.

  “Your feet. Do you want some shoes?”

  She glanced down as if just noticing for the first time that she hadn’t worn shoes. “I’ll live.” She shuffled so her feet were off the stone porch and resting on the welcome mat. “What’s up?”

  Wanting to be able to see her face, Kellen closed the distance between them. He ran his hands down her arms and took hold of both her hands. She might not care about him, but if this could be his last chance to hold her, he’d take it. “Why do you want to leave the inn?”

  Maggie bit her lip. “You’re making this so ha
rd.”

  “What’s hard about it?” He squeezed her hand. “You can tell me anything.”

  She jerked her hands away. “You can’t do this, Kellen. Don’t you see? You can’t take my hand and speak softly and make me hope for things. I know you’re leaving. I know you planned that all along. And if you’re telling me you sold the inn, well, I already heard that so—”

  He stepped closer. “I’m not selling the inn.”

  “I heard you on the phone selling it!”

  He raised his eyebrows. “I promise, I’m not.”

  “But I heard you talking to someone on the phone about agreeing to a price and you said you’d move out for them.”

  The pieces were starting to click together. No wonder she’d been so upset on Sunday. “That conversation you heard... I’m going to rent the cottage to the man the church committee just announced is going to be taking the position as pastor at the new church. He’s young and newly married. It’ll be a good space for them.”

  “You’re not selling the inn?” Suddenly her bare feet became the most important things in the world.

  “I’m not.” He tentatively picked up her hand again. “Is that why you were angry at me?”

  “Not just that.” She took a deep breath. “When I was at your house the other day I snooped a bit and found your Bible and journal.” She plunged ahead before he could speak. “I didn’t read your journal, but there was a list on a piece of paper and you had things like sell the inn and leave Maggie on there.”

  He should probably be bothered that she’d pawed through his personal stuff, but he wasn’t. They didn’t need secrets between them. If he really wanted to pursue a relationship with her, he’d not make the same mistakes that had plagued his time with Cynthia.

  “So you only saw my cons list and decided that I’d made up my mind?” He moved his hand under her chin and leaned even closer so they shared the same air. “Had you opened up my journal and read where I write out my prayers, you would have found in the latest one that day that I hadn’t needed to finish the sheet because I’d already made up my mind and a pro-and-con list wouldn’t have changed that.”