Myth Conceptions

by Robert Asprin

  "But they're arming!" I pointed out.

  "Relax, kid," he whispered back. "Remember, Ajax is covering us."

  I tried to focus on that thought. Then I saw what was apparently the officer approaching us flanked by two soldiers, and I focused on the swords they were all wearing.

  "Aahz!" I hissed.

  "Relax, kid," Aahz advised me. "Remember Ajax."

  I remembered. I also remembered we were vastly outnumbered.

  "I understand you gentlemen are emissaries of Possiltum?" the officer asked, coming to a halt in front of us.

  I nodded stiffly hoping the abruptness of my motion would be interpreted as annoyance rather than fear.

  "Fine," the officer smirked. "Then as the first representative of the Empire to contact a representative of Possiltum, I have the pleasure of formally declaring war on your kingdom."

  "What is your name?" Aahz asked casually.

  'Claude," the officer responded. "Why do you ask?"

  "The historians like details," Aahz shrugged. "Well, Claude, as the first representative of Possiltum to meet with a representative of your Empire in times of war, it is our pleasure to demand your unconditional surrender."

  That got a smile out of the officer.

  "Surrender?" he chortled. "To a cripple and a child? You must be mad. Even if I had the authority to do such a thing, I wouldn't."

  "That's right." Aahz shook his head in mock selfadmonishment. "We should have realized. Someone in charge of a supply company wouldn't swing much weight in an army like this, would he?"

  We had chosen this particular group of soldiers to approach specifically because they were a supply unit. That meant they were lightly armed and hopefully not an elite fighting group.

  Aahz's barb struck home, however. The officer stopped smiling and dropped his hand to his sword hilt. I found myself thinking again of Ajax's protection.

  "I have more than enough authority to deal with you two," he hissed.

  "Authority, maybe," I yawned. "But I frankly doubt you have the power to stand against us."

  As I mentioned, I did not feel as confident as I sounded. The officer's honor guard had mimicked his action, so that now all three of our adversaries were standing ready to draw their swords.

  "Very well," Claude snarled. "You've been warned. Now we're going to bring our wagons across this spot, and if you're on it when we get here you've no one to blame but yourselves."

  "Accepted!" Aahz leered. "Shall we say noon tomorrow?"

  "Tomorrow?" the officer scowled. "What's wrong with right now?"

  "Come, come, Claude," Aahz admonished. "We're talking about the first engagement of a new campaign. Surely you want some time to plan your tactics."

  "Tactics?" Claude echoed thoughtfully.

  ". . . and to pass the word to your superiors that you're leading the opening gambit," Aahz continued casually.

  "Hmm," the officer murmured.

  ". . . and to summon reinforcements," I supplied. "Unless, of course, you want to keep all the glory for yourself."

  "Glory!"

  That did it. Claude pounced on the word like a Deveel on a gold piece. Aahz had been right in assuming supply officers don't see combat often.

  "I . . . uh . . . I don't believe we'll require reinforcements," he murmured cagily.

  "Are you sure?" Aahz sneered. "The odds are only about a hundred to one in your favor."

  "But he is a magician," Claude smiled. "A good officer can't be too careful. Still, it would be pointless to involve too many officers . . . er . . . I mean, soldiers in a minor skirmish."

  "Claude," Aahz said with grudging admiration, "I can see yours is a military mind without equal. Win or lose, I look forward to having you as an opponent."

  "And you, sir," the officer returned with equal formality. "Shall we say noon then?"

  "We'll be here," Aahz nodded.

  With that, the officer turned and strode briskly back to his encampment, his bodyguard trudging dutifully beside him.

  Our comrades were bristling with questions when we reentered the tree line.

  "Is it set, boss?" Brockhurst asked.

  "Any trouble?" Tanda pressed.

  "Piece of cake," Aahz bragged. "Right, kid?"

  "Well," I began modestly, "I was a little worried when they started to reach for their swords. I would have been terrified if-I didn't know Ajax was . . . say, where is Ajax?"

  "He's up in that clump of bushes," Gus informed me, jerking a massive thumb at a thicket of greenery on the edge of the tree line. "He should be back by now."

  When we found Ajax, he was fast asleep curled around his bow. We had to shake him several times to wake him.

  Chapter Eighteen

  "Just before the battle, Mother, 1 was thinking most of you... "

  -SONNY BARKER

  A long, slimy tongue assaulted me from the darkness, accompanied by a blast of bad breath which could have only one source.

  "Gleep!"

  I started to automatically cuff the dragon away, then had a sudden change of heart.

  "Hi, fella," I smiled, scratching his ear. "Lonely?"

  In response, my pet flopped on his side with a thud that shook the ground. His serpentine neck was long enough that he managed to perform this maneuver without moving his head from my grasp.

  His loyal affection brought a smile to my face for the first time since I had taken up my lonely vigil. It was -a welcome antidote to my nervous insomnia.

  I was leaning against a tree; watching the pinpoints of light that marked the enemy's encampment. Even though the day's events had left me exhausted, I found myself unable to sleep, my mind awash with fears and anticipation of tomorrow's clash. Not wishing to draw attention to my discomfort, I had crept to this place to be alone.

  As stealthy as I had attempted to be, however, apparently Gleep had noted my movement and come to keep me company.

  "Oh, Gleep," I whispered. "What are we going to do?"

  For his answer, he snuggled closer against me and laid his head in my lap for additional patting. He seemed to have unshakable faith in my ability to handle any crisis as it arose. I wished with all my heart I shared his confidence.

  "Skeeve?" came a soft voice from my right.

  I turned my head and found Tanda standing close beside me. The disquieting thing about having an Assassin for a friend is that they move so silently.

  "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

  "Sure, Tanda," I said, patting the ground next to me. "Have a seat."

  Instead of sitting at the indicated spot, she sank to the ground where she stood and curled her legs up under her.

  "It's about Ajax," she began hesitantly. "I hate to bother you, but I'm worried about him."

  "What's wrong?" I asked.

  "Well, the team's been riding him about falling asleep today when he was supposed to be covering you," she explained. "He's taking it pretty hard."

  "I wasn't too wild about it myself," I commented bitterly. "It's a bad feeling to realize that we really were alone out there. If anything had gone wrong, we would have been cut to shreds while placidly waiting for our expert bowman to intercede!"

  "I know." Tanda's voice was almost too soft to be heard. "And I don't blame you for feeling like that. In a way, I blame myself."

  "Yourself?" I blinked. "Why?"

  "I vouched for him, Skeeve," she whispered. "Don't you remember?"

  "Well, sure," I admitted. "But you couldn't have known-"

  "But I should have," she interrupted bitterly. "I should have realized how old he is now. He shouldn't be here, Skeeve. That's why I wanted to talk to you about doing something."

  "Me?" I asked, genuinely startled. "What do you want me to do?"

  "Send him back," Tanda urged. "It isn't fair to you to endanger your mission because of him, and it isn't fair to Ajax to put him in a spot like this."

  "That isn't, what I meant," I murmured, shaking my head. "I meant why are you talking to me? Aahz is the one-y
ou have to convince."

  "That's where you're wrong, Skeeve," she corrected. "Aahz isn't leading this group, you are."

  "Because of what he said back on Deva?" I smiled. "C'mon, Tanda. You know Aahz. He was just a little miffed. You noticed he's called all the shots so far."

  The moonlight glistened in Tanda's hair as she shook her head.

  "I do know Aahz, Skeeve. Better than you do," she said. "He's a stickler for chain of command. If he says you're the leader, you're the leader."

  "But-"

  "Besides," she continued over my protest, "Aahz is only one member of the team. What's important is all the others are counting on you, too. On you, not on Aahz. You hired 'em, and as far as they're concerned, you're the boss."

  The frightening thing was she was right. I hadn't really stopped to think about it, but everything she said was true. I had just been too busy with my own worries to reflect on it. Now that I realized the full extent of my responsibilities, a new wave of doubts assaulted me. I wasn't even that sure of myself as a magician, and as a leader of men ....

  "I'll have to think about it," I stalled.

  "You don't have much time," she pointed out. "You've got a war scheduled to start tomorrow."

  There was a crackling in the brush to our left, interrupting our conversation.

  "Boss?" came Brockhurst's soft hail. "Are you busy?"

  "Sort of," I called back.

  "Well, this will only take a minute."

  Before I could reply, two shadows detached themselves from the brush and drew closer. One was Brockhurst, the other was Gus. I should have known from the noise that the gargoyle was accompanying Brockhurst. Like Tanda, the Imp could move like a ghost.

  "We were just talking about Ajax," Brockhurst informed me, squatting down to join our conference.

  The gargoyle followed suit.

  "Yeah," Gus confirmed. "The three of us wanted to make a suggestion to you."

  "Right," Brockhurst nodded. "Gus and me and the Gremlin."

  "The Gremlin?" I asked.

  The Imp craned his neck to peer around him.

  "He must have stayed back at camp," he shrugged.

  "About Ajax," Tanda prompted.

  "We think you should pull him from the team," Gus announced. "Send him back to Deva and out of the line of fire."

  "It's not for us," Brockhurst hastened to clarify. "It's for him. He's a nice old guy, and we'd hate to see anything happen to him."

  "He is pretty old," I murmured.

  "Old!" Gus exclaimed. "Boss, the Gremlin says he's tailed him for over two hundred years . . . two hundred! According to him, Ajax was old when their paths first crossed. It won't kill him to miss this one war, but it might kill him to fight in it."

  "Why is the Gremlin tailing him, anyway?" I asked.

  "I've told you before, kid," a voice boomed in my ear, "gremlins don't exist."

  With that pronouncement, Aahz sank down at my side, between me and Tanda. As I attempted to restore my heartbeat to normal, it occurred to me I knew an awful lot of light-footed people.

  "Hi, Aahz," I said, forcing a smile. "We were just talking about-"

  "I know, I heard," Aahz interrupted. "And for a change I agree."

  "You do?" I blinked.

  "Sure," he yawned. "It's a clear-cut breach of contract. He hired out his services as a bowman, and the first assignment you give him, he literally lies down on the job."

  Actually, it had been the second assignment. I had a sudden flash recollection of Ajax drawing and firing in a smooth, fluid motion, cutting down a signal standard so distant it was barely visible.

  "My advice would be to send him back," Aahz was saying. "If you want to soothe your conscience, give him partial payment and a good recommendation, but the way he is, he's no good to anybody."

  Perhaps it was because of Tanda's lecture, but I was suddenly aware that Aahz had specifically stated his suggestion as "advice," not an order.

  "Heads up, boss," Brockhurst murmured. "We've got company."

  Following his gaze, I saw Ajax stumbling toward us, his ghostlike paleness flickering in the darkness like . . . well, like a ghost. It occurred to me that what had started out as a moment of solitude was becoming awfully crowded.

  "Evenin', youngster," he saluted. "Didn't mean to interrupt nothin! Didn't know you folks was havin' a meetin'."

  "We . . . ah . . . we were just talking," I explained, suddenly embarrassed.

  "I kin guess about what, too," Ajax sighed. "Well, I was goin' to do this private-like, but I suppose the rest o' you might as well hear it, too."

  "Do what, Ajax?" I asked.

  "Resign," he said. "Seems to me to be the only decent thing to do after what happened today."

  "It could have happened to anyone," I shrugged.

  "Nice of you to say so, youngster," Ajax smiled, "but I kin see the handwriting on the wall. I'm just too old to be any good to anybody anymore. 'Bout time I admitted it to myself."

  I found myself noticing the droop in his shoulders and a listlessness that hadn't been there when we first met on Deva.

  "Don't fret about payin' me," Ajax continued. "I didn't do nothin', so I figger you don't owe me nothin'. If somebody'll just blip me back to Deva, I'll get outta your way and let you fight your war the way it should be fought."

  "Well, Ajax," Aahz sighed, rising to his feet and extending his hand. "We're going to miss you."

  "Just a minute!" I found myself saying in a cold voice. "Are you trying to tell me you're breaking our contract?"

  Ajax's head came up with a snap.

  "I expected better from a genuine Archer," I concluded.

  "I wouldn't call it a breach of contract, youngster," the old bowman corrected me carefully. "More like a termination by mutual consent. I'm jes' too old-"

  "Old?" I interrupted. "I knew you were old when I hired you. I knew you were old when I planned my strategy for tomorrow's fight around that bow of yours. I knew you were old, Ajax, but I didn't know you were a coward!"

  There was a sharp intake of breath somewhere nearby, but 1 didn't see who it was. My attention was focused on Ajax. It was no longer a defeated, drooping old man, but a proud, angry warrior who loomed suddenly over me.

  "Sonny," he growled, "I know I'm old, 'cause in my younger days I would have killed you for sayin' that. 1 never ran from a fight in my life, and 1 never broke a contract. If you got some shootin' fer me to do tomorrow, I'll do it. Then maybe you'll see what havin' a genuine Archer on your side is all about!"

  With that, he spun on his heel and stalked off into the darkness.

  It had been a calculated risk, but I still found I was covered with cold sweat from facing the old man's anger. I also realized the rest of the group was staring at me in silent expectation.

  "I suppose you're all wondering why I did that," I said, smiling.

  I had hoped for a response, but the silence continued.

  "I appreciate all your advice, and hope you continue to give it in the future. But I'm leading this force, and the final decisions have to be mine."

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Aahz cock his eyebrow, but I ignored him.

  "Everyone, including Ajax, said if I let him go, if I sent him back to Deva, there would be no harm done. I disagree. It would have taken away the one thing the years have left untouched . . . his pride. It would have confirmed to him his worst -fears, that he's become a useless old man."

  I scanned my audience. Not one of them could meet my eye.

  "So he might get killed. So what? He's accepted that risk in every war he's fought in. I'd rather order him into a fight knowing for certain he'd be killed than condemn him to a living death as a washed-up has-been. This way, he has a chance, and as his employer, I feel I owe him that chance."

  I paused for breath. They were looking at me again, hanging on my next words.

  "One more thing," I snarled. "I don't want to hear any more talk about him being useless. That old man still handles a bow be
tter than anyone I've ever seen. If I can't find a way to use him effectively, then it's my fault as a tactician, not his! I've got my shortcomings, but I'm not going to blame them on Ajax any more than I'd blame them on any of you."

  Silence reigned again, but I didn't care. I had, spoken my piece, and felt no compulsion to blather on aimlessly just to fill the void.

  "Well, boss" -Brockhurst cleared his throat getting to his feet-"I think I'll turn in now."

  "Me, too," echoed Gus, also rising.

  "Just one thing." The Imp paused and met my gaze squarely. "For the record, it's a real pleasure working for you."

  The gargoyle nodded his agreement, and the two of them faded into the brush.

  There was a soft kiss on my cheek, but by the time I turned my head, Tanda had disappeared.

  "You know, kid," Aahz said, "you're going to make a pretty good leader someday."

  "Thanks, Aahz," I blinked.

  ". . . if you live that long," my mentor concluded.

  We sat side by side in silence for a while longer. Gleep had apparently dozed off, for he was snoring softly as I continued petting him.

  "If it isn't prying," Aahz asked finally, "what is this master plan you have for tomorrow that's built around Ajax?"

  I sighed and closed my eyes.

  "I haven't got one," I admitted. "I was kind of hoping you'd have a few ideas."

  "I was afraid you were going to say that," Aahz grumbled.

  Chapter Nineteen

  "What if they gave a war and only one side came-"

  -LUCIFER

  "Wake up, kid!"

  I returned to consciousness as I was being forcefully propelled sideways along the forest floor, presumably assisted by the ready toe of my mentor.

  After I had slid to a stop, I exerted most of my energy and raised my head.

  "Aahz," I announced solemnly, "as leader of this team, I have reached another decision. In the future, I want Tanda to wake me up."

  "Not a chance," Aahz leered. "She's off scouting our right flank. It's me or the dragon."

  Great choice. I suddenly realized how bright it was.

  "Hey!" I blinked. "How late is it?"

  "Figure we've got about a minute before things start popping," Aahz said casually.